Tsiku Laukwati N’losangalatsa Komanso N’losautsa

BAIBULO limasonyeza kuti Yehova Mulungu, amene amawadziŵa bwino anthu kuposa wina aliyense, ndi amene anayamba kumangitsa banja. Anayambitsa ukwati kuti ukhale poyambira penipeni pa anthu. (Genesis 2:18-24) Ndipo m’Baibulo, limene lili Mawu ouziridwa ndi Mulungu, timapezamo mfundo zambirimbiri zimene zingatithandize poganizira za chikwati.

Mwachitsanzo, Yesu anati Akristu ayenera ‘kupereka kwa Kaisara zake za Kaisara.’ (Mateyu 22:21) Motero, Akristuwo ayenera kutsatira malamulo a m’dzikomo. Ukwati umene umachitika mogwirizana ndi zimene malamulo amafuna umateteza anthu amene akuloŵa m’banjawo m’njira zingapo, monga kuwapatsa udindo woyang’anira ana (kuphatikizapo kuwapezera pokhala, zovala, zakudya ndiponso kuwaphunzitsa) komanso ufulu wa kukhala ndi choloŵa chawo. Palinso malamulo amene anakhazikitsidwa kuteteza anthu a m’banja kuti asamachitiridwe nkhanza ndi kuzunzidwa. *

Kukonzekera

Ngati anthu agwirizana kuti adzakwatirana ndiponso kuti ukwati wawo udzachitika mogwirizana ndi malamulo ndiponso mfundo za chikhalidwe za m’Baibulo, komanso mogwirizana ndi malamulo a m’dzikomo, kodi ndi zinthu zothandiza ziti zoyenera kuziganizira? Zina za izo ndizo tsiku ndiponso mtundu wa phwando laukwati umene mukufuna.

Pankhaniyi buku lina limati, “N’kutheka kuti zofuna za akwati sizikugwirizana kwenikweni ndi zimene makolo awo akufuna, motero zingawavute kusankha pakati pa zimene iwo akufuna ndi zimene ena akhala akuchita m’banja mwawomo.” Ndiyeno angatani? “Palibe njira yachidule yothetsera vuto limeneli, koma chofunika n’kungomvetsera mwanzeru, n’kukambirana za mavuto anu kenaka n’kumanga mfundo imodzi. Iyi ndi nthaŵi imene aliyense mtima umakhala m’mwamba, koma kuganiziratu kaye n’kudziŵa bwino zochita kungathandize kwambiri kuti kukonzekera kusavute,” limatero buku lothandiza kukonzekera ukwati lotchedwa The Complete Wedding Organiser and Record.

Ngakhale kuti makolo angachite zambiri pofuna kuonetsetsa kuti zinthu zonse zidzayende bwino patsikulo, iwo sayenera kutengeka ndi maganizo ofuna kulamula kuti zimene akufuna iwowo zichitike basi. Komabe, ngakhale kuti mkwati ndi mkwatibwi ndiwo ali ndi mphamvu zonse zochita zimene akuganiza, iwo ayenera kumvera malangizo abwino. Poganizira zinthu zimene ayenera kuvomereza, akwatiwo ayenera kukumbukira malangizo a m’Baibulo aŵa: “Zinthu zonse ziloleka; koma sizipindula zonse. Zinthu zonse ziloleka; koma sizimanga zonse. Munthu asafune zake za iye yekha, koma za mnzake.”—1 Akorinto 10:23, 24.

Pokonzekera pamakhala zinthu zambiri, kungoyambira kutumiza makalata oitanira anthu mpaka kulinganizanso za madyerero ake. M’buku lake lokhudza za ukwati wamakono, lotchedwa Marriage for Moderns, H. Bowman anati, “Mukakonzekera bwinobwino m’pamenenso mumaoneratu ndi kulinganiziratu zinthu, ndiponso simungalefuke ndi kusautsika kwambiri.” Iye anachenjeza kuti, “Ngakhale zinthu zitayenda bwino motani, pangakhalebe zina zolefula ndipo ndibwino kuyesetsa kupeza njira yabwino yozichepetsera.”

 Mudzakhalabe ndi timaulendo tina n’tina ndiponso alendo oyenera kuwachezetsa. Kodi anzanu kapena achibale angadzipereke kuti athandize nawo? Kodi zinthu zina zimene sizochita kufuna kuti zichitidwe ndi mkwati ndiponso mkwatibwi zingaperekedwe kwa anthu ena oti angazichite?

Ndalama Zowonongedwa

M’pofunika kwambiri kukhala ndi bajeti yoyenera. Si chinthu chanzeru kapena chosonyeza chikondi kuti akwati kapena makolo awo agwe m’ngongole pofuna kulipirira phwando laukwati limene lingadye ndalama zambiri zimene iwo sangakwanitse kuzipeza. Anthu ambiri amene angakwanitse kuchita phwando laukwati lalikulu amachitabe ukwati wosalira zinthu zambirimbiri. Mulimonsemo akwati ena aona kuti n’chinthu chanzeru kukhala ndi mndandanda wa zinthu zimene akufuna kugula wokhala ndi mitengo imene akungoiganizira kapena mitengo yake yeniyeni. Kungakhalenso kothandiza kuikiratu nthaŵi kapena tsiku lomaliza loti zinthu zonse zoyenera kulinganizidwa zidzakhale zili chire panthaŵi imeneyo. Mukalimbana n’kuloŵeza pamtima kuti chakutichakuti chidzafunika chikhalepo patsiku lakuti, ndiye kuti muzingodzivutitsa n’kuganiza.

Kodi phwando laukwatilo lidzadya ndalama zingati? Mitengo ya zinthu siifanana m’madera osiyanasiyana koma kulikonse kumene mumakhala ndibwino kudzifunsa mafunso aŵa: ‘Kodi tikwanitsa kugula zinthu zonse zimene tikufunazi? Kodi ndi zinthu zofunikadi kwambiri?’ Mkwatibwi wina wongokwatiwa kumene dzina lake Tina anati: “Zinthu zina zimene zinkaoneka ngati ‘zofunika kwambiri’ panthaŵiyo, zinaoneka pamapeto pake kuti sizinali zofunikadi.” Taganizirani malangizo a Yesu awa: “Ndani wa inu amene akafuna kumanga nsanja yaitali, sathanga wakhala pansi, naŵerengera mtengo wake, aone ngati ali nazo zakuimaliza?” (Luka 14:28) Ngati mulibe ndalama zokwanira kugula zinthu zonse zimene mukufuna, ndibwino osagulapo zina. Ngakhale mutakhala kuti mungakwanitse kugula zinthu zochulukirapo, mungachitebe bwino posachulukitsa kwambiri zinthuzo.

Ku Italy, kunali chionetsero cha zamalonda cholimbikitsa ntchito zosiyanasiyana zothandiza, ndipo zinthu zogulitsa za paukwati zimene zinalipo zinasonyeza pafupifupi ndalama zonse zimene akwatibwi ambiri a ku Italy angawononge. Zodzoladzola ndiponso kukonzetsa tsitsi kumawononga ndalama zokwana madola 450; kuchita hayala galimoto yapamwamba, madola 300; kujambulitsa vidiyo ya tsikuli, madola 600; buku loikamo zithunzi (popanda zithunzi zake), madola okwana 125 kapena mpaka 500; maluŵa, madola 600 kupita m’mwamba; madyerero, madola okwana 45 kapena mpaka 90 munthu aliyense; chovala cha mkwatibwi, madola oposa 1,200. Poganizira kuti tsiku la ukwati n’lofunika kwambiri, n’zomveka ndithu kuti munthu amalakalaka chinthu chinachake chapadera. Koma chilichonse chimene mungaganize kuchita, muyenera kuchichita mosamalitsa.

Ngakhale kuti anthu ena amawononga ndalama zambirimbiri, ena amakonda kusinira, kapena amatero chifukwa chakuti sangachitirenso mwina. Mkwatibwi wina anati, “Tonse tinali apainiya [olalikira nthaŵi zonse a uthenga wabwino], ndipo tinalibe ndalama iliyonse, komabe tinalibe nazo ntchito. Apongozi anga anagula nsalu yosokera diresi yaukwati ndipo mnzanga wina anandisokera diresili monga mphatso yaukwati wanga. Mwamuna wanga ndiye analemba pamanja makalata oitanira anthu, ndipo mnzathu wina wachikristu anatibwereka galimoto. Ifeyo tinangogula zinthu zofunika kwambiri pamadyerero ndipo munthu wina anatipatsa vinyo. Panalibe zinthu zambirimbiri, koma zomwezo zinali zokwanira.” Mkwati wina ananena kuti achibale ndi anzanu akakuthandizani, “simuwononga ndalama zambiri.”

Kaya akwati achikristu ali ndi chuma kapena ayi, iwo afunika kupeŵa kuchita zinthu zoti agometse anthu, kuchita zinthu mwachikunja kapena modzionetsera. (1 Yohane 2:15-17) Zingakhaletu zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri ngati phwando losangalatsa ngati laukwati lingachititse munthu wina kulephera kutsatira mfundo za chikhalidwe za m’Malemba za kudziletsa zimene zimachenjeza kuti munthu asakhale wodyaidya, wakumwaimwa  kapena wochita chilichonse chimene chingam’lepheretse kukhala “wopanda chirema”!—Miyambo 23:20, 21; 1 Timoteo 3:2.

Peŵani chizoloŵezi chofuna kukhala ndi phwando laukwati lalikulu ndiponso labwino kuposa la auje. Taganizirani mavelo aŵa osokedwa mokokomeza amene akwatibwi aŵiri anavala. Velo ina inali yaikulu mamita okwana 13 m’mimba mwake ndipo inkalemera makilogalamu okwana 220; ina inali yaitali mamita 300, ndipo panafunika atsikana operekeza akwati okwanira 100 othandiza kunyamula veloyo. Kodi kutsanzira zinthu zodzionetsera zoterozo kungakhale kogwirizana ndi malangizo a m’Baibulo pankhani ya kuchita zinthu mwanzeru?—Afilipi 4:5.

Kodi Tiyenera Kutsatira za Miyambo?

Miyambo yaukwati imasiyanasiyana m’mayiko onse, motero n’kosatheka kukambapo za miyambo yonse. Poganizira ngati angatsatire mwambo winawake, akwatiwo ayenera kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi mwambowu umatanthauza chiyani? Kodi ukukhudzana n’zikhulupiriro zinazake zabodza zokhudza kupeza mwayi kapena kukhala wobereka, monga mwambo womawaza mpunga akwati? Kodi ukukhudzana ndi za chipembedzo chonyenga kapena zochita zina zimene Baibulo limaletsa? Kodi ndi mwambo wosaganizira mmene zinthu zilili kapenanso ndi wosoŵa chikondi? Kodi ungawachititse anthu ena manyazi kapena kuwakhumudwitsa? Kodi ungachititse kuti anthu akayikire zolinga za akwatiwo? Kodi mwambowo ngokayikitsa?’ Ngati mukukayikira mfundo ina iliyonse pamenepa, ndibwino kupeŵa mwambo umenewo ndipo ngati n’koyenera, auzeni anthu amene mwawaitana zimene mwaganiza tsikulo lisanafike.

N’zopatsa Chimwemwe Komanso Maganizo

Patsiku laukwati, anthu amakondwa kwambiri n’kufikanso pena pogwetsa misozi. Mkwatibwi wina anati, “Chimwemwe chinakula kwambiri ndipo zinkangokhala ngati n’kutulo basi.” Koma mkwati wina akukumbukira kuti: “Linali tsiku loipa kwambiri komanso labwino kwambiri m’moyo wanga. Azilamu anga analira kwambiri chifukwa chakuti ndinali kuwatengera mchemwali wawo woyamba, mkazi wanga anali misozi yokhayokha poona kuti makolo ake akulira ndipo pamapeto pake, nanenso ndinagwetsa misozi chifukwa chakuti sindinathenso kuugwira mtima wanga.”

Zinthu zoterezi zisakuopseni, zimachitika chifukwa cha maganizo. Ndiponso simuyenera kudabwa ngati nthaŵi zina achibale atasemphana mawu pang’ono, ngakhale akwati enieniwo. “Ndiponsotu, n’kutheka kuti ndi nthaŵi yawo yoyamba yokonza phwando lalikulu chonchi pamodzi, ndipo n’kuthekanso kwambiri kuti penapake ndithu nkhaŵa ingawonongetse mgwirizano wawo,” limatero buku la The Complete Wedding Organiser and Record. Bukuli limapitiriza kuti, “Kukhumudwa chifukwa chakuti zinthu sizikuyenda bwino monga mmene munali kuganizira n’kosathandiza. Chinthu chabwino kwambiri kuchita panthaŵi yotereyi n’kupempha nzeru ndiponso chithandizo.”

Mkwati wina anati: “Chinthu chimene chikanandithandiza kwambiri ndiponso chimene ndakhala ndikudandaula kuti ndinalibe ndicho munthu wondipatsa nzeru yemwe ndikanamvana naye maganizo ndiponso kumuuza zakukhosi kwanga.” Ndi ndaninso amene angachite zimenezo kuposa mnzanu wochita zachikulu kapena wachibale kapenanso munthu wina wa mumpingo wachikristu amene anadutsa momwemo?

Makolo akamaona mwana wawo akuchoka panyumba, angakhale achimwemwe, onyadira, komanso panthaŵi imodzimodziyo angamade nkhaŵa kuti kaya zikhala bwanji mwanayo akachokeratu. Komabe mopanda dyera, iwo ayenera kuzindikira kuti nthaŵi yafika yakuti mwana wawo ‘asiye atate ake ndi amayi ake’ kukadziphatika kwa mkazi kapena mwamuna wake kuti ‘akhale thupi limodzi,’ monga mmene Mlengi anafunira. (Genesis 2:24) Ponenapo zimene anachita paukwati wa mwana wake woyamba wamwamuna, mayi wina akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinalira kwambiri komabe ngakhale kuti ndinali kulira chifukwa cha chisoni, ndinalinso kulira chifukwa cha chimwemwe chakuti ndapeza mpongozi wanga wokondedwadi.”

Kuti phwando laukwatilo likhale losangalatsa ndiponso lolimbikitsa, makolo ndiponso mkwati ndi mkwatibwi, ayenera kuonetsa makhalidwe achikristu a kugwirizana, kudekha, kupanda dyera ndiponso kulolerana.—1 Akorinto 13:4-8; Agalatiya 5:22-24; Afilipi 2:2-4.

Akwatibwi ena amaopa kuti chinachake chingadzalakwike kwambiri patsiku laukwati wawo, monga kuti galimoto ingadzaphwe thayala n’kufika kuphwandoko mochedwa, kunja kungadzaipe kapena kuti chovala chaukwati chingadzawonongeke  mosati n’kusoketsanso masiku atatha kale. N’kutheka kuti zonsezo sizingachitike n’komwe. Komabe musanyalanyaze nkhaniyi chifukwa zinthu zonse sizingadutse moyera. Muyenera kuyembekezera zinthu zongochitika mwadzidzidzi. (Mlaliki 9:11) Zinthu zikavuta, yesetsani kusazitengera kumtima n’kungokhalabe ndi maganizo oti zagwa zatha basi. Ngati chinachake chalakwika, kumbukirani kuti mtsogolomo zidzakhala zoseketsa mukamadzasimba nkhaniyo. Musalole kuti zinthu zazing’onong’ono zisokoneze chimwemwe choyenera kupezeka paukwatipo.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

 [Mawu Otsindika patsamba 25]

“Zinthu zina zimene zinkaoneka ngati ‘zofunika kwambiri’ panthaŵiyo, zinaoneka pamapeto pake kuti sizinali zofunikadi,” anatero MKWATIBWI WINA, dzina lake TINA

[Bokosi/Zithunzi patsamba 25]

CHITSANZO CHA NDANDANDA YA ZINTHU ZOFUNIKA POKONZEKERA *

Patatsala miyezi 6 kapena kuposa

❑ Mukambirane zimene mukuganiza kudzachita ndi munthu amene adzakhale mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, azilamu ndiponso makolo anu

❑ Mugwirizane kuti mukufuna chikwati chotani

❑ Onani kuti kodi padzafunika ndalama zingati

❑ Fufuzani kuti boma limafuna zinthu zotani

❑ Mupezeretu kumene mudzachitire madyerero

❑ Pezani munthu wodzakujambulani

Patatsala miyezi inayi

❑ Pa zovala zimene muli nazo, sankhani zovala zimene mukuganiza kuti mungadzavale paukwati wanu apo ayi mukaguliretu, kapena mukasoketseretu

❑ Pezeranitu kumene mungakatenge maluŵa

❑ Sankhani ndiponso muitanitse makhadi oitanira anthu amene mukufuna

Patatsala miyezi iŵiri

❑ Tumizani makhadi kapena makalata oitanira anthu

❑ Muguliretu mphete

❑ Mukatengeretu mtchato

Patatsala mwezi umodzi

❑ Yesani ngati zovala za paukwati zikukukwanani bwinobwino

❑ Tsimikizirani kuti zonse zimene munaitanitsa zili chire ndiponso kuti anthu onse amene munapangana nawo zinthu adzakwanitsa kuzichita

❑ Lembani makalata othokoza anthu onse amene aperekeratu mphatso zawo

Patatsala milungu iŵiri

❑ Yambani kusamutsa katundu wanu n’kukamuika kumene muzikakhala

Patatsala mlungu umodzi

❑ Tsimikizirani kuti anthu onse odzakuthandizani akudziŵa zimene azidzachita

❑ Mukonzeretu mmene mudzabwezere zinthu zimene munabwereka.

❑ Muwapatse anthu ena ntchito zonse zimene angathe kuchita mmalo mwanu

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

“Chimene Mulungu anachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse”