Ukwati Uyenera Kukhala Mgwirizano Wosatha

TIKATENGERA mmene mafilimu ambiri amathera, n’zoonekeratu kuti kukwatirana ndi chinthu chimene anthu amalakalaka kwambiri. Nthaŵi zambiri m’mafilimuwo mwamuna ndi mkazi amayamba kuchezerana, n’kukwatirana kenaka n’kumakhala “mosangalala mpaka kalekale.” M’mafilimuŵa, kaŵirikaŵiri zonse zimathera pamenepo.

Koma m’moyo weniweni chikwati sindiwo mathero, koma ndi chiyambi chabe cha moyo watsopano muli aŵiri. Ndipo mwina, malingana ndi kunena kwa Mlaliki 7:8, “chitsiriziro cha kanthu chiposa chiyambi chake.”

Mgwirizano Wosatha

Kuoneratu zam’tsogolo n’kofunika. Ngati mukufuna kuti ukwati wanu udzakhale mpaka kalekale komanso muli osangalala, muyenera kuuyamba bwinobwino. Apo ayi, mudzakhala ndi maganizo ochuluka pambuyo paukwatiwo kuposa amene munali nawo tsiku laukwati lisanafike. Mkristu sangaloŵe m’banja akuganiza kuti: ‘Banjali likapanda kuyenda bwino ndikhoza kungom’sudzula basi.’ Ukwati tiyenera kuutenga monga mgwirizano umene suyenera kutha.

Yesu ananena momveka bwino kuti ukwati suyenera kutha poyankha funso limene munthu wina anafunsa lokhudza za kusudzulana koyenera. Iye anati: “Kodi simunaŵerenga kuti [Mulungu] amene adalenga anthu pachiyambi, anawalenga iwo mwamuna ndi mkazi, nati, ‘Chifukwa cha ichi mwamuna adzasiya atate wake ndi amake, nadzaphatikizana ndi mkazi wake, ndipo aŵiriwo adzakhala thupi limodzi’? Chotero kuti salinso aŵiri koma thupi limodzi. Chifukwa chake ichi chimene Mulungu anachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.”—Mateyu 19:4-6.

Tsiku Laukwati Litapita

Anthu akhala akunena molondola kuti m’moyo wa Mkristu, kudzipereka kwa Mulungu ndiko kofunika kwambiri ndipo kenako ukwati. Kudzipereka kwa Mulungu kumam’pangitsa munthu kumukonda kwambiri Mlengi kwamuyaya, ndipo ubatizo umachititsa kuti zimenezi zionekere kwa anthu onse. Ukwati n’kulengeza kwa anthu onse kuti mudzamukonda kwambiri munthu mnzanu kwamuyaya. Si chilungamo kuti munthu adzipereke yekha kwa Mulungu kapena kuganizira zoloŵa m’banja pamene iye ali ndi maganizo ena ambirimbiri. Choncho, onse amene akuganiza zoloŵa m’banja afunika kufufuza mozama zimene munthu amene akufuna kukwatirana nayeyo amakhulupirira, zolinga zake, maganizo ake ndiponso khalidwe lake.

Pokonzekera chikwati, m’pofunika kukhala wokoma mtima, woganizira ena, ndiponso wa mzimu wololera. Makhalidwe ameneŵa ndi ofunikanso  kwambiri ngakhale tsiku laukwati litapita kuti banja lanu lizidzayenda bwino. Anthu amene akungokwatirana kumene amakondana kwambiri, komatu mukamakhala tsiku lililonse pambuyo pa tsiku laukwati osaiŵala kuti, chikondi “sichitsata za mwini yekha.” Chaka ndi chaka mukamachita zinthu zachikondi, chikondicho, “sichitha nthaŵi zonse.” (1 Akorinto 13:5, 8) Mukakhala ndi chikondi chosatha ndiye kuti sizidzakuvutani kusonyeza makhalidwe amene ali chipatso cha mzimu wa Mulungu onga kuleza mtima, chifundo, kukoma mtima, kufatsa ndiponso kudziletsa. Makhalidwe ameneŵa ndi ofunika kwambiri kuti ukwati uziyenda bwino.—Agalatiya 5:22, 23.

Chinthu chovuta kwambiri n’kupitirizabe kusonyeza makhalidwe ameneŵa tsiku laukwati litapita. Komabe, chinsinsi chokhalabe ndi makhalidwe abwinoŵa ndi ichi: Mukondeni munthu amene munakwatirana nayeyo ndiponso khalani wofunitsitsa kugonjera pazinthu zina ndi zina.

Yesu ananena kuti lamulo lalikulu kwa anthu onse ndilo la kukonda Yehova, ndipo anati lachiŵiri n’lakuti, “Uzikonda mnzako monga udzikonda iwemwini.” (Mateyu 22:39) Mnzake kwambiri wa munthu  wokwatira kapena wokwatiwa ndiye mkazi kapena mwamuna wake, chifukwa chakuti padzikoli palibenso chinthu china chilichonse chimene chingapangitse anthu aŵiri kukhala okondana kwambiri kuposa mmene umachitira ukwati.

Komabe, si ndiye kuti kungokondana monga anthu okwatirana kungapangitse kuti anthu agwirizane maganizo. Si kuti anthu aŵiri akamakhala malo amodzi muukwati ndiye kuti amaganiza zimodzi. Kuti kugonana kukhale kosangalatsa kwambiri, ndiye kuti anthuwo ayeneranso kugwirizana mwanjira ina. Iwo ayenera kukhala ndi mtima umodzi pankhani imeneyi. Nthaŵi zambiri, kungogonjera zofuna za wina ndiko kothandiza kuti banja liziyenda bwino. Kodi ndi ndani amene ayenera kugonjera? Mwamuna kapena mkazi kodi?

Kusonyeza Chikondi Ndiponso Ulemu

Mawu a Mulungu amalamula kuti: “Pochitirana ulemu wina ndi mnzake, inuyo muzikhala woyamba kutero.” (Aroma 12:10, NW) Ngati mungathe, m’chitireni mnzanu chinthu chinachake chovuta iye asanakupempheni kutero. Ndiponsotu, ngati mutapatsidwa chinthu chinachake mutachita kutopa n’kupempha, chinthucho sichikhalanso chosangalatsa kwenikweni. Choncho, wina aliyense m’banjamo ayenera kulimbikira kukhala ndi khalidwe lomayamba iyeyo kusonyeza ulemu kwa mnzake.

Mwachitsanzo, amuna akulamulidwa “kuchitira mkazi ulemu, monga chotengera chochepa mphamvu, . . . kuti mapemphero [awo] angaletsedwe.” (1 Petro 3:7) Ngati mwamuna sachitira mkazi wake ulemu, ndiye kuti Mulungu sangamve n’komwe mapemphero ake. Nangano kodi kuchitira mkazi ulemu kumatanthauza chiyani? Kumatanthauza kumulabadira nthaŵi iliyonse, kum’mvera maganizo ake, nthaŵi zambiri kum’patsa ufulu woti aziyamba iye kusankha zochita pazinthu zosiyanasiyana. Ndipo naye mkazi angam’lemekeze mwamuna wake mwanjira yofananayo, poyesetsa kukhala munthu wothandizira wosavuta kugwirizana naye zochita.—Genesis 21:12; Miyambo 31:10-31.

Mawu a Mulungu amati: “Amuna azikonda akazi awo a iwo okha monga ngati matupi a iwo okha. Wokonda mkazi wa iye yekha, adzikonda yekha; pakuti munthu sanadana nalo thupi lake ndi kale lonse; komatu alilera nalisunga, monganso Kristu Eklesia.” Kodi Kristu anawakonda motani akuphunzira ake? Anawakonda kufika mpaka pofunitsitsa kuwafera. Baibulo limanenanso kuti: “[Amuna] yense payekha, yense akonde mkazi wake wa iye yekha, monga adzikonda yekha.” (Aefeso 5:28-33) Ndipo Mawu a Mulungu amawauza akazi kuti akhale ‘okonda amuna awo, . . . omvera amuna a iwo okha, kuti mawu a Mulungu angachitidwe mwano.’—Tito 2:4, 5.

Muzilekeleranako Chinachake Chikalakwika

Popeza kuti anthu onse anabadwa ali opanda ungwiro, ndiye kuti akhoza kulakwitsa zinthu zina. (Aroma 3:23; 5:12; 1 Yohane 1:8-10) Koma mmalo mongokuza zolakwikazo, mverani malangizo a m’Baibulo aŵa: “Koposa zonse mukhale nacho chikondano chenicheni mwa inu nokha; pakuti chikondano chikwiriritsa unyinji wa machimo.” (1 Petro 4:8) Zinthu zolakwika zing’onozing’ono sizivuta kuzithetsa pozikankhira kunkhongo basi. Ngakhalenso pothetsa zolakwika zikuluzikulu mukhoza kuchita chimodzimodzi. Akolose 3:12-14 amati: “Valani . . . mtima wachifundo, kukoma mtima, kudzichepetsa, chifatso, kuleza mtima; kulolerana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana eni okha, ngati wina ali nacho chifukwa pa mnzake; monganso Ambuye anakhululukira inu, teroni inunso; koma koposa izi zonse khalani nacho chikondano, ndicho chomangira cha mtima wamphumphu.”

Kodi tiyenera kukhululukira kangati zolakwa wamba za mnzathu amene tinakwatirana naye? Petro anafunsa Yesu kuti: “‘Ambuye, mbale wanga adzandilakwira kangati, ndipo ine ndidzam’khululukira iye? Kufikira kasanu ndi kaŵiri kodi?’ Yesu ananena kwa iye, ‘Sindinena kwa iwe kufikira kasanu ndi kaŵiri, koma kufikira [makumi asanu ndi aŵiri kudza zisanu ndi ziŵiri, NW] kubwerezedwa kasanu ndi kaŵiri.’” (Mateyu 18:21, 22) Popeza kuti Yesu ankanena zimenezi pokhudza za anthu osakwatirana, ndiye kutitu pali kukhululukirana kosaneneka pakati pa anthu okwatirana!

Ngakhale kuti chikondi cha muukwati chasokonekera m’zaka zaposachedwapa, m’tsogolomu ukwati uzidzayenda bwino chifukwa chakuti Mulungu ndiye anauyambitsa ndipo chilichonse chimene amayambitsa, chimakhala chabwino kwambiri. (Genesis 1:31) Sudzakhalanso chinthu chakale. Ndipo ungathe kupambana, makamaka kwa anthu amene amalemekeza ndiponso kutsatira malamulo a Mulungu. Koma vuto lagona pakuti: Kodi anthu aŵiriŵa adzapitiriza kuchita zimene analonjeza patsiku laukwati wawo kuti azidzakondana ndiponso kulemekezana? Ndithudi limeneli lingakhaledi vuto ndipo kuti muthane nalo mufunika kuchita khama. Komatu pamapeto pake khama lanulo lidzachititsa kuti zinthu zikuyendereni bwino!

[Bokosi patsamba 28]

KUSUDZULANA NDIPONSO KUPATUKANA

Mulungu, amene anayambitsa ukwati, anaulinganiza kuti usamathe. Koma kodi pali chifukwa cha m’Malemba chakuti munthu asudzule mkazi kapena mwamuna wake, kapena chimene chingam’theketse kukwatira kapena kukwatiwanso? Yesu anatchula nkhani imeneyi pamene anati: “Ine ndinena kwa inu, amene aliyense akachotsa mkazi wake, kosakhala chifukwa cha chigololo, nadzakwatira wina, achita chigololo.” (Mateyu 19:9) Kusakhulupirika kwa munthu wa m’banja pogonana ndi munthu wina amene sanakwatirane naye ndicho chifukwa chokha chimene winayo angathe kukwatira kapena kukwatiwanso.

Kuwonjezera pamenepo, mawu a m’Baibulo pa 1 Akorinto 7:10-16 amalimbikitsa anthu okwatirana kukhalira limodzi, komanso amaloleza kupatukana. Anthu ena akayesetsa kwa nthaŵi yaitali kuti asunge banja lawo, amaona kuti sangachitirenso mwina koma kungopatukana. Kodi zikatere n’zifukwa zotani zimene Malemba amavomereza kuti munthu apatukane ndi mnzake?

Choyamba ndicho kulephera mwadala kuthandiza banja. Pokwatira, mwamuna amatenga udindo wothandiza mkazi ndi ana ake. Mwamuna amene mwadala sapezera banja lake zinthu zofunika m’moyo “wakana chikhulupiriro iye, ndipo aipa koposa wosakhulupira.” (1 Timoteo 5:8) Zikakhala chonchi, kupatukana kungatheke.

China n’kuzunza kwambiri mkazi kapena mwamuna wake. Choncho ndiye kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi akamazunza amene anakwatirana naye, wozunzidwayo akhoza kupatukana naye. (Agalatiya 5:19-21; Tito 1:7) “Moyo wake [wa Mulungu] umuda woipa ndi iye wakukonda chiwawa.”—Salmo 11:5.

Chifukwa china chimene anthu angapatukane ndicho kufuna kuwonongeratu mbali yauzimu ya mkazi kapena mwamuna wokhulupirira, kapena kuti kusokoneza ubale wake ndi Mulungu. Okhulupirira ena aona kuti ndi bwino kupatukana ngati mkazi kapena mwamuna wawo akulimbana nawo kwambiri, mwina pomawachitira nkhanza, n’kumawalepheretsa kutsatira kulambira koona ndiponso makhalidwe awo auzimu n’kuyamba kuwonongeka. *—Mateyu 22:37; Machitidwe 5:27-32.

Komabe, ngati munthu atasudzula mnzake pakakhala nkhani zoterezi, iye sangakhale womasuka kukwatira kapena kukwatiwanso. Baibulo limati, “chigololo” ndicho chifukwa chokha chimene chingachititse kuti munthu akwatire kapena kukwatiwanso.—Mateyu 5:32.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 27]

Tiyenera kuutenga ukwati monga chinthu chimene chinakonzedwa kuti chisamathe

[Chithunzi patsamba 28]

Yesu ananena kuti tiyenera kukhululukira kufikira “makumi asanu ndi aŵiri kudza zisanu ndi ziŵiri”