Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingapeze Bwanji Mnzanga Wabwino Wogona Naye m’Chipinda Chimodzi?

“Pakanapanda mnzanga amene ndimagona naye m’chipinda chimodzi, si bwenzi nditatha kukhala mlaliki wa nthaŵi zonse ndiponso kulipira nyumba ndiponso zina zofunika monga magetsi, chakudya ndi madzi.”—Anatero Lynn. *

NTHAŴI zambiri achinyamata akayamba kukhala paokha, samvetsa akaona kuchuluka kwa ndalama zimene zimafunika pa ‘moyo weniweni.’ Kuti aukwanitse moyo wamasiku ano wodulawu, achinyamata ambiri amaona kuti njira yabwino ndiyo kukhala ndi mnzawo kapena anzawo othandizana nawo kugula zinthu zofunika pamoyo.

Koma malinga ndi momwe nkhani yathu yam’mbuyomo inafotokozera, kugona m’chipinda chimodzi ndi munthu amene simukum’dziŵa nkomwe, n’kovuta kwambiri. * Kungakhalenso kovuta kwa achinyamata achikristu amene amakhalira limodzi kuti akhale alaliki a nthaŵi zonse. Kaya muli ndi cholinga chotani, ngati mukufuna kumagona m’chipinda chimodzi ndi munthu wina, ndi bwino kugwiritsa ntchito “nzeru yeniyeni.” *—Miyambo 3:21.

Kuopsa Koyanjana ndi Anthu Oipa

Achinyamata ambiri amafuna anthu okhala nawo, m’zimapepala zomatidwa m’malo odziŵitsa anthu zinthu, m’manyuzipepala ndiponso pa Intaneti. Koma njira zimenezi n’zangozi kwambiri kwa achinyamata achikristu. Zimenezi zingakupangitseni kupeza munthu wosiyana naye chikhulupiriro, makhalidwe, kapenanso zokonda. Kodi kufuna kugona m’chipinda chimodzi ndi munthu wofanana naye chikhulupiriro ndi umbuli kapena n’kusakhala omasuka ndi anthu ena? Ayi ndithu, zimenezo ndiye nzeru. Baibulo limachenjeza kuti: “Mayanjano oipa aipsa makhalidwe okoma.”—1 Akorinto 15:33.

Taganizirani nkhani ya mtsikana wina dzina lake Lee. Iye anayamba kukhala kunyumba zogona ophunzira pa yunivesite ina asanakhale Mkristu wobatizidwa. Iye akukumbukira kuti: “Anali malo oipa kwambiri. Atsikana ena amati akafika m’nyumba amapeza anzawo amene amagona nawo akuchita zachiwerewere.” Mosakhalitsa moyo wa kumeneko unakhudza kwambiri moyo wake wauzimu. Lee akuti, “Ndinkalephera kupezeka pa misonkhano yambiri yachikristu.” N’chifukwa chake khalidwe lake linaipa kwambiri. “Tsiku lina, ndinatukwana, ndipo mtsikana wina anandifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi Yehova amalola kutukwana?’” Si mmene ndinachitira manyazi! Mwayi wake, Lee anachoka malo oipawo ndipo anayamba kulimbikira pa zinthu zauzimu. Komano zimene zinamuchitikira zikusonyeza kuipa kokhala ndi anthu amene saona kufunika kotsatira makhalidwe anu abwino.

Kupeza Anthu Okhala Nawo Abwino

Nangano, kodi n’kuti kumene mungafufuze anthu abwino kukhala nawo? Yambani mwafuna mu mpingo wanu wachikristu wa Mboni za Yehova.  Chosangalatsa n’chakuti, nthaŵi zambiri alaliki a nthaŵi zonse amakumana ndi achinyamata ena okonda zauzimu m’masukulu ndi m’misonkhano yosiyanasiyana ya alaliki a nthaŵi zonse. * Makolo, akulu a mu mpingo wanu, oyang’anira oyendayenda, ndiponso anthu ena angathandizenso; angadziŵe achinyamata ena amene angakhale abwino kukhala nawo.

Kuuza ena kuti mukufuna munthu wokhala naye kungathandizenso kwambiri. Mukauza anthu ambiri zimenezi, mungathe kupeza mnzanu mosavuta. (Mlaliki 11:6) Chofunika koposa zonsezi ndicho kupempha Yehova kuti akuthandizeni kuti mupeze munthu wokhala naye, ndipo m’dalireni kuti adalitse zochita zanu.—1 Yohane. 5:14, 15.

Fufuzani Zinthu Zofunika

Mukapeza munthu amene mukufuna kumakhala naye, mumafunitsitsa kuyamba kukhala naye mwamsanga. Koma ndi bwino kuyamba mwafufuza zinthu zina. Kodi munthuyo ‘amam’chitira umboni wabwino abale’ amumpingo wake? (Machitidwe 16:1, 2) Mwina, inu ndi makolo anu mungafunse anthu okhwima mwauzimu amene akum’dziŵa bwino munthuyo. Mungawafunse kuti: ‘Kodi munthu ameneyu ali ndi mbiri yotani? Kodi ndi wokhazikika maganizo ndiponso wokondadi zauzimu? Kodi amalalikira ndi kuyankha pamisonkhano? Kodi amadziŵika kuti ndi wakhalidwe?’

Kumbukirani kuti, “ukayenda ndi anzeru udzakhala wanzeru.” (Miyambo 13:20) David anati, “Mnzanga amene ndimagona naye m’chipinda chimodzi amakonda kwambiri zinthu zauzimu. Zimenezi zimandithandiza kukhalabe munthu wauzimu.” Renee amene wakhalapo ndi anzake angapo ananenanso chimodzimodzi kuti: “Pali anzanga ena amene ndinkagona nawo amene ankati usiku uliwonse tiziŵerengera pamodzi chaputala chimodzi cha Baibulo. Popeza makolo anga sanali Mboni, sitinkachita phunziro la banja la Baibulo. Choncho kuchita ‘phunziro la banja’ ndi anzanga amene ndinkagona nawo m’chipinda chimodzi kunkandisangalatsa kwambiri.” Inde, kugona ndi anthu amene amakondanso zinthu zauzimu ngati inuyo n’kwabwino kwambiri.

 Kukambirana Mwatchutchutchu

Ndiyeno, kumanani naye mnzanuyo kuti mukambirane. Kukambiranako kungakuthandizeni kuona ngati muli ndi maganizo ofanana. Chochititsa chidwi n’chakuti, kafukufuku amene analembedwa m’magazini ya Communication Research Reports anasonyeza kuti anthu ogonera limodzi amene amafanana zochitika pa kalankhulidwe kawo “ndi amene amakhala osangalala ndi okondana kwambiri.” Choncho ngati muli wosapsatira mawu, wochezeka, wokonda kunena za kukhosi, mungapeze mavuto ngati mutapeza mnzanu wamanyazi, wa phee, kapena wokonda kukhala payekha.

Inde simungafune kuti kukambiranako kukhale ngati ku polisi, koma n’kothandiza kukambirana zimene mnzanuyo akufuna kuchita. Kodi ali ndi zolinga zauzimu zimene akufuna kuchita kapena akungofuna kuthaŵa mavuto kunyumba kwawo? Lynn ananena vuto lina limene limakhalapo. Iye anati: “Ndinkagona ndi mnzanga amene anali ndi chibwenzi, ndipo chibwenzi chakecho chinkapezeka kunyumba kwathuko nthaŵi zonse, mpaka usiku.” Lynn anati zimene ankachita posonyezana kuti amakondana zinali zosayenera ndiponso zinkamunyansa. Komabe, nthaŵi zina mavuto ameneŵa angapeŵedwe mwa kugwirizana pasadakhale malamulo ena ofunika. Mwachitsanzo, Renee anati: “Tinali ndi lamulo lakuti amuna asamacheze kupitirira nthaŵi ina yake.” N’kwabwinonso kwa anthu ogonera limodzi kugwirizana kuti wina asamakhale yekha ndi munthu amene si mkazi kapena mwamuna mnzake.

Komanso n’kwabwino kukambirana zinthu zimene amakonda monga zokhudza maseŵero ndiponso nyimbo. Mark anati: “Ndimafuna kukhala m’chipinda chimodzi ndi munthu amene amakonda zinthu zimene ineyo ndimakonda, wa mtima ngati wanga komanso wokonda kuchita zimene ndimachita.” Komabe sikuti kukonda zinthu zosiyana kumatanthauza kuti simungakhalire limodzi. Nkhani yagona pakuti, Kodi ndinu wololera motani? Kodi ndinu wofunitsitsa kulolera kusintha zokonda zanu kuti mugwirizane ndi zokonda za mnzanuyo?

Lee anati: “Muyeneranso kum’funsa mnzanuyo zimene akuyembekezera mukayamba kukhalira limodzi. Ena amafuna kuti udzakhale mnzawo wapamtima. Koma si zimene ineyo ndikufuna ayi.” David ananenanso chimodzimodzi, kuti: “Ndikufuna mnzanga amene ndingachitire naye zinthu pamodzi koma osati azingoti londolondo ndikafuna kuchita zinthu zina ndi anthu ena.” Komanso, funsani ngati angakonde kuyendera nanu limodzi mu ntchito yolalikira kapena ngati akuganiza zina, monga kukatumikira ku mpingo kumene kulibe ofalitsa okwanira.

Pomaliza, onetsetsani kuti mwakambirana nkhani monga kuphika (kodi inuyo kapena mnzanuyo amadziŵa kuphika?), kuthandizana ntchito zapakhomo, kugwiritsa nawo ntchito zida za magetsi, malo oika zovala, mipando, kosunga katundu, ndi ziweto zam’nyumba. Kukambirana zinthu zimenezi kungathandize kupeŵa kukangana ndi kupweteketsana mtima. “Uphungu utsimikiza zolingalira,” pamatero pa Miyambo 20:18.

‘Moyenera ndi Molongosoka’

Mfundo ina yothandiza pa makhalidwe abwino imapezeka pa Luka 14:28, pamene pamati: ‘ŵerengerani mtengo wake.’ Inde, ŵerengerani ndalama zimene mungafunikire. Kodi nyumba idzafuna ndalama zingati? Chakudya? Zinthu zogwiritsa ntchito panyumbapo? Kodi nonse muzidzagwiritsa ntchito telefoni imodzi? Ngati ndi choncho, kodi muzidzagaŵana bwanji ndalama zolipirira foniyo? Lynn akuti: “Ine sindingatenge munthu wokhala naye ndisanatsimikize kuti angathe kulipira mbali yake ya ndalama zimenezi.” “Magazini ya pa kompyuta yotchedwa The Next Step inanena mosabisa kuti: “Kukhala ndi anthu amene sakuthandizani kulipira nyumba kapena chakudya . . . kapena amene amakhala ndi ngongole zochuluka kumapangitsa kuti muvutike maganizo mosayenerera.”

Renee anati: “Nthaŵi zina vuto silikhala lakuti ndalama zimene aliyense amafunika kupereka n’zochuluka koma vuto limakhala kuchedwa kupereka ndalamazo.” Iye anati: “Nyumba yathu imafunika kuti pofika pa 3 mwezi uliwonse tizikhala titalipira. Koma nthaŵi zina mnzangayo amachoka mapeto a mlungu asanalipire mbali yake, ndipo zikatere ineyo ndimayenera kukapepesa kwa eninyumba.” Ndithudi, ndi bwino kuchita zonse ‘moyenera ndi molongosoka’ osangosiya zinthu zofunika ngati zimenezi n’kumaganiza kuti momwe zikhaliremo m’momwemo. (1 Akorinto 14:40) Nthaŵi zambiri, ndi bwino kulemba zimene mwagwirizana.

Kuchita zinthu mosamala ndi mwanzeru kumathandiza kwambiri kupeza munthu wokhala naye amene adzakhala dalitso kwa inu osati mavuto. Komabe, bwanji ngati pali mavuto ndi kusiyana maganizo? Nkhani yomaliza ya nkhani ino idzalongosola zimenezi.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 16]

N’koopsa kugonera limodzi ndi anthu osamvera malamulo a makhalidwe abwino a m’Baibulo

[Chithunzi patsamba 16]

Musanavomere kuyamba kukhala ndi munthu wina, muziyamba mwakumana ndi kukambirana nkhani zofunika