Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi N’zothekadi Kuti Khalidwe la Anzanga Lingandisokoneze?

“Ine sindiona kuti anzanga amasokoneza khalidwe langa.”​—⁠Anatero mtsikana winawake wa kusekondale, dzina lake Pamela.

“Panopo sindikukhulupirira kuti khalidwe la anzanga lingandisokonezenso. Nthaŵi zambiri ndimachita zomwe ineyo pandekha ndikufuna.”​—⁠Anatero mnyamata winawake, dzina lake Robbie.

KODI nthaŵi inayake nanunso munayamba mwaganizapo chonchi? N’kuthekadi kuti mumadziŵa kuti Baibulo limati: “Mayanjano oipa aipsa makhalidwe okoma.” (1 Akorinto 15:33) Koma mungamakayikirebe kuti, ‘Kodi nkhani yakuti khalidwe la anzanga lingandisokoneze amangoinena mokokomeza chabe, moti mwina si yoopsa monga amainenera makolo anga ndi anthu ena achikulire?’

Nthaŵi zambiri ngati mumati mukakhala n’kumaima mutu chifukwa cha maganizo otere, si inu woyamba kutero. Koma tikukupemphani kuganizapo kaye kuti: Kodi n’kutheka ndithu kuti khalidwe la anthu ena lingathe kum’punduladi munthu? Achinyamata ambiri azindikira mochedwa kuti khalidwe la anzawo lawapundula. Mwachitsanzo mtsikana wina wotchedwa Angie anavomereza kuti n’kuthekadi kuti iyeyo akutengera za ena osati zimene akanafuna payekha. Iye anati: “Nthaŵi zina khalidwe la anthu ena limakuloŵerera kwambiri moti sudziŵa n’komwe kuti ukupundulidwa ndi khalidwe lawo. Umayamba kukhulupirira kuti zimenezo n’zimene mwini wakewe umafuna.”

Nayenso Robbie amene ananena mawu amene ali pamwambapo, ananena kuti zambiri zimene amachita n’zochokera m’mutu mwake basi. Komabe anavomereza kuti kukhala pafupi ndi mzinda waukulu n’kovuta kwambiri. N’chifukwa chiyani anatero? Chifukwa chokhala ndi anthu akhalidwe lokonda kwambiri zinthu zapamwamba. Iye anati: “Kunoku munthu umanunkha kanthu ngati uli ndi chuma.” N’zoonekeratu apa kuti kutengera khalidwe la anthu ena ndi nkhani yofunika kuiona bwino. Nanga n’chifukwa chiyani achinyamata ambiri amaganiza kuti khalidwe la anzawo silikuwawononga?

Khalidweli N’lopusitsa Kwambiri

Khalidweli n’lopusitsa, ndipotu lingatisokoneze tisakudziŵa n’komwe. Koma pang’ono ndi pang’ono anthu akamachita zinazake ife tili pompo,  mapeto ake tikhoza kutengera zochita zawozo. Mtumwi Paulo anazindikira kuti khalidwe la anthu ena limathadi kum’sokoneza munthu. Iye anachenjeza Akristu ku Roma kuti: “Musafanizidwe ndi makhalidwe a pansi pano.” (Aroma 12:⁠2) Kodi zimenezi zingachitike bwanji nanga?

Mmene Khalidweli Limasokonezera

Kodi mumasangalala anthu ena akamakukondani ndiponso akamafuna kuti mukhale mnzawo? Ambirife tingavomereze kuti timaterodi. Komatu zimene timazifunazi zili m’pokomera ndiponso poipira pake. Kodi zingatifikitse pati kuti anthu enawo ayambedi kutikonda? Ngakhale titakhala olimba moti wina sangatipundule khalidwe, bwanji nanga anthu otizungulira? Kodi akuyesetsa kuti khalidwe la ena lisawapundule kapena akungoti chimene chichitike, chichitike basi?

Mwachitsanzo, anthu ambiri masiku ano amaona kuti mfundo za m’Baibulo za makhalidwe abwino n’zachikale kwambiri kapena kuti sizingagwire ntchito m’nthaŵi yathu ino. Ambiri amaganiza kuti kulambira Mulungu m’njira imene iye amatiuza m’Mawu ake n’kopanda ntchito. (Yohane 4:24) Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani iwo amaganiza choncho? Mwachidule, n’kutheka kuti yankho lake n’lakuti amapundulidwa ndi anzawo. Pa Aefeso 2:​2, Paulo ananena za zochitika zadziko lapansili monga kuti zili ndi “mzimu” kapena maganizo amphamvu. Mzimu umenewo umawasokoneza anthu kuti aziganiza mofanana ndi anthu ambiri amene sam’dziŵa Yehova. Kodi ifeyo tingasokonezedwe bwanji?

Nthaŵi zambiri zimene timachita tsiku lililonse kusukulu, poŵerenga, pogwira ntchito zapakhomo ndiponso kuntchito, zimafunika kuzichita limodzi ndi anthu amene si Akristu anzathu. Mwachitsanzo, n’kutheka kuti pasukulu pangakhale anthu ambiri amene amayesetsa kuchita china chilichonse kuti atchuke pochita zachiwerewere kapenanso ngakhale kugwiritsira ntchito mankhwala ozunguza bongo ndiponso kuledzera kumene. N’chiyani chingachitike ngati titasankha anzathu apamtima pakati pa anthu akhalidwe lotereli kapena amene amaliona ngati labwino, mwinanso kumalitama kumene? N’kutheka kuti tingayambe kutengera maganizo awo. Mwina poyamba izi zingamachitike pang’onopang’ono. Tingati “mzimu” wa dzikoli ungatipundule n’kumatsatira zimene anthu ambiri akuchita.

N’zochititsa chidwi kuti zimene akatswiri oona za chikhalidwe cha anthu anapeza atafufuza nkhaniyi n’zogwirizana ndi mfundo za m’Baibulo zimenezi. Chitsanzo chodziŵika bwino pankhaniyi ndi ichi. Asch anapempha anthu enaake kuti akhale gulu limodzi. Dr. Asch anaonetsa gululo khadi lalikulu lojambulidwa mzere umodzi, kenaka n’kuonetsanso khadi lina la mizere itatu yosiyana kukula kwake. Kenaka anafunsa anthu pagululo kuti anene mzere womwe ukufanana ndi woyamba uja pa mizere itatuyo. Yankho lake linali lophweka. Poyamba anthuwo atafunsidwa kangapo, onse ananena chimodzi. Koma powayesa kachitatu, zinthu zinasintha.

Mongadi mmene zinalili poyamba, kunali kosavuta n’komwe kudziŵa mizere imene inali yofanana. Koma ena pagulupo ankangotengera zonena za ena n’kumaona ngati kuti ndizo zolondola koma osadziŵa kuti amenewowo achita kulipidwa kuti anene zimenezo. Onse anatchula yankho lolakwika limodzimodzilo. Chinachitika n’chiyani? Pa anthu anayi alionse, mmodzi yekha ndiye ankaumirira kuti zomwe akunena iyeyo ndizo zolondola basi. Ena onse ankangotsatira zonena za m’chigulugulu ngakhale kuti ankachita kuoneratu okha kuti mizereyo njosiyana!

Apa n’zoonekeratu kuti anthu amalolera kugwirizana ndi gulu basi, moti ambiri amasiya zomwe akudziŵadi kuti n’zoona. Achinyamata ambiri aona zimenezi zikuwachitikira. Mnyamata winawake wazaka 16, dzina lake Daniel anavomereza kuti: “Khalidwe la anzako lingakupunduledi. Ndipo ngati alipo ambiri, mutu umakukulira. Zimatheka ndithu kuyamba kuona ngati zimene akuchita ndizo zolondola.”

Angie, mtsikana amene tam’tchula kale uja anafotokoza zimene zimachitikadi kusukulu pamene anati: ‘Munthu ukakhala m’makalasi oyambirira a kusekondale, umaoneka kukhala wofunika pakati pa anzako chifukwa cha zovala zomwe umavala. Umafunika kuti uzivala zovala zam’fasho basi, zomwe zili zodula kwambiri. Palibe chifukwa chenicheni choti mpaka munthu n’kuwononga ndalama zambirimbiri pogula shati imodzi yokha, koma kodi ndi munthu wanzeru  uti amene angafune kuwononga ndalama zambiri chonchi?’ Mtsikanayu ananena kuti n’zovuta ndithu kuzindikira kuti khalidwe la anzanu layamba kukusokonezani. Koma kodi khalidwe la anzanu lingakusokonezeni pazochitika zikuluzikulu?

Kuopsa kwa Khalidwe la Anzathu

Tayerekezani kuti mukusambira m’nyanja. Ndiye muli m’kati mosambira choncho, pang’ono ndi pang’ono madzi akukukankhirani kwina musakuzindikira. Kenaka pamene mukutukula mutu wanu kuti muone cha kumtunda, abale anu kapena anzanu simukuwaonanso. Simunadziŵe n’komwe kuti madziwo akukankhirani patali kwambiri. Tikamachita zinthu zathu za tsiku n’tsiku zimakhalanso chimodzimodzi, maganizo ndiponso nzeru zathu zimakhala zikulimbana ndi zinthu zambiri. Zinthuzi, zimatiiwalitsa mfundo zomwe nthaŵi zonse sitinkaganizapo n’komwe kuti tingaziiwale.

Mwachitsanzo mtumwi Petro anali munthu wolimba kwabasi. Sanaope kugwiritsira ntchito lupanga chigulu cha anthu oopsa chitawapeza usiku uja umene Yesu anagwidwa. (Marko 14:​43-47; Yohane 18:10) Komabe patapita zaka zingapo, khalidwe la ena linam’pangitsa kuchita zinthu zoonekeratu kuti ndi tsankhu. Anakana kuyanjana ndi Akristu omwe anali amtundu wina, ngakhale kuti apa n’kuti ataonetsedwa kale ndi Kristu masomphenya omuuza kuti asaone ngati anthu amtundu wina anali odetsedwa. (Machitidwe 10:​10-15, 28, 29) Kudabwitsa kwake, Petro sanaope kulimbana ndi anthu a malupanga koma anaopa kunyozedwa ndi anthu ena! (Agalatiya 2:​11, 12) Kunena zoona, khalidwe la anzanu lingakhale loopsadi.

N’kofunika Kwambiri Kudziŵa Kuti Khalidwe la Anzanu Lingakusokonezeni

Zimene Petro anachita zingatiphunzitse kanthu kena kofunika kwambiri. Sikuti tikakhala olimba pa zochita zina ndiye kuti pa zina zonse tizikhalanso olimba ayi. Petro anali ndi mbali zina zimene ankalephera, monga mmene tonsefe timachitira. Kaya ndife munthu wotani maka, tiyenera kuzindikira mbali zimene timalephera. Ndi bwino kudzifunsa moona mtima kuti: ‘Kodi ndimalephera pati? Kodi ndimalakalaka n’tamakhala ndi moyo wapamwamba? Kodi zinthu zimene ndili nazo zimandipangitsa kukhala wonyada? Kodi ndimalolera kutani pofuna kuti anthu anditame, ndikhale ooneka m’maso mwa ena, kapenanso kuti nditchuke?’

Zikatere, mwina sitingachite dala zinthu zachabechabe posankha anzathu ocheza nawo omwe amagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala ozunguza bongo kapena okonda zachiwerewere. Nanga bwanji ngati mtima wathu umakhumba zinthu zinazake zosayenera? Ngati titasankha kumacheza kwambiri ndi anthu amene angatilimbikitse kumachita zimenezo, ndiye kuti tikuwaputa dala kuti atipundule, mwina mpaka kalekale.

Komabe nkhani yabwino ndi yakuti, sikuti makhalidwe onse a anzanu angakhale okusokonezani. Kodi tingathe kuchita zinthu zoti makhalidwe a anzathu asatisokoneze, koma kuti atipindulitse? Nanga tingalimbane bwanji ndi makhalidwe oipa a anzathu omwe angatisokoneze? Mafunsoŵa adzayankhidwa m’tsogolomu mu nkhani ina ya “Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . . ”

[Chithunzi pamasamba 30, 31]

Munthu ukamakhala pakati pa anthu okondetsa zinthu zapamwamba m’povuta kwambiri kuti usatengere khalidwe lawolo