Kupezerera Ena Zina mwa Zoyambitsa Zake ndi Zotsatirapo Zake

KODI n’chiyani chimachititsa mwana kuyamba kupezerera anzake ochepa mphamvu? Ngati munthu wina anayamba wakupezereranipo, mungafulumire kunena kuti, “Ndilibe nazo ntchito zimenezo! Chifukwa mulimonsemo palibe chingalungamitse khalidwe limeneli.” Mwinadi mukulondola. Komatu pali kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa kudziŵa chifukwa chake mwana amayamba khalidweli ndi kulungamitsa zochita zakezo. Zifukwa zimene zimachititsa mwana kupezerera anzake sizilungamitsa khalidwe lake loipalo, koma zingatithandize kumvetsetsa khalidwe lakelo. Ndipotu kuzindikira zimenezi kungakhale kothandiza kwambiri. Motani?

Mwambi wina wakale umanena kuti: “Kulingalira [“kuzindikira,” NW] kwa munthu kuchedwetsa mkwiyo.” (Miyambo 19:11) Kukwiya ndi khalidwe la mwana wopezerera anzake kungatilepheretse kuganiza bwino, ndipo tingangokhumudwa naye kapena kudana naye kumene. Koma kuzindikira bwino khalidwe lakelo kungatithandize kuchepetsa mkwiyo wathu. Izi zingachititse kuti tithe kuona zinthu bwinobwino pamene tikufunafuna njira zomuthandizira. Choncho tiyeni tione zinthu zina zimene zimachititsa munthu kukhala ndi khalidwe losafunika limeneli.

Kodi Chimayambitsa Khalidweli N’chiyani?

Nthaŵi zambiri ana amene amapezerera anzawo amakhala oti sanapatsidwe chitsanzo chabwino ndi makolo awo panthaŵi imene ankayamba kuzindikira zinthu kapenanso kuti anangowanyalanyaziratu. Ana ambiri otere amachokera m’mabanja amene makolo awo ngouma mtima kapena sakhudzidwa n’komwe n’zochita za ana awo kapenanso anaphunzitsa anawo kuthetsa mavuto mwaukali ndi mwachiwawa. Ana oleredwa m’mabanja otereŵa sangaone kuti akamalankhula mopweteketsa mtima kapena akamachita zamtopola amaopseza anzawo ochepa mphamvu; iwo angamaganize kuti khalidwe lawolo n’labwinobwino ndipo kuti anthu sadandaula nalo.

Mtsikana wina wa zaka 16 yemwe kunyumba bambo ake womupeza anali kumupezerera ndipo kusukulu anzake analinso kumupezerera anati nayenso anayamba kupezerera ena atafika mu sitandade seveni. Iye anavomereza kuti: “Mumtimamu munali kudzala ukali; ndinkayamba dala aliyense mosasamala kuti ndi ndani. N’zovuta zedi mtima ukamakupweteka moti umangofuna zithere pa wina.” Ngakhale kuti atsikana ambiri amene amapezerera anzawo sachita zachiwawa zoterezi, nawonso amakhala ndi mkwiyo wofananawo. *

M’masukulu ochuluka muli ana ambirimbiri ochokera m’mabanja osiyanasiyana, ndiponso oleredwa mosiyana kwambiri. N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti ana ena amachita zachiwawa chifukwa chakuti kwawo anawaphunzitsa kuti sangavutike kupeza zimene akufuna ngati aopseza ena ndiponso ngati alankhula mawu opweteka.

 Mwachisoni njira zimenezi zimagwira ntchito ndithu. Shelley Hymel, yemwe ndi wachiŵiri kwa woyang’anira maphunziro pa yunivesite ya British Columbia, ku Canada, wakhala akuphunzira zochita za ana kwa zaka makumi aŵiri. Iye anati: “Tili ndi ana amene amafunafuna njira yachidule yopezera zimene akufuna ndipo n’zachisoni kuti zimawayendera akamapezerera anzawo. Zimene akufunazo amazipeza; amaopedwa, amapatsidwa ulemu ndiponso amatchuka.”

Chinanso chimene chimachititsa khalidweli kufala kwambiri ndi chakuti ana sayang’aniridwa bwinobwino. Ambiri amene amapezereredwa amaona kuti palibe amene angamufotokozere, ndipo zodandaulitsa n’zakuti nthaŵi zambiri zimakhaladi choncho. Debra Pepler, yemwe ndi mkulu wa bungwe lofufuza njira zothetsera chiwawa ndi mikangano la LaMarsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution pa yunivesite ya York ku Toronto, anafufuza zimene amachita ophunzira pa sukulu ndipo anapeza kuti mwa zochitika 100 zilizonse za kupezerera ochepa mphamvu, aphunzitsi amazindikira ndi kuthetsa 4 zokha.

Komatu Dr. Pepler amakhulupirira kuti m’pofunika kuloŵererapo. Iwo anati: “Ana sangathe kuthetsa vutoli okha chifukwa limakhudza mphamvu zimene wina ali nazo, ndipo nthaŵi iliyonse imene wopezerera anzake amavutitsa wina, wopezererayo amaoneka wamphamvu zedi.”

Ndiye n’chifukwa chiyani zochitika zambiri za kupezerera ochepa mphamvu siziululidwa? N’chifukwa chakuti amene amapezereredwawo amakhala ndi maganizo akuti akaulula ndiye kuti vutolo likulirakulira. Motero zimachitika kuti nthaŵi imene achinyamata ambiri amakhala ali pasukulu amakhala moopa ndipo amaona kuti ndi osatetezedwa. Kodi kukhala kotereku kumabweretsa zotani?

Moyo Wawo Umasokonekera

Lipoti lina lomwe linatulutsa bungwe la National Association of School Psychologists ku United States linati tsiku lililonse ana oposa 160,000 amajomba kusukulu chifukwa choopa anzawo amene amawapezerera. Ana amene amapezereredwa angasiye kulankhula za sukulu kapena za phunziro linalake kusukuluko kapenanso zochitika zina za kusukulu. Iwo angamapite kusukulu mochedwa tsiku lililonse kapena angamajombe mwinanso angafike popereka zifukwa zawozawo kuti angosiyiratu sukulu.

Kodi ana amene amapezereredwa angadziŵike bwanji? Maganizo awo akhoza kukhala osakhazikika, angamakalipe msanga, angamakhale okhumudwa, kapena angamachite zinthu motopa ndi mwamanyazi. Angamachite zinthu mwaukali ndi anthu a panyumba pawo kapenanso anzawo. Ngakhale amene amangoonerera ena akupezereredwa nawonso amavutika. Zimawachititsa kukhala amantha motero satha kuphunzira bwinobwino.

Komabe magazini ya Pediatrics in Review inati: “Zotsatirapo zoipa kwambiri za khalidweli kwa amene amapezereredwa komanso anthu ena onse ndi zakuti lingachititse chiwawa, kuphatikizapo kudzipha ndi kupha ena. Ana amene amapezereredwa amavutika maganizo kwambiri akamaganiza kuti ndi opanda mphamvu, moti ena angachite zinthu zomwe angadzivulaze nazo kapena angaphe wina pobwezera.”

Dr. Ed Adlaf, yemwe amachita kafukufuku wasayansi komanso ndi pulofesa wa sayansi ya zaumoyo wa anthu pa yunivesite ya Toronto, anasonyeza kuda nkhaŵa mwa kunena kuti “amene amakhudzidwa ndi khalidweli angakhale ndi vuto lokhudza maganizo panopa ndiponso m’tsogolo.” M’chaka cha 2001, ana a sukulu oposa 225,000 a ku Ontario anafunsidwa za nkhaniyi, ndipo kunapezeka kuti ana a pakati pa 56,250 ndi 75,000 anali kukhudzidwa ndi khalidweli, kaya monga wovutitsidwa kapena wovutitsa. Mwa ana okhudzidwawo, mwana mmodzi mwa ana teni alionse anaganizapo kwambiri zodzipha.

Kumangopezereredwa nthaŵi zonse kungachititse munthu kusadzidalira, kungabweretse mavuto aakulu pa thanzi lake, ndipo kungawononge ngakhale ntchito yake. Anthu opezereredwawo angamavutike mutu, kulephera kugona, angakhale ndi nkhaŵa, komanso angamavutike maganizo. Ena amayamba kuchita mantha akangokumbukira zimene zinali kuchitikazo. Kuvutitsidwa m’njira zoti anthu ena angathe kuziona mosavuta kungachititse ambiri kumvera chisoni wovutitsidwayo, koma sizingakhale chomwechi pamene munthuyo akuvutitsidwa m’njira zongosokoneza maganizo. Zimene zikumuchitikira sizionekera poyera. Ndiye m’malo momumvera chisoni, mabwenzi ake ndi achibale ake angatope ndi zodandaula zake.

Khalidweli limawononganso anthu amene amapezerera anzawowo. Akapanda kusiya adakali ana, akakula amadzayamba kupezerera anzawo akuntchito. Ndipotu kafukufuku waonetsa kuti anthu amene anali kupezerera anzawo ali ana anadzakhala ndi makhalidwe ena amene sanawasiye mpaka kukula. Ambiri, kuposa amene sanali kupezerera anzawo, anapalamulapo milandu.

 Mmene Zimakhudzira Banja

Kupezerera ochepa mphamvu kuntchito kumasokoneza bata ndi mtendere wapabanja. Kungachititse wopezereredwayo kufuna kwambiri kuzunza okondedwa ake panyumba, zomwe a pabanjawo sangazimvetse. Ndiponso, zingachititse mkazi kapena mwamuna wa munthu wopezereredwayo, ngakhalenso wina aliyense m’banjamo, kulimbana ndi wopezerera anzakeyo ndipo pakutero iwo angakhalire kumbuyo wovutitsidwayo m’njira yolakwika. Mwinanso mkazi kapena mwamuna angamanene mnzake kuti mavutowo amachita kuwaputa. Nkhani zoterezi zikamangopitirira osathetsedwa, kwapezeka kuti ngakhale okwatirana amene amathandizana nzeru pa zinthu amalephera kupirira. Zaka zikamangopita vutoli lili chomwechi, banja lingathe kusweka.

Nthaŵi zina khalidweli lingachititse ntchito ya munthu kutha ndipo iye angasoŵe chithandizo, lingachititse okwatirana kupatukana ndi kusudzulana, kapenanso lingachititse munthu kudzipha. Pakati pa anthu 50 ndi 66 mwa anthu 100 alionse a ku Australia amene anzawo amawapezerera kuntchito anati, zimenezi zinawasokonezera mgwirizano wawo ndi anzawo apamtima, monga munthu amene analoŵana naye, mkazi kapena mwamuna wawo, mwinanso achibale awo.

Kupezerera Ena Kumawonongetsa Ndalama

Kupezerera anthu ochepa mphamvu kuntchito kumawonongetsanso ndalama za eni ntchitoyo. Kuntchito, munthu wa khalidweli akhoza kukhala bwana yemwe amalankhula mokhadzula kapena wogwira naye ntchito limodzi yemwe amakonzera anzake ziwembu, ndipo akhoza kukhala mkazi kapena mwamuna. Anthu oterowo amalamulira chilichonse, amafuna kuonetsetsa kuti kalikonse kakuchitika mosaphonyetsako, ndipo amatsitsa anzawo polankhula zowanyoza ndi kuwanena mosalekeza; kaŵirikaŵiri amachititsa manyazi anzawo pagulu. Anthu opezerera anzawo nthaŵi zambiri sazindikira kuti ngopanda ulemu ndipo sapepesa pa zimene amachitazo. Nthaŵi zambiri amavutitsa antchito odziŵa bwino ntchito yawo, okhulupirika, komanso omwe antchito anzawo amawakonda.

Antchito amene akuvutitsidwa sagwira ntchito ndi mtima wonse. Nawo antchito ena amene amaona anzawo akuvutitsidwa saikirapo mtima wonse pantchitoyo. Khalidweli lingachititse antchito kukhala osakhulupirika kwenikweni kwa owalemba ntchito ndiponso lingawachititse kugwira ntchitoyo mwaulesi. Lipoti lina linati kupezerera ena kumachititsa mafakitale a ku United Kingdom kuwononga ndalama pafupifupi madola mabiliyoni atatu pachaka. Ndipo ena amati khalidwe limeneli limachititsa anthu 30 mwa 100 alionse kudwala matenda okhudza maganizo.

N’zachionekere kuti kupezerera anthu ochepa mphamvu kumakhudza anthu padziko lonse. Ndiye funso n’lakuti, Kodi pali chilichonse chimene chingachitike kuletsa khalidweli ndi kulithetseratu?

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 15]

Amene nthaŵi zonse amapezereredwa angataye mtima ndipo angamakhale osungulumwa

[Chithunzi patsamba 15]

N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti kupezerera ena kuntchito n’kofala kwambiri