‘Kodi Chikuchitika N’chiyani M’thupi Mwangamu?’

“Tsiku linalake n’tadzuka m’maŵa, zonse zinakhala ngati zasinthiratu. Ndinamva ngati kuti ndine munthu wina ndipo thupi langali limamveka ngati si langa.”—Anatero Sam.

NTHAŴI imene wachinyamata akukula mwachidule tingati ndi nthaŵi imene munthu akuchoka ku umwana kupita ku uchikulire. Ndi nthaŵi imene mumasintha kwambiri. Thupi lanu, maganizo anu, ndiponso ngakhale kachezedwe kanu ndi anthu, zimasintha. Tinganene kuti m’mbali zina, kuyambika kwa unyamata ndi nthaŵi yosangalatsa kwambiri. Tikutero chifukwa zimatanthauza kuti posachedwapa mukhala munthu wachikulire. Komabe, pali zinthu zatsopano zimene mumayamba kumva panthaŵi ya moyo wanu imeneyi, ndipo zina mwa izo zikhoza kukhala zozunguza mutu, ngakhale zochititsa mantha kumene.

Komabe, simuyenera kuopa nthaŵi imene mukukula monga wachinyamata. N’zoona kuti panthaŵi imeneyi pamakhala zinthu zosautsa zosiyanasiyana. Koma mumakhalanso ndi mpata wabwino kwambiri woti muthe kusintha bwinobwino kukhala wachikulire. Tiyeni tione mmene mungachitire zimenezi, choyamba mwa kupenda mavuto ena amene achinyamata amene akukula amakumana nawo.

Kuyambika kwa Unamwali

Panthaŵi imene mukukula monga wachinyamata, thupi lanu limasintha pokonzekera kubereka. Kusintha kumeneku, kumene kumatchedwa unamwali, kumatenga zaka kuti kuthe, ndipo si ziwalo zanu zoberekera zokha zimene zimasintha, monga momwe tionere m’nkhani ino.

Atsikana nthaŵi zambiri amayamba unamwali pakati pa zaka 10 ndi 12, pamene anyamata ambiri amayamba pakati pa zaka 12 ndi 14. Koma sikuti aliyense amayamba unamwali ali ndi zaka zimenezi. Malinga ndi zimene limanena buku lotchedwa The New Teenage Body Book, “munthu aliyense ali ndi thupi losiyana  ndipo amakhala ndi dongosolo lakelake limene limalamulira nthaŵi imene zinthu zosiyanasiyana zimasintha m’thupi mwake pa unamwali.” Bukulo likupitiriza kuti: “Nthaŵi imene anthu amayamba unamwali imasiyanasiyana.” Choncho palibe cholakwika chilichonse ndi thupi lanu ngati muyamba unamwali anzanu asanayambe kapena atayamba kale.

Kaya wayamba nthaŵi yanji, unamwali ungakhudze mmene mumaonekera, mmene mumamvera, ndi mmene mumaonera zochitika zokuzungulirani. Taonani zochitika zina zochititsa chidwi komabe zovutitsa zimene zimachitika panthaŵi yapadera imeneyi ya moyo wanu.

‘Kodi Thupi Langali Latani?’

Unamwali umayamba ndi kuwonjezeka kwa timadzi ta m’thupi timene timafunika kuti atsikana ndi anyamata athe kubereka. Kusintha kwa timadzi ta m’thupi timeneti kumathandiza kuti thupi la wachinyamata lisinthe modabwitsa kwambiri. Ndipo mukayamba unamwali, thupi lanu limakula kwambiri kuposa panthaŵi ina iliyonse chiyambireni muli khanda.

Panthaŵi imeneyi ziwalo zanu zoberekera zimayamba kukhwima, koma imeneyi ndi mbali imodzi yokha ya kukula kwanu. Mukhozanso kutalika kwambiri panthaŵi yochepa. Pamene munali mwana mwina munkatalika masentimita asanu chaka chilichonse, koma sizingakhale zachilendo kuti muzitalika mwina masentimita khumi pa unamwali wanu.

Panthaŵi imene mukutalika kwambiri chonchi, nthaŵi zina mungamalephere kuwongolera thupi lanu bwinobwino. Umu ndi mmene zimakhalira. Kumbukirani kuti mbali zosiyana za thupi lanu zikhoza kumakula mosiyanasiyana. Zimenezi zingamakulepheretseni kuwongolera thupi lanu bwinobwino. Koma dekhani, sikuti moyo wanu wonse mudzangokhalira kulakwitsa zinthu ayi. Kulephera kuwongolera thupi lanu kumene kumachitika panthaŵi imene mukukula kudzatha.

Pa unamwali, atsikana amayamba kusamba, kutanthauza kuti mwezi uliwonse m’thupi mwawo mumatuluka magazi ndi zinthu zina zochokera m’kati mwa chiberekero. * Akamasamba nthaŵi zambiri amamvanso cham’mimba ndipo timadzi tinatake ta m’thupi mwawo timachepa. Chifukwa chakuti zimenezi zimakhudza thupi ndi maganizo anu, kuyamba kusamba kungakhale kodetsa nkhaŵa. “Mwadzidzidzi, zinthu zachilendo zimandichitikira ndipo sindimadziŵa chochita,” akukumbukira motero Teresa, amene tsopano ali ndi zaka 17. “Zinasokoneza maganizo anga, ndipo ndinkamva kuwawa. Ndipo zinkachitika mwezi uliwonse!”

Palibe chifukwa chochitira mantha mukayamba kusamba. Zimenezi zimangosonyeza kuti thupi lanu likugwira bwino ntchito. Pakapita nthaŵi, mudzaphunzira kuthana ndi zinthu zosasangalatsa zimene zimachitika mukamasamba. Mwachitsanzo, ena amaona kuti kuchita maseŵera olimbitsa thupi kumachepetsako cham’mimba. Koma anthu ndi osiyanasiyana. Mwina mungaone kuti muyenera kuchepetsa kugwira ntchito kapena kuthamangathamanga mukamasamba. Phunzirani “kugonjera” thupi lanu ndi kulichitira zimene likufuna.

Pa unamwali, atsikana ndi anyamata amayamba kuda nkhaŵa kwambiri ndi maonekedwe awo. “Nthaŵi imeneyi ndi imene ndinayamba kumaonetsetsa mmene anthu ena akundionera ndi kuda nkhaŵa ndi mmene ndimaonekera,” anaulula Teresa. “Ndipo ndimaona kuti sindisangalalabe ndi mmene ndimaonekera nthaŵi zambiri,” iye anapitiriza choncho. “Tsitsi langa silichita zimene ndikufuna kuti lichite, zovala zanga sizindikwana bwinobwino, ndipo zikuoneka kuti sindingathe n’komwe kupeza zovala zondisangalatsa!”

 Thupi lanu lingakukhumudwitseni m’njira zinanso. Mwachitsanzo, tiziwalo timene timatulutsa thukuta timagwira ntchito kwambiri pa unamwali, ndipo zimenezi zingakuchititseni kutuluka thukuta kwambiri. Kusamba nthaŵi zonse, komanso kuonetsetsa kuti zovala zanu n’zochapa ndi zosita bwino, kungakuthandizeni kupeŵa kutulutsa fungo loipa. Kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala onunkhiritsa thupi ndi oletsa thukuta kungakuthandizeninso.

Komanso, pa unamwali tiziwalo timene timatulutsa mafuta pakhungu lanu timagwira ntchito kwambiri, ndipo zimenezi zingakuchititseni ziphuphu. “Zikukhala ngati kuti nthaŵi iliyonse imene ndikufuna kuoneka bwino kwambiri, m’pamene chiphuphu chimandituluka,” anadandaula mtsikana wina dzina lake Ann. “Kodi ndi maganizo anga chabe, kapena ziphuphu zimadziŵa nthaŵi imene sizikufunika m’pang’onong’ono pomwe?” Teresa nayenso amavutika ndi ziphuphu. Iye anati: “Zimandichititsa kumva kuti ndine wonyansa ndipo ndimangoona ngati maso a anthu onse ali pa ine, chifukwa anthu akamandiyang’ana, ndimaganiza kuti akuyang’ana ziphuphu zangazo basi!”

N’zoona kuti anyamata angamavutikenso ndi ziphuphu. Ndipo akatswiri ena amanena kuti anyamata ndi amene ali osavuta kutuluka ziphuphu kuposa atsikana. Kaya ndinu mnyamata kapena mtsikana, zingakhale bwino mutamatsuka nthaŵi zonse mbali zimene zimatuluka mafuta kwambiri m’thupi mwanu, monga kumaso, m’khosi, m’mapewa, kumsana, ndi pachifuwa. Kuwonjezera apo, kutsuka tsitsi lanu nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi ndi sopo wotsukira tsitsi kungathandize kuti mafuta asamayenderere kufika pakhungu panu. Ndiponso pali mankhwala amene ntchito yake n’kuthetsa ziphuphu. “Makolo anga anandithandiza kupeza mankhwala otsukira pakhungu ndi mafuta opaka ziphuphu,” anatero Teresa. “Anandithandizanso kuti ndisamadye zakudya zonenepetsa kwambiri. Ngati sindikudya zakudya zonenepetsa kwambiri ndipo ndikumwa madzi ambiri, ziphuphu zanga nthaŵi zambiri zimatha.”

Kusintha kwina kwa thupi, kumene kumakhudza makamaka anyamata, n’kokhudza mawu anu. Timinofu tapakhosi panu totulutsira mawu mwachionekere tidzanenepa n’kutalika pa unamwali, ndipo zimenezi zidzachititsa kuti pang’ono ndi pang’ono muyambe kulankhula mawu a besi. Kwa Bill, zimenezi zinachitika popanda iye kuzindikira n’komwe. Iye anati: “Sindinazindikire kuti mawu anga asintha, koma ndinangoona kuti anthu asiya kuganiza kuti ndine mayi anga kapena mchemwali wanga ndikayankha foni.”

Nthaŵi zina mawu akamasintha amasokonekera, ndipo amasintha msangamsanga kuchoka pa mawu otsika kufika pa mawu okwera. Tyrone, poganizira za unyamata wake anati: “Zinali zochititsa manyazi kwambiri. Nthaŵi iliyonse imene ndikuchita mantha, kusangalala, kapena pamene ndapsa mtima, m’pamene zimenezi zinkachitika. Ndinkayesetsa kuti ndisatengeke mtima kwambiri, koma sizinkatheka.” Tyrone akupitiriza kuti: “Patatha chaka chimodzi, kapena mwina zinali zaka ziŵiri, zimenezi zinasiya kuchitika.” Ngati zimenezi zikukuchitikirani, musataye mtima! Nanunso mawu anu posachedwapa adzakhazikika ndipo azidzamveka mwatsopano, mwabesi.

‘N’chifukwa Chiyani Ndikumva Chonchi?’

Si zachilendo kuti achinyamata amene akukula azikhala ndi maganizo osiyanasiyana osasangalatsa. Mwachitsanzo, mungaone kuti simukugwirizananso kwambiri ndi anthu amene akhala anzanu apamtima kuyambira muli mwana. Sikuti munakangana nawo chilichonse ayi. Koma mwina mwayamba kukonda zinthu zosiyana tsopano. Ngakhale makolo anu, amene kale simunkachedwa kuwalankhula mukafuna munthu wokutonthozani ndi kukutetezani, mwadzidzidzi angaoneke achikale ndi osachezeka.

Zonsezi zingachititse wachinyamata kumva kuti alibe wocheza naye. Buku lina limati: “Ochita kafukufuku ena anena kuti munthu amakhala wosungulumwa pafupipafupi ndiponso wosungulumwa kwambiri akakhala wachinyamata amene akukula kuposa akakhala  mwana kapena wachikulire.” Poopa kuti ena angakuoneni ngati mukuchita zinthu zachilendo, mukhoza kungokhala osauza aliyense zimene mukuganiza ndiponso mmene mukumvera. Kapena mwina mukuopa kucheza ndi anthu ena poopa kuti palibe aliyense amene angafune kuti mukhale mnzake.

Achinyamata ambiri amene akukula nthaŵi zina amakhala osungulumwa, ndipo achikulire ambiri amachitanso chimodzimodzi. Chinthu chofunika kwambiri kukumbukira n’chakuti pakapita nthaŵi, kusungulumwako kudzatha. * Kumbukirani kuti, chifukwa chakuti ndinu wachinyamata ndipo mukukula, pafupifupi chilichonse pamoyo wanu chikusintha. Mmene mumaonera moyo, anthu ena, ngakhale mmene mumadzionera inu mwini, zimasinthasintha nthaŵi zonse. Indedi, nthaŵi zina mukadziyang’ana pagalasi mungaone ngati munthu amene mukumuonayo simukumudziŵa n’komwe! Mungamve ngati mmene anamvera Steve, wa zaka 17, amene anavomereza kuti: “N’zovuta kunena kuti mumadzidziŵa pamene mukusintha msangamsanga choncho.”

Njira imodzi yabwino kwambiri yothetsera kusungulumwa ndiyo kuthandiza ena. Zimenezi zingatanthauze kudziŵana ndi anthu amene si a msinkhu wanu. Kodi mukudziŵapo anthu achikulire alionse amene angasangalale mutakawachezera? Kodi mungawagwirire ntchito zina ndi zina, makamaka ngati akufunikira thandizo? Baibulo limalimbikitsa onse, achinyamata ndi achikulire, kuti ‘akule’ posonyeza chikondi kwa ena. (2 Akorinto 6:11-13) Kuchita zimenezi kungakutsegulireni mipata yochititsa chidwi kwambiri.

Lemba la m’Baibulo limene lili pamwambali ndi limodzi lokha mwa mfundo zambiri zimene zathandiza achinyamata achikristu kuthana ndi mavuto amene amakumana nawo akamakula. Poŵerenga nkhani yotsatirayi, ganizirani mmene Mawu a Mulungu angakhudzire kwambiri moyo wanu pamene mukukula kusanduka munthu wachikulire.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 6]

Makolo Sadziŵa Zonse

“Ndili mwana, ndinkaganiza kuti makolo anga amadziŵa zonse. Koma nditasanduka wachinyamata, ndinganene kuti anayamba kuoneka kuti alibe nzeru kwambiri ngati mmene ndinkaganizira. Ndikutanthauza kuti ndinazindikira kuti makolo anga sadziŵa zonse, ndipo zimenezi zinandikhumudwitsa. Tsoka n’lakuti, kuzindikira zimenezi kunandichititsa kuti ndizikayikira maganizo awo ndi kaonedwe kawo ka zinthu. Koma chifukwa cha zinthu zopweteka zimene ndakumana nazo, ndayambiranso kuwalemekeza kwambiri. N’zoona sadziŵa zonse, koma nthaŵi zambiri amakhala olondola. Ndipo ngakhale asalondole, ndi makolo angabe. Pang’ono ndi pang’ono tayamba kukhala ngati munthu ndi mnzake, ndipo ndikuganiza kuti zimenezi n’zimene zimachitikira ana ndi makolo awo.”—Teresa, wa zaka 17.

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Achinyamata ambiri apalana ubwenzi wabwino kwambiri ndi anthu achikulire