Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingatani Kuti Chibwenzi Changa Chisiye Kundizunza?

“Lero ndi tsiku loyamba chibwenzi changa kundimenya. Chinapepesa, koma sindikudziŵa chochita tsopano.”—Anatero Stella. *

“PAFUPIFUPI mtsikana wa sukulu mmodzi mwa atsikana 5 alionse ananena kuti anamenyedwapo kapena kukakamizidwa kugonana ndi chibwenzi chake,” inatero nkhani ina mu magazini yotchedwa The Journal of the American Medical Association. M’kafukufuku amene anachitika ku Germany pakati pa achinyamata a zaka zapakati pa 17 ndi 20, atsikana opitirira mmodzi mwa atsikana anayi alionse ananena kuti amuna anawakakamizapo kugona nawo mwa kuwamenya, kuwakakamiza ndi mawu owaopseza kapena owanyengerera, kuwapatsa mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kapena kuwapatsa moŵa. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina wa ku United States, achinyamata 40 mwa achinyamata 100 alionse amene anafunsidwa mafunso anati anaonapo anthu a m’kalasi mwawo “akunyoza chibwenzi chawo mwa kuchilankhula mawu opweteka kwambiri.” *

Kodi ndinu wachinyamata ndipo muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene amakutukwanani kapena kukulankhulani mokuwa akapsa mtima, kukunyozani, kukukankhani mwamphamvu, kapenanso kukumenyani mbama? Magazini ya m’mbuyo yokamba za nkhani imeneyi inasonyeza kuti khalidwe loipa loterolo n’lofala modetsa nkhaŵa. * Inasonyezanso kuti Yehova Mulungu sakondwera ndi mawu opweteka kapena khalidwe lozunza ndipo anthu amene akuzunzidwa m’njira yotereyi sayenera kuona khalidwe loterolo ngati labwinobwino kapena ngati kuti iwowo ndi amene amachititsa kuti azizunzidwa motero. (Aefeso 4:31) Ngakhale zili choncho, kudziŵa chochita zinthu zikakhala choncho n’kovuta. Mukhoza kukhala mukuchikondabe kwambiri chibwenzi chanucho, ngakhale kuti chili ndi khalidwe lozunza loterolo. Kapena mungaope zimene angachite mukamudzudzula. Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani?

Pendani Mmene Zinthu Zilili

Choyamba muyenera kukhazika mtima pansi n’kuganizira mofatsa zimene zachitikazo. (Mlaliki 2:14) Kodi n’zoonadi kuti amakulankhulani mawu opweteka? Kodi chibwenzi chanucho chimachitira dala nkhanza kapena chimangolankhula “mwansontho”? (Miyambo 12:18) Kodi zimenezi zachitika kangati? Kodi anangolakwitsa kamodzi kokha moti mukhoza kungoziiwala? Kapena kodi wayamba chizoloŵezi chomakunyozani kapena kukutukwanani?

Ngati mukukayikira penapake za nkhani imeneyi, lankhulani ndi munthu wina, osati wa msinkhu wanu koma winawake wachikulire ndiponso wanzeru. Mwina mungalankhule ndi makolo anu kapena  ndi Mkristu mnzanu wokhwima maganizo. Kukambirana koteroko kungakuthandizeni kudziŵa ngati mukuganiza molakwika kapena ngati palidi vuto lalikulu.

Ngati mukuona kuti palibe choopsa chilichonse, konzani zoti mulankhule ndi chibwenzi chanucho za nkhani imeneyi. (Miyambo 25:9) Muuzeni mwachifatse mmene khalidwe lakelo limakukhudzirani. Mumuuze zifukwa zenizeni zimene simunasangalalire ndi zochita zakezo. Muuzeni momveka bwino zinthu zimene simungalole kuchita kapena simungalole kuti iyeyo achite. Kodi akuchita chiyani mutamuuza zimenezi? Kodi akuona maganizo anuwo ngati opanda ntchito kapena akuyambanso kulankhula mopsa mtima? Ngati akuchita zimenezi, n’chizindikiro choonekeratu choti sakufuna kusintha.

Nanga bwanji ngati akusonyeza kuti zamukhudza mogwirizana ndi mfundo za Mulungu ndipo akupepesa kuchokeradi pansi pa mtima? Ndiye kuti mwina zingatheke chibwenzicho kuyambiranso kuyenda bwino. Koma samalani! Anthu okonda kulankhula mawu opweteka nthaŵi zambiri amapepesa kwambiri akakhumudwitsa munthu wina, koma amadzalankhula mawu opwetekawo ulendo wina akadzapsanso mtima. Kupita kwa nthaŵi n’kumene kudzasonyeze ngati akufunadi kusintha kuchokera pansi pa mtima. Ngati akufuna kuthandizidwa ndi akulu achikristu, chimenechi n’chizindikiro chabwino choti akufunitsitsadi kusintha.—Yakobo 5:14-16.

Zindikirani kuti “onse anachimwa, napereŵera pa ulemerero wa Mulungu.” (Aroma 3:23) Simudzapeza munthu wangwiro kulikonse. Anthu onse amene ali pabanja adzakumana ndi “chisautso m’thupi” cha mtundu winawake chifukwa cha kupanda ungwiro. (1 Akorinto 7:28) Pomaliza pake, muyenera kuona ngati inuyo mungathe kupirira zolakwa zakezo n’kukhala naye bwinobwino. Pamenepanso, kulola kuti nthaŵi ipite ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yodziŵira zimenezi.

Akamakumenyani

Koma ngati mawu opwetekawo amaphatikizana ndi kutukwana mwaukali kapena kukuopsezani kuti akumenyani, kapena ngati wayamba kukuchitirani zinthu zachiwawa, mwina kukukankhani mwamphamvu kapena kukumenyani mbama, imeneyo ndi nkhani ina. Zimenezi zimasonyeza kuti munthu alibiretu khalidwe lodziletsa ndipo zinthu zikhoza kufika poipa moti akhoza kukuvulazani.

N’chinthu chanzeru kuti anthu osakwatirana asamakhale okhaokha. Koma ngati mupezeka kuti muli nokha ndi mwamuna amene akuchita zachiwawa, “musabwezere . . . choipa chosinthana ndi choipa.” (Aroma 12:17) Kumbukirani kuti: “Mayankhidwe ofatsa abweza mkwiyo; koma mawu owawitsa aputa msunamo.” (Miyambo 15:1) Khazikani mtima pansi. Muuzeni kuti mukufuna muzipita. Ngati m’pofunika kutero, chokanipo, kapena thaŵani!

Bwanji ngati mwamuna ayesera kukakamiza mkazi kuti agone naye? Mfundo n’njakuti, ndi bwino kuti anthu amene ali pachibwenzi agwirizane pachiyambi penipeni kuti sazisonyezana chikondi m’njira zakutizakuti. (1 Atesalonika 4:3-5) Ngati mnyamata akakamiza mtsikana kuti aphwanye mfundo za makhalidwe abwino za m’Baibulo, mtsikanayo ayenera kunena mosapita m’mbali kuti salola. (Genesis 39:7-13) “Musalole,” anachonderera motero Anne, amene analola kugona ndi mwamuna atamukakamiza. “Musadzichotsere ulemu. Musalole kuti akuchititseni zinthu zolakwa zimenezi, kaya mumamukonda bwanji!” Ngati sakumva kukana kwanuko, muuzeni kuti akapitiriza muona ngati akufuna kukugwirirani. Ngati sakusiyabe, itanani anthu kuti adzakuthandizeni ndipo yesetsani kulimbana naye monga momwe mungachitire ndi munthu aliyense amene akufuna kukugwirirani. *

Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, malangizo a m’Baibulo opezeka pa Miyambo 22:24 ndi othandiza, pamene pamati: “Usayanjane ndi munthu wokwiya msanga; ngakhale kupita ndi mwamuna waukali.” Palibe chifukwa chilichonse choti mukhalirebe pachibwenzi ndi munthu  wozunza. Mwachidziŵikire, sichingakhale chinthu chanzeru kupita nokhanokha kukakumana ndi mwamuna wozunza kukamuuza kuti mwathetsa chibwenzi. Koma pamenepa chinthu chabwino kwambiri chimene mungachite ndicho kuuza makolo anu zimene zachitika. N’zachidziŵikire kuti adzakwiya akamva kuti mwazunzidwa choncho. Koma angakuthandizeni kudziŵa zimene muyenera kuchita tsopano. *

Kuyesera Kumusintha

Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, si udindo wanu kusintha chibwenzi chanucho. Irena anavomereza kuti: “Munthu umaganiza kuti umamukonda, kuti zinthu zikhala bwino, ndiponso kuti ungathe kumuthandiza. Koma sungathe.” Nadine nayenso anavomereza kuti: “Ndimaganiza kuti ndingathe kumusintha.” Koma zoona zake n’zakuti ndi iyeyo basi amene ‘angakonzenso mtima wake’ kuti asinthe. (Aroma 12:2) Ndipo kuchita zimenezo kumatenga nthaŵi yaitali ndiponso n’kovuta kwambiri.

Choncho musasinthe maganizo anu, ndipo musamamvere akamakunyengererani. Yesetsani kuti musamamuganizirenso ndipo musamaonane nayenso. Musalole kuti akunyengerereni, kukuchondererani, kapena kukuopsezani kuti mubwereranenso. Irena atathetsa chibwenzi ndi mnyamata amene ankamumenya, mnyamatayo ananena kuti adzipha. N’zachidziŵikire kuti munthu woteroyo ndi wofunika thandizo koma inuyo si amene mungamuthandize. Mumamuthandiza bwino kwambiri mwa kudana ndi khalidwe lake losemphana ndi mfundo zachikristu. Ngati akufuna kusintha, angathe kupeza anthu oti amuthandize.

Komabe, anthu ena amaganiza kuti ukwati udzathetsa vuto limeneli. Wochita kafukufuku wina anati: “Akazi amene amakwatiwa ndi zibwenzi zozunza ndiponso amuna amene amakwatira zibwenzi zozunza nthaŵi zambiri amadabwa poona kuti kuzunzako kukupitirirabe. Anthu ambiri amakhulupirira bodza lakuti mukangokwatirana, basi mavuto onsewo adzatha. Musakhulupirire bodza limeneli.” Zoona zake n’zakuti, kuzunza kumene kumayamba muli pachibwenzi mosakayikira kudzapitirira mukadzakwatirana.

“Wochenjera aona zoipa, nabisala,” limatero Baibulo. (Miyambo 22:3) Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda n’kovuta. Koma kukhala pabanja ndi munthu wozunza n’koŵaŵa kuposa kuthetsa chibwenzicho. Ndipo simuyenera kuopa kuti mwina simudzapeza chibwenzi china chabwino. Pogwiritsa ntchito nzeru zimene mwapezazo, mudzayesetsa koposa kale kufunafuna munthu wodekha, wokoma mtima, ndi wodziletsa.

Kuthetsa Maganizo

Kulankhulidwa mawu opweteka kapena kumenyedwa kungakhale koŵaŵa kwambiri. Munthu wina amene anazunzidwapo dzina lake Mary anati: “Musachedwe, uzani ena kuti akuthandizeni. Ndinkaganiza kuti ndingathe kuthana nazo ndekha, koma kulankhula ndi anthu ena kwandithandiza.” Lankhulani ndi makolo anu, mnzanu wokhwima maganizo amene mumamukhulupirira, kapena mkulu wachikristu. *

Ena aonanso kuti kukhala otanganidwa ndi zinthu monga kuŵerenga mabuku abwino, kuchita nawo maseŵera ena ake, kapena kuchita zinthu zimene amakonda kuchita akakhala paokha, kumathandiza. Irena akukumbukira kuti: “Kuphunzira Baibulo ndiponso kupita ku misonkhano yachikristu kunandithandiza kwambiri.”

N’zachionekere kuti Yehova sagwirizana ndi kulankhula mawu opweteka kapena kuzunza munthu wina. Ndi thandizo lake, mungadziteteze kuti musazunzidwe.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 22]

Akamakuzunzani muli pachibwenzi mosakayikira adzapitiriza mukadzakwatirana

[Chithunzi patsamba 23]

Asakukakamizeni kumusonyeza chikondi m’njira zosayenera