Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Pali Cholakwika Kugonana Tisanakwatirane?

“Nthaŵi zina ndimadzifunsa ngati kugonana anthu asanakwatirane kulidi kolakwa, makamaka ndikamadzinyumwa chifukwa choti sindinagonepo ndi mtsikana mpaka pano.”—Anatero Jordon. *

“Ndimamva kuti ndiyenera kugonako ndi mwamuna. Ndikuganiza kuti tonsefe tinabadwa choncho,” anatero Kelly. Iye anapitiriza kuti: “Kulikonse kumene ungapiteko, nkhani ndi ya kugonana basi!”

KODI nanunso mumamva ngati mmene amamvera Jordon ndi Kelly? Sizingakhale zachilendo mutamva choncho, chifukwa miyambo ndi makhalidwe abwino akale amene ankaletsa anthu kugonana asanakwatirane panopa atsala pang’ono kutheratu. (Ahebri 13:4) Kafukufuku amene anachitika m’dziko linalake la ku Asia anasonyeza kuti ambiri mwa anyamata a zaka zapakati pa 15 ndi 24 ankaona kuti kugonana anthu asanakwatirane n’kololeka ndiponso ankaona kuti amayembekezereka kugonana ndi atsikana. Choncho n’zosadabwitsa kuti padziko lonse lapansi achinyamata ambiri amakhala atagonanapo ndi munthu wina akamafika zaka 19.

Ndiyeno pali achinyamata ena amene amapeŵa kugonana kwenikweni koma amachita zimene amaziona kuti n’zosiyana ndi kugonana kwenikweni monga kuseŵeretsana kumaliseche. Nkhani inayake yoziziritsa nkhongono imene inatuluka m’nyuzipepala ya The New York Times inati: “Kugonana m’kamwa kwasanduka njira imene achinyamata ambiri amayambira kugonana ndipo amaganiza kuti kuchita zimenezi sikugonana, ndiponso amaganiza kuti sikubweretsa mavuto ambiri monga mmene kugonana kwenikweni kumachitira . . . [ndipo] amaona ngati ndi njira yabwino yopeŵera kutenga mimba ndiponso yoti munthu akhalebe namwali.”

Choncho, kodi kugonana anthu asanakwatirane Mkristu ayenera kukuona bwanji? Nanga bwanji zinthu zimene amati si kugonana kwenikweni? Kodi n’zololeka kwa Mulungu? Kodi sizibweretsa mavuto alionse? Ndipo kodi n’zoonadi kuti munthu akamachita zimenezi amakhalabe namwali?

Zimene Dama Limaphatikizapo

Yankho lodalirika la mafunso ameneŵa lingachokere kwa Mlengi wathu basi, Yehova Mulungu. Ndipo m’Mawu ake amatiuza kuti: “Thaŵani dama.” (1 Akorinto 6:18) Kodi zimenezo zikutanthauza chiyani makamaka? Liwu lachigiriki limene analimasulira kuti “dama” silimangotanthauza kugonana kwenikweni kokha koma limatanthauzanso kuchita zinthu zina zosiyanasiyana zonyansa zokhudzana ndi kugonana. Choncho ngati anthu aŵiri osakwatirana akugonana m’kamwa kapena kuseŵeretsana kumaliseche, ndiye kuti akuchita dama.

Koma kodi tingati akadali anamwali pamaso pa Mulungu? M’Baibulo, liwu limene analimasulira kuti “namwali” limaimira makhalidwe oyera. (2 Akorinto 11:2-6) Koma amaligwiritsanso ntchito kutanthauza namwali weniweni. M’Baibulo muli nkhani ya mtsikana wotchedwa Rebeka. Nkhaniyo imati Rebeka anali “namwali wosam’dziŵa mwamuna.” (Genesis 24:16) N’zochititsa chidwi kuti m’Chihebri choyambirira, liwu limene analimasulira kuti ‘kudziŵa mwamuna’ zikuoneka kuti linaphatikizapo zinthu zina osati kugonana  kwenikweni kokha kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi. (Genesis 19:5) Choncho, malinga ndi zimene Baibulo limanena, wachinyamata akachita dama la mtundu wina uliwonse, sangakhalenso namwali.

Baibulo limalimbikitsa Akristu, osati kuti athaŵe dama lokha basi, komanso kuti athaŵe khalidwe lililonse loipa limene lingawachititse dama. * (Akolose 3:5) Ena angakusekeni chifukwa chotsatira mfundo zimenezi. Mkristu wina wachitsikana dzina lake Kelly anati: “Nthaŵi yonse imene ndinali kusekondale, anzanga ankangokhalira kundiuza kuti ‘ukumanidwa zabwino!’” Koma kugonana anthu asanakwatirane kumatanthauza ‘kusangalala ndi zokondweretsa za uchimo kwa nthawi yochepa’ basi. (Ahebri 11:25, Chipangano Chatsopano mu Chichewa cha Lero) Kungawononge thanzi lanu, maganizo anu, ndi moyo wanu wauzimu mpaka kalekale.

Kuopsa Kwake

Baibulo limatiuza kuti nthaŵi ina yake Mfumu Solomo anaona mnyamata winawake wosakwatira akunyengereredwa ndi mtsikana kuti agonane naye. Solomo anayerekezera mnyamata ameneyo ndi ‘ng’ombe yopita kukaphedwa.’ Ng’ombe imene yatsala pang’ono kuphedwa imaoneka ngati sikudziŵa n’komwe zimene zatsala pang’ono kuichitikira. Achinyamata amene amagonana asanakwatirane amachita zinthu mofanana ndi ng’ombe imeneyo. Amakhala ngati sakudziŵa n’komwe kuti zimene akuchitazo zili ndi zotsatira zake zoopsa kwambiri! Ponena za mnyamata uja, Solomo anati: ‘Sadziŵa kuti adzawononga moyo wake.’ (Miyambo 7:22, 23) Zoonadi, moyo wanu uli pangozi.

Mwachitsanzo, chaka chilichonse, achinyamata mamiliyoni ambiri amatenga matenda opatsirana pogonana. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Lydia anati: “Nditazindikira kuti ndatenga nthenda yotuluka zilonda kumaliseche, ndinafuna kuthaŵira kwinakwake.” Iye anadandaula kuti, “Ndi nthenda yopweteka kwambiri imene sidzatha.” Anthu opitirira theka la anthu onse amene amatenga kachilombo ka HIV padziko lonse lapansi (anthu 6,000 pa tsiku), amakhala anthu a zaka zapakati pa 15 ndi 24.

Atsikana makamaka ndi amene amakhala ndi mavuto ambiri akagonana ndi mwamuna asanakwatiwe. Ndipo atsikana ndi amene ali pangozi yaikulu yotenga matenda opatsirana pogonana (kuphatikizapo HIV) kuposa anyamata. Mtsikana akatenga mimba, amaika moyo wake komanso moyo wa mwana wosabadwayo pangozi ina. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa chakuti thupi la mtsikana wamng’ono likhoza kukhala losakhwima mokwanira bwino kuti athe kubereka mwana bwinobwino.

Ngakhale mtsikana amene wabereka mwana akadali wamng’ono apeŵe mavuto okhudza thanzi lake, ayenerabe kulimbana ndi udindo waukulu umene kholo  limakhala nawo. Atsikana ambiri amadzazindikira kuti kudzipezera zosowa pamoyo wawo ndiponso kusamalira mwana wakhanda n’kovuta kwambiri kuposa mmene ankaganizira.

Ndiyeno pali mavuto ena amene amabwera okhudza moyo wanu wauzimu ndi maganizo anu. Tchimo la Mfumu Davide la kugonana linaika pangozi ubwenzi wake ndi Mulungu ndipo linatsala pang’ono kuwononga moyo wake wauzimu. (Salmo 51) Ndipo ngakhale kuti Davide anadzakhalanso wolimba mwauzimu, anavutikabe ndi zotsatira za tchimo lakelo moyo wake wonse.

Achinyamata masiku ano angavutikenso chimodzimodzi. Mwachitsanzo, Cherie ali ndi zaka 17 zokha anagonana ndi mnyamata winawake. Ankaganiza kuti mnyamatayo anali kumukonda. Panopa, ngakhale kuti padutsa zaka zambiri, amadandaulabe ndi zimene anachitazo. Iye anadandaula kuti: “Ndinkaona ngati zinthu zoona zimene zili m’Baibulo n’zopanda phindu koma pamapeto pake ndinakhaula. Yehova anasiya kundiyanja, ndipo zimenezo zinali zopweteka kwambiri.” Mtsikana wina dzina lake Trish nayenso anavomereza kuti: “Kugonana ndi mnyamata ndisanakwatiwe ndiye cholakwa chachikulu chimene ndinachita pamoyo wanga. Zikanakhala kuti n’zotheka, n’kanalolera kuchita chilichonse kuti ndikhalenso namwali.” Indedi, munthu akhoza kukhala akuvutika maganizo kwa zaka zambiri, zimene zingamuchititse kuti azingokhala wosasangalala.

Phunzirani Kudziletsa

Mtsikana wotchedwa Shanda anafunsa funso labwino kwambiri. Iye anati: “N’chifukwa chiyani Mulungu anapatsa achinyamata chilakolako chogonana pamene akudziŵa kuti iwo sayenera kugonana mpaka atakwatira?” N’zoona kuti chilakolako chogonana chingakhale chachikulu kwambiri makamaka pa nthaŵi ya “unamwali.” (1 Akorinto 7:36) Ndipo nthaŵi zina achinyamata angamafune kugonana ndi munthu wina mwadzidzidzi popanda chifukwa chilichonse. Koma zimenezi si zolakwa. Ndi mmene zinthu zimakhalira ziwalo zanu zoberekera zikamakhwima. *

N’zoonanso kuti Yehova anakonza kuti kugonana kuzikhala kosangalatsa. Zimenezi zinali zogwirizana ndi cholinga chake choti anthu adzaze dziko lapansi. (Genesis 1:28) Komabe, Mulungu sanafune kuti tizigwiritsa ntchito molakwika mphamvu zathu zoberekera. Baibulo limati: “Yense wa inu adziŵe kukhala nacho chotengera chake m’chiyeretso ndi ulemu.” (1 Atesalonika 4:4) Kugonana ndi munthu wina nthaŵi iliyonse imene mwamva chilakolako tingati kungakhale kupusa kofanana ndi kumenya munthu nthaŵi iliyonse imene mwapsa mtima.

Kugonana ndi mphatso yochokera kwa Mulungu imene anthu ayenera kusangalala nayo pa nthaŵi yoyenera—akakwatirana. Kodi Mulungu amamva bwanji tikamafuna kusangalala ndi kugonana tisanakwatire? Tayerekezerani kuti mwagula mphatso yoti mukapatse mnzanu. Musanam’patse, mnzanuyo akuba mphatsoyo! Kodi simungakhale wokwiya? Ndiyeno taganizirani mmene Mulungu amamvera munthu akagonana ndi munthu wina asanakwatire, kugwiritsa ntchito molakwika mphatso imene Mulungu watipatsa.

Kodi muyenera kutani mukamakhala ndi chilakolako chofuna kugonana? Mwachidule, muyenera kuphunzira kudziletsa. Muzikumbukira kuti “Yehova . . . sadzakaniza chokoma iwo akuyenda angwiro.” (Salmo 84:11) Mnyamata wina dzina lake Gordon anati: “Ndikaona kuti ndayamba kuganiza kuti mwina kugonana ndi mtsikana ndisanakwatire sikulakwa kwenikweni, ndimaganizira za zotsatirapo zake zoipa zauzimu ndipo ndimazindikira kuti sindingalole tchimo lililonse kuwononga ubwenzi wanga ndi Yehova.” Nthaŵi zina zingakhale zovuta kudziletsa. Koma mogwirizana ndi zimene mnyamata wotchedwa Adrian akutikumbutsa, “kudziletsa kumatichititsa kuti tikhale ndi chikumbumtima choyera ndi ubwenzi wabwino ndi Yehova, kuti maganizo athu onse azikhala pa zinthu zofunika kwambiri m’malo momamva chisoni kapena kudziimba mlandu chifukwa cha zimene tinachita m’mbuyomu.”—Salmo 16:11.

Pali zifukwa zabwino zambiri zoti “mudzipatule kudama” la mtundu uliwonse. (1 Atesalonika 4:3) Koma n’zoona kuti kuchita zimenezi si kophweka. Nkhani yam’tsogolo idzafotokoza zimene mungachite kuti ‘mudzisunge nokha oyera mtima.’—1 Timoteo 5:22.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 13]

Wachinyamata akachita dama la mtundu wina uliwonse, kodi angakhalebe namwali pamaso pa Mulungu?

[Chithunzi patsamba 13]

Wachinyamata woopa Mulungu akagonana ndi munthu wina asanakwatire chikumbumtima chake chikhoza kuwonongeka

[Chithunzi patsamba 14]

Anthu amene amagonana asanakwatirane akhoza kutenga matenda opatsirana pogonana