Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingatani Kuti Ndipewe Kugonana Ndisanaloŵe M’banja?

“Ndili ndi zaka 19, ndinagonana ndi mnyamata wina wa kusukulu kwathu. Pamapeto pake ndinanyansidwa nazo kwambiri ndipo ndinamva ngati ndine wopanda ntchito.”—Anatero Laci. *

“THAŴANI dama,” limatero Baibulo. (1 Akorinto 6:18) Koma masiku ano ndi achinyamata ochepa okha amene amafuna kumvera mawu a m’Baibulo amenewo ndi kupeŵa kugonana mpaka ataloŵa m’banja. Ena, monga Laci, agonjera zilakolako zawo ndipo avutika mtima kwambiri ndiponso chikumbumtima chawo chimawapweteka.

Koma zoona zake n’zoti si zophweka kugonjetsa chilakolako chogonana. Monga momwe buku lotchedwa Adolescent Development limanenera, kuchuluka kwa timadzi tinatake m’thupi pa unamwali kumachititsa kuti “chilakolako chogonana chikule.” Paul anavomereza kuti: “Nthaŵi zina m’mutu mwanga mumabwera maganizo okhudza kugonana popanda chifukwa chilichonse.”

Komabe, pulofesa wa matenda a ana dzina lake Howard Kulin anati: “N’kulakwa kunena kuti khalidwe limene [achinyamata] amasonyeza limachitika chifukwa cha timadzi ta m’thupi tokha basi.” Iye anafotokoza kuti anthu amene timacheza nawo amakhudzanso khalidwe lathu. Indedi, anthu amene munthu amacheza nawo, makamaka a msinkhu wake, angamukhudze kwambiri.

M’buku lake lotchedwa A Tribe Apart, mlembi wina dzina lake Patricia Hersch anati “achinyamata apanga timagulu tawo . . . Ndipo pokhala topanda [achikulire], timagulu timeneto timakhala ndi mfundo zake, makhalidwe ake, ndi malamulo ake.” Komabe, “makhalidwe” ndi “malamulo” a achinyamata ambiri masiku ano amalimbikitsa kugonjera chilakolako chogonana, osati kudziletsa. Choncho ambiri angamaone ngati ayenera kulawa kugonana asanaloŵe m’banja.

Ngakhale zili choncho, Akristu achinyamata mwanzeru amapeŵa dama la mtundu uliwonse, podziŵa kuti Mulungu amadana nalo chifukwa ndi limodzi mwa “ntchito za thupi.” * (Agalatiya 5:19) Choncho kodi mungakhale bwanji munthu wodzisunga polimbana ndi zopinga zazikulu zoterozo?

Sankhani Mabwenzi Anzeru

N’zochititsa chidwi kuti ngakhale kuti anthu ocheza nawo angathe kukupwetekani, mabwenzi abwino angathe kukuthandizani. Zikugwirizana ndi zimene Baibulo linanena, zoti: “Ukayenda ndi anzeru udzakhala wanzeru.” (Miyambo 13:20; 1 Akorinto 15:33) Lipoti lochokera ku bungwe la World Health  Organization (WHO) linati “achinyamata amene ali ndi ubwenzi wabwino ndi makolo awo, anthu ena achikulire amene amawafunira zabwino, ndi anzawo” ndiponso amene “amawaikira malire a zimene angathe kuchita . . . nthaŵi zambiri sangayambitse zogonana.”

Kukhala ndi ubwenzi wabwino ndi makolo anu kungakhale kothandiza kwambiri. Joseph akukumbukira kuti: “Makolo anga anandithandiza kwambiri kulimbana ndi chiyeso chofuna kulawa kugonana.” Zoonadi, makolo oopa Mulungu angakupatseni malire a zimene mungathe kuchita, ogwirizana ndi zimene zili m’Mawu a Mulungu. (Aefeso 6:2, 3) Angakuthandizeni pamene mukuyesetsa kupitiriza kukhala wodzisunga.

Koma n’zoona kuti kulankhula nawo nkhani zokhudza kugonana kungakhale kochititsa manyazi poyamba. Koma mungadabwe kuona mmene amadziŵira momwe mukumvera. Zili choncho chifukwa nawonso anali achinyamata nthaŵi inayake. Choncho Sonja akulangiza achinyamata anzake kuti: “Lankhulani ndi makolo anu, ndipo musamachite manyazi kulankhula nawo zinthu zokhudza kugonana.”

Bwanji ngati makolo anu satsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo? Ngakhale kuti mumawalemekezabe, mungafunike kupeza thandizo kwa anthu ena omwe si a m’banja mwanu. Paul, amene tamutchula kale uja, anati: “Ndimapeza thandizo lambiri pa nkhani zimenezi kwa Akristu okhwima maganizo amene ali pabanja.” Kenji, mtsikana amene mayi ake ndi osakhulupirira, nayenso akuti: “Kuti ndipeze malangizo abwino, ndimapita kwa anthu achikulire amene amandilimbikitsa mwauzimu.” Koma akuchenjeza kuti, “Ndimapeŵa anthu amene alibe makhalidwe abwino kwenikweni, ngakhale amene amati tili ndi chikhulupiriro chimodzi.”

Nthaŵi zina, mungafunike kusamala mmene mumasankhira ocheza nawo mu mpingo wachikristu. Baibulo likutikumbutsa kuti pa gulu lililonse lalikulu la anthu, nthaŵi zambiri pamakhala ena amene sachita zinthu mwaulemu. (2 Timoteo 2:20) Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani mukatulukira kuti achinyamata ena mu mpingo mwanu ndi “otyasika,” kapena kuti, amabisa khalidwe lawo lenileni? (Salmo 26:4) Peŵani kucheza nawo kwambiri anthu oterowo, ndipo muzisankha anthu ocheza nawo amene angakulimbikitseni kuti mupitirize kukhalabe wodzisunga.

Peŵani Nkhani Zimene Zingakupwetekeni

Muyeneranso kuchita zinthu zoti zikutetezeni ku nkhani zambirimbiri zokhudza kugonana zimene zimafalitsidwa m’mabuku, m’magazini, m’mavidiyo a nyimbo, m’maseŵera oseŵerera pa vidiyo, m’mafilimu, ndi pa Intaneti. Ofalitsa nkhani amasonyeza kuti kugonana munthu asanaloŵe m’banja ndi chinthu chosiririka, chosangalatsa, ndiponso chopanda mavuto alionse. Kodi zotsatirapo zake n’zotani? Kenji, amene tinamugwira mawu pamwambapo, akuvomereza kuti: “Ndinaonerera pulogalamu inayake imene kugonana ankakuonetsa ngati chinthu chongochita mwachisawawa ndiponso inkakhudza kugonana kwa amuna okhaokha kapena akazi okhaokha. Chifukwa cha zimenezi ndinayamba kuiwala mmene Yehova amaonera zinthu zimenezi.”

Zoona zake n’zakuti, zosangalatsa zofala masiku ano zimabisa mochenjera zoipa zimene zimabwera anthu akamagonana asanakwatirane, monga mimba zosafunidwa, maukwati okwatirana anthu asanakhwime, ndi matenda opatsirana pogonana. Choncho musasocheretsedwe ndi anthu amene “ayesa zoipa zabwino, ndi zabwino zoipa.”—Yesaya 5:20.

Kumbukirani mawu a pa Miyambo 14:15, oti: “Wachibwana akhulupirira mawu onse; koma wochenjera asamalira mayendedwe ake.” Ngati mupeza zithunzi zolaula mukuŵerenga buku, kugwiritsa ntchito Intaneti, kapena kuonera TV, chitanipo kanthu nthaŵi yomweyo! Tsekani bukulo, zimitsani kompyutayo, kapena sinthani tchanelo! Ndiyeno  ganizirani zinthu zina zolimbikitsa. (Afilipi 4:8) Mwa kuchita zimenezi, mungachotse zilakolako zoipa zisanazike mizu.—Yakobo 1:14, 15.

Chenjerani ndi Zochitika Zimene Zingakuchimwitseni

Kodi muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu winawake? Ndiye kuti mufunika kusamala. Baibulo limatichenjeza kuti: “Mtima ndiwo wonyenga koposa, ndi wosachiritsika.” (Yeremiya 17:9) N’zosavuta kuti kusonyezana chikondi kusanduke kugonana kolakwika. Dzitetezeni mokwanira, monga kukhala ndi munthu wina wachitatu kapena kucheza ndi chibwenzi chanucho muli pagulu. Peŵani kukhala aŵiriŵiri pa malo kapena pa zochitika zimene zingakuikeni pachiyeso.

Koma mwina munagwirizana zokwatirana ndipo mukuganiza kuti kusonyezana chikondi mwa njira zina ndi zina si kolakwika. Ngakhale zili choncho, lipoti la WHO linachenjeza kuti: “Ukwati ukatsala pang’ono kuchitika, akazi ambiri amagonana ndi mwamuna asanaloŵe m’banja, ngakhale kumadera kumene kuli miyambo yokhwima.” * Choncho dzipatseni malire a njira zosonyezerana chikondi, kuti mupeŵe kusweka mtima popanda chifukwa.

Ngakhale kuti n’zovuta kukhulupirira, achinyamata ambiri, makamaka atsikana ang’onoang’ono, amakakamizidwa kugonana ndi amuna. Malinga ndi kafukufuku winawake, “atsikana 60 mwa atsikana 100 alionse amene anagona ndi mwamuna asanafike zaka 15 ku United States anatero mokakamizidwa.” Anthu ochita zimenezi nthaŵi zambiri amagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu kuti agonjetse atsikanawo. (Mlaliki 4:1) Mwachitsanzo, Baibulo limati Amnoni, mwana wamwamuna wa Mfumu Davide, “anam’konda” Tamara, mlongo wake wa mayi ena, ndipo mwa kumunamiza anamukakamiza n’kugona naye.—2 Samueli 13:1, 10-16.

Zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti n’zosatheka kupeŵa kugwiriridwa kapena kukakamizidwa kugonana ndi munthu wina. Mwa kuzindikira pamene pali zoopsa, kupeŵa zochitika zimene zingakuchimwitseni, ndi kuchitapo kanthu msanga pakakhala choopseza chinachake, mungadziteteze kwambiri. *

‘Umbani Mtima Wanu Kuti Ukhale Umodzi’

Tikukhulupirira kuti malangizo amene tafotokozaŵa akuthandizani pamene mukuyesetsa kukhalabe wodzisunga. Koma pamapeto pake, zimene zili mu mtima mwanu n’zimene zidzaumbe khalidwe lanu. Yesu anati “mumtima muchokera . . . zachiwerewere.” (Mateyu 15:19) Choncho muyenera kupeŵa kukhala ndi mtima wogawikana (wosatsimikiza) kapena kukhala ndi “mitima iŵiri” pankhani yofunika kwambiri imeneyi.—Salmo 12:2; 119:113.

Mukaona kuti mwayamba kufooka kapena mwayamba kukhala ndi mtima wapaŵiri, muzipemphera ngati mmene anachitira Davide pamene anachonderera kuti: ‘Muumbe mtima wanga ukhale umodzi kuti uliope dzina lanu.’ (Salmo 86:11) Kenaka, muzichita zinthu zogwirizana ndi pemphero lanulo mwa kuphunzira Baibulo ndi mabuku ofotokoza za m’Baibulo ndi kutsatira zimene mwaphunzirazo. (Yakobo 1:22) Lydia akuti: “Chimene chimandithandiza kupeŵa ziyeso zogonana ndicho kukumbukira nthaŵi zonse kuti ‘wadama yense, kapena wachidetso, alibe choloŵa m’ufumu wa Kristu ndi Mulungu.’”—Aefeso 5:5.

Kupeŵa kugonana musanaloŵe m’banja kungakhale kovuta. Koma, ndi thandizo la Yehova, mungakhale wodzisunga ndi kupeŵa kudzibweretsera inuyo komanso kubweretsera anthu ena mavuto aakulu.—Miyambo 5:8-12.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 29]

Kukambirana mmene mukumvera ndi makolo anu kungakuthandizeni kupitirizabe kukhala wodzisunga

[Chithunzi patsamba 30]

Kucheza ndi chibwenzi chanu muli pagulu kungakutetezeni