Zimene Baibulo Limanena

Kodi Kusudzulana N’kuthetsadi Mavuto?

WANSEMBE wina ku Britain akulandira anthu amene abwera ku mwambo winawake wapadera. Pamaso pake pali mwamuna ndi mkazi, limodzi ndi anzawo apamtima ndi ana. Kodi umenewu ndi mwambo wosangalatsa wa ukwati? Ayi ndithu! Mwambo umenewu ukusonyeza kutha kwa ukwati wawo. Zoonadi, kusudzulana kwafala kwambiri moti matchalitchi ena ayamba kumakhala ndi mwambo wosudzula maukwati!

Kodi mukuganiza zosudzulana? Ngati ndi choncho, kodi n’zoonadi kuti chifukwa cha kutha kwa ukwati wanu mudzakhala ndi moyo wachimwemwe kuposa panopa? Kodi pali zimene mungachite kuti mukhale achimwemwe ndi mwamuna wanu kapena mkazi wanu?

“Adzakhala Thupi Limodzi”

Pamene anthu awiri oyambirira anakwatirana, Mulungu anati mwamuna ‘adzadziphatika kwa mkazi wake, ndipo adzakhala thupi limodzi.’ (Genesis 2:24) Choncho ukwati sunafunike kuti uzitha. N’chifukwa chake Yesu kenaka anadzanena kuti Malemba saloleza munthu kusudzula mwamuna kapena mkazi wake n’kukwatiranso munthu wina pokhapokha mwamuna kapena mkaziyo akachita “chigololo.”—Mateyu 19:3-9. *

Lemba limeneli likusonyeza kuti ukwati umafuna kukhulupirika. Koma bwanji ngati mavuto a mu ukwati wanu ali aakulu kwambiri?

Kodi Kusudzulana N’chinthu Chanzeru?

Yesu anatipatsa mfundo imene tingagwiritse  ntchito poona ubwino kapena kuipa kwa zochita zathu, pamene anati: “Nzeru iyesedwa yolungama ndi ntchito zake.” (Mateyu 11:19) Kodi zotsatirapo za maukwati ambirimbiri amene akutha masiku ano popanda zifukwa zenizeni zikusonyeza chiyani?

Pulofesa wa kakhalidwe ka anthu wa pa Yunivesite ya Chicago dzina lake Linda Waite, amene anatsogolera gulu la akatswiri amene anafufuza za maukwati opanda chimwemwe, anati: “Anthu akukokomeza kwambiri ubwino wosudzulana.” Mofanana ndi zimenezo, pulofesa wina wa pa Yunivesite ya Oxford dzina lake Michael Argyle, amene anatha zaka 11 akufufuza anthu masauzande ambiri, anapeza kuti “anthu osasangalala kwambiri anali amene anasudzulana kapena amene anapatukana.” N’chifukwa chiyani zimenezi zingakhale choncho?

Ngakhale kuti kusudzulana kungathetse mavuto ena, kungakubweretsereninso mavuto ena ambiri amene simungathe kuwapewa. Ndipo kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti kusudzulana nthawi zambiri sikuchepetsa kuvutika maganizo ndiponso sikubwezeretsa ulemu wake wa munthu.

Ngakhale ukwati wanu utakhala kuti uli ndi mavuto, kukhalabe ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kungakuthandizeni. Anthu ambiri amene amachita khama kuti asathetse ukwati wawo amapeza chimwemwe. Pulofesa Waite anati: “Mavuto ambiri amatha pakapita nthawi, ndipo anthu amene ali pabanja amayamba kusangalala kuposa kale.” Ndipo kafukufuku wina anapeza kuti pafupifupi anthu 8 mwa anthu 10 alionse amene “analibiretu chimwemwe” m’banja mwawo koma sanathetse ukwatiwo anapezeka kuti anali “osangalala kwambiri ndi ukwati wawo” patapita zaka zisanu. Choncho anthu angachite bwino atati asamathamangire kusudzulana ngakhale akhale ndi mavuto aakulu m’banja mwawo.

Zimene Mungachite

Anthu amene akuganizira zosudzulana ayenera kudzifunsa ngati zimene amayembekezera mu ukwati wawo zilidi zotheka. Manyuzipepala, mabuku, mawailesi, ndi ma TV nthawi zambiri amasonyeza anthu awiri ali pachibwenzi amene pamapeto pake amachita ukwati wokwera mtengo kwambiri ndipo amakhala osangalala mpaka kalekale. Choncho anthu ena akachita ukwati wawo, kenaka n’kuona kuti zimene amayembekezera sizinachitike, amakhumudwa kwambiri ndipo amayamba kusemphana maganizo. Kusagwirizana kukapitirira, amapezeka kuti nthawi zonse amangopweteketsana mitima. Chikondi chimatha ndipo pakapita nthawi chimalowedwa m’malo ndi mkwiyo kapena chidani. Zinthu zikafika pamenepa, anthu ena angaganize kuti sangachitirenso mwina koma kusudzulana basi.—Miyambo 13:12.

M’malo momangokhala ndi maganizo oipa, muzicheza ndi anthu amene amafunitsitsa kuti ukwati wawo ukhalitse. Akristu amalimbikitsidwa ‘kuchenjezana, ndi kumangirirana wina ndi mnzake.’ (1 Atesalonika 5:11) Ndithudi anthu amene ali ndi mavuto mu ukwati wawo amafunika kulimbikitsidwa ndi okhulupirira anzawo.

Kufunika kwa Makhalidwe Okondweretsa Mulungu

Mtumwi Paulo anatilimbikitsa kuti: “Valani . . . mtima wachifundo, kukoma mtima, kudzichepetsa, chifatso, kuleza mtima.” (Akolose 3:12) Makhalidwe okondweretsa Mulungu angathandize anthu okwatirana kupitirizabe kugwirizana panthawi zovuta.

Mwachitsanzo, Paulo anatilimbikitsa ‘kulolerana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana eni tokha, ngati wina ali nacho chifukwa pa mnzake.’ (Akolose 3:13) Pulofesa wa maganizo a anthu wa pa Yunivesite ya Michigan dzina lake Christopher Peterson anati: “Kukhululuka ndi khalidwe limene limabweretsa kwambiri chimwemwe.”

Kukoma mtima, kumvera ena chifundo, ndi kukhululuka kumabweretsa chikondi, “chomangira cha mtima wamphumphu.” (Akolose 3:14) Mosakayikira panthawi inayake munkakondana bwinobwino. Kodi mungayambirenso kukondana ngati mmene munkachitira kale? Ngakhale zinthu zikhale zovuta bwanji, musataye mtima. Chiyembekezo chilipo. Zoonadi, kupirirabe osasudzulana ndiponso kutsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo kungakuchititseni kukhala ndi chimwemwe kwambiri kuposa mmene munali kuganizira. Mukamayesetsa kuchita zimenezi mumakondweretsa Yehova Mulungu, amene anayambitsa ukwati.—Miyambo 15:20.

[Mawu a M’munsi]