Tonsefe Timafunika Kukhala ndi Anzathu

“Mnzako ndi munthu amene ungalankhule naye nkhani iliyonse momasuka, amene ungathe kupita kunyumba kwake nthawi iliyonse.”—Anatero Yaël, wa ku France

“Mnzako amamvetsa ukakhumudwa, ndipo amamva ngati momwe ukumvera iweyo mu mtima mwake.”—Anatero Gaëlle, wa ku France

“LILIPO bwenzi lipambana ndi mbale kuumirira.” (Miyambo 18:24) Kuyambira pamene mawu amenewo analembedwa m’Baibulo zaka pafupifupi 3,000 zapitazo, chibadwa cha anthu sichinasinthe. Kukhala ndi anzathu kukadali kofunikabe kuti munthu azisangalala, monga momwe chakudya ndi madzi zilili zofunika kuti tikhale ndi thupi lathanzi. Komabe, anthu ambiri amavutika kuti apeze anzawo, ngakhale kuti kukhala ndi anzathu n’chinthu chofunika kwambiri pamoyo wathu. Kusungulumwa n’kofala. Carin Rubenstein ndi Phillip Shaver, omwe analemba buku lotchedwa In Search of Intimacy, anati: “Si kovuta kudziwa zina mwa zifukwa zimene zikuchititsa kuti tizivutika kupeza anzathu.” Iwo anatchula zifukwa monga “kusakhazikika pamalo amodzi kwa anthu,” chifukwa choti amasamukasamuka. Chifukwa china n’choti tikukhala “m’mizinda ikuluikulu momwe anthu sakhala ogwirizana, komanso yomwe ili yodzaza ndi umbanda,” ndiponso chifukwa choti “tasiya kucheza ndi anthu okhala m’dera lathu ndipo m’malo mwake timatha nthawi yambiri tikuonerera TV ndi mavidiyo.”

Moyo wamasiku ano umatitheranso kwambiri nthawi ndiponso mphamvu zathu. Letty Pogrebin analemba m’buku lake lotchedwa Among Friends, kuti: “Munthu wokhala mu mzinda masiku ano amaonana ndi anthu ambiri pa mlungu umodzi kuposa amene munthu wokhala kumudzi m’zaka za m’ma 1600 ankaonana nawo pachaka ngakhale pamoyo wake wonse.” Popeza pamakhala anthu ambirimbiri amene amakhala anansi athu, zingakhale zovuta kuti tisankhepo anthu angapo oti akhale anzathu apamtima.

Ngakhale m’madera amene posachedwapa anthu ankakhala moyo wa phee, zinthu zikusintha kwambiri. Ulla, amene amakhala kum’mawa kwa Ulaya, anati: “Kale tinkagwirizana kwambiri ndi anzathu. Koma masiku ano anthu ambiri amatanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito zawo kapena zochita zina zomwe amazikonda. Aliyense amakhala wotanganidwa nthawi zonse ndipo tikuona kuti anthu amene anali anzathu kale pang’ono ndi pang’ono tayamba kusagwirizana nawo kwambiri masiku ano.” Chifukwa choti anthu masiku ano amafunika kuchita zinthu zambirimbiri panthawi yochepa, kukhala ndi anzathu kukhoza kuoneka ngati chinthu chosafunika kwenikweni.

Ngakhale zili choncho, timafunikabe kukhala ndi anzathu. Makamaka achinyamata ndi amene amafunika kwambiri kukhala ndi anzawo. Monga momwe Yaël, yemwe wagwidwa mawu pamwambapo anafotokozera, “munthu ukakhala wachinyamata umafuna uziona kuti anzako amakuona kuti ndiwe wa m’gulu lawo ndipo amakuchitira zinthu mofanana ndi anthu ena m’gululo, ndiponso umafunika kukhala wogwirizana kwambiri ndi munthu winawake.” Kaya ndife achinyamata kapena achikulire, tonsefe timafunika kukhala ndi anzathu amene timasangalala nawo ndiponso amene amatithandiza. Ndipo ngakhale kuti n’zovuta kupeza anzathu oterowo, pali zambiri zimene tingachite kuti tipeze anzathu enieni ndiponso kuti tipitirizebe kukhala nawo. Nkhani zotsatirazi zifotokoza momwe tingachitire zimenezi.