Pali Zimene Mungachite Kuti Moyo Wanu Usakhale Wopanikizika

BUKU linalake laposachedwapa lonena za moyo wa banja limati “vuto lokhala pampanipani poyesera kukwanitsa kuchita zinthu zonse zofunika kuntchito, m’banja, ndi kunja kwa banja lawonjezeka kwambiri m’zaka zaposachedwapa.” Zoonadi, tikukhala m’masiku amene moyo uli wopanikizika kwambiri. Koma zimenezi si zodabwitsa kwa anthu amene amaphunzira Baibulo, poti linaneneratu kuti nthawi zathu zino zidzakhala “nthawi zowawitsa.”—2 Timoteo 3:1-5.

Jesús, bambo wa ana atatu, anati: “Aliyense amapanikizika nthawi zina pamoyo wake. Choncho mumangofunika kudziwa zochita.” Koma kungonena za kuchepetsa kupanikizika pamoyo n’kophweka, koma kuchitadi zimenezo n’kovuta. Komabe pali zinthu zothandiza zomwe mungachite ndiponso mfundo za m’Baibulo zomwe zingakuthandizeni.

Kuchepetsa Kupanikizika Kuntchito

Kodi muli ndi moyo wopanikizika, mwina chifukwa cha mmene zinthu zilili kuntchito kwanu? Kumangopirira osanena chilichonse kungangokuchititsani kupanikizika kwambiri. Monga momwe Baibulo limanenera pa Miyambo 15:22, “zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo.”

Anthu ochita kafukufuku wokhudza kupanikizika ndi ntchito amati ndi bwino “kulankhula ndi abwana anu. Ngati sakudziwa kuti pali vuto, sangakuthandizeni.” Zimenezi sizikutanthauza kulankhula mokwiya posonyeza kukhumudwa kwanu. Lemba la Mlaliki 10:4, Malembo Oyera limati: “Kukhala duu ndiko kulewetsa zolakwa zazikulu.” Lankhulani mwaulemu ndipo pewani kuimba anthu ena mlandu. Mwina mungathandize abwana anu kuona kuti ngati simukhala wopanikizika mukhoza kumagwira ntchito yambiri.

Mungachitenso zomwezo kuti muchepetse mavuto ena a kuntchito, monga kusagwirizana ndi antchito anzanu. Pezani njira zabwino zomwe mungathetsere mavuto amenewo, monga kuchita kafukufuku ngati pakufunika kutero. Magazini ino yafalitsa nkhani zingapo zimene zingakuthandizeni kuchita zimenezo. * Ngati zikuoneka kuti palibe chomwe mungachite kuti muthetse mavuto amenewo, zingakhale bwino kuganizira zopeza ntchito kwina.

Kuchepetsa Nkhawa Yazachuma

Baibulo lilinso ndi malangizo amene angakuthandizeni kuchepetsa nkhawa yazachuma. Yesu Kristu anatilimbikitsa kuti: “Musadere nkhawa moyo wanu, chimene mudzadya ndi chimene mudzamwa; kapena thupi lanu, chimene mudzavala.” (Mateyu 6:25) Kodi zimenezo zingatheke bwanji? Zingatheke ngati mukhulupirira kuti Yehova Mulungu adzakupatsani zimene mumafunikiradi pamoyo wanu. (Mateyu 6:33) Lonjezo la Mulungu limenelo si nkhambakamwa chabe. Akristu mamiliyoni ambiri masiku ano amalimbikitsidwa ndi lonjezo limeneli.

Komabe, mumafunikiranso “nzeru yeniyeni” pa nkhani ya ndalama. (Miyambo  2:7; Mlaliki 7:12) Baibulo limatikumbutsa kuti: “Sitinatenga kanthu polowa m’dziko lapansi, ndiponso sitikhoza kupita nako kanthu pochoka pano; koma pokhala nazo zakudya ndi zofunda, zimenezi zitikwanire.” (1 Timoteo 6:7, 8) Kuphunzira kukhutira ndi zinthu zochepa n’kothandiza. Kumbukirani Leandro uja, amene sankathanso kuyenda koma anayamba kuyendera njinga ya olumala chifukwa chochita ngozi. Iye ndi mkazi wake anachita zinthu zowathandiza kusawononga ndalama. Leandro akufotokoza kuti: “Timayesetsa kusamala ndalama. Mwachitsanzo, ngati sitikugwiritsa ntchito getsi linalake, timalizimitsa kuti tisamawononge ndalama zambiri polipira magetsi. Pankhani ya galimoto, timayamba takhala pansi n’kuganizira komwe tikufuna kupita n’kupita konseko pa ulendo umodzi kuti tisathe mafuta ambiri.”

Makolo angathandize ana kusamala ndalama. Mwana wa Leandro dzina lake Carmen akuvomereza kuti: “Ndimakonda kugula chinthu chosangalatsa chilichonse chomwe ndaona, koma makolo anga andithandiza kuzindikira zinthu zofunikadi ndi zosafunika. Poyamba, zinali zovuta kuti ndisinthe. Koma ndinaphunzira kusiyanitsa zinthu zimene mtima wanga umangolakalaka ndi zinthu zofunikadi kuti ndikhale nazo.”

Kulankhulana Bwino Kumachepetsa Kupanikizika

Kunyumba n’kumalo kumene anthu amafunika kukhala mosapanikizika, koma nthawi zambiri n’kumene kumachititsa anthu kukhala opanikizika kwambiri. Chifukwa chake n’chiyani? Buku lotchedwa Survival Strategies for Couples, limati: “Anthu okwatirana amene ali opanikizika pang’ono, kapena amene amangokhalira kukangana, amanena kuti kusalankhulana n’kumene kumayambitsa kwambiri kusagwirizana.”

Mfundo za m’Baibulo zingathandize anthu okwatirana kuyamba kulankhulana bwino. Baibulo limati pali “mphindi yakutonthola ndi mphindi yakulankhula” ndiponso kuti ‘mawu a pa nthawi yake ali abwino.’ (Mlaliki 3:1, 7; Miyambo 15:23) Kudziwa zimenezi kungakuthandizeni kupewa kuyambitsa nkhani yomwe ingabutse mkangano pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu watopa kwambiri. Kodi sizingakhale bwino kudikira kaye kuti mulankhule pa nthawi yabwino, pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo angamvetsere bwino?

N’zoona kuti ngati munali ndi mavuto kuntchito tsiku limenelo, si chinthu chophweka kukhala wodekha kapena woleza mtima. Koma kodi chingachitike n’chiyani ngati tiphwetsera mtima wathu pa mwamuna wathu kapena mkazi wathu pomulankhula mokhadzula? Baibulo limatikumbutsa kuti “mawu owawitsa aputa msunamo.” (Miyambo 15:1) Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, “mawu okoma ndiwo chisa cha uchi, otsekemera m’moyo ndi olamitsa mafupa.” (Miyambo 16:24) Pangafunike khama ndithu kuti zokambirana za m’banja mwanu zisakhale ndi “chiwawo chonse, ndi kupsa mtima, ndi mkwiyo, ndi chiwawa, ndi mwano.” (Aefeso 4:31) Koma ndi bwino kutero chifukwa phindu lake n’lalikulu. Anthu okwatirana amene amalankhulana bwino angalimbikitsane pamene wina akufunikira thandizo. Lemba la Miyambo 13:10 limati “omwe anauzidwa uphungu ali ndi nzeru.” *

 Vuto Limene Makolo Amapeza Polankhulana ndi Ana Awo

Kulankhula ndi ana n’kovuta, makamaka ngati mulibe nthawi yambiri. Baibulo limalimbikitsa makolo kulankhula ndi ana awo nthawi zonse, monga ‘pokhala pansi m’nyumba, ndi poyenda panjira.’ (Deuteronomo 6:6-8) Leandro anati: “Mumafunika kupeza mpata wolankhulana. Ndikakhala m’galimoto ndi mwana wanga wamwamuna, ndimapezerapo mpata wolankhula naye.”

Komabe, makolo ena amavutika kulankhula ndi ana awo. Alejandra, mayi wa ana atatu, anavomereza kuti: “Sindinkatha kumvetsera bwino. Kulephera kulankhulana bwino ndi ana anga kunkandichititsa kukwiya ndi kudziimba mlandu.” Kodi kholo lingatani kuti lisinthe? Yambani n’kukhala “wotchera khutu.” (Yakobo 1:19) Dr. Bettie B. Youngs anati: “Kutchera khutu wina akamalankhula ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yochepetsera kupanikizika.” Muyenera kumvetsera mosamala. Muzimuyang’ana munthu amene akulankhulayo. Musamachepetse mavuto a ana anu. Muzilimbikitsa ana anu kukuuzani mmene akumvera. Muzifunsa mafunso oyenera. Muziwasonyeza kuti mumawakonda ndiponso muziwauza kuti muli n’chikhulupiriro kuti adzachita zinthu zolondola. (2 Atesalonika 3:4) Muzipemphera limodzi ndi ana anu.

Kulankhulana bwino kumafuna khama. Koma kuchita zimenezo kungakuthandizeni kuchepetsa kupanikizika m’banja mwanu. Kulankhulana bwino ndi ana anu kungakuthandizeni kudziwa ngati anawo akupanikizika. Mungaphunzitse bwino ana anu ngati mukudziwa mmene akumvera ndi mavuto amene akukumana nawo. Pomaliza, ana amene amalimbikitsidwa kulankhula za mavuto amene akukumana nawo sangafune kuchita zinthu zoipa pofuna kuthawa mavuto awowo.

Kuti Muzithandizana Ntchito Zapakhomo M’pofunika Kugwirizana

Ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi onse ali pantchito, kugwira ntchito zapakhomo kungakhale chinthu china chochititsa moyo kukhala wopanikizika. Azimayi ena apantchito amachepetsa kupanikizika pochepetsa zinthu zofunika kuchita panyumba. Angaone kuti kuphika zakudya zambirimbiri n’kosatheka ndiponso kosathandiza. Kumbukirani zimene Yesu analangiza mayi winawake amene anali kuphika zakudya zambirimbiri. Anamuuza kuti: “Chisoweka chinthu chimodzi.” (Luka 10:42) Choncho chepetsani zophika. Buku lotchedwa The Single-Parent Family limalangiza kuti: “Muziphika ndiwo zosakaniza ndiponso zakudya zina zongofuna poto mmodzi yekha kuti musakhale ndi mbale zambiri zotsuka.” Inde, kuchepetsa zinthu zofunika kuchita pakhomo kungachepetse kupanikizika.

Ngakhale mutero, pangakhalebe  zinthu zambiri zofunika kuti muchite. Mayi wina wapantchito anati: “Pamene ndinali wachinyamata, ndinkatha kuchita chilichonse. Tsopano popeza ndakula, zimandivutirapo. Moyo wojijirika umene ndakhala nawo wayamba kundibweretsera mavuto. Choncho anthu ena a m’banja mwanga akamandithandiza ndimaona kuti amandiganizira, ndipo zimandithandiza kuti ndisakhale ndi moyo wopanikizika kwambiri.” Indedi, anthu onse m’banjamo akamagwira nawo ntchito zapakhomo, zimathandiza kuti munthu mmodzi asamakhale ndi zochita zambirimbiri. Buku lina lonena za kulera ana linati: “Kupatsa ana ntchito zapakhomo zoti azigwira ndi njira imodzi yabwino kwambiri yowathandiza . . . kudziwa kuti akhoza kugwira ntchito zosiyanasiyana. Kugwira ntchito zapakhomo nthawi zonse kumawathandiza kukhala ndi zizolowezi zabwino ndi kuona ntchito moyenera.” Kugwirira limodzi ntchito zapakhomo kungakuthandizeninso kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri yocheza ndi ana anu.

Mtsikana wina dzina lake Julieta anati: “Ndimaona kuti mayi anga amamva bwino ndikawathandizako ntchito zina. Zimenezi zimandisangalatsa ndipo zimandichititsa kumva kuti ndine munthu wodalirika. Zimandithandiza kukonda panyumba pathu. Kuphunzira kugwira ntchito zapakhomo kwandithandiza kuti ndidzakhale ndi poyambira m’tsogolo.” Mary Carmen nayenso anati: “Kuyambira pamene tinali ana, makolo anga anatiphunzitsa anafe kudzisamalira tokha. Zimenezi zatithandiza kwambiri.”

Njira Zabwino Zochepetsera Kupanikizika

Masiku ano aliyense amapanikizika nthawi zina, ndipo simungasinthe zimenezo. Koma mukhoza kuphunzira kuchepetsa kupanikizika. (Onani bokosi pa tsamba 10.) Kutsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo kungakuthandizeni. Mwachitsanzo, mukaona kuti zochitika zinazake zakukulirani, kumbukirani kuti “lilipo bwenzi lipambana ndi mbale kuumirira.” (Miyambo 18:24) Kambiranani nkhawa zanu ndi mnzanu wokhwima maganizo kapena mwamuna wanu kapena mkazi wanu. Katswiri wa chikhalidwe cha anthu dzina lake Ronald L. Pitzer anati: “Musangozisunga mu mtima. Uzani nkhawa zanu munthu wina wokhwima maganizo amene angakumvetsetseni ndi kukuthandizani.”

Baibulo limanenanso za ‘kuchitira moyo wanu zokoma.’ (Miyambo 11:17) Inde, si kulakwa kudzisamalira nokha. Baibulo limati: “Dzanja limodzi lodzala pali mtendere liposa manja awiri oti tho pali vuto ndi kungosautsa mtima.” (Mlaliki 4:6) Kupatula nthawi kuti mukhale nokha, ngakhale ngati zili mphindi zochepa chabe m’mamawa kuti mumwe tiyi, muwerenge, mupemphere, kapena musinkhesinkhe mumtendere, kukhoza kukuthandizani kwambiri.

Kuchita zinthu zolimbitsa thupi mosanyanyira ndi kudya zakudya zopatsa thanzi n’kothandizanso. Buku lonena za kulera ana likutikumbutsa kuti: “Mukamathera ina mwa nthawi yanu yofunika kwambiri ndi mphamvu zanu pochita zinthu zothandiza inuyo, ndiye kuti mukudzibwezeretsera mphamvu zanu. . . . Mukamangogwira ntchito nthawi zonse muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti mukubwezeretsanso mphamvu zimene mukuwonongazo, apo ayi mukhoza kupezeka kuti mwatoperatu moti simungathenso kuchita chilichonse.”

Kuwonjezera apo, Baibulo limathandiza munthu kukhala ndi makhalidwe amene ali ofunika pochepetsa kupanikizika, monga ‘kufatsa,’ kuleza mtima, ndi kukoma mtima. (Agalatiya 5:22, 23; 1 Timoteo 6:11) Kuposa pamenepo, Baibulo limatipatsa chiyembekezo. Limatilonjeza za dziko latsopano lomwe likubwera pamene zinthu zonse zimene zimazunguza anthu zidzakhala zitatha! (Chivumbulutso 21:1-4) Choncho n’chinthu chanzeru kukhala n’chizolowezi chowerenga Baibulo tsiku lililonse. Ngati mukufuna thandizo kuti muyambe kuchita zimenezo, Mboni za Yehova zingasangalale kukuthandizani kwaulere.

Zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti Mkristu amakhala moyo wosapanikizika ngakhale pang’ono. Koma Yesu anati n’zotheka kupewa kuti ‘mitima yathu ilemetsedwe ndi . . . zosamalira za moyo uno.’ (Luka 21:34, 35) Ndiponso mukamudziwa bwino Yehova Mulungu n’kukhala bwenzi lanu, akhoza kukhala pothawirapo panu! (Salmo 62:8) Angakuthandizeni kuchepetsa kupanikizika pa moyo wanu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 11]

“Pamene ndinali wachinyamata, ndinkatha kuchita chilichonse. Tsopano popeza ndakula, zimandivutirapo. Moyo wojijirika umene ndakhala nawo wayamba kundibweretsera mavuto”

 [Bokosi/Zithunzi patsamba 10]

Mmene Mungachepetsere Kupanikizika

▪ Muzipuma mokwanira tsiku lililonse

▪ Muzidya zakudya zopatsa thanzi. Pewani kudya kwambiri

▪ Muzichita zinthu zolimbitsa thupi zoyenera nthawi zonse, monga kuyenda ndawala

▪ Ngati chinachake chikukudetsani nkhawa, uzani mnzanu

▪ Muzikhala ndi nthawi yambiri yocheza mosangalala ndi banja lanu

▪ Gawiraniko ena ntchito zina zapakhomo

▪ Muzidziwa zinthu zimene thupi lanu silingathe kuchita ndiponso zimene mtima wanu sungathe kupirira

▪ Muzikhala ndi zolinga zothekadi, ndipo musamafune kuchita chinthu chilichonse popanda kulakwitsa

▪ Khalani ndi dongosolo labwino lochitira zinthu, ndipo muzikhala ndi pulogalamu yabwino yoti mungathedi kuitsatira

▪ Khalani ndi makhalidwe achikristu monga kufatsa ndi kuleza mtima

▪ Muzipatula nthawi yoti mukhale nokha

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Kuuza bwana wanu mavuto anu mwaulemu kungakuchepetsereni kupanikizika kuntchito

[Zithunzi patsamba 8]

Makolo angakambirane ndi ana awo njira zosamalira ndalama

[Chithunzi patsamba 8]

Monga wachinyamata, uzani nkhawa zanu munthu wina amene angathe kukuthandizani

[Chithunzi pamasamba 8, 9]

Aliyense akhoza kugwira nawo ntchito zapakhomo