Thandizani Mwana Wanu Wamkazi Kukonzekera Kutha Msinkhu

Pa nthawi imene munthu akusintha kuchoka ku ubwana kukhala wachikulire, pamakhala kusintha kosiyanasiyana. Kwa atsikana, chinthu chachikulu chimene chimachitika pa nthawi imene akukulayi ndicho kutha msinkhu, kapena kuti kuyamba kusamba.

KUTHA MSINKHU kukhoza kukhala nthawi yosokoneza kwambiri kwa atsikana, ndipo nthawi zambiri panthawi imeneyi amakhala ndi maganizo osiyanasiyana ambirimbiri. Mofanana ndi zinthu zina zimene zimachitika pa nthawi imene akusintha kuchoka ku ubwana kukhala achikulire, kutha msinkhu kukhoza kukhala kosokoneza maganizo. Atsikana ambiri amakhala ndi mantha ndiponso amada nkhawa, makamaka chifukwa chosauzidwa zinthu molondola, ndipo nthawi zambiri chifukwa chosauzidwa kalikonse.

Atsikana amene anathandizidwa kukonzekera kutha msinkhu nthawi zambiri amasangalala akayamba kusamba kusiyana ndi amene sanathandizidwe kukonzekera. Komabe, kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti atsikana ambiri amakhala osakonzekera. Pa kafukufuku wina yemwe anafunsa mafunso atsikana ochokera m’mayiko 23, pafupifupi mtsikana mmodzi pa atsikana atatu alionse, sanauzidwepo chilichonse chokhudza kutha msinkhu ali ana. Chifukwa chosakonzekera, atsikanawo sanadziwe chochita pamene anatha msinkhu.

Ambiri mwa amene ananena kuti sanasangalale ndi kutha msinkhu, anali atsikana amene sanaphunzitsidwe chilichonse chokhudza kusamba kapena kutha msinkhu. Pa kafukufuku winanso,  azimayi ena pofotokoza momwe anamvera atatha msinkhu anagwiritsa ntchito mawu ngati “kuda nkhawa,” “kuchita nthumanzi,” “kuchita manyazi,” ndi “kuchita mantha.”

Anthu ambiri amachita mantha akaona magazi, chifukwa kutuluka magazi nthawi zambiri kumatanthauza kuti munthu akumva kuwawa kapena wavulala. Choncho, atsikana akakhala kuti sanaphunzitsidwe kapena kuthandizidwa kukonzekera bwino, akhoza kuganiza kuti kusamba ndi matenda kapena kuvulala, kapena kuti n’chinthu chochititsa manyazi. Iwo angaganize chonchi chifukwa cha zimene anthu ambiri amakhulupirira pa chikhalidwe chawo, nthano zofala, kapena kusadziwa.

Mwana wanu ayenera kudziwa kuti kutuluka magazi posamba ndi chinthu chachibadwa chimene chimachitikira atsikana onse abwinobwino. Monga kholo, mukhoza kumuthandiza mwana wanu kuthetsa nkhawa kapena mantha alionse amene angakhale nawo. Mungachite bwanji zimenezi?

Thandizo la Makolo N’lofunika Kwambiri

Mukhoza kudziwa zambiri zokhudzana ndi kusamba kuchokera kwa anthu ndi zinthu zosiyanasiyana, monga kwa aphunzitsi, madokotala, m’mabuku, ngakhalenso m’mafilimu ophunzitsa zinthu. Makolo ambiri apeza kuti zinthu zimenezi zimafotokoza bwino zomwe zimachitika m’thupi pa nthawi imene munthu akusamba komanso momwe munthu ayenera kudzisamalira pa nthawi imeneyi. Komabe, atsikana akhoza kukhala ndi mafunso ena amene sangapeze mayankho ake m’zinthu zimenezi. Ngakhale ngati akudziwa zochita akayamba kusamba, atsikana nthawi zambiri sadziwa zomwe angachite kuti athane ndi maganizo osiyanasiyana amene amakhala nawo pa nthawi imeneyi.

Agogo aakazi a atsikanawo, achemwali awo aakulu, ndipo makamaka amayi awo angawathandize powafotokozera zinthu zina zimene amafunika kudziwa ndiponso powalimbikitsa ndi kuwamvetsa. Nthawi zambiri, atsikana amati amakhala omasuka kukambirana ndi amayi awo nkhani zokhudza kusamba.

Nanga bwanji abambo? Atsikana ambiri amachita manyazi kulankhula ndi bambo awo za kusamba. Ena amafuna kuti bambo awo aziwathandiza mwa njira ina mwa kuwalimbikitsa ndi kuwamvetsa, pamene ena amafuna kuti bambo awo asakhudzidwe n’komwe ndi nkhani imeneyi.

M’mayiko ambiri, mabanja opanda mayi achuluka pa zaka zingapo zapitazi. * Choncho abambo ambiri ayenera kupeza njira yophunzitsira ana awo aakazi za kusamba. Abambo amenewa ayenera kudziwa zinthu zofunika zokhudza kusamba komanso kusintha kwina kwa m’thupi ndi m’maganizo kumene kumachitikira ana awo aakazi. Abambowa angafunse amayi kapena achemwali awo kuti awathandize pa nkhani imeneyi.

Mungayambe Liti Kukambirana?

M’mayiko otukuka, monga ku United States, ku South Korea, ndi mbali zina za kumadzulo kwa Ulaya, atsikana ambiri amatha msinkhu ali ndi zaka za pakati pa 12 ndi 13, ngakhale kuti ena amatha msinkhu ali ndi zaka 8 pamene ena amachedwerapo ndipo amatha msinkhu ali ndi zaka 16 kapena 17. Ku madera ena a ku Africa ndi ku Asia, atsikana ambiri amatha msinkhu ali ndi zaka zochulukirapo. Mwachitsanzo, ku Nigeria, atsikana ambiri amatha msinkhu ali ndi zaka 15. Zinthu zosiyanasiyana, monga kutengera ku mtundu, kapezedwe ka ndalama, kadyedwe, ntchito zolimbitsa thupi, ndiponso kukhala pa malo okwera kapena otsika, kungachititse kuti anthu azitha msinkhu mofulumira kapena mochedwa.

Ndi bwino kuyamba kukambirana nkhani imeneyi ndi mwana wanu asanayambe kusamba. Choncho muyenera kuyamba msanga kukambirana nkhani zokhudza kusintha kwa thupi ndi kusamba, mwina pamene mwana wanu ali ndi zaka eyiti. Mwina mungaganize kuti pa msinkhu umenewu akadali wamng’ono kwambiri, koma ngati ali ndi zaka  zapakati pa eyiti ndi teni, ndiye kuti thupi lake layamba kale kusintha m’kati mwake. Mudzaona zizindikiro za kunja kwa thupi zosonyeza kuti akukula, monga kumera mawere ndi kumera tsitsi m’malo ena. Atsikana ambiri amanenepa ndi kutalika mwamsanga akangotsala pang’ono kutha msinkhu.

Mmene Mungaiyambire Nkhaniyo

Atsikana amene atsala pang’ono kutha msinkhu amakhala ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa kuti angayembekezere zotani. Mosakayikira amvapo atsikana ena ku sukulu kwawo akukambirana nkhani imeneyi. Amakhala ndi mafunso, koma amakanika kufunsa kwake. Mwina amachita manyazi kukamba nkhani imeneyi.

N’chimodzimodzinso ndi makolo. Ngakhale kuti amayi ndi amene nthawi zambiri amauza ana awo za nkhani imeneyi, nthawi zambiri amaona kuti sali okonzekera bwino ndipo amachita manyazi akamakamba nkhani imeneyi. Mwina inunso mumamva chimodzimodzi. Choncho kodi mungayambe bwanji kukambirana ndi mwana wanu za kutha msinkhu ndi kusamba?

Atsikana amene sanakwanitse zaka 13, amene atsala pang’ono kutha msinkhu mosakayikira angathe kumvetsa zinthu ngati muzifotokoza mosavuta ndi mosapita m’mbali. Zinthu zake zikhoza kukhala ngati zoti kusamba kumachitika pafupipafupi bwanji, kumatenga nthawi yaitali bwanji, ndipo magazi amatuluka ambiri bwanji. Choncho mukamayamba kumene kuphunzitsa mwana za kusamba, zingakhale bwino kufotokoza makamaka mfundo zothandiza zokhudza zomwe angachite akadzayamba kusamba. Kuwonjezera apo, mungafunike kuyankha mafunso ngati akuti: Kodi ndizidzamva bwanji? kapena Kodi ndiyembekezere zotani?

Kenaka, mukhoza kukambirana zinthu zokhudza kusintha kwa m’thupi komwe kumachititsa munthu kusamba. Nthawi zambiri mukhoza kupeza mabuku ofotokoza zimenezi kwa madokotala kapena ku laibulale kapenanso ku masitolo ogulitsa mabuku. Mabuku ngati amenewa angakuthandizeni kufotokoza mwatsatanetsatane nkhani imeneyi. Atsikana ena angakonde kuwerenga okha mabuku amenewa. Ena angakonde kuti muwerengere nawo limodzi mabukuwa.

Sankhani malo abata oyambira kukamba nkhani imeneyi. Yambani n’kufotokoza mwachidule zomwe zimachitika munthu akamakula ndi kusinkhuka. Mwina mungayambe n’kuti: “Posachedwapa, zinazake zimene zimachitikira atsikana onse zidzakuchitikiranso iweyo. Kodi ukuzidziwa zimenezo?” Kapena, mayi akhoza kunena zomwe zinawachitikira, motere: “Pamene ndinali msinkhu wakowu, ndinayamba kudzifunsa kuti kodi kusamba kumakhala kotani. Tinkakambirana zimenezi ndi anzanga kusukulu. Kodi anzako akambapo zimenezi?” M’funseni zimene akudziwa kale zokhudza kusamba ndiyeno konzani maganizo olakwika  alionse amene angakhale nawo. Khalani wokonzeka kuti pa kukambirana kwanu koyambirira, mwina muzidzangolankhula nokha nthawi zambiri kapena nthawi zonse.

Popeza ndinu mkazi ndipo mosakayikira munali ndi nkhawa zanu zokhudza kutha msinkhu, mukhoza kufotokoza zomwe zinakuchitikirani inuyo pamene mukukambirana nkhani imeneyi ndi mwana wanuyo. Kodi munkafuna mutadziwa chiyani? Kodi ndi zinthu zotani zimene mutazidziwa zinakuthandizani? Yesetsani kufotokoza bwino mbali zonse za ubwino ndi mavuto a kusamba. Khalani okonzeka kuyankha mafunso.

Pitirizanibe Kuwaphunzitsa

Muyenera kupitirizabe kuphunzitsa mwana wanu za kusamba, m’malo mongomuphunzitsa kamodzi kokha. Simufunikira kufotokoza zonse zokhudza nkhaniyi ulendo umodzi wokha. Kuuza mtsikana wamng’ono zinthu zambirimbiri nthawi imodzi kukhoza kumuchititsa mantha. Ana amaphunzira zinthu pang’onopang’ono. Ndiponso, mungafunikire kubwereza zinthu zomwezo maulendo angapo. Atsikana akamakula, amatha kumvetsetsa zinthu zina zowonjezera.

Chinanso chofunika kukumbukira n’choti, maganizo a atsikana pa nkhani ya kusamba amakhala akusintha pa nthawi yonse yomwe akusinkhuka. Mwana wanu akayamba kukudziwa bwino kusamba, mosakayikira padzakhala zinthu zatsopano zomwe adzafune kudziwa ndi kufunsa. Choncho mufunika kupitiriza kumuuza zinthu zatsopano ndi kuyankha mafunso ake. Muzifotokoza makamaka zinthu zimene zili zothandiza ndi zoyenerera kwa mwana wanuyo malinga ndi msinkhu wake ndi kamvedwe kake ka zinthu.

Yambani Ndinu

Koma kodi mungatani ngati mwana wanu akuoneka kuti alibe chidwi ndi nkhani imeneyi? Mwina n’kutheka kuti sakonda kunena zinthu zokhudza thupi lake. Kapena mwina akufunikira kumupatsa nthawi yokwanira kuti athe kuiganizira bwinobwino nkhaniyi ndi kuona momwe angafunsire mafunso. Mwinanso akhoza kunena kuti akudziwa zonse zomwe akufunikira kudziwa.

Pa kafukufuku wina wa ana a zaka pafupifupi 11 ku United States, atsikana ambiri amene anafunsidwa anayankha kuti anali okonzekera kutha msinkhu. Komabe, atafunsidwa mafunso ena, zinaoneka kuti zimene ankadziwa zinali zosakwanira ndipo ankakhulupirira zinthu zambiri zolakwika, zotengera zimene anthu ambiri amakhulupirira ndi nthano zofala. Choncho, ngakhale ngati mwana wanu atanena kuti akudziwa zonse zokhudza kutha msinkhu, mukufunikabe kulankhula naye za nkhani imeneyi.

Mosakayikira, inuyo monga kholo mudzafunika kuyambitsa kukambirana mwachidule nkhani zokhudza kusamba ndi kupitiriza kukambirana zimenezi nthawi ndi nthawi. Ndipotu, umenewu ndi udindo wanu monga kholo. Mwana wanu amafunikira thandizo lanu, kaya akuvomereza zimenezi pa nthawiyo kapena ayi. Mwina mungaone ngati mukugwiritsidwa mwala n’kukhumudwa nazo, koma musasiye kulankhula naye. Dekhani. N’zosakayikitsa konse kuti tsiku lina mwana wanu adzakuyamikirani chifukwa chomuthandiza kukonzekera kutha msinkhu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 11]

Ndi bwino kukambirana ndi mwana wanu asanayambe kusamba

[Bokosi patsamba 13]

MMENE MUNGALANKHULIRE NDI MWANA WANU WAMKAZI ZA KUSAMBA

❖ M’funseni zimene akudziwa kale. Konzani maganizo olakwika amene anali nawo. Onetsetsani kuti inuyo ndi iyeyo mukudziwa zinthu zolondola.

❖ M’fotokozereni zomwe zinakuchitikirani inuyo. Mukaganizira zimene zinakuchitikirani inuyo panthawi imene munatha msinkhu ndi kumufotokozera zimenezi mwana wanu, mukhoza kumuthandiza kwambiri kuti amve bwino m’maganizo.

❖ Muuzeni zinthu zomuthandiza. Mafunso ofala amene atsikana aang’ono amafunsa ndi monga: “Kodi ndidzatani ndikadzathera msinkhu ku sukulu?” “Kodi ndizidzagwiritsa ntchito zodzitetezera zotani?” “Kodi zinthu zimenezi ndizidzazigwiritsa ntchito bwanji?”

❖ Muuzeni zinthu zoona m’njira yosavuta kumva. Muzifotokoza zinthu zoti mwanayo angathe kumva malinga ndi msinkhu wake ndi kamvedwe kake ka zinthu.

❖ M’limbikitseni kupitiriza kuphunzira. Muyambe kukambirana ndi mwana wanu asanathe msinkhu, ndipo pitirizani kukambirana zimenezi pamene pakufunikira kutero, ngakhale atayamba kale kusamba.

[Chithunzi pamasamba 12, 13]

Muzimumvetsa mwana wanu. Mwina akhoza kuchita manyazi kunena zinthu zokhudza thupi lake