Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

Kodi Ndingapewe Bwanji Khalidwe Lofuna Kugonana ndi Amuna Kapena Akazi Anzanga?

“Pamene ndinali ndi zaka 12, ndinakopeka ndi mtsikana wina wa kusukulu kwathu. Ndinasokonezeka maganizo ndiponso kuda nkhawa kuti mwina ndili ndi khalidwe lofuna kugonana ndi akazi anzanga”—Anatero Anna. *

“Ndisanakwanitse zaka 20, ndinkavutika ndi vuto lokopeka ndi amuna anzanga. Ndinkadziwa ndithu kuti maganizo amenewo n’ngolakwika.”—Anatero Olef.

“Ndinapsompsonanapo kangapo ndi mnzanga yemwenso ndi mtsikana. Koma popeza ndinkakondabe anyamata, ndinayamba kuganiza kuti mwina ndili ndi khalidwe lofuna kugonana ndi amuna komanso akazi anzanga.”— Anatero Sarah.

POPEZA masiku ano anthu amavomereza makhalidwe osiyanasiyana, achinyamata ambiri akuyeserera kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo. “Atsikana ambiri kusukulu kwathu amanena kuti amafuna kugonana ndi akazi anzawo, ndipo ena amati amafuna kugonana ndi aliyenseyo, kaya ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna, ndiponso ena amati amangofuna kuyesa zonsezi,” anatero Becky, wa zaka 15. Ndipo mtsikana wina wotchedwa Christa, yemwe ali ndi zaka 18, akuti kusukulu kwawo kulinso khalidwe lomweli. Iye anati: “Ndafunsiridwapo ndi atsikana awiri a m’kalasi mwathu. Mmodzi mwa iwo anandilembera kalata yondipempha ngati ndikufuna kuona mmene zimakhalira ukamagonana ndi mtsikana mnzako.”

Popeza anthu akulankhula poyera za kugonana kwa akazi kapena amuna okhaokha, mwina mungadzifunse kuti: ‘Kodi khalidweli n’loipadi? Nanga bwanji ngati ndayamba kukopeka ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna mnzanga? Kodi zingatanthauze kuti ndili ndi khalidwe lofuna kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzanga?’

Kodi Mulungu Amaliona Bwanji Khalidweli?

Anthu ambiri masiku ano, ngakhale atsogoleri azipembedzo amene, amasonyeza kuti palibe vuto lenileni pankhani ya kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Koma Baibulo limanena mosapita m’mbali pankhani imeneyi. Limatiuza kuti Yehova Mulungu ndiye analenga mwamuna ndi mkazi ndiponso anafuna kuti kugonana kuzichitika pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake basi. (Genesis 1:27, 28; 2:24) Choncho, n’zosadabwitsa kuti Baibulo limaletsa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.—Aroma 1:26, 27.

 Komabe, anthu ambiri anganene kuti Baibulo n’lachikale kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, Megan yemwe ndi mtsikana wazaka 14 anati: “Zinthu zina zotchulidwa m’Baibulo n’zosafunika masiku ano.” Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani anthu ena amafulumira kunena zimenezo? N’chifukwa choti kawirikawiri, zimene Baibulo limanena zimasemphana ndi zimene iwowo amafuna. Amakana Mawu a Mulungu chifukwa mawuwo amaphunzitsa zosiyana ndi zimene anthuwo akufuna kuti azikhulupirira. Maganizo amenewo si abwino ngakhale pang’ono, ndipo Baibulo limatilimbikitsa kuchotsa maganizo oterowo. Ndipotu kudzera m’Mawu ake, Yehova Mulungu amatilimbikitsa kuganizira mfundo yoti malamulo ake n’ngotipindulitsa. (Yesaya 48:17, 18) Zimenezitu n’zoona. Chifukwa, alipo ndani amene amadziwa bwino mmene anthufe tilili kuposa Mlengi wathu?

Popeza ndinu wachinyamata, nthawi zina maganizo anu amasintha m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Nanga bwanji ngati mwayamba kukopeka ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu? Kodi zikatere ndiye kuti zikutanthauza kuti muli ndi khalidwe lofuna kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzanu? Ayi. Kumbukirani kuti muli “pachimake pa unyamata,” nthawi imene chilakolako champhamvu cha kugonana chimangobwera chokha m’thupi lanu ngakhale musanaganizire n’komwe zilizonse zokhudza kugonana. (1 Akorinto 7:36) Kwa kanthawi ndithu, mwina mungayambe kukopeka ndi mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu. Koma kukhala ndi chidwi choterocho mwa mnzanuyo sizitanthauza kuti muli ndi khalidwe lofuna kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzanu. Ndipotu, kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti nthawi zambiri chidwi choterocho chimatha chokha m’kupita kwa nthawi. Komabe, mwina mungadabwe kuti, ‘Kodi chilakolako chotero chimayamba bwanji?’

Anthu ena amati khalidweli n’lochita kubadwa nalo. Ndipo ena amati munthu amachita kuliphunzira. Koma cholinga cha nkhani ino si kufotokoza zoti khalidweli amachita “kubadwa nalo kapena kuliphunzira.” Inde, kungakhale kulakwitsa kwakukulu ngati munthu atanena kuti khalidweli limayamba chifukwa cha chinthu chimodzi chokha. Monga mmene zilili ndi makhalidwe ena, zikuonekanso kuti khalidweli limayamba chifukwa cha zinthu zambiri.

Zilibe kanthu kuti chimayambitsa khalidweli n’chiyani, koma mfundo yaikulu n’njakuti Baibulo limaletsa. Zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti munthu amene akulimbana ndi chilakolako chofuna kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzake angathe kukwanitsa kudziletsa. Iye angasankhe kusachita zimene chilakolakocho chikumuuza. Tifanizire motere: Tayekezerani kuti munthu ndi “wamkwiyo.” (Miyambo 29:22) Mwina masiku a m’mbuyomo munthuyo sankachedwa kuchita zinthu mokwiya. Koma pambuyo poti waphunzira Baibulo, iye anazindikira kufunika kokhala munthu wodziletsa. Kodi zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti sadzakwiyanso? Ayi. Komano, chifukwa choti akudziwa zimene Baibulo limanena pa nkhani ya mkwiyo wosalamulirika, iye sangalole kukwiya mopitirira muyezo. N’chimodzimodzinsotu ndi munthu amene anakopekapo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzake, koma tsopano waphunzira zimene Baibulo limanena pa nkhani ya kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzake. Ndipo mwa apo ndi apo, chilakolako choipa chingamabwerebe chokha mwa iye. Komabe, munthu angapewe kugonjera ku chilakolako choipacho mwa kutsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo.

N’zoona kuti chilakolako chofuna kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu chingakhale champhamvu kwambiri. Komatu, khulupirirani kuti n’zotheka kugonjetsa zizolowezi zoipa ngakhale zomwe zamera mizu m’moyo wanu. (1 Akorinto 9:27; Aefeso 4:22-24) Ndipotu inuyo mumasankha nokha moyo umene mukufuna. (Mateyo 7:13, 14; Aroma 12:1, 2) Ngakhale kuti anthu ena amati zimenezi n’zosatheka, inuyo mungathe kuphunzira kulamulira chilakolako chanu, kapena kudziletsa kusachita zimene chilakolakocho chikukuuzani.

Pewani Zizolowezi Zoipa

Kodi n’chiyani chomwe mungachite kuti mupewe khalidwe lofuna kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu?

▪ Choyamba M’senzeni Yehova nkhawa zanu m’pemphero, ndipo khulupirirani kuti iye “amasamala za inu.” (1 Petulo 5:7; Salmo 55:22) Yehova adzakupatsani mtendere “wopambana luntha lonse la kulingalira.” Zimenezi zingakuthandizeni ‘kuteteza mtima wanu ndi maganizo anu’ ndipo zingakupatseni “mphamvu yoposa yachibadwa” kuti mupewe kutsatira zilakolako zoipa. (Afilipi 4:7; 2 Akorinto 4:7) Sarah, amene ankaopa kwambiri kuti mwina ali ndi khalidwe lofuna kugonana ndi amuna komanso akazi anzake, anati: “Nthawi iliyonse imene maganizo oipa abwera m’mutu mwanga, ndimapemphera; ndipo Yehova amandiyankha. Sindikanatha kugonjetsa vutoli kupanda thandizo la Yehova. Pemphero n’limene limandithandiza kwambiri.”—Salmo 94:18, 19; Aefeso 3:20.

▪ Chachiwiri Muziganizira kwambiri mfundo zauzimu zolimbikitsa. (Afilipi 4:8) Werengani Baibulo tsiku ndi tsiku. Musapeputse mphamvu ya Baibulo yotha kuumba maganizo ndi mtima wanu kuti muzichita zinthu zabwino. (Aheberi 4:12) Mnyamata wina  wotchedwa Jason anati: “Baibulo limandikhudza mtima kwambiri, makamaka mavesi monga 1 Akorinto 6:9, 10 ndi Aefeso 5:3. Nthawi iliyonse imene chilakolako choipa chandibwerera ndimawerenga mavesi amenewa.”

▪ Chachitatu Pewani zinthu zolaula ndiponso zilizonse zimene zimalimbikitsa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, chifukwa zimenezi zimangolimbikitsa maganizo oipa. * (Salmo 119:37; Akolose 3:5, 6) M’mafilimu ndi m’mapulogalamu ena a pa TV, amalimbikitsanso mfundo yakuti palibe vuto ngati munthu wasankha kuti pamoyo wake azigonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzake. Ndipo Anna anati: “Kaganizidwe kopotoka kadzikoli kanandikhudza kwambiri ndipo kanawonjezera kusokonezeka kwanga maganizo pankhani ya kugonana. Koma masiku ano ndimapeweratu chilichonse kapena munthu aliyense amene amalimbikitsa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.”—Miyambo 13:20.

▪ Chachinayi Pezani munthu wodalirika, ndipo muuzeni maganizo anu. (Miyambo 23:26; 31:26; 2 Timoteyo 1:1, 2; 3:10) Olef, amene anapempha thandizo kwa mkulu wa mumpingo akukumbukira kuti: “Uphungu umene anandipatsa unali wothandiza kwambiri. Ndipo ndinalakalaka ndikadalankhula naye m’masiku oyambirira enieni.”

Musafooke!

N’zoona ndithu kuti ena anganene kuti palibe chifukwa chochitira zonsezi, bola kungotsata chilakolako chanucho. Koma Baibulo limanena kuti mukhoza kugonjetsa chilakolako chanu. Mwachitsanzo, limatiuza kuti ena mwa Akhristu oyambirira amene kale ankagonana ndi amuna anzawo anasintha. (1 Akorinto 6:9-11) Inunso mukhoza kupambana pa nkhondoyi, ngakhale kuti panopo mwina mukungolimbana nayo mumtima mwanu.

Ngati chilakolako choipachi chikupitirirabe, musafooke kapena kuganiza kuti ndinu munthu wotayika. (Aheberi 12:12, 13) Tonsefe timalimbana ndi zilakolako zoipa nthawi zina. (Aroma 3:23; 7:21-23) Ngati mukana kuchita zinthu zogwirizana ndi chilakolako choipa, m’kupita kwa nthawi chilakolakocho chingasiye chokha. (Akolose 3:5-8) Koposa zonse, dalirani Yehova kuti akuthandizeni. Iye amakukondani ndipo amadziwa chimene chingakuchititseni kuti mukhale osangalala. (Yesaya 41:10) Inde, “khulupirira Yehova, ndipo chita chokoma . . . , ndipo iye adzakupatsa zokhumba mtima wako.”—Salmo 37:3, 4.

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[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

▪ N’chifukwa chiyani Mulungu amaletsa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha?

▪ Kodi mungachite chiyani ngati mukulimbana ndi chilakolako chofuna kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu?

▪ Kodi mungauze ndani ngati mukulimbana ndi chilakolako chimenechi?

[Chithunzi patsamba 30]

Pemphani thandizo kwa Mkhristu wachikulire wokhwima mwauzimu