Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

Kodi Ndizitani Makolo Anga Akamakangana?

MAKOLO anu akamakangana, zimakuipirani chifukwa mumawakonda ndi kuwadalira. Choncho mumada nkhawa kwambiri mukaona kuti sakugwirizana. Komano n’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zina makolo anu amangokhala ngati adziwana dzulo?

Amaona Zinthu Mosiyana

Yesu anati mwamuna ndi mkazi akakwatirana amakhala “thupi limodzi.” (Mateyo 19:5) Koma kodi zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti mayi ndi bambo anu ayenera kugwirizana pachilichonse? Ayi, sichoncho. Kunena zoona, ngakhale anthu okwatirana amene amagwirizana bwinobwino, sangakhale ndi maganizo ofanana nthawi zonse.

Sikuti makolo anu akasemphana maganizo ndiye kuti ukwati wawo sukuyenda bwino. Mfundo n’njakuti makolo anuwo amakondana ndithu, ngakhale atamakangana nthawi zina. Nangano amakangana chifukwa chiyani? Mwina n’chifukwa choti pali zinthu zina zimene amaziona mosiyana. Zimenezi sizolakwika ndipo sizisonyeza kuti ukwati wawo sukuyenda bwino.

Mwachitsanzo: Kodi munagulapo chovala chinachake chimene inuyo munkachiona kuti n’chabwino kwambiri koma mnzanu anakuuzani kuti sichabwino? Zoterezi zimachitika ndithu. Ngakhale anthu amene amakondana kwambiri angathe kuona zinthu mosiyana.

Zimenezi zingachitikenso kwa makolo anu. N’kutheka kuti onse akufuna kusamalira bwino ndalama za banjalo, koma aliyense ali ndi maganizo osiyana a mmene angachitire zimenezi. N’kuthekanso kuti onse akufuna kupita ku tchuthi ndi banja lonse, koma akusiyana maganizo za komwe angakachitire tchuthicho. Mwinanso onse akufuna kuti muzichita bwino kusukulu, koma akusiyana maganizo pankhani ya mmene angakulimbikitsireni kuchita zimenezi. Apatu mfundo n’njakuti, kugwirizana sikutanthauza kumvana pa chilichonse. Ngakhale anthu amene akhala thupi limodzi angathe kusiyana maganizo.

Koma n’chifukwa chiyani makolo anu amakangana nthawi zina akasiyana maganizo? Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zina maganizo abwinobwino a mayi kapena bambo anu angachititse kuti makolo anuwo akangane kwambiri?

Kupanda Ungwiro

Nthawi zambiri makolo amakangana chifukwa choti ndi opanda ungwiro. Baibulo limati: “Tonsefe timapunthwa nthawi zambiri. Ngati wina sapunthwa pa mawu, ameneyo ndi munthu  wangwiro.” (Yakobe 3:2) Inuyo ndinu opanda ungwiro, chimodzimodzinso makolo anu. Nthawi zina, tonsefe timanena zinthu zinazake mosaganizira bwino, ndipo nthawi zina mawu athu angakhale opweteka kwambiri ngati “kupyoza kwa lupanga.”—Miyambo 12:18.

Mwina mungakumbukire kuti nanunso munachitapo zoterezi nthawi ina. Mwachitsanzo, kodi simunakwiyitsanepo ndi mnzanu winawake wapamtima? N’kutheka kuti munakwiyitsanapo. Mphatso anavomereza kuti: “Palibe amene sanasiyanepo maganizo ndi munthu wina. * Ndipotu anthu amene ndimakondana nawo kwambiri ndi amenenso amandipsetsa mtima kwabasi, mwina chifukwa choti sindiyembekezera kuti iwowa angachite zondipsetsa mtima.” M’banja lachikhristu, mwamuna kapenanso mkazi amayembekezera kuti mnzakeyo azichita zabwino, chifukwa choti onse amadziwa mfundo zapamwamba za m’Baibulo za makhalidwe abwino. (Aefeso 5:24, 25) Komabe, chifukwa choti onse ndi opanda ungwiro, nthawi zina amachita zinthu zolakwika. Baibulo limati: “Onse ndi ochimwa ndipo ndi operewera pa ulemerero wa Mulungu.”—Aroma 3:23; 5:12.

Choncho musadabwe makolo anu akamasemphana maganizo pazinthu zina. Ndipotu mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti anthu okwatirana adzakhala ndi “nsautso m’thupi mwawo,” kapena malinga ndi Baibulo linalake, (lotchedwa The New English Bible) “adzapwetekedwa mtima ndiponso adzakhala ndi chisoni.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Zina mwa zinthu zimene zingachititse kuti makolo anu azisiyana maganizo ndi mavuto a kuntchito, a paulendo, ndiponso a zachuma.

Kudziwa kuti makolo anu ndi opanda ungwiro, ndiponso kuti nthawi zina amakumana ndi mavuto ena, kungakuthandizeni kuwamvetsa akamakangana. Izi n’zimene Mphatso anaona. Iye anati: “Zikuoneka kuti masiku ano makolo anga akumakangana kawirikawiri, ndipo nthawi zina ndimaona kuti mwina atopetsana. Koma kenaka ndimakumbukira kuti iwowa akhala m’banja kwa zaka 25 ndipo akusamalira ana asanu. Iyitu si ntchito yamasewera ayi.” Nanunso ‘muzimvera chisoni’ makolo anu poganizira za udindo waukulu umene ali nawo.—1 Petulo 3:8.

Zimene Zingakuthandizeni

Zindikirani kuti makolo anu n’ngopanda ungwiro ndiponso kuti tsiku lililonse amakumana ndi mikwingwirima yambirimbiri. Komabe, kodi mungatani akayamba kukangana? Yesani kutsatira malangizo otsatirawa:

▪ Musalowerere. (Miyambo 26:17) Kumbukirani kuti mulibe udindo wokhazika pansi makolo anu akakangana chifukwa si inu ankhoswe awo. Komanso zinthu zingakutsalireni ngati mutayesa kulowerera mkanganowo. Mtsikana wina wa zaka 18 dzina lake Madalitso anati: “Ndinayesapo kuthetsa mkangano wamakolo anga, koma anandikalipira n’kundiuza kuti sizikundikhudza.” Ingowasiyani makolo anuwo kuti athetse okha mkanganowo.

▪ Onani zinthu moyenerera. (Akolose 3:13) Monga tanenera kale, sikuti makolo akamakangana ndiye kuti basi ukwati wawo watsala pang’ono kutha. Choncho musamade nkhawa  kwambiri ngati nthawi zina makolo anu amasemphana maganizo pang’ono. Ponena za makolo ake, mtsikana wina wa zaka 20 dzina lake Chimwemwe anati: “Ngakhale atakangana chotani, ndimadziwa kuti amakondanabe ndipo amatikondanso ana tonsefe. Ndimadziwanso kuti athetsa mkanganowo pa uwiri wawo.” Zimene ananena Chimwemwezi zingagwirenso ntchito kwa inuyo.

▪ Pemphererani nkhaniyo. Musalole kuti nkhawa zizingounjikana mu mtima mwanu. Baibulo limati: “Um’senze Yehova nkhawa zako, ndipo Iye adzakugwiriziza.” (Salmo 55:22) Pemphero lingakuthandizeni kwambiri. Mtumwi Paulo analembera Afilipi kuti: “Zopempha zanu zidziwike kwa Mulungu. Mukatero, mtendere wa Mulungu wopambana luntha lonse la kulingalira, udzateteza mitima yanu ndi maganizo anu mwa Khristu Yesu.”—Afilipi 4:6, 7.

▪ Onani za moyo wanu. Si nzeru kulimbana kwambiri ndi zinthu zimene simungazisinthe chifukwa zikhoza kungokudwalitsani. Baibulo limati: “Nkhawa iweramitsa mtima wa munthu; koma mawu abwino aukondweretsa.” (Miyambo 12:25) Kuti muchepetse nkhawa, muzicheza ndi anthu amene amakulimbikitsani ndiponso muzichita zinthu zosiyanasiyana zolimbikitsa.

▪ Auzeni mmene mukumvera. Musalowerere mikangano ya makolo anuyo, koma ingowauzani mmene zimenezi zikukukhudzirani. Pezani nthawi yabwino yoti mulankhule ndi bambo kapena mayi anu pawokha. (Miyambo 25:11) Lankhulani ‘mofatsa ndiponso mwa ulemu waukulu.’ (1 Petulo 3:15) Musawadzudzule, koma ingowafotokozerani mmene inuyo mukumvera chifukwa cha mikangano yawoyo.

Yambani kutsatira malangizo omwe tatchulawa kuti muone mmene zikhalire. Mungadabwe kuona makolo anu atasintha. Ngakhale makolo anu atapanda kusintha, simudandaula chifukwa panopa mwadziwa chochita akamakangana.

Nkhani zina zakuti “Zimene Achinyamata Amafunsa,“ mungazipeze pa adiresi yathu ya pa Intaneti ya www.pr418.com.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

▪ Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani makolo anu amakangana nthawi zina?

▪ Kodi mungamulangize chiyani mng’ono wanu amene ali wokhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa cha kukangana kwa makolo anu?

[Chithunzi patsamba 20]

Mawu kwa Makolo

N’zoona kuti m’banja simulephera mikangano. Koma nkhani yagona poti kodi inuyo panokha mumathetsa bwanji mikanganoyo? Ana anu amasokonezeka kwambiri inuyo mukamakangana. Nkhaniyi musaitenge mwamasewera, chifukwatu ana anuwo akadzalowa m’banja azidzachita zimene mukuwaonetsazo. (Miyambo 22:6) Motero mukasemphana mawu, uzikhala mwayi wanu wopereka chitsanzo cha mmene mungathetsere nkhani popanda kukangana. Tayesani kuchita zinthu zotsatirazi:

Mvetserani. Baibulo limatiuza kuti tizikhala ‘ofulumira kumva, odekha polankhula, osafulumira kukwiya.’ (Yakobe 1:19) Musakolezere moto ‘pobwezera choipa pa choipa.’ (Aroma 12:17) Ngakhale mukaona kuti mwamuna wanu kapena mkazi wanu safuna kumvetsera zimene mukumuuza, inuyo muzimumvetserabe.

Yesetsani kufotokoza maganizo anu osati kudzudzula mnzanuyo. Fotokozerani mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo modekha kuti zimene wachitazo zakupwetekani. (Muzinena mawu monga akuti: “Zimandiipira mukachita zakutizakuti.”) Pewani kumudzudzula. (Musamanene mawu monga akuti: “Simusamala n’komwe za ine ayi,” kapena akuti: “Simumva ndikamakuuzani zinthu.”)

Isiyeni Kaye Nkhaniyo. Nthawi zina ndi bwino kuisiya kaye nkhaniyo n’kuiyambiranso mitima ikabwerera m’malo. Baibulo limati: “Chiyambi cha ndewu chifanana ndi kutsegulira madzi; tsono kupikisana kusanayambe tasiya makani.”—Miyambo 17:14.

Muzipepesana komanso muziwapepesa ana anu ngati n’kotheka. Chikumbutso, yemwe ali ndi zaka 14, anati: “Nthawi zina makolo anga akakangana amandipepesa ineyo ndiponso mchimwene wanga, chifukwa amadziwa kuti sitisangalala nazo.” Chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri zimene mungaphunzitse ana anu ndicho kunena modzichepetsa kuti: “Pepani ndalakwa.”

Kuti mudziwe zambiri za nkhaniyi onani Galamukani! ya January 8, 2001 tsamba 8 mpaka 14, ndi ya February 8, 1994 tsamba 19 mpaka 28.

[Chithunzi patsamba 19]

Musawadzudzule, koma ingowafotokozerani mmene inuyo mukumvera chifukwa cha mikangano yawoyo