Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

N’chifukwa Chiyani Makolo Anga Sandikhulupirira?

“Ndimafuna kuti makolo anga azindilola kumachitako zinthu zakumtima kwanga. Sikuti ndimafuna kulowerera ayi. Mwachitsanzo, ndimafuna kukaona mayi anga aang’ono popanda kuda nkhawa kuti ndikatero mayi anga ayamba kuganiza kuti ndikufuna kuwachokera.”—Anatero Sarah, yemwe ali ndi zaka 18. *

“Nthawi zonse ndikafuna kupita kwinakwake ndi anzanga ndimakangana ndi makolo anga chifukwa choti amandiletsa. Nthawi zambiri amangondiuza kuti: ‘Sikuti timakukayikira ayi, kungoti anzako aja sitiwakhulupirira.’ Kunena zoona, mawu amenewa amandiipira kwambiri.”—Anatero Christine, yemwe ali ndi zaka 18.

NKHANI ya kukhulupirira munthu ili ngati nkhani ya ndalama. Ndalama zimavuta kupeza koma sizivuta kuwononga, ndipo ngakhale atakupatsa ndalama zambiri motani, sizikukwanira. Illiana, yemwe ali ndi zaka 16 anati: “Nthawi zonse ndikafuna kuchokapo, makolo anga amandifunsa zimafunso zambirimbiri, kuti adziwe kumene ndikupita, anthu amene ndikupita nawo, zimene ndikukachita, ndiponso nthawi imene ndikabwereko. Inde, ndikudziwa kuti ndi makolo, koma zimandinyansa akamandifunsa mafunso ambirimbiri chonchi.”

Kodi nthawi zina mumaona kuti makolo anu sakukhulupirirani kwambiri? Ngati mumaona choncho, kodi mungatani kuti azikukhulupirirani? Choyamba, tiyeni tione chifukwa chimene nkhani ya kukhulupirirana ili yovuta kwabasi pakati pa makolo ambiri ndi ana awo.

Kukula N’kovuta

Baibulo limanena kuti “mwamuna adzasiya atate wake ndi amake.” (Genesis 2:24) Tinganenenso kuti mkazi adzasiya amayi ake n’kudziphatika kwa mwamuna wake. Kaya ndinu mnyamata kapena mtsikana, dziwani kuti muli pamsinkhu wokukonzekeretsani kudzakhala munthu wolongosoka, wotha kukhala payekha n’kumasamalira banja lake.

Komabe, sikuti munthu amangokula tsiku limodzi n’kuchoka panyumba n’kumakakhala payekha. Kukula kuli ngati kukwera masitepe. Paunyamata wanu wonse mumakhala ngati mukukwera sitepe imodziimodzi mpaka kufika pokula. Komano inuyo ndi makolo anu mungasiyane maganizo pankhani yakuti mwakwera masitepewo kufika pati. Maria amaona kuti makolo ake sakhulupirira kuti amasankha bwino anthu oyenda nawo, ndipo anati: “Panopo ndili ndi zaka 20 ndipo ine ndi makolo anga timavutanabe pankhani imeneyi. Iwowo amaona kuti ineyo sindingathe kuchoka ngati nditaona kuti anzanga ayamba kuchita zosayenera. Ndakhala ndikuwauza kuti ndachitapo kale zimenezi nthawi zingapo, koma sandikhulupirirabe.”

Mawu a Maria akusonyeza kuti nkhani ya  kukhulupirirana ndi yovuta kwambiri pakati pa ana ena ndi makolo awo. Kodi ndi mmene zilili m’banja lanu? Ngati zili choncho kodi mungatani kuti makolo anu azikukhulupirirani? Mungatani ngati makolo anu anasiya kukukhulupirirani chifukwa cha zinazake zimene munachita?

Muzikhulupirika

Mtumwi Paulo analemba izi kwa Akhristu a m’nthawi yake: “Pitirizani kudzidziwa nokha motsimikiza kuti ndinu otani.” (2 Akorinto 13:5) N’zoona kuti pamenepa Paulo sanali kunena za achinyamata. Komabe mfundo yake ingagwirenso ntchito kwa achinyamata. Munthu akamakonda kuchita zokhulupirika ena amayambanso kumukhulupirira. Pamenepa sitikutanthauza kuti muzichita zinthu zonse mwangwiro. Palibe amene salakwitsa. (Mlaliki 7:20) Komabe kodi zinthu zambiri zimene mumachita zimachititsa kuti makolo anu asamakukhulupirireni?

Mwachitsanzo, Paulo analemba kuti: “Timafuna kuchita zinthu zonse moona mtima.” (Aheberi 13:18) Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndimawauza zoona zokhazokha makolo anga pankhani ya kumene ndikupita ndi zimene ndikuchita?’ Taonani zimene ananena achinyamata angapo amene anaganizira mofatsa za nkhani imeneyi.

Lori: “Ndinkalemberana makalata achinsinsi ndi kamnyamata kenakake. Makolo anga atadziwa anandiuza kuti zilekeke. Ndinawalonjeza kuti ndisiya, koma ndinapitiriza kuchita zimenezi kwa chaka chathunthu. Ndinkalembabe makalatawo ndipo makolo anga akandipezerera ndinkapepesa n’kulonjeza kuti sindidzabwerezanso, koma kenaka ndinkamulemberanso. Zimenezi zinapangitsa kuti makolo anga asiyiretu kundikhulupirira.”

Kodi mukuganiza kuti makolo a Lori anasiyiranji kumukhulupirira, ndipo Lori anayenera kuchita chiyani makolo ake atamuletsa koyamba kulemberana makalata ndi mnyamatayo? Lembani mayankho anu pamunsipa.

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Beverly: “Makolo anga sankandikhulupirira pankhani ya kucheza ndi anyamata, koma panopo ndinadziwa chifukwa chake. N’chifukwa choti ndinkazolowerana kwambiri ndi anyamata angapo amene anali aakulu kwa ineyo ndi zaka ziwiri. Komanso ndinkatha nthawi yaitali ndikulankhula nawo pafoni, ndipo tikakhala pagulu, nthawi yaitali ndinkangocheza ndi iwowo basi. Motero makolo anga anandilanda foni kwa mwezi wathunthu, ndipo anayamba kundiletsa kupita kulikonse kumene kuli anyamatawo.”

Kodi mukuganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani makolo a Beverly anasiya kumukhulupirira pa nthawi ina, ndipo kodi iyeyo akanatani kuti makolowo ayambenso kumukhulupirira?

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Annette: “Ndili ku sekondale, ineyo ndi mnzanga wina tinatenga mowa kuphwando ndipo aliyense anapita nawo kwawo, kuti tikamwe nthawi inayake, ngakhale kuti tinkadziwa kuti makolo athu sakasangalala nazo. Mowa wa mnzangayo anaupeza mayi ake. Kenaka zinadziwika kuti inenso ndinali ndi wanga. Chimene chinandikhudza kwambiri n’chakuti mayi anga anakhumudwa nazo kwabasi.”

Kodi Annette akanakhala kuti ndi mng’ono wanu, mukanamulangiza chiyani kuti mayi ake ayambirenso kumukhulupirira?

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 Mungatani Kuti Ayambenso Kukukhulupirirani?

Kodi mungatani ngati inunso makolo anu anasiya kukukhulupirirani chifukwa cha zimene munachita m’mbuyomo? Ngakhale zitakhala choncho dziwani kuti zinthu zingathe kusintha. Kodi zimenezi zingatheke bwanji?

N’zotheka kuti makolo anu ayambenso kukukhulupirirani ngati mutasintha khalidwe. Mwachitsanzo: Taganizirani kuti munthu watenga ngongole ku banki. Ngati atamabweza ngongoleyo pang’onopang’ono panthawi yake, a banki amamukhulupirira ndipo akhoza kudzamukongozanso ndalama zambiri m’tsogolo. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi panyumba. Ngati ndinu wokhulupirika ngakhale pa zinthu zazing’ono, makolo anu adzakukhulupirirani ngakhale pa zinthu zazikulu m’tsogolo.

Annette anazindikira mfundo imeneyi. Iye anati: “Munthu ukakhala wamng’ono sudziwa kuti kukhulupirika n’kofunika bwanji. Panopo ndikuona kuti ndine munthu woganiza bwino, ndipo ndimayesetsa kuchita zinthu zimene zingapangitse makolo anga kuti azindikhulupirira.” Kodi tikuphunzirapo chiyani pamenepa? M’malo mongodandaula kuti makolo anu sakukukhulupirirani, muziyesetsa kuchita zinthu zimene zingapangitse makolowo kukukhulupirirani.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi ndinu wokhulupirika pa zinthu zili m’munsizi? Chongani mfundo imene mukufunika kuyesetsa kusintha.

□ Kufika panyumba panthawi yabwino

□ Kusunga nthawi

□ Kumaliza ntchito

□ Kusesa kuchipinda kwanga

□ Kuimba foni

□ Kuchita zimene ndanena

□ Kusamala ndalama

□ Kudzuka nthawi yabwino osadikira kudzutsidwa

□ Kunena zoona zokhazokha

□ Kuvomereza zolakwa ndiponso kupepesa

□ Zina ․․․․․

Yesetsani kukhala wokhulupirika pa zinthu zimene mwachongazo. Tsatirani zimene Baibulo limanena, zakuti: “Muvule umunthu wakale umene umagwirizana ndi khalidwe lanu lakale.” (Aefeso 4:22) “Mukati Inde akhaledi Inde.” (Yakobe 5:12) “Aliyense wa inu alankhule zoona kwa mnansi wake.” (Aefeso 4:25) “Ananu, khalani omvera makolo anu pa zinthu zonse.” (Akolose 3:20) Mapeto ake, kupita patsogolo kwanu kudzadziwika kwa ena onse, ndi kwa makolo anu omwe.—1 Timoteyo 4:15.

Koma mungatani ngati mukuona kuti mukuyesetsa koma makolo anu sakukukhulupiriranibe? Alankhuleni. M’malo momangonena kuti iwowo azikukhulupirirani, afunseni mwaulemu kuti akuuzeni zimene mungachite kuti ayambenso kukukhulupirirani. Afotokozereni bwinobwino zolinga zanu.

Musayembekezere kuti makolo anu asintha nthawi yomweyo. N’zosakayikitsa kuti angayembekeze kaye kuti aone ngati mwatsimikizadi kuchita zimene mumanena. Zikatere yesetsani kuchita zinthu zokhulupirika. Patsogolo pake, makolo anu adzayamba kukukhulupirirani kwambiri. Ndi mmene zinalili ndi Beverly uja. “Inde, zimavuta kuti anthu ayambe kukukhulupirira koma sizivuta kuti asiye kukukhulupirira. Panopo makolo anga anayambanso kundikhulupirira ndipo ndimasangalala nazo kwabasi.”

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[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

▪ N’chiyani chingachititse kuti makolo anu asayambebe kukukhulupirirani ngakhale mutayesetsa kusonyeza kuti ndinu wokhulupirika?

▪ N’chifukwa chiyani kulankhulana ndi makolo anu kuli kofunika kuti makolo anu azikukhulupirirani?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 29]

Muziyesetsa kuchita zinthu zimene zingapangitse makolowo kukukhulupirirani

[Chithunzi patsamba 28]

Kukula n’kukhala munthu wolongosoka kuli ngati kukwera masitepe. Paunyamata wanu wonse mumakhala ngati mukukwera sitepe imodziimodzi mpaka kufika pokula

[Chithunzi]

(Onani m’magazini yeniyeni kuti mumvetse izi)

MUNTHU WAMKULU

WACHINYAMATA

MWANA