Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

Kodi Ndingatani Ngati M’bale Wanga Wadzipha?

Moyo wa Karen unasintha tsiku limene bambo ake anamuuza kuti “Sheila watisiyadi.” Karen ndi bambo ake anakumbatirana ndipo sanamvetse zimene zachitika. Sheila, mng’ono wake wa Karen, anali atadzipha. *

WACHINYAMATA akamwalira anthu ambiri amamvera chisoni makolo ake. Iwo amatha kuuza mchimwene kapena mchemwali wa munthu amene wamwalirayo kuti: “Komatu ndiye imfa imeneyi yawakhudza kwambiri makolo anu.” Koma amaiwala mmene m’bale wakeyo akumvera. N’chifukwa chake ena amati anthu ambiri salimbikitsa mnyamata kapena mtsikana amene m’bale wake wamwalira ngakhale kuti nayenso ndi namfedwa.

Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti achinyamata amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi imfa ya m’bale wawo. M’buku lake lina, Dr. P. Gill White analemba kuti: “Zimenezi zimasokoneza kwambiri thanzi la achinyamata. Zimasokonezanso khalidwe, kakhozedwe ka kusukulu ndiponso kakulidwe kawo. Ndipo amayamba kudzikayikira.”—Sibling Grief—Healing After the Death of a Sister or Brother.

Nawonso achinyamata osinkhukirapo zimawakhudza. Karen, amene tamutchula pamwambapa, anali ndi zaka 22 pamene mng’ono wake anadzipha. Nthawi zambiri ankaona kuti sangathe kupirira chisoni chake. Iye anati: “Sikuti ndinkamva chisoni kuposa makolo anga. Koma ndikuganiza kuti ndinkalephera kupirira ngati iwowo.”

Kodi inunso m’bale wanu anadzipha? Ngati zili choncho mwina mungamve ngati mmene anamvera Davide amene analemba kuti: “Ndapindika, ndawerama kwakukulu; ndimayenda woliralira tsiku lonse.” (Salmo 38:6) Kodi mungatani ngati mukumva chisoni kwambiri?

“Mwina Ndikanachita Zakutizakuti”

Mungathe kumadziimba mlandu ngati m’bale wanu wadzipha. Moti mungamaganize kuti, ‘mwina ndikanachita zakutizakuti m’bale wanga sakanadzipha.’ Ndipo izi zingaoneke ngati zoona. Chris anali ndi zaka 21 pamene mng’ono wake wa zaka 18 anadzipha ndipo anali ndi maganizo amenewa. Iye anati: “Ineyo ndinali munthu womaliza kulankhulana ndi mng’ono  wanga. Ndimadziimba mlandu poganiza kuti ndinayenera kudziwa kuti mng’ono wanga ali ndi vuto. Ndikuganiza kuti ndikanamusonyeza chidwi akanandiuza bwinobwino maganizo ake.”

Chisoni cha Chris chinakula kwambiri poganizira kuti sankagwirizana kwenikweni ndi mng’ono wakeyo. Modandaula iye anati: “Kalata imene mng’ono wanga anasiya inanena kuti sindinkamuchitira zinthu ngati kuti ndinedi mkulu wake. Ndikudziwa kuti ananena zimenezi chifukwa chosokonezeka maganizo, komabe zimandipweteka kwambiri.” Zimenezi zimapweteka kwambiri munthu akakumbukira kuti anakangana ndi m’bale wakeyo asanadziphe. Dr. White amene tam’tchula kumayambiriro uja, anauza olemba Galamukani! kuti: “Achinyamata ambiri amene m’bale wawo anadzipha anandiuza kuti amadandaula kwambiri akakumbukira mkangano umene anali nawo ndi m’bale wawoyo miyezi ingapo kapena zaka zingapo asanadziphe.”

Ngati mumadziimba mlandu chifukwa chakuti m’bale wanu wadzipha, ndi bwino kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi pali munthu amene angayang’anire munthu wina pa zonse zimene amachita?’ Karen anati “N’zovuta kuthetsa mavuto amene achititsa kuti munthuyo adziphe ndipo n’zovuta kuteteza munthuyo kuti asadziphe.”

Bwanji ngati mukukumbukirabe mawu opweteka amene munalankhula kwa m’bale wanuyo? Baibulo lingakuthandizeni kuona zinthu m’njira yoyenera. Limati: “Paja tonsefe timapunthwa nthawi zambiri. Ngati wina sapunthwa pa mawu, ameneyo ndi munthu wangwiro.” (Yakobe 3:2; Salmo 130:3) Kukumbukira zolakwa zimene munam’chitira m’bale wanuyo kapena mawu enaake amene munamunenera kumangowonjezera chisoni. Ngakhale kuti maganizo amenewa amapweteka, dziwani kuti siinu amene mwachititsa kuti adziphe. *

Limbani Mtima

Chisoni cha anthufe chimakhala chosiyanasiyana. Ena amalira pagulu ndipo sikuti kuchita zimenezi n’kulakwa. Baibulo limanena kuti Davide “analira ndi kulira kwakukulu ndithu” mwana wake Amnoni atamwalira. (2 Samueli 13:36) Ngakhale Yesu “anagwetsa misozi” chifukwa cha chisoni pamene bwenzi lake Lazaro, anamwalira.—Yohane 11:33-35.

Koma pali anthu ena amene salira m’bale wawo akamwalira mwadzidzidzi. Karen anati: “Thupi langa linangoti zii. Sindikanatha kuchitanso chilichonse.” Izi ndi zimene zimachitika m’bale wathu akadzipha. Dr. White anauza olemba Galamukani! kuti: “Munthu akadzipha, anthu otsala amasokoneza kwambiri maganizo moti saganizira kwambiri za chisoni chimene ali nacho. Anamfedwa ena salira panthawiyi, ndipo izi zimadabwitsa anthu owasamalira. Koma dziwani kuti panthawiyi anamfedwawo amakhala atasokonezeka kwambiri maganizo.”

Zingakutengereni nthawi kuti muzolowere  kukhala popanda m’bale wanuyo, ndipotu m’pomveka. Chris anati: “Banja lathu lili ngati mbiya imene ingasweke mosavuta chifukwa choti inaswekapo kale kenako n’kuilumikizanso. Moti panopo vuto lililonse limatisokoneza kwambiri.” Mfundo zotsatirazi zingakuthandizeni kulimba mtima:

▪ Pezani mavesi a m’Baibulo amene angakulimbikitseni ndipo muziwawerenga tsiku lililonse.—Salmo 94:19.

▪ Pezani munthu amene mungamuuze zakukhosi ndipo muuzeni mmene mukumvera. Kuuza munthu wina kungathandize kuti chisoni chanu chicheperepo.—Miyambo 17:17.

▪ Ganizirani kwambiri za chiyembekezo cha m’Baibulo chakuti akufa adzauka.—Yohane 5:28, 29.

Kulemba maganizo athu kumathandizanso kuti chisoni chathu chisakule kwambiri. Tayesani kugwiritsa ntchito bokosi limene lili pansipa.

Dziwani kuti “Mulungu ndi wamkulu kuposa mitima yathu ndipo amadziwa zonse.” (1 Yohane 3:20) Iye sali ngati anthu chifukwa amadziwa bwinobwino zinthu zonse zimene zinkam’vutitsa m’bale wanuyo maganizo. Inunso amakudziwani bwino kuposa mmene mumazidziwira. (Salmo 139:1-3) Motero dziwani kuti iye amamvetsa zimene zikukuchitikirani. Ngati muli ndi chisoni chosaneneka kumbukirani mawu a pa Salmo 55:22 amene amati: “Um’senze Yehova nkhawa zako, ndipo Iye adzakugwiriziza: Nthawi zonse sadzalola wolungama agwedezeke.”

Kulimbikitsa Anthu Oferedwa

Kuti mumve zimene mungachite munthu amene mumam’konda akamwalira, werengani kabuku kakuti Pamene Munthu Amene Mumakonda Amwalira, kofalitsidwa ndi Mboni za Yehova.

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[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

▪ Kodi mungauze ndani ngati mukumva chisoni kwambiri?

▪ Kodi mungathandize bwanji wachinyamata amene akumva chisoni kwambiri?

[Bokosi patsamba 20]

Kulemba maganizo anu n’kuwasunga kumathandiza kuti chisoni chanu chisakule kwambiri. Motero malizani ziganizo zimene zili m’munsimu ndipo yankhani mafunso otsatirawo.

▪ Zinthu zabwino zokhudza m’bale wanga zimene ndikukumbukira ndi izi:

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▪ Zinthu zimene ndikuganiza kuti ndikanamuuza m’bale wanga asanadziphe ndi izi:

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▪ Ngati pali mwana amene akudziimba mlandu chifukwa chakuti m’bale wake wadzipha, kodi mungamuuze chiyani?

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▪ Pamalemba awa, kodi ndi ati amene angakulimbikitseni ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani?

□ “Yehova ali pafupi ndi iwo a mtima wosweka, apulumutsa iwo a mzimu wolapadi.”​—⁠Salmo 34:⁠18.

□ “Pakuti sanapeputsa ndipo sananyansidwa ndi zunzo la wozunzika; ndipo sanam’bisira nkhope yake; koma pom’fuulira Iye, anamva.”​—⁠Salmo 22:⁠24.

□ “Idzafika nthawi pamene onse ali m’manda a chikumbutso adzamva mawu [a Yesu] ndipo adzatuluka.”​—⁠Yohane 5:​28, 29.