N’chiyani Chimayambitsa Mavutowo?

N’ZOSATHEKA kuti banja likhale lopanda mavuto. Ndipotu ngakhale mwamuna ndi mkazi amene akuyenerana kwambiri angasiyane maganizo pa zinthu zina. Choncho mavuto sangalephere m’banja. Pali zinthu zambiri zimene zingawononge banja ngati mmene dzimbiri lingawonongere chitsulo chopenta. Kuti timvetse zimene zingathandize kuti banja liziyenda bwino, tiyeni tione kaye zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto m’banja.

Tikukhala M’nthawi Zovuta Zedi

Baibulo linalosera kuti masiku ano anthu ambiri adzakhala “odzikonda, okonda ndalama, odzimva, odzikweza, . . . osayamika, osakhulupirika, opanda chikondi chachibadwa, osagwirizanitsika, odyerekeza, osadziletsa, owopsa, osakonda zabwino, achiwembu, aliuma, otukumuka chifukwa cha kunyada.” (2 Timoteyo 3:2-4) Makhalidwe amenewa amawonjezera kusamvana, kusemphana chichewa komanso khalidwe lokonda kulankhula mawu oipa la anthu opanda ungwirofe.

Munthu wina wochita kafukufuku wa zam’banja anati: “N’zodabwitsa kuti masiku ano ndi ovuta kwambiri kwa anthu a pabanja. Chifukwatu . . . pali malangizo ambiri othandiza kuti anthu akhale ndi mabanja abwino . . . Komabe tikukumana ndi mavuto ambiri azachikhalidwe komanso azachuma moti zikuvuta kukhala ndi mabanja olongosoka.”

Kuyembekeza Zambiri

Mlangizi wina wa zam’banja anati: “Kuyembekeza zambiri ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zikuluzikulu zimene zimayambitsa vuto lokhala osasangalala m’banja.” Anthu ambiri a pabanja amakhumudwa akazindikira kuti zimene ankayembekezera m’banja sizikuchitika. Amakhumudwanso akazindikira kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo ndi wosiyana ndi mmene ankamuonera asanakwatirane. Zimawapweteka kwambiri akaona kuti mnzawoyo ali ndi mavuto ena amene poyamba sankawadziwa kapena amene ankawaona ngati ndi otheka kungowanyalanyaza.

Koma Baibulo limanena momveka bwino kuti ukwati ungathe kubweretsa “zovuta zambiri m’moyo.” (1 Akorinto 7:28, Chipangano Chatsopano mu Chichewa cha Lero) N’chifukwa chiyani zili choncho? Chifukwa chimodzi n’chakuti anthu awiri opanda ungwiro akamakhala limodzi, zolakwa zawo zimayamba kuonekera.

Chinanso n’chakuti anthu ambiri amayembekezera kuti angakhale ndi banja losangalala popanda  kuchita khama lililonse. Chifukwa choganiza kuti munthu akangolowa m’banja amakhala wosangalala, iwo saganizira za udindo wawo ndiponso ntchito imene amafunika kuchita kuti banja likhale losangalala. Choncho amakhumudwa kwambiri akazindikira kuti zimene ankayembekezerazo sizikuchitika. Nthawi zambiri munthu amene amayembekezera zinthu zambiri m’banja kuposa mmene zimakhaliradi ndi amenenso amakhumudwa kwambiri.

Kusalankhulana Bwino

Pankhani ya kulankhulana, kodi ndi zinthu zotani zimene mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kupewa kuti azigwirizana? Ena samvetsera mnzawo akamalankhula ndipo ena amangolankhulana mwamwambo chabe. Zolankhulana mwachikondi zimatha ndipo amangolankhulana ngati anthu ongodziwana basi. Ndiye nthawi zonse amangopezeka kuti akungokangana pa zifukwa za zii. Kusamvetsetsana kumachititsa kuti anthuwo azikangana, ndipo kulankhulana mokhadzula kumachititsa kuti asiyiretu kulankhulana.

N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti m’mabanja ambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi saona makhalidwe abwino a mnzakeyo kapena amawaona ndithu koma sam’yamikira. Komanso chifukwa chakuti masiku ano akazi nawo amagwira ntchito yolembedwa, akazi ambiri amakhumudwa chifukwa amuna awo amawasiyira ntchito zapakhomo. Akazi ambiri amaonanso kuti sakondedwa kwenikweni.

Kodi mungatani kuti banja lanu liziyenda bwino? Taonani malangizo a m’Baibulo otsatirawa.

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 4]

Anthu ena okwatirana samvetsera mnzawo akamalankhula ndipo ena amangolankhulana mwamwambo chabe

[Chithunzi patsamba 5]

Anthu ambiri amayembekezera kuti angakhale ndi banja losangalala popanda kuchita khama lililonse