Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

N’chifukwa Chiyani Atsikana Amangondikana?

Ndikuganiza kuti ndamugometsa. Ndamuuza za zinthu zimene ndili nazo, malo amene ndayenda, ndiponso anthu amene ndimadziwana nawo. Andilola basi.

Ndikungofuna nthaka itang’ambika n’kundimeza. Kodi yekha sangadziwe kuti sindikumufuna? Kaya nditani kuti ndimukane mwaulemu?

MWAFIKA msinkhu woti mungakhale ndi chibwenzi ndipo mukufunafuna mtsikana wokusangalatsani komanso wachipembedzo chanu. (1 Akorinto 7:39) Komabe, m’mbuyomu mwayesapo kufunsira koma atsikana amangokukanani.

Ngati mukufuna kudziwana bwino ndi mtsikana winawake, kodi muyenera kukumbukira zinthu ziti? Ndipo kodi ndi mfundo ziti za m’Baibulo zimene muyenera kuziganizira?

Choyamba

Musanafunsire mtsikana amene mukumufuna, pali zinthu zina zofunika zimene muyenera kuzidziwa bwino, ndipo zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kucheza bwino ndi wina aliyense. Zinthu zake ndi izi:

▪ Khalidwe labwino. Baibulo limati: ‘Chikondi sichichita zosayenera.’ (1 Akorinto 13:5) Munthu wakhalidwe labwino amalemekeza ena ndipo amasonyeza khalidwe lofanana ndi la Khristu. Khalidwe labwino silili ngati malaya amene mumavala kuti anthu akuoneni kenako n’kuvula mukafika kunyumba. Dzifunseni kuti, ‘Ndikakhala ndi abale anga, kodi ndimawasonyeza khalidwe labwino?’ Ngati simuwasonyeza khalidwe labwino, zingakuvuteninso kusonyeza anthu ena khalidwe labwino. Muzidziwa khalidwe lanu, chifukwa mtsikana wanzeru angadziwe kuti ndinu wotani akangoona mmene mumakhalira ndi abale anu.—Aefeso 6:1, 2.

Atsikana amanena kuti: “Ndimakonda mnyamata amene amasonyeza khalidwe labwino pazinthu  zazing’ono monga kunditsegulira chitseko, komanso pazinthu zazikulu monga kuchitira ineyo ndi abale anga zinthu zabwino.”—Anatero Tina, wazaka 20. *

“Zimandikwiyitsa mnyamata akamandifunsa zinthu zoti sizikumukhudza, monga kuti ‘Uli ndi chibwenzi?’ Kapena ‘Umafuna kudzachita chiyani m’tsogolo?’ Mafunso amenewa ndi achipongwe ndipo sandisangalatsa.”—Anatero Kathy, wazaka 19.

▪ Ukhondo. Anthu amalemekeza munthu amene amadzilemekeza yekha. Ukhondo umasonyeza kuti mumadzilemekeza, ndipo enanso angakulemekezeni. (Mateyo 7:12) Choncho, n’zosavuta kuti mtsikana alole munthu waukhondo. Koma ngati ukhondo umakuvutani, n’zovuta kuti mtsikana akuloleni.

Atsikana amanena kuti: “Mnyamata wina amene ankandifuna ankanunkha m’kamwa kwambiri. Choncho ndinamukana.”—Anatero Kelly, wazaka 20.

▪ Muzidziwa kucheza ndi ena. Kuti muzigwirizana ndi anthu, muyenera kulankhula nawo bwino. Muzilankhula zinthu zokhudza anzanu m’malo mongolankhula zinthu zanu zokha.—Afilipi 2:3, 4.

Atsikana amanena kuti: “Ndimasangalala mnyamata akamacheza nane momasuka, akamakumbukira zinthu zimene ndinamuuza kapena akamafunsa mafunso anzeru.”—Anatero Christine, wazaka 20.

“Ndikuganiza kuti anyamata amakopeka ndi zinthu zimene amaona, koma atsikana amakopeka kwambiri ndi zinthu zimene amamva.”—Anatero Laura, wazaka 22.

“Mphatso n’zabwino. Koma ndimasangalala kwambiri ndi mnyamata wodziwa kucheza, amene angandiuze mawu olimbikitsa.”—Anatero Amy, wazaka 21.

“Ndingafune kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mnyamata amene amakamba nkhani zosangalatsa komanso amene amatha kukamba zinthu zofunika kwambiri.”—Anatero Kelly, wazaka 24.

Kugwiritsa ntchito mfundo zimene tafotokozazi, kungakuthandizeni kucheza bwino ndi ena. Komabe, ngati mukufuna kuchita chibwenzi ndi mtsikana wina, kodi mungatani?

Chachiwiri

▪ Muzisonyeza Chidwi. Ngati mukuona kuti mtsikana amene mukumufuna angakhale mkazi wabwino, musonyezeni kuti mumamukonda. Muuzeni momveka bwino maganizo anu. N’zoona kuti zingakuvuteni kuchita zimenezi chifukwa choopa kukanidwa. Komabe ngakhale atakukanani, kumuuza maganizo anu ndi umboni wakuti ndinu wolimba mtima.

Atsikana amanena kuti: “Sindingadziwe zimene zili m’maganizo mwake. Choncho ngati mnyamata akundifuna, ayenera kulimba mtima n’kundiuza chilungamo.”—Anatero Nina, wazaka 23.

“N’zovuta kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene wakhala mnzako kwa nthawi ndithu. Ndingalemekeze munthu amene angandifunsire m’malo monamizira kuti akufuna kukhala mnzanga.”—Anatero Helen, wazaka 25.

▪ Musam’kakamize kuti akuloleni. Kodi mungatani ngati mtsikana wakukanani? Musam’kakamize. Khulupirirani kuti iye akudziwa zimene akufuna ndipo ngati wakana, wakana basi. Ngati mtsikana wakukanani koma inu n’kumapitirizabe kumuvutitsa kapena kukwiya, ndiye kuti ndinu wodzikonda.—1 Akorinto 13:11.

Atsikana amanena kuti: “Zimandinyansa ndikakana mnyamata koma iye n’kumangondivutitsabe.”—Anatero Colleen, wazaka 20.

“Ndinauza mnyamata wina kuti sindikumufuna koma iye ankangolimbikirabe kuti ndim’patse nambala yanga ya foni. Sindinafune  kumuyankha zamwano. Ndipo zinkaonekanso kuti zikumuvuta kulimba mtima kuti andifunsire. Koma kenako ndinam’masula.”—Anatero Sarah, wazaka 23.

Zomwe Simuyenera Kuchita

Anyamata ena amaona kuti savutika kufunsira atsikana. Nthawi zina amafunsira atsikana ambirimbiri n’cholinga chopikisana ndi anzawo. Komabe, zimenezi ndi nkhanza ndiponso zingakuwonongereni mbiri. (Miyambo 20:11) Kuti mupewe zimenezo tsatirani malangizo awa:

▪ Musamakope atsikana popanda cholinga. Munthu amene amakopa atsikana amalankhula zabodza ndipo amachita zinthu zachinyengo. Sakhala ndi cholinga chodzakwatirana ndi munthuyo. Anthu amene amachita zimenezi amanyalanyaza malangizo a m’Baibulo akuti aziona ‘akazi achitsikana monga alongo awo, ndi chiyero chonse.’ (1 Timoteyo 5:2) Anthu amene ali ndi khalidwe limeneli, sapeza anzawo abwino ndiponso mabanja abwino. Atsikana anzeru amadziwa zimenezi.

Atsikana amanena kuti: “Sizisangalatsa mnyamata akakuuza mawu okopa amene ukudziwa kuti anamuuzanso mtsikana wina mwezi watha womwewu.”—Anatero Helen, wazaka 25.

“Mnyamata wina wooneka bwino anayamba kuchita zinthu zondikopa ndipo ankangodzichemerera. Patafika mtsikana wina, anayamba kumuuza zomwezo. Patafikanso mtsikana wina, anabwereza zomwezo. Zinandinyansa kwambiri.”—Anatero Tina, wazaka 20.

▪ Musamayese Atsikana. Musaganize kuti mungacheze ndi atsikana ngati mmene mungachezere ndi anyamata anzanu. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mutamuuza mnyamata mnzanu kuti wavala bwino kapena ngati mumamuuza zakukhosi kwanu, iye sangaganize kuti mukumufuna. Koma ngati zimenezi mutam’chitira mtsikana, iye angaganize kuti mukum’funa.

Atsikana amanena kuti: “Ndikuganiza kuti anyamata ambiri sadziwa kuti mmene angachezere ndi atsikana n’zosiyana ndi mmene angachezere ndi anyamata anzawo.—Anatero Sheryl, wazaka 26.

“Anyamata akatenga nambala yanga ya foni, amanditumizira uthenga. Kaya cholinga chawo chimakhala chiyani? Nthawi zina mungamacheze ndi munthu potumizirana uthenga pafoni mpaka n’kuyamba kukondana, koma pafoni sungalankhule zambiri.”—Anatero Mallory, wazaka 19.

“Ndikuganiza kuti anyamata sazindikira kuti atsikana sachedwa kukopeka ndi mnyamata womvetsa zinthu komanso wochezeka. Sikuti atsikana otere amakhala kuti asowa kolowera. Ndikuganiza kuti atsikana ambiri amafuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndipo nthawi zonse amafuna munthu wowayenera.”—Anatero Alison, wazaka 25.

Musamaganize Zosatheka

Kuganiza kuti atsikana onse angakuloleni, n’kupanda nzeru komanso kudzikonda. Koma ena angakuloleni ngati mukukumbukira kuti: Khalidwe lanu n’lofunika kwambiri kusiyana ndi maonekedwe anu. N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limatilimbikitsa kuvala “umunthu watsopano.”—Aefeso 4:24.

Mtsikana wina wazaka 21, dzina lake Kate, anati: “Anyamata amaganiza kuti atsikana amakopeka ndi mmene iwo avalira kapena mmene amaonekera. Ngakhale kuti maonekedwe ndi ofunika, ndikuganiza kuti atsikana ambiri amakopeka ndi mnyamata wakhalidwe labwino.” *

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[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

▪ Kodi mungasonyeze bwanji kuti mumadzilemekeza?

▪ Ngati mtsikana wakukanani, kodi mungasonyeze bwanji kuti mukulemekeza maganizo ake?

[Chithunzi patsamba 19]

Makhalidwe abwino sali ngati chovala chomwe mungavale kuti anthu akuoneni, n’kuchivula mukafika kunyumba