Mwina mwana wanu ali wamng’ono ankakonda kukuuzani chilichonse koma atangokula safunanso kucheza nanu. N’kutheka kuti mumati mukamulankhula amangoyankha mwachidule kapena amayankha mwamwano moti mumangokangana naye basi.

Komabe n’zotheka kulankhulana bwino ndi mwana wanu wachinyamata. Koma choyamba tiyeni tione zomwe zimachititsa kuti makolo azilephera kulankhulana bwino ndi ana awo achinyamata.

Amafuna ufulu wochita zinthu paokha. Mwana wanu wachinyamata akamakula amayamba pang’onopang’ono kuchita zinthu mwauchikulire. Achinyamata ena amafuna kuti makolo awo aziwapatsa ufulu wochita zinthu zambiri. Koma makolo ena amangopatsa ana awo ufulu wochepa. Zimenezi zimangoyambitsa mikangano pakati pa makolo ndi ana awo. Mwachitsanzo wachinyamata wina wazaka 16, dzina lake Brad, * ananena kuti: “Makolo anga safuna kuti ndizichita zinthu zina pandekha. Zimenezi zimandisowetsa mtendere kwambiri moti ngati ndidzafike zaka 18 asanasinthe, ndidzachoka pakhomo n’kumakakhala kwina.”

Amayamba kuganiza mwauchikulire. Ana aang’ono amati akauzidwa zinazake amangozikhulupirira, pomwe achinyamata amatha kuganiziranso mfundo zina zokhudza zinthuzo. Zimenezi zimathandiza kuti wachinyamata azitha kuganiza mwauchikulire. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mayi wagula filizesi muwiri n’kugawaniza ana ake awiri filizesi m’modzim’modzi, anawo amaona kuti mayiwo wachita zinthu mosakondera. Pamenepa anawo amangoona kuti kuchita zinthu mosakondera ndi kumupatsa aliyense chinthu chofanana ndi chimene winanso walandira. Koma akakhala achinyamata amaona zinthu mosiyana ndi ana. Iwo amadziwa kuti nthawi zina munthu akhoza kuchitira anthu awiri zinthu zosiyana koma zili zachilungamo. Amadziwanso kuti nthawi zina munthu akhoza kuchitira anthu awiri zinthu zofanana koma zili zopanda chilungamo kwa munthu winayo. Kuganiza mwauchikulire kumathandiza achinyamata kuti azitha kulimbana ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana. Komabe nthawi zina chifukwa choganiza mwanjira imeneyi, achinyamata amayamba kulimbana ndi makolo awo.

Muzipeza nthawi yocheza nawo. Muzicheza ndi ana anu pa zochitika zosiyanasiyana. Mwachitsanzo, makolo ena amaona kuti ana awo achinyamata amamasuka kucheza nawo akakhala kuti akugwira nawo ntchito inayake kapena akamayenda nawo. Iwo amaona kuti zimenezi n’zothandiza m’malo mochita kupeza nthawi yapadera yocheza nawo.—Lemba lothandiza: Deuteronomo 6:6, 7.

Muzinena zinthu mwachidule. Sikuti nthawi zonse mukafuna kuuza mwana wanu zinazake muzifotokoza zinthu zambirimbiri kapena kumangomupatsa malangizo. Koma muzingonena mfundo yofunikayo basi. Nthawi zambiri mukauza mwana wanu mfundo inayake, amaiganizira akakhala payekha.—Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 1:1-4.

Muzimumvetsera komanso muzilolera. Mwana wanu wachinyamata akamakufotokozerani vuto linalake, muzikhala tcheru kuti mumvetse bwino vuto lakelo. Muzimuyankha mwanzeru ndipo musamangokakamira kuti mwanayo azitsatira malamulo amene munakhazikitsa. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Makolo akamapanikiza ana awo achinyamata ndi malamulo, anawo amayamba kuchita zinthu mwamseri. Amayamba kumangomvera n’cholinga choti asangalatse makolo awo kwinaku n’kumachita zinthu zina mwamseri.” (Staying Connected to Your Teenager)—Lemba lothandiza: Afilipi 4:5.

Musamafulumire kupsa mtima. Mtsikana wina wazaka 17, dzina lake Kari, ananena kuti: “Amayi anga sachedwa kukwiya tikakhala kuti sitinagwirizane chinachake. Zikatero inenso ndimapsa mtima ndipo timayamba kukangana.” Choncho m’malo mofulumira kupsa mtima, muzilankhula mawu osonyeza kuti mukumvetsa mmene akumvera. Mwachitsanzo, akakuuzani vuto linalake, m’malo monena kuti, “Aa, imeneyonso ndi nkhani?” muzimuuza kuti, “Usade nkhawa, zimenezi zitha.”—Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 10:19.

Musamafune kuti nthawi zonse azichita zomwe mukufuna. Muzithandiza mwana wanu kuti azitha kuganiza komanso kuchita zinthu mwauchikulire. Choncho akakumana ndi mavuto muzilola kuti aganizire yekha njira yabwino yothetsera mavutowo. Mukamakambirana naye za mavutowo, muzimulola kunena zimene akufuna kuchita pothana ndi vutolo. Ndiyeno akapeza njirazo mungamuuze kuti: “Chabwino, koma ndikuganiza kuti pali njira zinanso. Ndiye zingakhale bwino kuti uiganizirenso nkhaniyi mwina kwa masiku awiri kapena atatu, kenako tidzakambiranenso njira zimene wapeza komanso chifukwa chake ukuona kuti njirazo ndi zabwino.”—Lemba lothandiza: Aheberi 5:14.