Tiyerekezere kuti nthawi zonse inuyo ndi mwana wanu wazaka 4 simugwirizana. Mukamuuza kuti achite zinazake, amakana ndipo nthawi zambiri inuyo mumangochita zofuna za mwanayo.

• Mukamuuza kuti achite zinthu zina zimene sakufuna, sakuyankhani ndipo amangokhala ngati sanamve.

• Mukamuletsa kuchita zinazake, amayamba kuvuta.

Mumadabwa ndi zimene amachitazi ndipo mumadzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi akuchita zimenezi chifukwa choti ndi mwana, akadzakula adzasiya?’

Ngakhale zimaoneka kuti n’zovuta, mungathe kuphunzitsa mwana wanu kuti azikumverani. Koma tisanakambirane zimene mungachite, tiyeni tione zimene zimachititsa kuti mwana wanu asamakumvereni.

Mwana wanu atangobadwa, munkafunika kumusamalira pa chilichonse. Akangolira, nthawi yomweyo munkathamanga kuti mukaone kuti akulira chiyani ndipo munkamuchitira chilichonse chimene akufuna. Kuchita zimenezi kulibe vuto lililonse chifukwa ndi udindo wa kholo kusamalira mwana wake.

Popeza mwana akakhala wamng’ono makolo amamuchitira chilichonse, mwanayo amazolowera zimenezi ndipo amayamba kuona kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri kuposa aliyense. Koma akamakwanitsa zaka ziwiri, amaona kuti zinthu zayamba kusintha. Amaona kuti makolo ake sakumuchitiranso zinthu zina zimene akufuna. Amaonanso kuti iyeyo akufunikira kumvera makolo akewo. Ana ambiri zimawavuta kuvomereza zimenezi, choncho amayamba kuvuta. Pomwe ena amakana dala kuchita zimene makolo awo awauza kuti aone zomwe makolowo angachite.

Imeneyi ndi nthawi yomwe muyenera kusintha mmene mumachitira zinthu ndi mwanayo. Mufunika kumuthandiza kuzindikira kuti inuyo ndi amene muyenera kumamuuza zochita. Nanga bwanji ngati mwana wanu safuna kuti muzimuuza zochita ngati mmene zilili m’chitsanzo chili kumanzerechi?

Muzimuuza zochita. Mwana wanuyo sangakhale womvera ngati nthawi zonse mumangochita zimene iyeyo akufuna. Mwanayo ayenera kudziwa kuti monga makolo ake, muli ndi udindo womuuza zochita ndipo iyeyo ayenera kumakumverani. Koma m’zaka zapitazi, akatswiri ena opereka malangizo  olerera ana ankapangitsa anthu kuganiza kuti kulera ana m’njira imeneyi ndi nkhanza. Ndipo katswiri wina ananena kuti makolo amene amachita zimenezi, ali ndi “khalidwe loipa” ndipo akuchita “zosemphana ndi chikhalidwe.” Komabe makolo akamangolekerera ana kuti azichita zimene akufuna, anawo sadziwa zoyenera kuchita, amaona ngati akhoza kuchita chilichonse komanso amadziona ngati ndi ofunika kwambiri. Izi zimachititsa kuti anawo akadzakula azidzalephera kuchita zinthu ngati anthu aakulu.—Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 29:15.

Muzimupatsa chilango. Buku lina lotanthauzira mawu linanena kuti chilango chimathandiza munthu kukhala womvera komanso wodziletsa. Koma zimenezi sizitanthauza kuti muyenera kulanga mwana wanu mwankhanza. Cholinga chanu polanga mwanayo chizikhala kumuthandiza kuti asinthe.—Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 23:13.

Muzimuuza momveka bwino zimene mukufuna kuti achite. Makolo ena akafuna kuti mwana wawo achite zinazake, amachita kumupempha. Mwachitsanzo anganene kuti: “Kodi ungaseseko pakhondepo?” Angachite zimenezi pofuna kum’phunzitsa mwanayo kulankhula mwaulemu. Koma kuchita zimenezi kungapangitse mwanayo kuganiza kuti ali ndi ufulu wosankha kuchita kapena kusachita zimene makolo ake amupempha. Choncho m’malo momupempha, muyenera kumuuza momveka bwino zimene akuyenera kuchita.—Lemba lothandiza: 1 Akorinto 14:9.

Musamasinthesinthe. Mukamuletsa mwana wanu kuti asachite chinachake, musamasinthe maganizo. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu waletsa mwana kuchita zinazake, inuyo muyenera kugwirizana nazo. Ndiponso ngati mwamuuza kuti akapanda kumvera alandira chilango chinachake, muyenera kumupatsadi chilangocho. Mukamuuza kuti achite zinazake, palibe chifukwa choti muyambe mwakambirana naye kapena kumuuza chifukwa chake. Zingakhale zosavuta kuti azikumverani ngati nthawi zonse, ‘mukati Inde amakhaladi Inde ndipo mukati Ayi amakhaladi Ayi.’—Yakobo 5:12.

Muzichita zinthu mwachikondi. Simuyenera kuchitira nkhanza ana anu. Komabe si bwinonso kumangowalekerera. Mulungu amafuna kuti makolo azilera mwachikondi ana awo kuti akule bwino. Kuti zimenezi zitheke, muyenera kumalangiza mwana wanu kapena kum’patsa chilango choyenera. Zimenezi zingathandize mwanayo kuti azikumverani komanso kuti adziwe zoti mumamukonda.