KODI mungatani ngati nthawi zonse mumangokhalira kukangana ndi anthu a m’banja lanu? N’kutheka kuti mumakonda kwambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu komanso anthu ena a m’banja lanu. Komabe mwina mumadabwa kuti mavuto m’banja lanu sati ayambika liti, ndipo kuti athe pamakhala matatalazi. Ngakhale zili choncho, dziwani kuti pali zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti muthane nawo.

Muyenera kudziwa kuti ngati nthawi zina mumakangana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, sizikutanthauza kuti banja lanu litha basi. Dziwaninso kuti banja lililonse limakumana ndi mavuto, koma nkhani imagona pa zimene mumachita kuti muthetse mavutowo. Ndiye tiyeni tione zinthu 6 zimene zingakuthandizeni kuti musamakangane.

Anthu amakangana chifukwa choti aliyense akulephera kuugwira mtima. Koma ngati wina atasiya kuyankhula n’kuyamba kumvetsera zimene winayo akunena, mkanganowo umatha. Choncho mukakwiya, musamayankhane ziphaliwali. Mungachite bwino kumaugwira mtima ndipo zimenezi zingachititse kuti mnzanuyo azikulemekezani. Kumbukirani kuti kukhala mwamtendere ndi anthu a m’banja lanu n’kofunika kwambiri kuposa kusonyeza mnzanuyo kuti ndiye wolakwa.

“Popanda nkhuni moto umazima, ndipo popanda munthu wonenera anzake zoipa mikangano imazilala.”—Miyambo 26:20.

Kuti muzikhala mwamtendere, muziyesetsa kumvetsera mnzanu akamayankhula. Komanso ndi bwino kupewa kumuweruza kapena kumudula mawu. Choncho m’malo moganiza kuti akufuna kuyambana nanu, mungachite bwino kumaganizira mmene akumvera. Nthawi zambiri munthu angayankhule mawu opweteka chifukwa choti sanaganize bwino kapena chifukwa choti wakhumudwa. Choncho, si bwino kumakokomeza kwambiri zolakwika zimene mnzathu wachita, chifukwa aliyense amalakwitsa.

“Chotero monga ochita kusankhidwa ndi Mulungu, oyera ndi okondedwa, valani chifundo chachikulu, kukoma mtima, kudzichepetsa, kufatsa, ndi kuleza mtima.”—Akolose 3:12.

Mukaona kuti mwapsa mtima, mungachite bwino kuchokapo n’kupita kwinakwake kuti mtima wanu ukhale pansi. Mwina mungapite kukayenda kapena kukachita zinazake. Kuchita zimenezi kungathandize kuti mupeze mpata wopempha Mulungu kuti akuthandizeni kukhala woleza mtima komanso kuti mukhale woganiza bwino. Koma si bwino kumakana kuthetsa nkhaniyo kapena kusiyiratu kuyankhulana ndi mnzanuyo pofuna kumukhaulitsa.

“Mkangano usanabuke, chokapo.”—Miyambo 17:14.

Anthu ena akakwiya amangoyankhula mwa payerepayere. Koma kuchita zimenezi si kothandiza chifukwa kumangochititsa kuti zinthu zizingoipiraipirabe. Choncho, mungachite bwino kumayankhula mwaulemu n’cholinga choti mnzanuyo mtima wake ukhale pansi. M’malo momangoganiza kuti mwina wakhumudwa ndi chakutichakuti, ndi bwino kumufunsa kuti akufotokozereni chimene chamukhumudwitsacho. Kenako muthokozeni chifukwa chokufotokozerani maganizo ake.

“Pali munthu amene amalankhula mosaganizira ndi mawu olasa ngati lupanga, koma lilime la anthu anzeru limachiritsa.”—Miyambo 12:18.

Ngati munthu wina m’banja wakwiya, angayankhule kapena kuchita zinthu zimene zingachititsenso kuti anthu ena akwiye. Ndiye zikatere, ndi bwino kuugwira mtima n’kuyesetsa kupewa kuchita zinthu zomwe zingakolezere mavuto. Mungachitenso bwino kuyankhula mwaulemu komanso mosakweza mawu. Mukamayankhula ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, muzipewa kunena mawu ngati, “Simumandikonda inu” kapena “Simumandimvetsera ndikamayankhula.” M’malo mwake, mungamuuze mwaulemu zimene zakukhumudwitsani. Munganene kuti, “Ndimakhumudwa mukachita zakutizakuti.” Koma n’kupanda nzeru kumenyana, kukankhana, kutchulana mayina achipongwe kapena kuopsezana mukakwiya.

“Kuwawidwa mtima konse kwa njiru, kupsa mtima, mkwiyo, kulalata ndiponso mawu achipongwe zichotsedwe mwa inu limodzi ndi zoipa zonse.”—Aefeso 4:31.

Musamalole kumangoganizira za vutolo koma muziganizira zimene mungachite kuti mulithetse. Muzikumbukira kuti mukakangana, zimasonyeza kuti nonse mwalephera kuugwira mtima. Koma nonse mukakhala ndi cholinga chothetsa vutolo, zinthu zimayamba kuyenda bwino. Komanso ngakhale mukuona kuti inuyo si wolakwa, mungachitebe bwino kupepesa. Muzikumbukira kuti mwina zimene mwachita kapena zimene mwayankhula, zapangitsa kuti vutolo likule. Kuchita zimenezi kungathandize kuti muzikhala mwamtendere ndipo zingasonyeze kuti ndinu wodzichepetsa. Ndipo ngati mnzanu wakupepesani, muzimukhululukira ndi mtima wonse.

“Pita ukadzichepetse ndipo ukamuchonderere kwambiri mnzakoyo.”—Miyambo 6:3.

Mfundo zimene takambiranazi zingathandize kuti musiye kukangana. Koma kodi mungatani kuti banja lanu lizikhala losangalala komanso kuti musamangokhalira kukangana? Werengani nkhani yotsatirayi kuti mudziwe zimene mungachite.