Akatswiri ena amanena kuti munthu aliyense amamva chisoni motsatira ndondomeko inayake. Komabe chomwe tikudziwa n’choti aliyense amamva chisoni mosiyana ndi wina. Popeza anthu amakhudzidwa mosiyana akaferedwa, kodi ndiye kuti ena amakhala ndi chisoni chochepa pomwe ena amachita zinthu mokokomeza? Ayi sitingatero. N’zoona kuti kulira kumathandiza munthu akaferedwa komabe sitinganene kuti pali njira inayake yabwino kwambiri yosonyezera chisoni. Nthawi zambiri anthu amasonyeza chisoni potengera chikhalidwe chawo, umunthu wawo, zimene anakumana nazo pa moyo wawo komanso mmene imfayo yachitikira.

Anthu amene mnzawo kapena wachibale wawo wamwalira amasokonezeka ndipo sadziwa zoyenera kuchita. Komabe pali zinthu zina zomwe nthawi zambiri anthu omwe aferedwa amakonda kuchita ndipo zimenezi zimachitikiranso anthu ambiri. Mwachitsanzo zinthu zina zomwe zimakonda kuchitika ndi izi:

Kusokonezeka maganizo. Nthawi zambiri munthu akakhala ndi chisoni amangolira komanso amalakalaka ataonananso ndi womwalirayo. Nthawi zinanso amakhala wosangalala kapena kukwiya kwambiri. Zimenezi zimachitika akalota kapena kukumbukira zomwe womwalirayo ankachita. Wachibale kapena mnzathu akamwalira, zimakhala zovuta kukhulupirira komanso timasokonezeka maganizo. Tiina anafotokoza mmene anamvera mwamuna wake Timo, atamwalira mwadzidzidzi. Ananena kuti: “Thupi lonse linangoti zii moti poyamba sindinalire n’komwe. Ndinasokonezeka maganizo kwambiri ndipo ndinkangomva ngati mpweya wandithera. Sindinkamvetsa kuti chikuchitika n’chiyani.”

Kukhala ndi nkhawa, kukhumudwa komanso kudziimba mlandu. A Ivan ananena kuti: “Patangodutsa nthawi yochepa kuchokera pamene mwana wathu Eric anamwalira, ine ndi mkazi wanga Yolanda, tinkakhala okwiya kwambiri. Zimenezi zinali zachilendo kwambiri chifukwa tinali tisanazichitepo. Tinkadziimbanso mlandu komanso tinkaganiza kuti mwina panali zinazake zomwe tikanachita kuti timuthandize.” Mkazi wa Alejandro, anamwalira atadwala kwa nthawi yaitali. Izi zitachitika, Alejandro ananena kuti: “Poyamba ndinkaona kuti, ‘ngati Mulungu walola kuti ndikumane ndi zimenezi, ndiye kuti ndine munthu woipa kwambiri.’ Kenako ndinayamba kudziimba mlandu chifukwa choona kuti ndimaimba Mulungu mlandu wochititsa kuti mkazi wanga afe.” A Kostas omwe tawatchula koyambirira aja ananena kuti: “Nthawi ina ndinkaona kuti Sophia analakwitsa kumwalira. Kenako ndinadzayamba kudziimba mlandu chifukwa choganiza choncho. Ndipo kunena zoona sikuti iye anachita kufuna kuti amwalire.”

Kulephera kuganiza bwinobwino. Nthawi zina munthu amene ali ndi chisoni maganizo ake amasinthasintha ndipo zimakhala zovuta kumumvetsa. Mwachitsanzo, nthawi zina akhoza kunena kuti wamva mawu a womwalirayo kapena kumuona. Woferedwayo akhozanso kumavutika kuika maganizo ake pa zomwe akuchita komanso amaiwalaiwala. Tiina anafotokoza kuti: “Nthawi zina ndikamacheza ndi munthu wina ndinkapezeka kuti ndayamba kuganiza zina. Ndinkakumbukira zomwe zinkachitika pomwe mwamuna wanga Timo ankamwalira. Zinkandipweteka ndikamalephera kuika maganizo anga pa zomwe ndinkachita.”

Kufuna kukhala panokha. Anthu ena omwe ali ndi chisoni chifukwa choferedwa samasuka akakhala ndi anzawo. A Kostas ananena kuti: “Ndikamacheza pagulu lomwe anthu ake ndi mabanja, ndinkadziona ngati mlendo. Komanso ndikamacheza pagulu la anthu omwe sali pabanja, ndinkamvanso chimodzimodzi.” Nawonso a Yolanda anafotokozanso kuti: “Sindinkamva bwino ndikamacheza ndi anthu omwe ankadandaula za mavuto awo. Ndinkaona kuti mavuto awo ndi aang’ono ndikawayerekezera ndi athu. Nthawi zinanso anthu ena ankatiuza zinthu zabwino zomwe ana awo ankachita. Zinkandichititsa chidwi koma kwinaku ndinkamvanso kupweteka mumtima. Ngakhale kuti ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinkakambirana kuti, ‘basi madzi akatayika sawoleka, tingoyang’ana kutsogolo,’ zinkativuta kuvomereza komanso kukhala oleza mtima.”

 Kusokonezeka kwa thanzi. Nthawi zambiri anthu amene ali ndi chisoni, salakalaka chakudya, amaonda komanso sagona mokwanira. Aaron anafotokoza zomwe zinkamuchitikira patadutsa chaka kuchokera pamene bambo ake anamwalira. Iye ananena kuti: “Ndinkalephera kugona. Usiku uliwonse ndinkadzuka, n’kuyamba kuganizira za bambo anga.”

Alejandro anafotokozanso kuti ankangomva ngati akudwala. Iwo ananena kuti: “Maulendo angapo omwe dokotala anandiyeza, ankapeza kuti ndilibe matenda aliwonse. Ndinaona kuti zimenezi zinkachitika chifukwa chosokonezeka ndi chisoni.” Pang’ono ndi pang’ono ndinayamba kupezanso bwino. Ndipotu Alejandro anachita bwino kwambiri kukaonana ndi dokotala. Chisoni chikhoza kuchepetsa chitetezo cha m’thupi, kuwonjezera vuto lomwe linalipo kale komanso kubweretsa mavuto ena m’thupi.

Kulephera kuchita zinthu zofunika. A Ivan ananenanso kuti: “Mwana wathu Eric atamwalira, tinkafunika kudziwitsa achibale, anzake komanso anthu ena. Tinkafunikanso kuuza abwana ake ndi a landilodi ake. Panalinso makalata ambiri a ku boma oti tisainire. Kenako tinayambanso kuonetsetsa kuti tasonkhanitsa zinthu zake zonse. Tinkafunika kuchita zonsezi ngakhale kuti tinali titasokonezeka maganizo.”

Kwa ena, chisoni chimawonjezereka kwambiri akafunika kuchita zinazake zomwe poyamba ankazichita ndi malemuyo. Zimenezi n’zomwe zinachitikira Tiina. Iye ananena kuti: “Mwamuna wanga Timo, ndi amene ankaonetsetsa mmene ndalama zathu zikuyendera ku banki komanso kuyang’anira bizinezi yathu. Tsopano mtolo wonsewu unagwera pa ine moti zinangondiwonjezera nkhawa. Ndiyeno ndinkadzifunsa kuti, ‘Koma ndikwanitsadi kupanga zimenezi pandekha?’”

Kuvutika maganizo, kusokonezeka kwa thanzi komanso mavuto ena omwe tawatchulawa, angachititse munthu amene ali ndi chisoni kuganiza kuti palibe chimene angachite kuti adzakhalenso wosangalala. N’zoona kuti munthu amene timamukonda akamwalira, zimakhala zopweteka kwambiri. Koma kudziwiratu zimene zimachitika kungatithandize kuti tithe kupirira. Komabe tisaiwale kuti zimene anthu ena amachita akakhala ndi chisoni, zimakhala zosiyana ndi ena. Anthu omwe aferedwa akhozanso kulimbikitsidwa akadziwa kuti kuvutika kwambiri ndi chisoni si nkhani yachilendo.

Zimene zimachitika: Munthu akaferedwa, sikuti amangokhalabe ndi chisoni mpaka kalekale. Nthawi ikamapita, chisonicho chimachepa. Apa sizikutanthauza kuti munthu woferedwayo amaiwaliratu za womwalirayo. Komabe nthawi zina akakumbukira zomwe zinachitika nthawi ina kapena tsiku linalake lapadera likafika, akhoza kuyambanso kumva chisoni. Ndipotu pakapita nthawi, anthu ambiri amayambiranso kukhala osangalala n’kumachita zinthu monga mwa nthawi zonse. Izi zimatheka ngati woferedwayo akulimbikitsidwa ndi anzake kapena achibale komanso ngati akutsatira njira zomuthandiza kupirira.

Kodi zimatenga nthawi yaitali bwanji? Kwa anthu ena zimawatengera miyezi kuti aiwale. Ambiri zingawatengere chaka chimodzi kapena ziwiri. Koma pali enanso omwe zingawatengere nthawi * ndithu. Alejandro ananena kuti: “Zinanditengera pafupifupi zaka zitatu ndikuvutikabe ndi chisoni.”

Muzichita zinthu modekha. Musamadzipanikize ndi zinthu zambiri ndipo muzikumbukira kuti nthawi ikamapita, chisoni chanu chidzachepa. Koma kodi pali zimene mungachite panopa kuti musamavutike kwambiri ndi chisoni komanso kuti chisakutengereni nthawi yaitali?