Mmene Mungapezere Mabwenzi

“KUKHALA NDI BWENZI LIMODZI PAMOYO WONSE NDI MWAYI; KUKHALA NDI AŴIRI NDI MWAYI WAUKULU; NDIPO KUKHALA NDI ATATU NDI MWAYI WOSOŴA KWAMBIRI.”​—Henry Brooks Adams.

MAWU amenewo akusonyeza kuti mabwenzi enieni n’ngosoŵa. Nthaŵi zambiri, anthu osungulumwa kwambiri amene akufuna atakhala ndi bwenzi, amakonda kunena mawu monga akuti “palibe amene angandithandize ine,” “sindingadalire aliyense,” kapena kuti “galu wanga ndiye mnzanga weniweni.”

Kupeza bwenzi ndi kusungitsa ubwenziwo kuti ukhale nthaŵi yaitali n’kovuta. Pa kufufuza komwe kunachitidwa pa anthu ogula zinthu ku United States, kunasonyeza kuti “mwa anthu akuluakulu 100 alionse, anthu 25 amakhala ‘osungulumwa kwa nthaŵi yaitali’ ndiponso kuti . . . ku France, theka la anthuŵa anasungulumwapo kwambiri nthaŵi ina.” Kuchuluka mofulumira kwa magulu a amuna ndi akazi omwe amakachezera limodzi, ndiponso njira yocheza ndi anthu kudzera pa kompyuta, ngakhalenso kuwonjezeka kwa anthu amene amafuna mabwenzi kudzera m’manyuzipepala kumasonyeza kuti anthu amakhumba kumachita zinthu ndi anthu anzawo.

Kusungulumwa kumakhudzanso thanzi la munthu osati nzeru zake zokha ayi, anatero Dr. David Weeks, katswiri wa zamitsempha ndi zamaganizo. “Ndili ndi odwala ambiri amene vuto lawo ndi mantha chifukwa cha nkhaŵa komanso kuvutika maganizo, amene tingawafotokoze kuti ndi osungulumwa. Pali kugwirizana pakati pa kuvutika maganizo kwakukulu ndi kusungulumwa kwakukulu.”

Kutha kwa mabanja ndiponso kusoŵa mtendere m’mabanja kumapangitsa kuti anthu ambiri azikhala paokha. Kufufuza komwe kunachitika ku Britain kunasonyeza kuti pofika kumayambiriro kwa zaka za m’ma 2000, anthu ambiri okwana 30 peresenti ya chiŵerengero cha anthu onse m’dzikomo aliyense wa ameneŵa azidzakhala yekha yekha m’nyumba zawo.

Malemba ouziridwa analosera kuti kudzikonda kudzakula mu “masiku otsiriza.” (2 Timoteo 3:1-5) Zikuoneka kuti anthu ambiri amaika mtima kwambiri pa chuma, monga nyumba kapena galimoto, kapenanso ntchito  zawo kusiyana ndi kulimbikitsa ubwenzi ndi anthu anzawo. Wolemba mabuku Anthony Storr, ananena kuti: “M’malo mosamalira amuna kapena akazi ndi ana awo, iwo ndi otanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito zawo.”

MABWENZI ENIENI N’NGAMTENGO WAPATALI ZEDI

Mtundu wa moyo wanu umadalira kwambiri mtundu wa mabwenzi anu. Kaŵirikaŵiri, anthu odzikonda sakhala achimwemwe chifukwa chakuti alibe mnzawo woti n’kugaŵana naye zinthu kapena nzeru. Mawu a Yesu aŵa ndi oona: “Kupatsa kutidalitsa koposa kulandira.” (Machitidwe 20:35) Povomereza mfundo imeneyi, wolemba ndakatulo wachingelezi wotchedwa George Byron analemba kuti: “Onse amene amapeza chisangalalo ayenera kuchigaŵirako ena.”

Kodi bwenzi n’chiyani? Dikishonale imatanthauzira mawu akuti bwenzi kukhala “munthu wogwirizana ndi wina chifukwa cha kukondana kapena kulemekezana.” Bwenzi lenileni lingakuthandizeni kuganizira zinthu zabwino. Likhoza kukulimbikitsani panthaŵi zovuta. Likhozanso kumva chisoni limodzi nanu. Mfumu Solomo inati: “Bwenzi lenileni limakonda nthaŵi zonse, ndipo limakhala mbale panthaŵi ya tsoka.” (Miyambo 17:17, NW) Pamene kuli kwakuti chuma chimatha m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, ubwenzi weniweni umakulakulabe ndi kukhazikika.

Malemba amalimbikitsa Akristu kuti ‘akulitse’ maubwenzi awo. (2 Akorinto 6:13) Ndi chinthu cha nzeru kukhala paubwenzi ndi anthu ena. Pa Mlaliki 11:1, 2, timaŵerenga kuti: “Ponya zakudya zako pamadzi; udzazipeza popita masiku ambiri. Gaŵira asanu ndi aŵiri ngakhale asanu ndi atatu; pakuti sudziŵa choipa chanji chidzaoneka pansi pano.” Kodi mfundo yamakhalidwe abwino imeneyi ikutiuza chiyani za ubwenzi? Ngati muli ndi mabwenzi ambiri, ena mwa iwo adzakuthandizani pamene mwavutika.

Mabwenzi enieni ndi chitetezonso m’njira ina. “Kulasa kwa bwenzi kuli kokhulupirika,” imatero Miyambo 27:6. Ngakhale kuti anthu ambiri angakuyamikireni, ndi mabwenzi anu enieni okha amene angakuganizireni mokwanira, omwe angathe kukuuzani pamene mwalakwitsa ndi kukupatsani malangizo olimbikitsa mwachikondi.​—Miyambo 28:23.

Mabwenzi abwino komanso achikondi ali pakati pa mphatso zosoŵa zija zimene zimakuthandizani kukhala munthu wabwino. Mu chaputala 10 cha Machitidwe, timaŵerenga zomwe zinam’chitikira Korneliyo, mtsogoleri wachiroma wa gulu lankhondo yemwe anauzidwa ndi mngelo kuti mapemphero ake amvedwa. Poyembekezera kubwera kwa mtumwi Petro, Korneliyo anali “atasonkhanitsa abale ake ndi mabwenzi ake enieni.” Mabwenzi enieni a Korneliyo amenewo, anakhala ena mwa Akunja osadulidwa oyambirira kulandira uthenga wabwino omwe anadzozedwa ndi mzimu woyera, kukhala ndi chiyembekezo chokalamulira limodzi ndi Kristu mu Ufumu wa Mulungu. Mabwenzi enieni a Korneliyo amenewo analitu odala kwambiri!​—Machitidwe 10:24, 44.

 Nanga ndi motani mmene mungapezere mabwenzi? Baibulo, lomwe limanena zambiri zokhudza ubwenzi, limayankha ndi malangizo ogwiradi ntchito. (Onani bokosi pansipa.)

KUMENE MUNGAPEZE MABWENZI ENIENI

Malo amene mungapezeko mabwenzi enieni ndi mumpingo wachikristu. Choyamba cha zonse, mungatengere mwayi umene ulipo wa kupanga ubwenzi ndi Yehova, Mlengi wanu ndi Atate wakumwamba. Mungapangenso ubwenzi ndi Yesu Kristu, Mpulumutsi wanu. Yesu, amene akukuitanani kuti mukhale abwenzi ake, akuti: “Palibe munthu ali nacho chikondi choposa ichi, chakuti munthu ataya moyo wake chifukwa cha abwenzi ake.” (Yohane 15:13, 15) Mwa kupanga ubwenzi ndi Yehova ndiponso Yesu Kristu, mungakhale otsimikiza kuti ‘iwo akalandira inu m’mahema osatha.’ Inde, mwa kukhala pa ubwenzi ndi Yehova ndiponso Yesu, mudzapeza moyo wosatha.​—Luka 16:9; Yohane 17:3.

Ndi motani mmene mungakhalire paubwenzi wosangalatsa ndi iwo? Zofunika kuti munthu akhale mlendo m’mahema a Yehova monga mmodzi wa mabwenzi ake zandandalikidwa mu Salmo la 15. Talionani m’Baibulo, ndipo taŵerengani mavesi asanu a salmo limeneli. Kuwonjezera apo, Yesu Kristu anati: “Muli abwenzi anga inu, ngati muzichita zimene ndikulamulirani inu.”​—Yohane 15:14.

Inde, kuphunzira mwa kutsatira chikumbumtima chanu ndi kutsatira zomwe Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo amanena, kumasonyeza kuti mukufuna kukhala bwenzi la Yehova ndi Yesu. Kuti izi zitheke,  muyeneranso kumapezeka pa misonkhano yachikristu nthaŵi zonse komwe mukaphunzireko za Yehova. Khalani wokhulupirika pa kumvera Yehova, ndipo mudzamukonda iye ndi Mwana wake.

Pamisonkhano imeneyi, mungadziŵanenso ndi anthu amene amakonda Yehova amenenso amasonyeza zipatso za mzimu​—chikondi, chimwemwe, mtendere, kuleza mtima, chifundo, kukoma mtima, chikhulupiriro, chifatso, ndi kudziletsa​—m’moyo mwawo. (Agalatiya 5:22, 23) Ngati mukufunitsitsadi kupeza mabwenzi ndi kuthetsa kusungulumwa, muzipita kumisonkhano yachikristu mlungu uliwonse. Mwa kuchita zimenezi mumapeza nthaŵi ndi malo abwino opezera ubwenzi wokhalitsa ndi anthu odalitsidwa a Mulungu.

MABWENZI AMUYAYA

Ubwenzi weniweni ndi mphatso yapamwamba yochokera kwa Yehova Mulungu. Ndiwo umunthu wake weniweni. Chifukwa cha chikondi chake ndi mzimu wake wopatsa, wadzaza dziko lapansi ndi zolengedwa zanzeru zomwe mungathe kukhala nazo paubwenzi. Chezani ndi Akristu anzanu. Alimbikitseni. Gwirani nawo ntchito limodzi mu utumiki. Pempherani nawo ndiponso muziwapempherera nthaŵi zonse. Mukatero mudzatsanzira Yehova ndi Mwana wake Yesu Kristu.

Ubwenzi ndi mphatso yomwe aliyense angathe kupatsa ndi kulandira. Posachedwa m’tsogolomu, mudzakhala ndi mwayi wa kuwonjezera mabwenzi anu. Mungakhale paubwenzi ndi mamiliyoni a anthu omwe ali ndi moyo tsopano, ngakhalenso ndi anthu amene anakhalako m’mibadwo ya m’mbuyomo omwe akugona mu imfa kuyembekezera chiukiriro pa nthaŵi imene “sipadzakhalanso imfa.” (Chivumbulutso 21:4; Yohane 5:28, 29) Yesetsani tsopano kukhala wochezeka, ndipo pangani ubwenzi ndi omwe amakonda Yehova. Muyesetse kukhala paubwenzi ndi Yehova Mulungu ndi Yesu Kristu mwa kumvera Mawu ouziridwa a Mulungu. Mukatero, simudzakhalanso wosungulumwa mpaka muyaya.

[Bokosi/​Zithunzi patsamba 22, 23]

NJIRA ZISANU NDI IMODZI ZOPEZERA MABWENZI OKHALITSA

1. KHALANI BWENZI. Abrahamu anatchedwa “bwenzi la Mulungu” chifukwa cha chikhulupiriro chake cholimba. (Yakobo 2:23) Komanso panali chifukwa china. Baibulo limati Abrahamu anasonyeza chikondi chake kwa Mulungu. (2 Mbiri 20:7) Anachitapo kanthu pofuna kusonyeza maganizo ake kwa Yehova. (Genesis 18:20-33) Inde, tiyenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti tipereke umboni wa ubwenzi wathu. Yesu anati: “Patsani, ndipo kudzapatsidwa kwa inu.” (Luka 6:38) Mawu olimbikitsa, kapena chithandizo chingakhale mbewu ya ubwenzi waukulu. Wolemba nkhani wa ku America wotchedwa Ralph Waldo Emerson anati: “Njira imodzi yokha yopezera bwenzi ndiyo kukhala bwenzi.”

2. PATULANI NTHAŴI YOPEZERA MABWENZI. Anthu ambiri amakhumba mapindu a kukhala ndi mabwenzi. Komabe, iwo safuna kupatula nthaŵi yoti apeze mabwenzi. Pa Aroma 12:15, 16, timalimbikitsidwa kusangalala nawo osangalala, kukondwa nawo opambana, kulira nawo olira, ndi kuwathandiza okhumudwa. Lembalo limati: “Kondwani nawo iwo akukondwera, lirani nawo akulira. Mukhale ndi mtima umodzi wina ndi mnzake.” Ngakhale kuti Yesu Kristu anali wotanganidwa nthaŵi zonse, anali kupatula nthaŵi yokhala ndi mabwenzi ake. (Marko 6:31-34) Kumbukirani kuti ubwenzi uli ngati mtengo wamaluŵa womwe umafuna kuthiriridwa ndi kusamalidwa kuti utulutse maluŵa, ndipo izi zimatenga nthaŵi.

3. MVETSERANI PAMENE ENA AKULANKHULA. Anthu amene amamvetsera mwachidwi bwinobwino, savutika kupeza mabwenzi. “Munthu aliyense akhale wotchera khutu, wodekha polankhula,” anatero wophunzira Yakobo. (Yakobo 1:19) Pamene mukulankhula ndi anthu, sonyezani chidwi ndi zimene akunena. Alimbikitseni kulankhula za iwo eni. Yambani ndinu kuwasonyeza ulemu. (Aroma 12:10) Mukatero, adzafuna kukhala nanu. Koma ngati nthaŵi zonse mumalankhula ndinu nokha, kapena ngati mumafuna kutchuka nthaŵi zonse, kudzakhala kovuta kuti mupeze munthu yemwe angamamvetsere kapena kusamala maganizo ndi zofuna zanu.

4. KHALANI WOKHULULUKIRA. Yesu nthaŵi ina anauza Petro kuti akhale wokonzeka kukhululukira nthaŵi “makumi a[s]anu ndi aŵiri kubwerezedwa kasanu ndi kaŵiri.” (Mateyu 18:21, 22) Bwenzi lenileni limaiŵala mwamsanga zolakwa zing’onozing’ono. Mwachitsanzo: Anthu ena sakonda kudya magwafa chifukwa cha njere zake zing’onozing’ono. Komabe, anthu amene amakonda zipatsozi, alibe vuto ndi njerezo. Mabwenzi enieni amakondedwa chifukwa cha makhalidwe awo abwino; zophophonya zawo zazing’ono zimanyalanyazidwa. Paulo akutilimbikitsa “kulolerana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana.” (Akolose 3:13) Anthu amene amaphunzira kukhala okhululuka amakhala ndi mabwenzi okhalitsa.

5. LEMEKEZANI UFULU WA ENA WOFUNA KUKHALA PAOKHA. Munthu aliyense kuphatikizapo mabwenzi anu, amafuna kukhala payekha nthaŵi zina. Miyambo 25:17 mwanzeru imati: “Phazi lako liloŵe m’nyumba ya mnzako kamodzikamodzi; kuti angatope nawe ndi kukuda.” Choncho khalani olingalira bwino za kuchuluka kwa maulendo anu okacheza kwa anzanu ndiponso kutalika kwa nthaŵi yokachezayo. Peŵani kulamulira chilichonse pamoyo wa mnzanu chifukwa tikatero, tidzayamba kukhala ansanje. Samalani pamene mukutchula zomwe mumakonda ndi malingaliro anu pa zinthu zina. Kuteroko kumapangitsa ubwenzi wanu kukhala wosangalatsa ndi wotsitsimula.

6. KHALANI WOPATSA. Kupatsa kumayambitsa maubwenzi. Langizo la mtumwi Paulo ndi la “kukhala owolowa manja, okonzeka kugaŵira ena.” (1 Timoteo 6:18, NW) Mwachitsanzo, uzani ena mawu olimbikitsa. (Miyambo 11:25) Khalani womasuka ndipo lankhulani moona mtima poyamikira ndi kulimbikitsa ena. Pamene musonyeza chidwi chenicheni ndi moyo wa ena, iwo adzakukondani. Ganizirani zimene mungawachitire m’malo moganizira zomwe iwo angakuchitireni.