Mbiri ya Moyo Wanga

“Simudziŵa Chimene Chidzagwa Maŵa”

YOSIMBIDWA NDI HERBERT JENNINGS

“Ndinali paulendo wobwerera ku ofesi ya nthambi ya Watch Tower Society ya ku Ghana kuchokera ku mzinda wadoko wa Tema ndipo ndinaima kuti nditenge mnyamata wina yemwe amafuna kukwera matola opita kutauni. Ndinagwiritsa ntchito mwayi umenewu kuti ndimulalikire. Ndinkaganiza kuti ndinali kumulalikira bwino kwambiri! Koma pamene tinafika komwe mnyamatayu ankapita, iye anadumpha m’galimotomo n’kuyamba kuthaŵa.”

CHOCHITIKA chimene ndangofotokozachi chinali chizindikiro kwa ine chakuti chinthu chinachake chachilendo chikuchitika m’moyo wanga. Ndisanafotokoze zimene zinachitika, ndiloleni ndikuuzeni mmene ineyo, nzika ya dziko la Canada, ndinapezekera ku Ghana.

Munali m’katikati mwa mwezi wa December 1949 kumpoto kwa mzinda wa Toronto, ku Canada. Tinali titangomaliza kumene kukumba pafupifupi mita imodzi panthaka yozizira kwambiri. Tinali kukumba ngalande yoti mudutse paipi yamadzi yopita panyumba ina yatsopano. Litazizidwa ndiponso litatopa, gulu lathu la anthu antchitolo linaunjikana pa moto wa nkhuni, kudikira kuti galimoto idzalitenge. Mwadzidzidzi, Arnold Lorton, mmodzi wa ogwira ntchitowo, anayamba kulankhula za “nkhondo ndi mbiri za nkhondo,” “mapeto a dziko lino,” ndiponso kugwiritsa ntchito mawu ena omwe anali achilendo kwambiri kwa ine. Nthaŵi yomweyo aliyense anakhala chete, nakhala wododoma, ndipo ena anafika ngakhale pa kudana naye. Ndikukumbukira kuti ndinaganiza kuti, ‘Munthu ameneyu ndi wolimba mtima kwambiri! Pano palibe yemwe akufuna kum’mvetsera, koma iyeyu akupitirizabe kulankhula.’ Koma zimene ankanenazo zinandikhudza mtima kwambiri. Zaka zochepa chabe zinali zitapita kuchokera pamene nkhondo yachiŵiri yapadziko lonse inatha, ndipo ndinali ndisanamvepo zinthu ngati zimenezo m’chipembedzo cha Christadelphian (chipembedzo cha abale a Kristu) chomwe chinali mbali ya banja langa kwa mibadwo ingapo. Ndinamvetsera mwachidwi, ndipo ndinasangalatsidwa kwambiri ndi zokamba zakezo.

Sizinanditengere nthaŵi yaitali kuti ndifikire Arnold kuti andiuze zinthu zambiri. Ndikakumbukira za m’mbuyomo, ndimazindikira mmene iye ndi  mkazi wake, Jean, analili ololera ndiponso okoma mtima kwa ine, mwana wazaka 19. Kaŵirikaŵiri ndinkafika kunyumba kwawo kukacheza nawo, ndisanawadziŵitse kuti ndifika komanso asanandiitane. Anandiwongolera maganizo ndi kundithandiza kupenda ndi kuthetsa kutsutsana kwa miyezo ya makhalidwe abwino ndi zinthu zomwe ine ndinkalingalira kuti ndiye makhalidwe abwino zomwe zinali kusokoneza kwambiri maganizo anga osakhwimawo. Patapita miyezi khumi kuchokera panthaŵi ya chokumana nacho choyambirira chija cha m’mbali mwa msewu pomwe tinkaotha moto, ndinabatizidwa pa October 22, 1950, monga mmodzi wa Mboni za Yehova, ndipo ndinayamba kugwirizana ndi Mpingo wa Willowdale mu mzinda wa North York, womwe tsopano ndi mbali ya mzinda wa Toronto.

Kupita Patsogolo Limodzi ndi Olambira Anzanga

Moyo kunyumba unafika povuta kwambiri pamene atate anazindikira kuti ndinali wotsimikiza mtima kulondola chikhulupiriro changa chatsopano. Atate anali atangovulala kumene pangozi ya galimoto yomwe inachitika chifukwa cha dalaivala wina woledzera, choncho, nthaŵi zambiri atatewo anali munthu wovuta kwambiri kugwirizana nawo zinthu. Moyo unali wovuta kwa amayi, ang’ono anga aŵiri, ndiponso alongo anga aŵiri. Kusagwirizana chifukwa cha choonadi cha Baibulo kunakula kwambiri. Choncho ndinaona kuti n’chanzeru kuti ndichoke panyumbapo n’cholinga choti ndikhale pamtendere ndi makolo komanso kuti ndikakhazikike mu “njira ya choonadi.”​—2 Petro 2:2.

Chakumapeto kwa chilimwe cha 1951, ndinakhazikika pa mpingo wina waung’ono mu mzinda wa Coleman, m’chigawo cha Alberta. Anyamata aŵiri, Ross Hunt ndi Keith Robbins, anali komweko, otanganitsidwa ndi ulaliki wapoyera wanthaŵi zonse, womwe umatchedwa kuti upainiya wokhazikika. Anathandiza ponditsogolera ku utumiki wodzifunira wofananawo. Pa March 1, 1952, ndinayamba nawo ntchito ya utumiki waupainiya wokhazikika.

Ndikukumbukira bwinobwino chilimbikitso chomwe ndinalandira. Panali zinthu zambiri zoti ndiziphunzire, ndipo pamenepa ndiye panali posonyezera chamuna changa. Kenako, nditatha pafupifupi chaka chimodzi mu utumiki waupainiya mu Mpingo wa Lethbridge, mu Alberta, ndinaitanidwa mosayembekezera kuti ndikatumikire monga woyang’anira woyendayenda. Ndinali kupita kukatumikira mipingo ya Mboni za Yehova yomwe inali motalikirana m’mphepete mwa gombe la kum’maŵa kwa Canada kuchokera ku mzinda wa Moncton, m’chigawo cha New Brunswick, mpaka ku mzinda wa Gaspé, m’chigawo cha Quebec.

Pazaka 24 zokha zakubadwa komanso wongoyamba kumene choonadi, ndinadzimva kukhala wopereŵera, makamaka podziyerekeza ndi Mboni zokhwima m’maganizo zomwe ndinali kukazitumikira. M’miyezi ingapo yotsatira ndinayesetsa kuchita khama kwambiri. Kenako panachitika chinthu chinanso chosayembekezeka.

Sukulu ya Gileadi ndi Kupita ku Gold Coast

Mu September 1955, ndinaitanidwa kukakhala nawo m’gulu la ophunzira ena pafupifupi 100 a kalasi la 26 la Sukulu ya Gileadi ya Baibulo ya Watchtower ku South Lansing, mu mzinda wa New York. Miyezi isanu ya maphunziro othinana ndi zomwe ndinkafunikiradi. Changu changa chinalimbitsidwa chifukwa chokhala ndi gulu limenelo lomwe linali losonkhezereka maganizo kwambiri. M’kati mwanthaŵi imeneyi, munachitikanso chinthu china chomwe chapangitsa moyo wanga kukhala wabwino mpaka pano.

Pagulu la ophunzira omwe amakonzekera ntchito yaumishonalewo, panali mlongo wina wachitsikana, wotchedwa Aileen Stubbs. Chomwe ndinaona m’makhalidwe a Aileen chinali kukhazikika maganizo kwinakwake, kuchita zinthu mwauchikulire, ndiponso khalidwe lodzichepetsa ndi lachimwemwe. Ndikuganiza kuti ndinamuchititsa mantha kwambiri pamene ndinamuuza malingaliro anga ngati ndikunena nthabwala. Komabe, sanandikane! Malinga ndi pangano lathu, Aileen anali kudzapita ku ntchito yake yaumishonale ku Costa Rica ndipo inenso ku ntchito yanga ku dziko la Gold Coast (tsopano lotchedwa Ghana), Kumadzulo kwa Africa.

M’maŵa wina mu May 1956, ndinafika mu ofesi ya Mbale Nathan Knorr mu nsanjika ya nambala 9 ku Brooklyn, mu mzinda wa New York. Panthaŵiyo, iye anali pulezidenti wa Watch Tower Society. Anali kundipatsa ntchito yokhala mtumiki wa nthambi kuti ndikayang’anire ntchito yolalikira m’mayiko a Gold Coast, Togoland (tsopano lotchedwa Togo), Ivory Coast (tsopano lotchedwa Côte d’Ivoire), Upper Volta (tsopano lotchedwa Burkina Faso), ndi Gambia.

Ndikukumbukira mawu a Mbale Knorr ngati kuti angolankhulidwa dzulodzuloli. “Sikuti ukangofikira kuyamba ntchito yako,” iye anatero. “Osakapupuluma; ukaphunzire kuchokera kwa abale ozoloŵera ntchitoyi komweko. Ndiyeno utakonzeka  bwinobwino, ukayambe kutumikira monga mtumiki wanthambi. . . . Nayi kalata yosonyeza za kuikidwa kwako. Ukakatha masiku asanu ndi aŵiri utafika m’dzikomo, ukayambe ntchito yako.”

‘Masiku asanu ndi aŵiri okha basi,’ ndinasinkhasinkha motero. ‘Nanga bwanji akundilangiza kuti “osakapupuluma”?’ Ndinachoka m’ofesimo ndisanamvetsebe malangizo ameneŵa.

Masiku angapo otsatira anatha mofulumira kwambiri. Patangopita kanthaŵi pang’ono, ndinali chilili pa zitsulo zotchinga m’mbali mwa sitima yapamadzi yonyamula katundu, tikudutsa mu mtsinje wa East kupyola maofesi a Sosaite mu Brooklyn, kuyamba ulendo wa panyanja wamasiku 21 wopita ku Gold Coast.

Ine ndi Aileen tinalemberana makalata ambiri otumizidwa pandege. Tinakumananso m’chaka cha 1958 ndipo tinakwatirana pa August 23 chaka chomwecho. Sindilephera kuthokoza Yehova chifukwa cha mkazi wabwino ngati ameneyu.

Kwa zaka 19, ndinasangalala kwambiri ndi mwayi wotumikira limodzi ndi amishonale anzanga ndiponso abale ndi alongo anga a ku Africa paofesi yanthambi ya Sosaite. M’nthaŵi imeneyo, banja la Beteli linakula kuchoka pa anthu ang’onong’ono chabe kufika pa anthu 25. Amenewo anali masiku othetsa nzeru kwambiri, a zochitika zosiyanasiyana, ndiponso masiku aphindu kwa ife. Komabe, ndiyenera kunena zoona. Kwa ineyo, nyengo yotentha, inali vuto lapadera. Nthaŵi zonse ndinali kutuluka thukuta, thupi langa linkakhala madzi okhaokha nthaŵi zonse, ndipo nthaŵi zina, ndinkatuluka matuza. Komabe, kutumikira kunali kosangalatsa kwambiri pamene chiŵerengero chathu mu Ghana chinakwera kuchoka pa olengeza Ufumu ongoposa pang’ono 6,000 mu 1956 kufika pa 21,000 mu 1975. Ndipo n’zopatsa chimwemwe chodzala tsaya kuona kuti tsopano kuli Mboni zokangalika zoposa 60,000.

“Maŵa” Lomwe Sitinkaliyembekezera

Cha m’ma 1970, ndinayamba kumva zizindikiro za matenda omwe anali ovuta kuwazindikira. Ndinapimidwa mokwanira bwino n’cholinga chofufuza matendawo, koma anangondiuza kuti “ulibe matenda.” Nangano n’chifukwa chiyani nthaŵi zonse sindinkapeza bwino m’thupi, ndinkakhala wolefuka kwambiri, wosakhazikika maganizo? Zinthu ziŵiri zinapereka yankho, ndipo zinachitika mochititsa nthumanzi. Inde, monga momwe Yakobo analembera kuti: “Simudziŵa chimene chidzagwa maŵa.”​—Yakobo 4:14.

Chizindikiro choyamba chinali chokumana nacho chija cha mnyamata yemwe ndinkamulalikira n’tamutenga pagalimoto kupita naye m’tauni. Sindinadziŵe kuti ndikulankhula mosamezera malovu, kulankhula mofulumira kwambiri ndiponso mawu ambirimbiri pa kamphindi kamodzi. Titafika komwe mnyamatayu amapita, ndinadabwa kwambiri pamene anadumpha m’galimoto n’kuyamba kuthaŵa. Nzika zambiri za dziko la Ghana n’zodekha mwachibadwa, zimayesa kuchita zinthu zonse modekha. Zomwe mnyamatayu anachita sizikugwirizana ndi zimenezi. Ndinakhala kaye phee n’kumasinkhasinkha. Ndinazindikira kuti ndinali ndi vuto. Vuto loti sindinkalidziŵa. Koma mosakayikira ndinali ndi vuto.

Chizindikiro chachiŵiri chinali chakuti, pambuyo pa kukambirana mwachifatse kofufuza za thanzi langa, Aileen anati: “Chabwino, ngati vuto limeneli si lam’thupi, ndiye kuti ndi la m’maganizo.” Choncho ndinalemba bwinobwino zizindikiro zonse za matenda zimene ndimamva, n’kupita kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo. Nditamuŵerengera ndandandayo, yankho lake linali lakuti: “Zimenezi ndi zizindikiro zapadera. Ukudwala matenda a manic-depressive psychosis, [matenda omwe amalepheretsa ubongo kugwira ntchito yake bwinobwino].”

Ndinathedwa nzeru kwambiri! Zinthu zinapitirizabe  kuipiraipira kwa zaka zingapo zotsatira, pamene ndinkayesayesa kuti ndipeze chithandizo. Ndinapitirizabe kufufuza njira zogonjetsera vutolo. Koma panalibe munthu ngakhale mmodzi yemwe ankadziŵa choyenera kuchita. Zinali zokhumudwitsa kwambiri!

M’mbuyo monsemo, chinali cholinga chathu kupitirizabe ndi mwayi wa utumiki wanthaŵi zonse monga ntchito ya moyo wathu wonse, ndipo kunali zinthu zambiri zofunika kuti zichitidwe. Ndinapereka mapemphero ambiri ochokera pansi pa mtima komanso mosaleka: “Yehova, ngati mutalola, ‘ndikakhala ndi moyo, ndidzachita zakuti zakuti.’” (Yakobo 4:15) Koma sizinali kudzakhala choncho. Choncho, poona kuti sitikanatha kuchitira mwina, tinakonza zochoka ku Ghana, n’kusiya mabwenzi athu ambirimbiri apamtima ndi kubwerera ku Canada mu June 1975.

Yehova Athandiza Kudzera mwa Anthu Ake

Posapita nthaŵi yaitali kwambiri, ndinazindikira kuti anthu sakundinyalanyaza, komanso kuti si ine ndekha amene ndinali ndi vuto limenelo. Mawu a pa 1 Petro 5:9, NW, anakhala ndi tanthauzo lenileni kwa ine: “[Dziŵani] kuti zinthu zimodzimodzizo zomwe muvutika nazo zikuchitika m’gulu lonse la abale anu m’dziko.” Nditamvetsa zimenezi, ndinayamba kuzindikira mmene Yehova anatithandiziradi, tonse aŵirife ngakhale kuti panali kusintha kokhumudwitsa kumeneku. Zinalitu zosangalatsa kuona ‘unyinji wa abale’ ukutithandiza bwino kwambiri m’njira zosiyasiyana!

Ngakhale kuti sitinali olemera kwenikweni mwakuthupi, Yehova sanatisiye. Iye anasonkhezera mabwenzi athu a ku Ghana kuti atithandize mwakuthupi ndiponso m’njira zina. Titadzazidwa ndi chisoni chachikulu kwambiri, tinasiya anthu omwe tinkawakonda kwambiri ndi kubwerera kwathu kukalimbana ndi “maŵa” lomwe sitimayembekezerali.

Tinasungidwa mwachikondi kunyumba kwa Lenora, mkulu wake wa Aileen, ndi mwamuna wake, Alvin Friesen, amene anatisamalira kwa miyezi ingapo. Katswiri wina wa zamaganizo yemwe anali wotchuka kwambiri ananena motsimikizira kuti: “Ukhala utachira m’miyezi isanu ndi umodzi.” Mwinamwake ananena zimenezi n’cholinga chofuna kundilimbitsa mtima, koma zomwe ananenazo sizinachitike ngakhale pambuyo pazaka zisanu ndi chimodzi. Mpaka pano, ndikulimbanabe ndi matenda omwe tsopano mongofuna kutonthoza mtima amati n’kusokonezeka maganizo. Limeneli ndi dzina lotonthozadi mtima kwambiri, koma malinga ndi mmene anthu odwala matendaŵa amadziŵira, dzina lotonthoza siliziziritsa m’pang’ono pomwe zizindikiro za matendaŵa zomwe ndi zofoola thupi kwambiri.

Nthaŵi imeneyi, n’kuti Mbale Knorr atayamba kale kudwala matenda omwe pomalizira pake anamwalira nawo mu June wa 1977. Ngakhale kuti anali akudwala, ankapeza nthaŵi ndiponso mphamvu zondilembera makalata ataliatali, ndi olimbikitsa okhala ndi mawu otonthoza ndiponso malangizo. Ndikusungabe makalata amenewo. Mawu ake anandithandiza kwambiri kuthetsa malingaliro opusa omwe ndinkakhala nawo odzimva kuti ndine munthu wolephera.

Kumapeto kwa chaka cha 1975, tinayenera kusiya maudindo athu amtengo wapataliwo a utumiki wa nthaŵi zonse ndi kuika maganizo pa kusamalira thanzi langa. Kuŵala kwa dzuŵa kunkandipweteka m’maso. Phokoso lalikulu la mwadzidzidzi linkandimvekera ngati kulira kwa mfuti. Piringupiringu wa chikhamu cha anthu ankandichititsa mantha kwambiri. Kunali kovuta kwambiri kuti ndifike pa misonkhano yachikristu. Komabe, ndinkadziŵa bwino kwabasi za kufunika kwa mayanjano auzimu. Kuti ndithane ndi zimenezo, nthaŵi zambiri ndinkaloŵa m’Nyumba ya Ufumu khamu lonse la anthu litakhala pansi ndipo ndinkatuluka khamulo lisanayambe kuyendayenda pamapeto pa pulogalamu.

Kuchita nawo utumiki wapoyera kunali chothetsa nzeru chinanso chachikulu. Nthaŵi zina, ngakhale tikafika panyumba, sindinkatha kulimba mtima mpaka kufika poliza belu la pakhomo. Komabe, sindikanatha kusiya chifukwa ndinkadziŵa kuti utumiki umatanthauza chipulumutso kwa ife eni ndiponso kwa aliyense amene amamvetsera ndi kuchitapo kanthu. (1 Timoteo 4:16) Pakapita kanthaŵi pang’ono, ndimatha kuthetsa nkhaŵa zanga, n’kupita pakhomo lina, ndi kuyesanso. Mwa kupitiriza kuchita nawo utumiki, ndapitirizabe kukhala wathanzi mwauzimu, ndipo zimenezi zawonjezera kupirira kwanga.

Chifukwa cha kutenga nthaŵi yaitali kwa matenda a kusokonezeka maganizo, ndazindikira kuti mwinamwake ndidzakhalabe ndi matenda ameneŵa kosatha m’kati mwa dongosolo lino la zinthu. M’chaka cha 1981 nkhani zabwino kwambiri zotsatizanatsatizana zinatuluka m’magazini a Galamukani! * Chifukwa cha nkhani zimenezo, ndinayamba kuwamvetsa  bwino kwambiri matenda ameneŵa ndiponso kuphunzira njira zambiri zothandiza za mmene ndingawapilirire.

Kuphunzira Kupirira

Zonsezi sikuti zatheka popanda kudzipereka ndiponso kusintha kumbali ya mkazi wanga. Ngati ndinu woti mukusamalira munthu winawake yemwe ali mu mkhalidwe wofananawu, mungathe kuvomerezana naye kuti:

“Vuto la kusokonezeka kwa malingaliro likuoneka kuti limasintha umunthu mwadzidzidzi. M’maola oŵerengeka, wodwalayo angasinthe kuchoka pa kukhala munthu wansangala, munthu wolimbikitsa, wamalingaliro atsopano n’kufika pa kukhala munthu wofooka, wokhumudwa, ngakhalenso kukhala waukali. Ngati zimenezi sizinazindikiridwe kuti ndi matenda, zingathe kukhumudwitsa ndi kuthetsa nzeru anthu ena. Mwachionekere, zolingalira zimayenera kusinthidwa mofulumira, ndipo munthu umayamba kulimbana ndi malingaliro okhumudwa kapena odzimva ngati wosafunika.”

Koma ine, ndimayamba kuda nkhaŵa ndikaona kuti ndikupeza bwino kwambiri. Ndimadziŵiratu kuti chotsatirapo cha “kusangalala monkitsa” ndicho “kungoti ndwii,” mwadzidzidzi. Kwa ineyo, “kungoti ndwii” n’kwabwino kusiyana ndi “kusangalala monkitsa” chifukwa chakuti kaŵirikaŵiri kungoti ndwii kumandipangitsa kukhazikika pansi kwa masiku angapo, ndipo zikatero sindikhudzidwa nawo pa chinthu chilichonse chosayenera. Aileen amandithandiza kwambiri mwa kundichenjeza kuti ndisakhale wotengeka maganizo kwambiri ndiponso amandithandiza mwa kunditonthoza ndi kundichirikiza pamene ndalefuka chifukwa cha kupsinjika maganizo.

Pali ngozi yaikulu kwambiri yakuti ungathe kuzoloŵera kumachita zinthu pawekha, panthaŵi yomwe matendawo afika pachimake. Munthu angathe kukhala kumalo ayekhayekha ngati wapsinjika maganizo kapena ngati walephera kuzindikira malingaliro ndi zochita za anthu ena pamene, mosadziŵa matendawo am’chititsa kukhala wosangalala kwambiri. M’mbuyomu, kunali kovuta kuti ndivomereze zizindikiro zakuti ndili ndi vuto la m’maganizo. Ndinkavutika n’kuganizaganiza kuti chinthu chinachake chapadera, monga kulephereka kwa zinthu zinazake zomwe ndimachita kapena munthu wina, n’zomwe zimayambitsa zizindikirozo. Ndakhala ndikudzikumbutsa mobwerezabwereza kuti, ‘Palibe chinthu chomwe chasintha kunjaku. Vuto ndi lam’thupi mwanga, osati lakunja.’ Pang’ono ndi pang’ono malingaliro anga asintha.

M’kati mwazaka zonsezi, tonse aŵirife, taphunzira kukhala anthu olankhula momasuka ndiponso kukhala oona mtima kwa ife eni ndiponso kwa anthu ena ponena za thanzi langa. Timayesetsa kukhalabe ndi makhalidwe olimbikitsa ndi kusalola kuti tikhale otanganidwa ndi matendaŵa.

“Maŵa” Labwino

Mwa mapemphero osaleka komanso kulimbana ndi mavuto ambirimbiri, tapindula ndi madalitso a Yehova ndiponso thandizo lake. Tsopano tonse aŵirife ndife a m’zaka zauchikulire. Ndimapimidwa kaŵirikaŵiri komanso ndimagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala ocheperapo koma pamlingo wosasinthasintha, ndipo thanzi langa silisinthasintha kwenikweni. Timayamikira mwayi wina uliwonse wa utumiki womwe tingakhale nawo. Ndikupitiriza kutumikira monga mkulu mu mpingo. Nthaŵi zonse timayesetsa kukhala anthu ochirikiza ena m’chikhulupiriro.

Zoonadi, monga momwe Yakobo 4:14 amanenera kuti: “Simudziŵa chimene chidzagwa maŵa.” Zimenezo zidzakhala choncho malinga ngati dongosolo lino la zinthu lipitirizabe kukhalapo. Komabe, mawu a Yakobo 1:12 ndi oona, amene amati: “Wodala munthu wakupirira poyesedwa; pakuti pamene wavomerezeka, adzalandira korona wa moyo, amene Ambuye adalonjezera iwo akum’konda Iye.” Tiyenitu tonsefe tichirimike lerolino ndi kuona madalitso amene Yehova wasunga kaamba ka maŵa.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Kufunafuna malo okhala akwandekha m’chipinda changa chojambulira zithunzi

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Ndili ndi mkazi wanga, Aileen

[Chithunzi patsamba 28]

Pa Msonkhano wa “Uthenga Wabwino Wosatha” womwe unachitikira mu mzinda wa Tema, ku Ghana, mu 1963