Chisoni Chimalimbikitsa Munthu Kukhala Wokoma Mtima ndi Wachifundo

“MUNGAKHALE ndi moyo watanthauzo kwambiri ngati mwathandiza kuchepetsa ululu womwe munthu wina akumva,” analemba motero mayi Helen Keller. Mosakayikira, Keller anamvetsa mmene munthu amavutikira maganizo. Ali ndi chaka chimodzi ndi miyezi 7, anadwala matenda omwe anam’chititsa kukhala wakhungu ndi wogontha. Koma mphunzitsi wina wachifundo anaphunzitsa Helen kuŵerenga ndi kulemba zilembo za akhungu, ndipo kenako anam’phunzitsa kulankhula.

Mphunzitsi wa Keller, Ann Sullivan, ankadziŵa bwino kwambiri za kukhumudwa komwe kumakhalapo chifukwa cha chilema. Iyenso sankaona kwenikweni. Koma moleza mtima, Ann anakonza njira yolankhulirana ndi Helen mwa kulemba chilembo chimodzichimodzi m’manja mwa Helen. Ataona mmene mphunzitsi wake anali kuchitira naye chisoni, Helen anaganiza zoika moyo wake wonse pantchito yothandiza anthu akhungu ndi ogontha. Popeza panafunika khama lalikulu kuti agonjetse chilema chake, iye anamva chisoni ndiponso chifundo ndi anthu amene anali ndi mavuto ofanana ndi ake. Anafuna kuwathandiza.

Mwaonapo inu kuti m’dziko ladyerali, n’kosavuta “kutsekereza chifundo” ndi kunyalanyaza zosoŵa za ena. (1 Yohane 3:17) Koma Akristu akulamulidwa kukonda anzawo ndiponso kukondana kwambiri wina ndi mnzake. (Mateyu 22:39; 1 Petro 4:8) Ngakhale zili choncho, mwina mukudziŵa za mfundo iyi: Ngakhale kuti timafunitsitsa kukhala okondana, nthaŵi zambiri sitigwiritsa ntchito mipata yoziziritsira ululu womwe ena akumva. Mwina zimangochitika chifukwa choti sitikudziŵa zosoŵa zawo. Kumvera ena chisoni ndicho chiyambi choti tikhale okoma mtima ndi achifundo.

Kodi Kumvera Ena Chisoni N’kutani?

Buku lina lotanthauzira mawu limati kumvera wina chisoni ndiko “kuzindikira ndi kumvetsa vuto, malingaliro, ndiponso zofuna za munthu wina.” Mawuŵa amatanthauzidwanso kuti ndiko kutha kudziyerekeza uli m’mavuto amene akuchitikira munthu wina. Chotero, kuti tichitire munthu chisoni, choyamba tifunikira kumvetsa zomwe zikum’chitikira ndipo chachiŵiri timve mumtima mwathu ngati momwe iye akumvera chifukwa cha zimene zikum’chitikirazo. Inde, chisoni chimaphatikizapo kumva mu mtima mwathu ululu womwe munthu wina akumva.

Malemba amatchula khalidwe lomwe tikukambiranali m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Mtumwi Petro analangiza Akristu kuti akhale ‘ochitirana chifundo, okondana ndi abale, achisoni.’ (1 Petro 3:8) Mawu achigiriki otembenuzidwa kuti “achisoni” kwenikweni amatanthauza “kuvutikira pamodzi ndi munthu wina” kapena “kukhala wachifundo.” Mtumwi Paulo anaphera mphongo maganizo ameneŵa pamene analimbikitsa Akristu anzake kuti, “kondwani nawo iwo akukondwera, lirani nawo akulira.” Paulo anatinso: “Mukhale ndi mtima umodzi wina ndi mnzake.”  (Aroma 12:15, 16) Ndipo kodi simukuvomereza kuti sizingatheke kuti tikonde mnzathu monga momwe timadzikondera ife eni ngati sitinadziyerekezere tili m’malo mwake?

Pafupifupi aliyense amamva chisoni mwachibadwa. N’ndani amene sanakhudzidwepo mtima ataona zithunzi zomvetsa chisoni za ana ovutika chifukwa chosoŵa chakudya, kapena za anthu othaŵa kwawo amene athedwa nzeru? Ndi mayi uti wachikondi amene anganyalanyaze kusisima kwa mwana wake? Koma si mavuto onse omwe amazindikirika mosavuta. Zimakhala zovuta kwabasi kuti tizindikire malingaliro a munthu amene akuvutika maganizo, akuvutika ndi chilema chinachake chosaonekera bwino, ngakhalenso amene akuvutika ndi matenda okhudza kadyedwe​—ngati sitinakumanepo ndi vuto loterolo! Komabe, Malemba amasonyeza kuti tingathe ndipo tiyenera kumvera chisoni anthu amene ali ndi vuto lomwe ife tilibe.

Zitsanzo za m’Baibulo Zosonyeza Kumvera Ena Chisoni

Yehova ndiye chitsanzo chathu chachikulu cha kumvera ena chisoni. Ngakhale kuti iye ndi wangwiro, satiyembekezera kuti tikhale angwiro, “popeza adziŵa mapangidwe athu; akumbukira kuti ife ndife fumbi.” (Salmo 103:14; Aroma 5:12) Komanso, popeza amadziŵa kuti pali zina zomwe sitingathe kuchita, iye ‘salola kuti tiyesedwe koposa kumene tikhoza [kupirira, NW].’ (1 Akorinto 10:13) Iye amatithandiza kupeza njira zolimbanirana ndi mavuto kudzera mwa atumiki ake ndiponso mzimu wake.​—Yeremiya 25:4, 5; Machitidwe 5:32.

Yehova amamva ululu umene anthu ake akumva. Anauza Ayuda omwe anali atabwerera kuchoka ku Babulo kuti: “Iye wokhudza inu, akhudza mwana wa m’diso langa.” (Zekariya 2:8, NW) Podziŵa bwino kwambiri za chisoni cha Mulungu, wolemba Baibulo, Davide anauza Mulungu kuti: “Sungani misozi yanga m’nsupa yanu; kodi siikhala m’buku mwanu?” (Salmo 56:8) N’zolimbikitsatu kwambiri kudziŵa kuti Yehova amakumbukira misozi​—ndiye ngati kuti inalembedwa m’buku​—yomwe atumiki ake okhulupirika amakhetsa akamayesetsa kukhalabe okhulupirika!

Mofanana ndi Atate wake wakumwamba, Yesu Kristu amadziŵa malingaliro a ena. Pochiritsa munthu wogontha, iye anamutengera pambali, pa aŵiri, mwinamwake n’cholinga choti asadabwe kapena kuchita mantha ndi kuchiritsidwa kwake kodabwitsako. (Marko 7:32-35) Panthaŵi ina, Yesu anaona mkazi wina wamasiye yemwe mwana wake mmodzi yekha anali kukaikidwa m’manda. Anazindikira mwamsanga ululu womwe mayiyo anali kumva, napita kwa anthu onyamula mtembowo, ndi kuukitsa mnyamatayo.​—Luka 7:11-16.

Yesu ataukitsidwa, pamene anaonekera kwa Saulo panjira yopita ku Damasiko, anadziŵitsa Saulo mmene kuzunza kwake mochititsa mantha ophunzira ake kunkam’khudzira. Anamuuza kuti: “Ndine Yesu amene umulondalonda.” (Machitidwe 9:3-5) Yesu anali kumva ululu womwe ophunzira ake ankamva, mofanana ndi mayi yemwe amamva ululu womwe mwana wake wodwala akumva. Chimodzimodzinso panopo, pokhala Mkulu wathu wa Ansembe kumwamba, Yesu ‘amamva chifundo ndi zofooka zathu,’ kapena malinga n’kunena kwa Baibulo la Rotherham, iye “amamva chisoni ndi zofooka zathu.”​—Ahebri 4:15.

Mtumwi Paulo anaphunzira kukhudzidwa mtima ndi mavuto ndiponso zofooka za ena. Anafunsa kuti:  “Afooka ndani wosafooka inenso? Akhumudwitsidwa ndani, wosatenthanso ine?” (2 Akorinto 11:29) Mngelo atamasula modabwitsa unyolo wa Paulo ndi Sila m’ndende ina ku Filipi, choyambirira Paulo anaganiza zodziŵitsa woyang’anira ndendeyo kuti palibe yemwe wathaŵa. Anamumvera chisoni pozindikira kuti akanatha kudzipha. Paulo anadziŵa kuti malinga ndi mwambo wachiroma, woyang’anira ndende akanalangidwa koopsa ngati mkaidi wathaŵa​—makamaka ngati analangizidwa kuti aonetsetse kuti mkaidiyo asathaŵe. (Machitidwe 16:24-28) Kukoma mtima kumeneku kwa Paulo, komwe kunapulumutsa moyo, kunam’chititsa chidwi woyang’anira ndendeyo, ndipo iye ndi banja lake anakhala Akristu.​—Machitidwe 16:30-34.

Mmene Tingakhalire Omvera Ena Chisoni

Malemba amatilimbikitsa mobwerezabwereza kuti titsanzire Atate wathu wakumwamba ndiponso Mwana wake, Yesu Kristu. Motero chisoni ndi khalidwe lomwe tifunikira kukulitsa. Kodi tingachite motani zimenezi? Pali njira zitatu zikuluzikulu zimene tingakulitsire chisoni chathu chifukwa cha zosoŵa ndiponso malingaliro a ena. Njirazi ndizo kumvetsera, kuzindikira, ndiponso kuyerekezera.

Mvetserani. Mwa kumvetsera mosamalitsa, timadziŵa mavuto a ena. Ndipo anthu amamasuka kwambiri, n’kutiuza malingaliro awo ngati tiwamvetsera bwino kwambiri. “Ndimalankhula ndi mkulu ndikatsimikizira kuti andimvetsera,” anatero Miriam. “Ndimafuna kudziŵa kuti akumvetsa vuto langa. Kumudalira kwanga kumawonjezeka akamandifunsa mafunso ofunika kuganiza mofatsa zomwe zimasonyeza kuti wamvetsera mosamala zimene ndamuuza.”

Zindikirani. Si anthu onse amene adzatiuza mosapita m’mbali za mmene iwo akumvera kapena zinthu zomwe akukumana nazo. Koma munthu woona zinthu mwachidwi adzazindikira Mkristu mnzake akayamba kuoneka kuti akuvutika m’malingaliro, wachinyamata akayamba kusiya kulankhula ndi ena, kapena mtumiki wokangalika akayamba kugwa mphwayi. Luso limeneli la kutha kuzindikira vuto pamene langoyamba kumene ndi lofunika kwambiri kwa makolo. Marie anati: “Amayi anga amadziŵa malingaliro anga mwanjira inayake ndisanawafotokozere, motero sindivutika kuwauza mavuto anga mwachilungamo.”

Gwiritsani ntchito luso lanu la kuyerekezera zinthu. Njira yamphamvu kwambiri yotithandiza kumvera chisoni anthu ena ndiyo kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Ndikanakhala pavuto limeneli, ndikanamva bwanji? Ndikanatani nalo vuto limeneli? Ndikanafuna chiyani?’ Anthu atatu achinyengo omwe anabwera kudzalimbikitsa Yobu anasonyeza kuti analephera kudziyerekezera iwowo ali Yobu. Motero, anamuimba mlandu wa machimo omwe iwo ankamuganizira.

Kaŵirikaŵiri sizivuta kuti anthu opanda ungwiro adzudzule zophophonya kusiyana ndi kumvetsa malingaliro a munthu. Koma ngati tiyesetsa kuyerekezera ululu womwe munthu wina akuvutika nawo, zidzatithandiza kumumvera chisoni mmalo momuimba mlandu. “Ndimapereka malangizo abwino kwambiri ndikamvetsera mosamala ndi kuyesa kumvetsa vuto lonse ndisanayambe kupereka maganizo anga,” ananena motero Juan, mkulu wina wachidziŵitso.

Mabuku ndiponso zinthu zina zomwe Mboni za Yehova zimagaŵira zathandiza anthu ambiri pa nkhani yomvera ena chisoniyi. Magazini a Nsanja ya Olonda ndi Galamukani! afotokoza mavuto osiyanasiyana ovuta kumvetsa monga kudwala maganizo ndiponso kuzunza ana. Nkhani za panthaŵi yake zimenezi zimathandiza oŵerenga kuti azikhudzidwa mtima kwambiri ndi malingaliro a anthu omwe ali m’mavuto otereŵa. Nalonso buku lakuti Mafunso Achichepere Akufunsa​—Mayankho Amene Amathandiza lathandiza makolo ambiri kuthandiza pa mavuto a ana awo.

 Chisoni Chimathandiza Pantchito Zachikristu

Ndi anthu ochepa mwa ife amene tinganyalanyaze vuto la mwana amene akuvutika ndi njala ngati tili ndi chakudya chomwe tingam’patse. Ngati ndife achisoni, tidzazindikiranso mmene munthu alili m’moyo wake wauzimu. Ponena za Yesu, Baibulo limati: “Poona makamuwo, anagwidwa m’mtima ndi chisoni chifukwa cha iwo, popeza anali okambululudwa ndi omwazikana, akunga nkhosa zopanda mbusa.” (Mateyu 9:36) Ndi mmenenso anthu ambiri alili mwauzimu lerolino, ndipo akufunika thandizo.

Monga momwe zinalili m’nthaŵi ya Yesu, kuti tiwafike pamtima anthu ena, mwina tingafunike kugonjetsa tsankho kapena mwambo umene unazika mizu. Mtumiki wachisoni amayesetsa kupeza mfundo inayake yomwe angagwirizane nawo kapena amakambirana nawo nkhani zomwe zili m’maganizo mwa anthu pofuna kuti uthenga wake ukhale wogwira mtima. (Machitidwe 17:22, 23; 1 Akorinto 9:20-23) Kukoma mtima kochitika chifukwa cha chisoni kungapangitse kuti anthu omwe akumvetsera alandire uthenga wa Ufumu mosavuta, monga momwe zinalili ndi woyang’anira ndende uja ku Filipi.

Chisoni n’chofunika kwambiri potithandiza kunyalanyaza zophophonya za ena mu mpingo. Ngati tiyesetsa kumvetsa malingaliro a mbale yemwe watikhumudwitsa, mosakayikira sizidzativuta kumukhululukira. Mwinanso ndi mmene ife tikanachitira ngati tikanakhala iyeyo. Popeza chisoni cha Yehova chimamulimbikitsa ‘kukumbukira kuti ndife fumbi,’ kodi chisoni chathu sichiyenera kutilimbikitsa kuganizira za kupanda ungwiro kwa ena ndi ‘kuwakhululukira’?​—Salmo 103:14; Akolose 3:13.

Ngati tikufunika kupereka uphungu, tingapereke uphunguwo mokoma mtima kwambiri ngati timvetsa mmene munthu wolakwayo akumvera ndiponso malingaliro ake. Mkulu wachikristu womvera chisoni anzake amadzikumbutsa kuti: ‘Ndi mmenenso ndikanalakwitsira ine. Ndikanakhala m’mavuto akeŵa.’ Motero Paulo analimbikitsa kuti: “Mubweze wotereyo mu mzimu wa chifatso; ndi kudzipenyerera wekha, ungayesedwe nawenso.”​—Agalatiya 6:1.

Chisoni chingatilimbikitsenso kupereka thandizo lofunika ngati tili ndi mphamvu yochita zimenezo, ngakhale kuti Mkristu mnzathu angamachite mantha kutipempha thandizolo. Mtumwi Yohane analemba kuti: “Iye amene ali nacho chuma cha dziko lapansi, naona mbale wake ali wosoŵa ndi kutsekereza chifundo chake pom’mana iye, nanga chikondi cha Mulungu chikhala mwa iye bwanji? . . . Tisakonde ndi mawu, kapena ndi lilime, komatu ndi kuchita ndi m’choonadi.”​—1 Yohane 3:17, 18.

Kuti tikonde ‘m’zochita ndi m’choonadi,’ choyamba tifunika kuona zosoŵa zinazake za mbale wathu. Kodi timaona mosamala zosoŵa za ena n’cholinga choti tiwathandize? Pamenepo ndiye pagona kumvera ena chisoni.

Kulitsani Khalidwe Lochitira Ena Chisoni

Mwina mwachibadwa sitichita chisoni kwambiri, koma tingathe kukulitsa khalidwe limeneli. Ngati timvetsera mwatcheru kwambiri, kuzindikira zinthu mwachidwi, ndiponso nthaŵi zambiri kumadziyerekezera tili m’mavuto a munthu wina, chisoni chathu chidzakula. Zimenezo zidzatilimbikitsa kukhala achikondi, okoma mtima, ndiponso achifundo kwambiri pa ana athu, Akristu ena, ndiponso anthu omwe tikukhala nawo.

Musalole kuti dyera liphimbe chisoni chanu. Paulo anati: “Asapezeke mwa inu wongolingalira zake za yekha, koma ganiziraninso za ena.” (Afilipi 2:4, Phillips) Timayembekezera kudzakhala ndi moyo wosatha chifukwa chakuti Yehova ndiponso Mkulu wa Ansembe wake, Yesu Kristu amatimvera chisoni. Chotero tili ndi udindo wokulitsa khalidwe limeneli. Chisoni chathu chidzatipatsa mphamvu yokhala atumiki abwino ndiponso makolo abwino. Koposa zonse, kumvera ena chisoni kudzatithandiza kuona kuti “kupatsa kutidalitsa koposa kulandira.”​—Machitidwe 20:35.

[Chithunzi patsamba 25]

Kumvera ena chisoni kumaphatikizapo kuzindikira bwino zosoŵa za ena n’cholinga chofuna kuwathandiza

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Kodi tingaphunzire kusonyeza chisoni chimene mwachibadwa mayi wachikondi amakhala nacho pa mwana wake?