Zimene Mungachite Kuti Mulimbitse Ukwati Wanu

TALINGALIRANI nyumba imene sikuoneka bwino chifukwa choti anangoitayirira. Utoto ukuchoka, denga lawonongeka, ngakhalenso panja ndi posasamalidwa. Mwachionekere, nyumbayi yawonongeka chifukwa cha mphepo ya mkuntho m’zaka zapitazo, ndipo sinali kusamalidwa. Kodi ayenera kungoigwetsa nyumbayo? Ayi. Ngati maziko ndi khoma lake n’zolimba, nyumbayo ingathe kukonzedwanso.

Kodi mmene nyumbayi ilili zikukukumbutsani ukwati wanu? Kwa zaka zambiri, mikuntho ikuluikulu iyenera kuti yamenya kwambiri ukwati wanuwo, kunena kwake titero. Mmodzi wa inu kapena nonse muyenera kuti munanyalanyaza ukwatiwo pa mlingo winawake. Mungakhale ndi maganizo ofanana ndi a Sandy. Atakhala zaka 15 mu ukwati anati: “Aliyense ankakonda zosiyana kwambiri ndi zimene mnzake ankakonda, chinthu chimene tinkafanana n’chakuti tinali okwatirana. Ndipo ichi sichinali chokwanira.”

Ngakhale ngati ukwati wanu wafika pamenepa, musafulumire kunena kuti ukwatiwo uyenera kutha. Ndithudi, ukwati wanu ungakonzedwe. Zikungodalira kuti inu ndi mnzanu wa muukwatiyo ndinu odzipereka bwanji. Kudzipereka kungathandize kulimbitsa ukwati panthaŵi ya mavuto. Koma kodi kudzipereka n’kutani? Ndipo kodi Baibulo lingakuthandizeni bwanji kukulitsa kudzipereka?

Kudzipereka Kumaphatikizapo Udindo

Malinga ndi buku lina lotanthauzira mawu, kudzipereka kumatanthauza kudziona kuti uli ndi udindo kapena kuchita zinthu mochokera pansi pa mtima. Nthaŵi zina, mawuŵa amagwiritsidwa ntchito pa zinthu zina, monga ntchito. Mwachitsanzo, mmisiri womanga nyumba angaone kuti ndi udindo wake kukwaniritsa ntchito imene wavomera kugwira, yomanga nyumba. Mwina sangadziŵe amene wapereka ntchitoyo. Komabe, amaona kuti ndi udindo wake kuchita zimene analonjeza pantchitoyo.

Ngakhale kuti ukwati si ntchito, kudzipereka mu ukwati kumaphatikizapo udindo. Inu ndi mnzanuyo mwachionekere munalumbira pamaso pa Mulungu ndi anthu kuti mudzakhala limodzi, zivute zitani. Yesu anati: “Iye amene adalenga anthu pachiyambi, anawalenga iwo  mwamuna ndi mkazi, nati, Chifukwa cha ichi mwamuna adzasiya atate wake ndi amake, nadzaphatikizana ndi mkazi wake.” Yesu anawonjezera kuti: “Chimene Mulungu anachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.” (Mateyu 19:4-6) Ndiyeno, pakabuka mavuto, inu ndi mnzanuyo muyenera kutsimikiza mtima kukwaniritsa lonjezo lanu lokhala wodzipereka limene munapanga. * Mkazi wina anati: “Zinthu zinayamba kuyenda bwino kuyambira pamene tinasiya kuganiza zosudzulana.”

Komabe, kudzipereka mu ukwati kumaphatikizapo zambiri osati udindo wokha. N’chiyaninso chimafunika?

Kugwirizana Kumalimbikitsa Kudzipereka mu Ukwati

Kudzipereka mu ukwati sikutanthauza kuti okwatirana sazisemphana maganizo. Pakabuka mkangano, muzikhala ofunitsitsa kuthetsa nkhaniyo osati kokha chifukwa cha lumbiro lanu koma chifukwa cha chikondi. Ponena za mwamuna ndi mkazi, Yesu anati: “Salinso aŵiri koma thupi limodzi.”

Kodi kukhala “thupi limodzi” ndi mnzanu wa mu ukwati kumatanthauzanji? Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti “amuna azikonda akazi awo a iwo okha monga ngati matupi a iwo okha.” (Aefeso 5:28, 29) Choncho, mwa zina, kukhala “thupi limodzi” kumatanthauza kudera nkhaŵa moyo wa mnzanu wa mu ukwati monga momwe mumachitira ndi moyo wanu. Anthu okwatirana afunika kusintha maganizo awo kuchoka pa “changa” n’kumati “chathu,” kuchoka pa “ine” n’kumati “ife.” Mlangizi wina analemba kuti: “Okwatirana ayenera kusiya kuganiza ndi kuchita zinthu ngati kuti sali pabanja, n’kuyamba kuganiza ndi kuchita zinthu monga anthu apabanja.”

Kodi inu ndi mnzanu wa mu ukwati mumaganiza ndi kuchita zinthu monga apabanja? N’zotheka kukhalira limodzi kwa zaka zambiri koma osakhala “thupi limodzi” mu lingaliro limeneli. Inde, zimenezi zingachitike, koma buku lakuti Giving Time a Chance limati: “Ukwati umatanthauza kuchitira zinthu limodzi, ndipo mukamachitira zinthu pamodzi nthaŵi zambiri, moyo wa banja umayendanso bwino kwambiri.”

Maukwati ena osayenda bwino amapitiriza kukhalira limodzi chifukwa cha ana awo kapena nkhani zachuma. Ena amapirira chifukwa chakuti amadana kwambiri ndi kusudzulana kapena chifukwa choopa zimene anthu ena aganize ngati asudzulana. Ngakhale kuti n’zabwino kuti maukwati ameneŵa apitirire, dziŵani kuti cholinga chizikhala chakuti mukhale ndi ukwati wachikondi, osati kokha wolimba.

 Kusadzikonda Kumalimbikitsa Kudzipereka mu Ukwati

Baibulo linaneneratu kuti mu “masiku otsiriza,” anthu adzakhala “odzikonda okha.” (2 Timoteo 3:1, 2) Monga momwe ulosiwu unanenera, masiku ano anthu akukonda kwambiri kuchita zinthu zokomera iwo okha basi. M’maukwati ambiri, kuchitira wina chinthu popanda chimene upindulepo amakuona ngati kufooka. Koma, mu ukwati umene ukuyenda bwino, okwatirana amasonyeza mzimu wodzimana. Kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi?

M’malo mongofunsa kuti, ‘Kodi ndikupindulanji mu ukwatiwu?’ dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi ineyo ndikuchita chiyani kuti ndilimbitse ukwati wanga?’ Baibulo limati Akristu ayenera ‘kusapenyerera zawo za iwo okha, koma apenyererenso za anzawo.’ (Afilipi 2:4) Polingalira za mfundo ya m’Baibulo imeneyi, pendani zimene munachita mlungu wathawu. Kodi n’kangati kamene munachita chinthu chabwino chongokomera mnzanu wa mu ukwatiyo? Kodi munali kumvetsera mnzanuyo akafuna kulankhula nanu ngakhale kuti simunali kufuna kwenikweni kumvetsera? Ndi zinthu zingati zimene munachita zomwe zinasangalatsa kwambiri mnzanuyo kuposa inuyo?

Popenda mafunso ameneŵa, musade nkhaŵa kuti zinthu zabwino zimene mumachita anthu sadzaziona kapena kubwezera. Buku lina limati: “M’maubwenzi ambiri, kuchita zinthu zokomera ena, kumachititsa ena kuchita zomwezo, choncho chitani zimene mungathe kuti mulimbikitse mnzanu wa mu ukwatiyo kuchita zinthu zabwino mwa kuyamba inuyo kuchita zinthu zabwino.” Kuchita zinthu zosonyeza kudzimana kungalimbitse ukwati wanu chifukwa kumasonyeza kuti mumakonda ukwati wanuwo ndipo mukufuna kuti ulimbe.

N’kofunika Kuona Ukwati Kukhala Wanthaŵi Yaitali

Yehova Mulungu amaona kukhulupirika kukhala kofunika kwambiri. Indedi, Baibulo limati: “Ndi achifundo [“okhulupirika,” NW] inu [Yehova] mudzadzionetsa wachifundo [“wokhulupirika”].” (2 Samueli 22:26) Kukhala wokhulupirika kwa Mulungu kumaphatikizapo kukhulupirika mu ukwati umene anayambitsa.​—Genesis 2:24.

Ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo muli wokhulupirika kwa wina ndi mnzake, mudzakhala ndi ukwati wolimba. Mukamaganiza za miyezi, zaka, ndiponso za nthaŵi yaitali m’tsogolo mwanu, mungathe kumadziona muli limodzi. Simuganiza n’komwe zoti mukanapanda kukwatirana. Ndipo maganizo ameneŵa amalimbitsa ukwati wanu. Mkazi wina anati: “Ngakhale ndikam’kwiyira kwambiri [mwamuna wanga] ndiponso ndikakhumudwa kwambiri ndi zimene zikutichitikira, sindidandaula kuti ukwati wathu utha. Ndimangoganiza zimene tingachite kuti zinthu zikhalenso bwino. Sindikayikira zoti tiyanjananso ngakhale kuti panthaŵiyo sindidziŵa kuti tiyanjana bwanji.”

Kuona ukwati kuti ndi wanthaŵi yaitali n’kofunika pankhani yodzipereka kwa mnzanu wa mu ukwati, koma n’zachisoni kuti m’mabanja  ambiri zimenezi n’zosoŵa. Mukapsetsana mtima, mnzanu wa mu ukwati angalankhule mawu akuti, “Ndikusiya!” kapena “Ndikapeza wina amene adzandikondadi!” Kunena zoona, nthaŵi zambiri mawu ameneŵa sakhala ochokera pansi pa mtima. Komabe, Baibulo limati lilime lingakhale “lodzala ndi ululu wakupha.” (Yakobo 3:8) Kuopsezana kuli ngati kunena kuti: ‘Sindiuona ukwati wathu monga wosatha. Ndingachokemo nthaŵi ina iliyonse.’ Kupereka malingaliro ameneŵa kungawononge ukwati.

Mukamaona ukwati kukhala wanthaŵi yaitali, mudzakhala ndi mnzanuyo zivute zitani. Izi zili ndi phindu lina. Zidzapangitsa inuyo ndi mnzanuyo kuvomereza mosavuta zofooka ndi zolakwa ndiponso kupitiriza kulolerana wina ndi mnzake ndi kukhululukirana. (Akolose 3:13) Buku lina limati: “Mu ukwati wabwino, n’zotheka nonse kulakwitsa zinthu, ndipo n’zothekanso ukwatiwo kulimba ngakhale pali zimenezi.”

Patsiku lanu la ukwati, munalonjeza kuti mudzakhala wodzipereka kwa munthu winawake, amene munakwatirana nayeyo, osati kungofuna kukhala m’banja chabe. Mfundo imeneyi iyenera kukhudza kwambiri mmene panopo mumaganizira ndi kuchitira zinthu monga munthu wapabanja. Kodi simukuvomereza kuti muyenera kukhalabe ndi mnzanu wa mu ukwati chifukwa chakuti mumakhulupirira kwambiri kuti ukwati uyenera kukhala wopatulika komanso kuti mumakonda amene munakwatirana nayeyo?

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi/​Chithunzi patsamba 5]

Zimene Mungachite Panopo

Kodi zinthu zili bwanji mu ukwati wanu pankhani ya kudzipereka? Mwina mukuona kuti pali mbali zina zofunika kuwongolera. Kuti mukulitse kudzipereka kwanu, yesani kuchita izi:

● Dzipendeni. Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndimaganizadi ndi kuchita zinthu monga munthu wapabanja, kapena ndimachita monga munthu wopanda banja?’ Fufuzani momwe mnzanu wa mu ukwati amakuonerani pambali imeneyi.

● Ŵerengani nkhaniyi pamodzi ndi mnzanu wa mu ukwati. Ndiyeno kambiranani modekha njira zimene nonsenu mungachite kuti mukulitse kudzipereka mu ukwati wanu.

● Ndi mnzanu wa mu ukwati, chitani zinthu zimene zingakulitse kudzipereka kwanu. Mwachitsanzo, onani zithunzi za ukwati wanu ndiponso zinthu zina zimene simuziiŵala. Chitani zinthu zimene munali kukonda kuchita muli pachibwenzi kapena zaka zoyambirira za ukwati wanu. Ŵerengerani pamodzi nkhani zofotokoza Baibulo za mu Nsanja ya Olonda ndi Galamukani! zokhudza ukwati.

[Bokosi/​Chithunzi patsamba 6]

Mu Ukwati, Kudzipereka Kumaphatikizapo . . .

● Udindo “Chita chomwe unachiwindacho. Kusawinda kupambana kuwinda osachita.”​—Mlaliki 5:4, 5.

● Kugwirizana “Aŵiri aposa mmodzi . . . Pakuti akagwa, wina adzautsa mnzake.”​—Mlaliki 4:9, 10.

● Kudzimana “Kupatsa kutidalitsa koposa kulandira.”​—Machitidwe 20:35.

● Kuona Ukwati Kukhala Wanthaŵi Yaitali “Chikondi . . . chipirira zinthu zonse.”​—1 Akorinto 13:4, 7.

[Zithunzi patsamba 7]

Kodi mumamvetsera mnzanu wa muukwati akafuna kulankhula nanu?