Kodi Mumadziyerekezera ndi Ena?

NDANI wa ife amene sanaonepo munthu wooneka bwino kuposa mmene ifeyo tilili, kapena amene akuoneka kuti ndi wotchuka kwambiri, kapena amamvetsa zinthu mwamsanga, kapenanso amakhoza kwambiri kusukulu? Mwina ena ali ndi thanzi labwino kuposa ife kapena ali pantchito yabwinoko, zinthu zikuwayendera bwino, kapena akuoneka kuti ali ndi mabwenzi ambiri kuposa ifeyo. Mwina ali ndi katundu wambiri, ndalama zambiri, galimoto yatsopano, kapena akungooneka kuti moyo akusangalala nawo kwambiri. Kodi timadziyerekezera ndi ena pa zinthu zimene tatchulazi? Kodi n’zotheka kupewa kudziyerekezera ndi ena? N’chifukwa chiyani Mkristu ayenera kupewa kudziyerekezera ndi ena? Nanga tingakhale bwanji okhutira popanda kudziyerekezera ndi wina aliyense?

Zifukwa Zimene Tingadziyerekezere ndi Ena

Chifukwa chimodzi chimene anthu amadziyerekezera ndi ena n’chakuti amaona kuti zimawathandiza kukhala odzidalira. Kawirikawiri anthu amakhutira akadziwa kuti zinthu zikuwayendera mofanana ndi anzawo. Chifukwa china n’chakuti timadziyerekezera ndi ena pofuna kuchepetsa kudzikayikira, komanso pofuna kudziwa zimene tingathe kuchita ndi zimene sitingathe. Timaona zimene ena achita. Ngati tikufanana nawo m’njira zambiri komano iwowo akwanitsa kuchita zinazake, nafenso tingafune kuchita zofananazo.

Kawirikawiri, munthu amadziyerekezera ndi wofanana naye, monga mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzake, munthu wofanana naye msinkhu, wofanana naye zochitika komanso amene amadziwana naye. Kawirikawiri sitidziyerekezera ndi munthu amene tikuona kuti tikusiyana naye kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, nthawi zambiri mtsikana wapasukulu sangadziyerekezere ndi munthu wotchuka wopezeka m’magazini otsatsa malonda, m’malo modziyerekezera ndi anzake a kusukulu. Ndipo munthu wotchuka wopezeka m’magazini otsatsa malondayo sangadziyerekezere ndi mtsikana wamba wapasukulu.

Kodi timadziyerekezera ndi ena pa zinthu ziti? Zinthu kapena makhalidwe alionse amene anthu m’dera lathu amawaona ngati ofunika. Mwachitsanzo, anthu angadziyerekezere ndi ena pa zinthu monga nzeru, kukongola, chuma, ndi zovala. Koma nthawi zambiri sitidziyerekera ndi ena pa zinthu zimene ifeyo tilibe nazo ntchito. Mwachitsanzo, sitingasilire kuchuluka kwa mabuku enaake amene mnzathu ali nawo, ngati ifeyo mabuku amenewo samatisangalatsa.

Kudziyerekezera ndi ena kumatikhudza mosiyanasiyana.  Kungatikhutiritse kapena kutipatsa nkhawa, kungatichititse kusirira kwambiri ndi kufuna kutsanzira zomwe tasirirazo kapena kungatichititse kusamva bwino kapenanso kungatidanitse ndi anthu. Zina mwa zinthu tatchulazi n’zoopsa, ndipo n’zosemphana ndi makhalidwe achikristu.

Kudziyerekezera ndi Ena Mopikisana Nawo

Ambiri amene amafuna kuti akamadziyerekezera ndi ena, iwowo ndiwo azikhala apamwamba, amakhala ndi mtima wampikisano. Amafuna kuti iwowo ndiwo apose ena, ndipo sakhutira mpaka atafika poona kuti aterodi. Sizisangalatsa kukhala ndi anthu otero. Munthu wotere sakhala bwenzi lodalirika ndipo ubwenzi wake umakhala wokayikirana. Anthu otere sakhala odzichepetsa komanso kawirikawiri amalephera kugwiritsa ntchito malangizo a m’Baibulo akuti azikonda anzawo. Tikutero chifukwa chakuti m’posavuta kuti mtima wawowu upangitse ena kudziona ngati opanda pake ndiponso operewera.​—Mateyu 18:1-5; Yohane 13:34, 35.

Kuwachititsa anthu kudziona ngati “olephera” ndiko kuwavulaza. Malinga ndi wolemba mabuku wina, “tikaona anthu omwe ali m’mikhalidwe yofanana ndi yathu akupeza zimene ife tikufuna, koma ifeyo n’kumalephera zimatiwawa koopsa.” Chotero mtima wa mpikisano umayambitsa nsanje, kuipidwa ndi kusakondwa ndi munthu wina chifukwa cha zinthu zomwe ali nazo, chifukwa chakuti zinthu zikumuyendera bwino, chifukwa cha udindo wake, mbiri yake, zomwe akusangalala nazo ndi zina zotero. Izi zimangochititsa kuti mpikisanowo uzingopitirira. Baibulo limaletsa ‘kuutsana,’ kapena kuti kuyambitsa mpikisano.​—Agalatiya 5:26.

Anthu ansanje amafuna kudzionetsa ngati abwino mwa kunyoza zomwe anzawo achita. Zimenezi zingaoneke ngati zazing’ono, koma ngati sitisamala, tingagwe nazo m’tchimo lalikulu. Onani nkhani ziwiri izi za m’Baibulo zokhudza nsanje.

Pamene Isake anali kukhala ndi Afilisti, anapeza “chuma cha nkhosa, ndi chuma cha zoweta, ndi banja lalikulu: ndipo Afilisti anam’chitira iye nsanje.” Choncho iwo anakwirira zitsime zimene bambo wa Isake, Abrahamu anakumba, ndipo mfumu yawo inalamula Isake kuti achoke m’deralo. (Genesis 26:1-3, 12-16) Nsanje yawo inali yoipa ndi yowononga. Iwo analephera kuugwira mtima poona kuti mnzawo Isake zinthu zikumuyendera bwino.

Patapita zaka zambiri, Davide anaonetsa kuti ali ndi luso lapadera pa nkhondo. Atapambana pa nkhondo, azimayi a mu Israyeli anasangalala ndi kuimba kuti: “Sauli anapha zikwi zake, koma Davide zikwi zake zankhani.” Ngakhale kuti Sauli nayenso anali kuyamikiridwa ndithu, anaona ngati wanyozedwa mwa kumuyerekezera m’njira imeneyi, ndipo nsanje inadzaza mu mtima mwake. Kuchokera pamenepo, Sauli anayamba kudana ndi Davide. Posakhalitsa anayesa kupha Davide, ndipo izi anazichita mobwerezabwereza. Apatu tingathe kuona kuti nsanje ingam’pangitsedi munthu kukhala woipa kwambiri.​—1 Samueli 18:6-11.

Choncho tisamale ngati podziyerekezera ndi ena, omwe zinthu zikuwayendera bwino, tikuchita nsanje kapena kufuna kupikisana nawo. Maganizo amenewa ndi oopsa kwambiri, komanso osemphana ndi maganizo a Mulungu. Koma tisanaone mmene tingapewere maganizo amenewa, tiyeni tione chinthu china chimene chimayambitsa mtima wodziyerekezera ndi ena.

Kudzidziwa Bwino ndi Kukhala Okhutira

‘Kodi ndine wanzeru, wooneka bwino, waluso, wa thanzi labwino, waulemu wake, wokondedwa? Ndipo kodi ndine wotero ku mlingo wotani?’ Kawirikawiri sitimadziyang’anira pagalasi n’kumadzifunsa mafunso amenewa. Wolemba mabuku wina anati, “tonsefe timadzifunsa kawirikawiri mafunso oterewa ndipo timawapezera mayankho okhutiritsa ndithu omwe amangothera mumtima.” Munthu amene akudzikayikira, angamaganize zinthu zimenezi alibe mtima uliwonse wofuna kupikisana ndi munthu kapena kum’chitira nsanje. Angatero pofuna kudzidziwa bwino basi. Palibe cholakwika chilichonse  ndi kufuna kudzidziwa bwino. Koma kudziyerekezera ndi ena, si njira yabwino yochitira zimenezi.

Tili ndi maluso osiyanasiyana, pa zifukwanso zosiyanasiyana. Anthu ooneka kuti akuchita bwino kuposa ife sadzatha ayi. Choncho, m’malo mowachitira nsanje, tiyenera kuyeza zomwe ifeyo tikukwanitsa pa miyezo yolungama ya Mulungu, yomwe ndi miyezo yodalirika yodziwira choyenera ndi chabwino. Yehova amasangalala ndi zimene ifeyo patokha timakwanitsa kuchita. Samatiyerekezera ndi wina aliyense. Mtumwi Paulo akutilangiza kuti: “Yense ayesere ntchito yake ya iye yekha, ndipo pamenepo adzakhala nako kudzitamandira chifukwa cha iye yekha, si chifukwa cha wina.”​—Agalatiya 6:4.

Kuthetsa Nsanje

Popeza kuti anthu onse ndi opanda ungwiro, pangafunike kuyesetsa mwakhama nthawi zonse kuti tithetse nsanje. Tingadziwe ndithu kuti Malemba amatiuza kuti: “Mutsogolerane ndi kuchitira wina mnzake ulemu,” koma kuchitadi zimenezo n’kovuta zedi. Paulo ankadziwa kuti mtima wake umamufunitsa kuchita uchimo. Kuti alimbane ndi zimenezo, anayenera ‘kupumphuntha thupi lake, ndi kuliyesa kapolo.’ (Aroma 12:10; 1 Akorinto 9:27) Kuti ifeyo titero tiyenera kupewa maganizo opikisana ndi ena, n’kukulitsa maganizo abwino. Tiyenera kupemphera, kum’pempha Yehova kuti atithandize kuti ‘tisadziyese koposa kumene tiyenera kudziyesa.’​—Aroma 12:3.

Kuphunzira Baibulo ndi kusinkhasinkha kumathandizanso. Mwachitsanzo, ganizirani za Paradaiso wam’tsogolo amene Mulungu walonjeza. Panthawiyo, aliyense adzakhala pa mtendere, adzakhala wa thanzi labwino, adzakhala ndi chakudya chamwanaalirenji, nyumba zapamwamba, ndi ntchito yokhutiritsa. (Salmo 46:8, 9; 72:7, 8, 16; Yesaya 65:21-23) Kodi alipo amene adzafune kupikisana ndi mnzake? Ayi ndithu. Sikudzakhala chifukwa chilichonse chochitira zimenezo. N’zoona kuti Yehova sanatiuze mwatsatanetsatane mmene moyo udzakhalire panthawiyo. Koma sikulakwa kuganiza kuti aliyense adzatha kuchita zinthu zomwe amakonda ndiponso maluso amene amam’sangalatsa. Wina angadzaphunzire chilengedwe chakuthambo, wina n’kumawomba nsalu zokongola. Motero kodi pangadzakhalenso chifukwa chochitirana nsanje? Zomwe anzathu azidzachita zizidzatipatsa mphamvu zowonjezera zinthu zomwe tikuchita osati kutidanitsa ndi anzathuwo ayi. Mtima woterowo wa mpikisano sudzakhalako.

Ngati tikufuna kudzakhala moyo wotero, kodi sitiyenera kuyesetsa kukulitsa maganizo oterewo panopo? Panopa tili kale m’paradaiso wauzimu, mmene mulibe mavuto ambiri omwe ali m’dzikoli. Popeza kuti m’dziko latsopano la Mulungu simudzakhala mtima wopikisana ndi ena, ndiyetu tili ndi chifukwa chomveka chopewera mtima wotere panopa.

Koma kodi ndi kulakwa kudziyerekezera ndi ena? Kapena kodi nthawi zina kudziyerekezera ndi ena kungakhale koyenera?

Kudziyerekezera ndi Ena Koyenera

Anthu ambiri akwiya ndi kukhumudwa chifukwa chodziyerekezera ndi ena, komatu siziyenera kukhala choncho nthawi zonse. Mogwirizana ndi mfundo imeneyi, taonani zimene mtumwi Paulo analangiza. Iye anati: ‘Mukhale akuwatsanza iwo amene alikulowa malonjezano mwa chikhulupiriro ndi kuleza mtima.’ (Ahebri 6:12) Tingapindule kwambiri ngati titayesetsa kukulitsa makhalidwe omwe atumiki okhulupirika a Yehova akale anali nawo. Kunena zoona, tingachite zimenezi mwa kudziyerekezera ndi iwowo. Komano chimene chingatithandize kutero ndicho kuona zitsanzo zimene tingatsanzire ndiponso  mbali zimene tikufunikira kukonza.

Motero taganizirani za Jonatani. Ena anganene kuti iye anali ndi chifukwa chomveka chochitira nsanje. Monga mwana wamkulu wa Mfumu Sauli ya Israyeli, n’kutheka kuti nthawi inayake anayembekezerapo kudzakhala mfumu, koma Yehova anasankha Davide, yemwe anali mwana kwa Jonatani ndi zaka 30. M’malo momusungira udani mumtima, Jonatani anapanga naye ubwenzi wopanda mpeni kumphasa ndi kuthandiza Davide monga mfumu yosankhidwiratu ya Yehova. Jonatani analidi munthu wauzimu. (1 Samueli 19:1-4) Mosiyana ndi bambo wake, omwe ankadana ndi Davide, Jonatani anazindikira kuti Yehova ndi amene anali kuyendetsa zinthu ndipo anagonjera zofuna Zake. Sanadziyerekezere ndi Davide, n’kumadzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani anasankha Davide osati ine?”

Pakati pa Akristu anzathu, sitiyenera kuchita mantha, ngati kuti ena akufuna kutiposa kapena kutilanda udindo wathu. Kupikisana n’kosayenera. Akristu okhwima maganizo amadziwika ndi mgwirizano, umodzi, ndi chikondi, osati mpikisano. Francesco Alberoni, yemwe ndi katswiri woona za khalidwe la anthu, anati: “Mdani wamkulu wa nsanje ndi chikondi. Ngati winawake timam’konda, timam’funira zabwino, mwakuti timanyadira ngati zinthu zikumuyendera bwino ndiponso ngati akusangalala.” Choncho ngati wina mu mpingo wachikristu wasankhidwa kuchita utumiki winawake, tingasonyeze chikondi ngati titakhutira ndi zimenezo. Ndi mmene Jonatani anachitira. Mofanana naye, nafenso tidzadalitsidwa ngati tikuthandiza anthu amene akutumikira mokhulupirika m’maudindo osiyanasiyana m’gulu la Yehova.

Sikulakwa kusirira chitsanzo chabwino chomwe Mkristu mnzathu wasonyeza. Kudziyerekezera ndi iwowo moyenera, kungatilimbikitse kutsanzira chikhulupiriro chawo. (Ahebri 13:7) Koma ngati sitingasamale, kutsanzira ena kungayambitse mpikisano. Ngati tikuona kuti amene timam’sirirayo akutiposa, ndiyeno n’kuyamba kumam’nyoza kapena kumunena, sitingathenso kumutsanzira m’malo mwake tingamam’chitire nsanje.

Komabe, sitingatsanzire munthu wopanda ungwiro pa zina zilizonse. N’chifukwa chake Malemba amanena kuti: “Khalani akutsanza a Mulungu, monga ana okondedwa.” Komanso amati, “Kristu anamva zowawa m’malo mwanu, nakusiyirani chitsanzo kuti mukalondole mapazi ake.” (Aefeso 5:1, 2; 1 Petro 2:21) Tiyenera kuyesetsa kutsanzira makhalidwe a Yehova ndi Yesu, monga chikondi, ubwenzi, chifundo, ndi kudzichepetsa. Tiyenera kumadziyerekezera ndi iwowo, ndi kuona ngati tili ndi mikhalidwe yawo, ngati tikuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi chifuno chawo, komanso ngati tikuchita zinthu mmene iwo akanachitira. Kudziyerekezera koteroko kungatipindulitse, kutitsogolera m’njira yoyenera, kutithandiza kuchita zinthu modekha, ndi kutiteteza. Ndiponso kungatithandize kukula mwauzimu monga amuna ndi akazi achikristu. (Aefeso 4:13) Ngati titachita khama pa kutsanzira chitsanzo chawo changwiro, ndithudi sitingamalimbane n’kudziyerekezera ndi anthu anzathu.

[Chithunzi pamasamba 28, 29]

Mfumu Sauli inkachitira nsanje Davide

[Chithunzi patsamba 31]

Jonatani sanaone ngati kuti Davide akupikisana naye, ngakhale kuti Davideyo anali mwana kwa iye