Ubwino Wokhazikitsa Mtendere

MUNTHU wina dzina lake Edward ankadwala matenda amene anafa nawo, ndipo Bill ankadana naye munthuyu. Ngakhale kuti poyamba anthuwa ankagwirizana kwambiri, anayamba kudana zaka 20 m’mbuyomo pamene Edward anachotsetsa Bill pantchito. Ndiye pofuna kuti afe mwamtendere Edward anafuna kum’pepesa Bill kuti amukhululukire. Koma Bill anakana kumva zonena za mnzakeyo.

Ndiyeno patatha zaka pafupifupi 30, Bill nayenso atatsala madzi amodzi, analongosola chifukwa chimene anakanira kumukhululukira mnzake uja. Iye anati: “Ineyo ndinali mnzake wapamtima, motero iyeyo sakananditero ayi. Ngakhale kuti panali patatha zaka 20 sindinkafuna kugwirizana nayenso. . . . Inde mwina sindinachite bwino, komabe ndi momwe ndinkamvera mumtima mwanga.” *

Sikuti nthawi zambiri anthu akakangana zinthu zimachita kufika poipa chonchi, komabe nthawi zambiri mikangano imapweteketsa anthu mitima kapena kuwadanitsa. Taganizirani mmene munthu amamvera akakhala ndi maganizo ngati a Edward. Poganizira kuti zochita zake zinamuika mnzake pamavuto, chikumbumtima chake chingathe kumamuvutitsa ndiponso angathe kumaona kuti anataya mnzake wapamtima. Komano zimam’pweteka akamaganizira kuti mnzake amene anam’khumudwitsayo  sanasamale n’komwe zaubwenzi wawo moti ubwenziwo anangouona ngati chinthu choti angathe kukachitaya kudzala.

Koma munthu amene akumva mmene Bill ankamvera mumtima mwake, angaone kuti iyeyo ndiye akuvutika osalakwa ndipo angawawidwe mtima kwambiri moti sangaganize n’komwe zokhululuka. Iye angaone kuti mnzake uja n’ngolakwa basi, ndipo anachitira dala zimenezo. Nthawi zambiri anthu awiri akasiyana maganizo, aliyense amaona kuti iyeyo ndiye ali wolondola ndipo wolakwa ndi mnzakeyo. Motero anthu oti poyamba anali kugwirizana amapezeka kuti ayamba kudana ndipo kudanako kumangokhala ngati nkhondo.

Nkhondo yawo imakhala yomenyana mwakachetechete. Mmodziyo akatulukira, basi winayo amangotembenukira kwina, ndipo akapezana pagulu amangokhala ngati sakuonana. Akakhalirana patali, amangoyang’anirana m’mbali apo ayi amayang’anana ndi diso lofiira. Akati alankhulane, mawu awo amangokhala okhadzula mwinanso amatukwanizana mopweteketsa mtima kwambiri.

Komano ngakhale kuti anthuwa angaoneke kuti sagwirizana ngakhale pang’ono, maganizo awo amakhala ofanana ndithu pankhani zina. N’kutheka kuti mumtima mwawo amadziwa kuti ali ndi vuto lalikulu ndiponso amamva chisoni kuti anasiyana ndi mnzawo wapamtima. Onse amamva ndithu ululu wa bala losapolalo la ubwenzi wawo, ndipo onse amadziwa kuti ayenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti balalo lipole. Komano vuto limakhala pakuti ndani angakhale woyamba kufuna kukonza nthenya yaubwenzi wawowu kuti anthuwa ayambirenso kukhala mwamtendere? Palibe amene amafuna kutero.

Zaka 2,000 zapitazo, ophunzira a Yesu Kristu nthawi zina ankakangana m’njira yomweyi. (Marko 10:35-41; Luka 9:46; 22:24) Nthawi ina atakangana kwambiri, Yesu anawafunsa kuti: “Munali kutsutsana ninji panjira?” Ndiyeno pochita manyazi, onse anangokhala chete, osayankha. (Marko 9:33, 34) Komano zimene Yesu ankaphunzitsa zinawathandiza kuti ayambenso kugwirizana. Malangizo ake, ndiponso malangizo a ophunzira ake ena, akupitirizabe kuthandiza anthu kuthetsa mikangano ndi kuyambanso kugwirizana. Tiyeni tione mmene zimenezi zimachitikira.

Yesetsani Kuti Muyambirenso Kukhala Mwamtendere

“Sindikufuna kulankhula naye amene uja. Sindikufuna kudzamuonanso m’maso mwangamu ayi.” Ngati munanenapo mawu otere, muyenera kuchitapo kanthu mogwirizana ndi zimene Malemba a m’Baibulo otsatirawa akunena.

Yesu anaphunzitsa anthu kuti: “Chifukwa chake ngati ulikupereka mtulo wako pa guwa la nsembe, ndipo pomwepo ukakumbukira kuti mbale wako ali ndi kanthu pa iwe, usiye pomwepo mtulo wako kuguwako, nuchoke, nuyambe kuyanjana ndi mbale wako.” (Mateyu 5:23, 24) Yesu anatinso: “Ngati mbale wako akuchimwira iwe, pita, num’langize panokha iwe ndi iye.” (Mateyu 18:15) Kaya wolakwa ndi inuyo kapena ayi mawu a Yesuwa akugogomezera kuti inuyo ndi amene muyenera kukalankhulana mwamsanga ndi mnzanuyo. Muyenera kutero “mu mzimu wa chifatso.” (Agalatiya 6:1) Pokambirana ndi mnzanuyo cholinga chanu chisakhale choti muteteze dzina lanu potulutsa mfundo zodziikira kumbuyo. Ndiponso chisakhale choti mukam’panikize nazo mfundo mdani wanuyo kuti mpaka akapepese. Koma chikhale choti muthe kumakhalanso mwamtendere. Kodi langizo la m’Baibulo limeneli limathandizadi?

Ernest amagwira ntchito yoyang’anira anzake mu ofesi inayake yaikulu. * Kwa zaka zambiri, ntchito yake inali yoti aziyendetsa nkhani zovuta zokhudza anthu osiyanasiyana ndiponso anafunika kuti nthawi zonse azigwirizana nawo anzake a kuntchitowo. Iyeyu anaona kuti m’posavuta kuti anthu ayambane. Iye anati: “Nthawi zina ndakhala ndikuyambanapo ndi anzanga. Koma zikatero, ndimakhala naye pansi mnzangayo n’kukambirana vutolo. Ndibwino kungopita kwa munthuyo basi. Lankhulani naye nokha n’cholinga choti muyambirenso kukhala mwamtendere. Nthawi zonse njira imeneyi imandithandiza.”

Alicia ali ndi anzake a zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana,  ndipo ananena kuti: “Nthawi zina ndimanena zinazake n’kuzindikira kuti mwina winawake sizinamusangalatse. Ndiye ndimapita kwa munthuyo kukapepesa. Inde, n’kutheka kuti nthawi zina ndimapepesa nkhani yoti munthuyo sanakhumudwe nayo, komabe mtima wanga umakhala m’malo ndikapepesa. Ndikatero ndimadziwa kuti sindinakhumudwitse aliyense.”

Kuthana ndi Maganizo Osathandiza

Komabe nthawi zambiri pofuna kukhazikitsa mtendere mukakangana ndi munthu, maganizo enaake osathandiza amakufikirani. Kodi munayamba mwaganizapo kuti: “Amene anayambitsa vutoli ndi mnzangayo ndiyeno ineyo ndikhalirenji woyamba kufuna kukhazikitsa mtendere?” Kapena kodi munayamba mwayesapo kukhazikitsa mtendere ndi munthu wina koma n’kupezeka kuti munthuyo akukuuzani kuti: “Iwe ndi ine palibe choti tingalankhulane ayi”? Anthu ena amatero chifukwa choti mtima ukuwapweteka kwambiri. Lemba la Miyambo 18:19 limati: “Kupembedza mbale utam’chimwira n’kovuta, kulanda mudzi wolimba n’kosavuta; makangano akunga mipiringidzo ya linga.” Motero ganizirani mmene mnzanuyo akumvera mumtima mwake. Ngati atakana zoti mugwirizanenso, dikirani kanthawi ndipo mudzayesenso. N’kutheka kuti panthawiyi ‘mudzi wolimbawo’ udzakhala wotseguka ndipo “mipiringidzo” ija idzakhala itachotsedwa kuti muthe kugwirizananso.

Chinanso chimene chimalepheretsa mtendere ndicho kuopa kunyozeka. Anthu ena amaona ngati n’kunyozeka ngati atapepesa kapenanso ngati atalankhulana ndi mdani wawoyo. Inde ndibwino kuganizira za ulemu wako munthu, koma kodi kukana kugwirizana ndi anzanu kumapatsa ulemu kapena kumam’chotsera ulemu munthu? N’kuthekatu kuti kufuna ulemuko kukusonyeza mtima wodzikuza.

Wolemba Baibulo Yakobo, anasonyeza kuti mtima wokonda mikangano ndiponso mtima wodzikweza zimayenderana. Atanena poyera za “nkhondo” ndi “zolimbana” zimene Akristu ena anali nazo pakati pawo, iye anati: “Mulungu akaniza odzikuza, koma apatsa chisomo odzichepetsa.” (Yakobo 4:1-3, 6) Kodi kudzikuza kumalepheretsa bwanji kukhazikitsa mtendere?

Kudzikuza kumapusitsa anthu powachititsa kumadziona ngati oposa anzawo. Anthu odzikuza amaona kuti ali ndi mphamvu zoweruza anzawo kuti ndi anthu abwino kapena ayi. Kodi amatero m’njira yotani? Iwo amati akasiyana maganizo ndi anzawo, nthawi zambiri amaona kuti anzawowo n’ngokanika moti sangasinthe n’komwe. Kudzikuza kumachititsa anthu ena kuona kuti anthu amene ali osiyana ndi iwowo si ofunika kuwaganizira, kapenanso kuwapepesa mochoka pansi pamtima. Motero, anthu odzikuzawa akakangana ndi munthu, nthawi zambiri sayesa n’komwe kukhazikitsa mtendere bwinobwino.

Kudzikuza kuli ngati chinthu chotchinga magalimoto kuti asadutse pamsewu, chifukwa kumatsekereza njira yokhazikitsira mtendere. Motero ngati mukuona kuti mtima wanu sukulola zokhazikitsa mtendere ndi mnzanu, n’kutheka kuti muli ndi vuto la kudzikuza. Kodi mungatani kuti muthane nalo vutoli? Musautsanze mtima wanu koma yesetsani kukhala wodzichepetsa.

Musautsanze Mtima Wanu

Baibulo limasonyeza kuti kudzichepetsa, kapena kuti chifatso ndi khalidwe lofunika kwambiri. “Mphotho ya chifatso ndi kuopa Yehova ndiye chuma, ndi ulemu, ndi moyo.” (Miyambo 22:4) Pa Salmo 138:6, timawerenga za mmene Mulungu amaonera anthu odzichepetsa ndiponso anthu odzikuza. Lembali limati: “Angakhale Yehova n’ngwokwezeka, apenyanso wopepukayo; koma wodzikuza am’dziwira kutali.”

Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti kudzichepetsa kumanyozetsa munthu. Zikuoneka kuti umu ndi mmene atsogoleri a padziko pano amaonera nkhaniyi. Ngakhale kuti mayiko athunthu amavomera kuchita zofuna za atsogoleriwa, iwowa amalephera kudzichepetsa povomereza chabe zolakwa zawo zinazake. Ngati mtsogoleri atanena kuti, “Ndikupepesa, ndinalakwa” imakhala nkhani yaikulu moti mpaka atolankhani amaifalitsa. Posachedwapa mkulu wina waboma anapepesa chifukwa chosayendetsa zinthu bwino pangozi inayake imene panafa anthu, ndipo mawu ake opepesawo anawaika pamitu ya nkhani zambiri zofalitsidwa.

Kudzichepetsa ndiko khalidwe lodziona kuti siiwe woposa ena ndipo khalidwe losiyana ndi kudzichepetsa ndilo kudzikuza. Motero kudzichepetsa kumatanthauza mmene munthuyo amadzionera, osati mmene ena amamuonera. Munthu akamapepesa modzichepetsa akalakwitsa zinthu ndiponso akamapempha anzake kuti amukhululukire sanyozeka ayi; m’malo mwake, anthu amamuona kuti ndi munthu wakhalidwe labwino. Baibulo limati: “Mtima wa munthu unyada asanawonongeke; koma chifatso chitsogolera ulemu.”​—Miyambo 18:12.

 Ponenapo za anthu andale amene sapepesa akalakwitsa zinthu, munthu wina amene amatsata bwino nkhani zotere anati: “N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti iwowa amaganiza kuti akavomereza zolakwa zawo akhala onyozeka. Anthu olephera ndiponso odzikayikira satha kunena kuti, ‘Ndikupepesa, ndinalakwa.’ Ndi anthu amtima wabwino ndiponso opanda mantha okha amene saona kuti akunyozeka akavomereza kuti, ‘Pamene paja ndinalakwitsa.’” Mfundo imeneyi ndi yothandiza ngakhale kwa anthu amene si andale. Mukamayesetsa kusautsanza mtima wanu wodzikuzawo poyesetsa kukhala wodzichepetsa, m’posavuta kuti muyambe kukhalanso mwamtendere ndi munthu amene munayambana naye. Taonani nkhani iyi ya mmene banja lina linatsimikizirira kuti mfundoyi ndi yoona.

Julie ndi mchimwene wake William anasemphana chichewa moti sankaonana bwino ayi. William anakwiya naye kwambiri Julie pamodzi ndi mwamuna wake Joseph, mwakuti anasiyiratu kulankhula nawo. Iye anachita kufika pobweza mphatso zonse zimene Julie ndi Joseph anam’patsa m’mbuyomo. Patatha miyezi ingapo, munthu ndi mlongo wakeyu anafika podana kwambiri ngakhale kuti poyamba ankagwirizana kwambiri.

Komano Joseph anaganiza zotsatira mfundo ya pa Mateyu 5:23, 24. Iye anaganiza zolankhula ndi mlamu wakeyo mwa mzimu wachifatso kapena kuti mougwira mtima ndipo anam’lembera makalata opepesa kuti anam’lakwira. Joseph analimbikitsa mkazi wake kuti amukhululukire mchimwene wakeyo. Patapita nthawi, William anaona kuti Julie ndi Joseph ankafunadi kukhazikitsa mtendere, ndipo anayamba kuwamasukira. Mapeto ake, William ndi mkazi wake anadzakumana ndi Julie ndi Joseph; onse anapepesana, kukumbatirana, ndipo anayambanso kugwirizana.

Ngati mukufuna kuthetsa mkangano ndi mnzanu, tsatirani moleza mtima zimene Baibulo limaphunzitsa ndipo yesetsani kukhazikitsa mtendere ndi mnzanuyo. Yehova adzakuthandizani. Mukatero, zimene Mulungu ananena kwa Aisrayeli akale zidzakuchitikirani inuyo. Iye anati: “Mwenzi utamvera malamulo anga mtendere wako ukanakhala ngati mtsinje.”​—Yesaya 48:18.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Zithunzi patsamba 7]

Nthawi zambiri kupepesa kumathandiza kuti anthu agwirizanenso