Ukwati Ungayende Bwino Masiku Ano

“Khalani nacho chikondano, ndicho chomangira cha mtima wamphumphu.”​—Akolose 3:14.

1, 2. (a) Kodi ndi mfundo iti yolimbikitsa yokhudza mpingo wachikristu? (b) Kodi ukwati umene ukuyenda bwino umakhala wotani?

KODI tikayang’ana mumpingo wachikristu, sitisangalala kuona anthu okwatirana ambirimbiri amene akhala okhulupirika kwa amuna kapena akazi awo mwina kwa zaka 10, 20, 30, kapena kuposa pamenepo? Anthuwa akhala okhulupirikabe kwa amuna kapena akazi awo ngakhale pamavuto aakulu.​—Genesis 2:24.

² Anthu ambiri sangakane kuti akumanapo ndi mavuto muukwati wawo. Munthu wina analemba kuti: “Maukwati amene amayenda bwino si kuti amakhala opanda mavuto. Nthawi zina zinthu zimayenda bwino ndipo nthawi zina siziyenda bwino . . . Koma zonsezo zili apo . . . anthu okwatiranawo salekana ngakhale atakumana ndi mavuto otani a masiku anowa.” Anthu amene ukwati wawo ukuyenda bwino amakhala kuti anadziwa mmene angachitire ndi mavuto ndiponso masautso a m’moyo, makamaka ngati ali ndi ana. Malingana ndi zimene akumana nazo, anthu otere anafika pozindikira kuti chikondi chenicheni “sichitha nthawi zonse.”​—1 Akorinto 13:8.

3. Kodi malipoti akusonyeza kuti maukwati ndiponso kusudzulana zafika potani, motero ndi mafunso otani amene tingafunse?

³ Mosiyana ndi maukwati otere, pali maukwati ena ambirimbiri amene apasuka. Lipoti lina linati: “Pafupifupi theka la maukwati onse a ku America amene alipo panopo adzatha mochita kusudzulana. Ndipo theka la maukwati osudzulanawo adzasudzulana asanakwanitse zaka 8 ali m’banja . . . Anthu 75 pa anthu 100 aliwonse mwa anthuwa adzakwatira kapena kukwatiwanso, ndipo anthu 60 pa 100 aliwonse okwatira kapena kukwatiwansowa adzasudzulananso.” Zinthu zasintha ngakhale m’mayiko amene poyamba mabanja ambiri sankasudzulana kawirikawiri. Mwachitsanzo, posachedwapa ku Japan anthu osudzulana achuluka mochita kuwirikiza. Kodi zina mwa zinthu zimene zabweretsa vuto limeneli, zimenenso nthawi zina zimapezeka ngakhale mumpingo wachikristu ndi ziti? Kodi chofunika n’chiyani  kuti ukwati uyende bwino ngakhale kuti Satana amayesetsa kuusokoneza?

Zinthu Zofunika Kuzipewa

4. Kodi zina mwa zinthu zimene zingabweretse mavuto muukwati ndi ziti?

⁴ Mawu a Mulungu amatithandiza kumvetsa zimene zingabweretse mavuto m’banja. Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani mawu a mtumwi Paulo onena za mmene zinthu zidzakhalire m’masiku otsiriza ano: “Masiku otsiriza zidzafika nthawi zowawitsa. Pakuti anthu adzakhala odzikonda okha, okonda ndalama, odzitamandira, odzikuza, amwano, osamvera akuwabala, osayamika, osayera mtima, opanda chikondi chachibadwidwe, osayanjanitsika, akudyerekeza, osakhoza kudziletsa, aukali, osakonda abwino, achiwembu, aliuma olimbirira, otukumuka mtima, okonda zokondweretsa munthu, osati okonda Mulungu; akukhala nawo maonekedwe a chipembedzo, koma mphamvu yake adaikana; kwa iwonso udzipatule.”​—2 Timoteo 3:1-5.

5. Kodi munthu ‘wodzikonda yekha’ angasokoneze bwanji ukwati wake, ndipo kodi Baibulo limalangiza chiyani pankhaniyi?

⁵ Tikaganizira bwinobwino mawu a Paulo, timaona kuti zinthu zambiri zimene anatchula zingathe kusokoneza mgwirizano wa muukwati. Mwachitsanzo, anthu amene ali “odzikonda okha” amangoganizira za iwo okha basi, osati za anzawo ayi. Amuna kapena akazi amene ali odzikonda okha amachita zongowakomera iwowo basi. Zimene aganiza iwowo n’zomwezo basi. Kodi mtima wotero ungabweretse mtendere muukwati? Ayi ndithu. Mtumwi Paulo anauza Akristu, kuphatikizapo okwatirana, malangizo anzeru awa: “Musachite kanthu monga mwa chotetana, kapena monga mwa ulemerero wopanda pake, komatu ndi kudzichepetsa mtima, yense ayese anzake om’posa iye mwini; munthu yense asapenyerere zake za iye yekha, koma yense apenyererenso za mnzake.”​—Afilipi 2:3, 4.

6. Kodi kukonda ndalama kungasokoneze bwanji mgwirizano muukwati?

⁶ Kukonda ndalama kungachititse kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi asiyane maganizo kwambiri. Paulo anachenjeza kuti: “Iwo akufuna kukhala achuma amagwa m’chiyesero ndi m’msampha, ndi m’zilakolako zambiri zopusa ndi zopweteka, zotere zonga zimiza anthu m’chiwonongeko ndi chitayiko. Pakuti muzu wa zoipa zonse ndiwo chikondi cha pandalama; chimene ena pochikhumba, anasochera, nataya chikhulupiriro, nadzipyoza ndi zowawa zambiri.” (1 Timoteo 6:9, 10) N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti zimene Paulo anachenjezazi n’zimenedi zachitikira mabanja ambiri masiku ano. Pofunafuna ndalama, anthu ambiri amanyalanyaza kuchita zinthu zimene akazi kapena amuna awo amafunikira, kuphatikizapo kuthandizana maganizo nthawi zonse ndiponso kuchita zinthu mogwirizana.

7. Kodi nthawi zina n’chiyani chimapangitsa anthu okwatirana kusakhulupirika?

⁷ Paulo ananenanso kuti anthu ena m’masiku otsiriza ano adzakhala “osayera mtima, opanda chikondi chachibadwidwe, osayanjanitsika.” Lumbiro laukwati ndi lonjezo lofunika kulitenga mosamala kwambiri ndipo liyenera kugwirizanitsa anthu okwatiranawo mpaka kalekale, ndipo sayenera kuliswa pochita zosakhulupirika. (Malaki 2:14-16) Komatu pali ena amene maso awo anayamba kudyerera akazi kapena amuna ena. Mkazi wina wa zaka za m’ma 30 amene anasiyidwa ndi mwamuna wake analongosola kuti ngakhale mwamunayo asanamusiye, ankachita zinthu mozolowerana ndiponso mokondana kwambiri ndi akazi ena. Sankatha kuona kuti khalidwe lakelo n’losayenererana ndi mwamuna wokwatira. Mkaziyu mtima wake unam’pweteka kwambiri ataona zimenezi ndipo anayesetsa kum’chenjeza mwaulemu mwamuna wakeyo za kuopsa kwa zochita zakezo. Komabe, patsogolo pake mwamunayo anadzachita chigololo. Ngakhale kuti anachenjezedwa bwinobwino, mwamunayo sanafune kumvera. Mapeto ake anagwera m’mbuna imeneyi.​—Miyambo 6:27-29.

8. Kodi chingachititse chigololo n’chiyani?

⁸ Baibulo limachenjeza momveka bwino pankhani ya chigololo. “Wochita chigololo ndi mkazi alibe nzeru; wofuna kuononga moyo wake wake ndiye amatero.” (Miyambo 6:32) Nthawi zambiri sikuti chigololo chimangochitika lero ndi lero ayi. Mogwirizana ndi zimene wolemba Baibulo Yakobo analemba, tchimo monga chigololo nthawi zambiri limachitika munthuyo ataganizira kaye kwambiri za zimenezo. (Yakobo 1:14, 15) Pang’onopang’ono mwamuna kapena mkazi wosakhulupirikayo  amayamba kusakhulupirika kwa mnzakeyo ngakhale kuti analumbira kuti adzakhulupirika kwa iye moyo wake wonse. Yesu anati: “Munamva kuti kunanenedwa, Usachite chigololo; koma Ine ndinena kwa inu, kuti yense wakuyang’ana mkazi kum’khumba, pamenepo watha kuchita naye chigololo mumtima mwake.”​—Mateyu 5:27, 28.

9. Kodi pa Miyambo 5:18-20 pali malangizo anzeru otani?

⁹ Motero njira ya nzeru ndiponso yokhulupirika ndi imene imalimbikitsidwa m’buku la Miyambo, lomwe limati: “Adalitsike kasupe wako; ukondwere ndi mkazi wokula nayo. Ngati mbawala yokonda ndi chinkhoma chachisomo, mawere ake akukwanire nthawi zonse; ukondwe ndi chikondi chake osaleka. Pakuti ukondwerenji, mwananga, ndi mkazi wachiwerewere, ndi kufungatira chifuwa cha mkazi wachilendo?”​—Miyambo 5:18-20.

Musathamangire Ukwati

10. Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani kuli kwanzeru kudziwana naye munthu amene mukufuna kulowa naye m’banja?

¹⁰ Nthawi zina mavuto amabuka muukwati chifukwa choti anthuwo akwatirana adakali aang’ono. N’kutheka kuti amakhala ali aang’ono kwambiri ndiponso osadziwa zambiri. Kapenanso mwina sakhala ndi nthawi yodziwana bwinobwino zimene amakonda, zimene sakonda, zolinga zawo m’moyo ndiponso mabanja amene akuchokera. N’chinthu chanzeru kuleza mtima, pokhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yodziwana ndi munthu amene mukufuna kukwatirana nayeyo. Taganizirani za Yakobo, mwana wa Isake. Kuti apongozi ake aamuna amulole kukwatira mwana wawo Rakele anayenera kuwagwirira ntchito zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri. Isake analolera kugwira ntchitoyi chifukwa chakuti anamukondadi Rakeleyo, osati kungokopeka ndi maonekedwe ake okha ayi.​—Genesis 29:20-30.

11. (a) Kodi ukwati umabweretsa pamodzi anthu otani? (b) Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani kulankhula moganizira bwino kuli kofunika muukwati?

¹¹ Ukwati si chikondi chongokopana ayi. Ukwati umabweretsa pamodzi anthu awiri ochokera mabanja osiyana ndiponso okhala ndi makhalidwe osiyana, maganizo osiyana, ndipo nthawi zambiri anthuwo amakhalanso ophunzira mosiyana. Nthawi zina amakhalanso azikhalidwe zosiyana, ngakhalenso a zilankhulo zosiyana. Koma ngakhale atakhala kuti n’ngofanana m’zinthu tazitchulazi amakhalabe anthu oti angathe kuganiza mosiyana pa nkhani zosiyanasiyana. Muukwati aliyense amaganizadi mosiyana ndi mnzake. Motero anthuwo angathe kumangokhalira kunenana ndi kudandaula, komabe anthuwo angathenso kumachita zinthu molimbikitsana. Inde, mawu athu angapweteketse mtima kapena kulimbikitsa munthu amene tinakwatirana naye. Kulankhula mosaganiza kungalowetse mavuto aakulu muukwati.​—Miyambo 12:18; 15:1, 2; 16:24; 21:9; 31:26.

12, 13. Kodi tikulimbikitsidwa kuona ukwati m’njira yeniyeni yotani?

¹² Motero, n’chinthu chanzeru kukhala ndi nthawi yomudziwadi bwino munthu amene mukumanga naye banja. Mlongo wina amene wakhala m’banja kwa nthawi yaitali anati: “Mukamaganizira za munthu amene mukufuna kumanga naye banja, ndi bwino kuganizira mwina mfundo teni zofunikira kuti munthuyo akwaniritse. Ngati mutaona kuti munthuyo amangokwanitsa mfundo seveni zokha dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi zitatu zotsalazo  ndilibe nazo ntchito kwenikweni? Kodi zimenezi ndingakwanitse kumapirira nazo tsiku ndi tsiku?’ Ngati mukukayikira ganizaninso mofatsa.” Komabe, ndi bwino kuona nkhaniyi mogwirizana ndi mmene anthu alilidi. Ngati mukufuna kulowa m’banja, dziwani kuti simungapeze munthu wangwiro womanga naye banja. Komanso munthu amene mudzakwatirane nayeyo adzakwatirana ndi inuyo, amene mulinso wopanda ungwiro.​—Luka 6:41.

¹³ Ukwati umafunika kukhala ndi mtima wovutikira ena. Paulo anagogomezera zimenezi pamene ananena kuti: “Ndifuna kuti mukhale osalabadira. Iye amene wosakwatira alabadira zinthu za Ambuye, kuti akondweretse Ambuye; koma iye wokwatira alabadira zinthu za dziko lapansi, kuti akondweretse mkazi wake. Ndi mkazi wokwatiwa ndi namwali asiyananso. Iye wosakwatiwa alabadira za Ambuye, kuti akhale woyera m’thupi ndi mumzimu; koma wokwatiwayo, alabadira za dziko lapansi, kuti akondweretse mwamunayo.”​—1 Akorinto 7:32-34.

Chifukwa Chimene Maukwati Ena Amathera

14, 15. Kodi ndi zinthu zotani zimene zingafooketse mgwirizano wa anthu okwatirana?

¹⁴ Mayi wina wachikristu posachedwapa anamva ululu wosudzulidwa atakhala m’banja kwa zaka 12 kenaka mwamuna wake n’kuyamba chibwenzi ndi mkazi wina. Kodi anayamba wamudabwapo mwamuna wakeyo asanasudzulane? Inde, chifukwa mkaziyu anati: “Mwamuna wanga anafika pakuti sankapempheranso. Ankakhala ndi tizifukwa tongonamizira tojombera kumisonkhano yachikristu ndiponso kolalikira. Ankanena kuti n’ngotanganidwa kwambiri kapena kuti watopa kwambiri moti alibe nthawi yoti akhale ndi ine. Sankakakambirana nane zinthu. Sitinkakambirana zinthu zilizonse zauzimu. N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti anachita kufika pamenepa. Mmene tinkakwatirana sanali munthu wotere ngakhale pang’ono.”

¹⁵ Enanso amanena kuti zizindikiro zake zimakhala zangati zomwezi, kuphatikizaponso kunyalanyaza phunziro laumwini la Baibulo, kupemphera, ndiponso kupita kumisonkhano yachikristu. Kapena mwachidule tinganene kuti anthu ambiri amene anafika poleka akazi kapena amuna awo anatero chifukwa chakuti analola kuti ubwenzi wawo ndi Yehova ufooke. Motero, anayamba kusaona zinthu m’njira yauzimu. Yehova sankamuonanso ngati Mulungu weniweni. Dziko latsopano lachilungamo sankalionanso ngati lenileni. Ena anali oti anayamba kale kufooka mwauzimu asanayambe kugwirizana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wachibwenziyo.​—Ahebri 10:38, 39; 11:6; 2 Petro 3:13, 14.

16. Kodi n’chiyani chimalimbitsa banja?

¹⁶ Mosiyana ndi zimenezi, mwamuna ndi mkazi wina omwe ali osangalala muukwati wawo anati n’ngosangalala chifukwa chakuti n’ngolimba mwauzimu. Amapempherera pamodzi ndiponso amawerengera pamodzi. Mwamunayo anati: “Timawerengera Baibulo pamodzi. Timalowa m’munda pamodzi. Timasangalala tikamachitira zinthu limodzi.” Zimene tikuphunzirapo apa n’zosachita kufunsa: Kupitiriza kukhala ndi ubwenzi wabwino ndi Yehova kungathandize kwambiri kuti banja likhale lolimba.

Musamalimbane ndi Zinthu Zosatheka Komanso Muzilankhulana

17. (a) Kodi ndi zinthu ziwiri ziti zimene zimathandiza kuti banja liziyenda bwino? (b) Kodi Paulo analongosola motani za chikondi chachikristu?

¹⁷ Pali zinthu zinanso ziwiri zimene zimathandiza kuti ukwati uziyenda bwino: Chikondi chachikristu ndiponso kulankhulana. Mwamuna ndi mkazi akamayamba kukondana, nthawi zambiri aliyense amanyalanyaza zophophonya za mnzakeyo. Anthuwo angalowe m’banja akuganizira kuti mnzawo azikachita zinthu zinazake zomwe kwenikweni mnzawoyo sangathe. Mwina angaganize choncho potengera za m’mabuku kapena m’mafilimu. Komano akadzalowa m’banja anthuwo amadzatseguka m’maso. Amadzapeza kuti zophophonya zing’onozing’ono kapena tizizolowezi tinatake tosasangalatsa tingathe kusanduka mavuto aakulu. Ngati zimenezi zitachitika, Akristu ayenera kusonyeza chipatso chamzimu, ndipo chikondi ndi mbali yachipatso chimenechi. (Agalatiya 5:22, 23) Inde, chikondi ndi champhamvu kwambiri, koma chikondi chake si chongokopeka ndi munthu ayi koma chikondi chachikristu. Paulo analongosola kuti  chikondi chachikristu choterechi “chikhala chilezere, chili chokoma mtima; . . . sichitsata za mwini yekha, sichipsa mtima, sichilingirira zoipa . . . chikwirira zinthu zonse, chikhulupirira zinthu zonse, chiyembekeza zinthu zonse, chipirira zinthu zonse.” (1 Akorinto 13:4-7) N’zoonekeratu apa kuti munthu wachikondi chenicheni amaganizira ena pa zofooka zawo. Sayembekezera kuti zinthu zonse zizichitika mwangwiro.​—Miyambo 10:12.

18. Kodi kulankhulana kungalimbikitse bwanji ubwenzi?

¹⁸ Kulankhulana nakonso n’kofunika kwambiri. Ngakhale anthu atakhala m’banja kwa zaka zambiri motani, ayenerabe kulankhulana ndiponso kumamvetseradi mnzawo akamawalankhula. Mwamuna wina anati: “Timauzana zakukhosi kwathu koma mopatsana ulemu.” Mwamuna ndi mkazi akadziwana bwino, amaphunzira kumvetsera zimene mnzawoyo akunena komanso zimene sakunena. Kapena tinene kuti, zaka zikamatha, anthu amene ukwati wawo ukuyenda bwino amatha kudziwa zimene mnzawo akuganiza ngakhale atapanda kuzinena. Pali akazi ena amene amadandaula kuti amuna awo sasonyeza chidwi iwowo akamawalankhula. Ndiye palinso amuna ena amene amadandaula kuti akazi awo amawalankhulitsa panthawi yolakwika kwambiri. Kulankhulana kumafuna kuganizirana ndiponso kumvetsetsana. Kulankhulana bwino n’kofunika kwa mwamuna ndiponso mkazi.​—Yakobo 1:19.

19. (a) Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani kupepesa kumavuta nthawi zina? (b) Kodi n’chiyani chimene chingatilimbikitse kuti tipepese?

¹⁹ Nthawi zina kuti muzitha kulankhulana bwino pamafunika kupepesana mukalakwirana. Koma kupepesa kumakhala kovuta nthawi zina. Munthu amayenera kudzichepetsa kuti avomereze zolakwa zake. Komatu kupepesa n’kofunika kwambiri muukwati. Kupepesa mochoka pansi pamtima kungachotse kavuto kamene kangadzakuchititseni kukangana patsogolo ndiponso kungathandize kuti mukhululukirane zenizeni n’kupeza njira yothetsera vuto lanu. Paulo anati pitirizani “kulolerana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana eni okha, ngati wina ali nacho chifukwa pa mnzake; monganso Ambuye anakhululukira inu, teroni inunso; koma koposa izi zonse khalani nacho chikondano, ndicho chomangira cha mtima wamphumphu.”​—Akolose 3:13, 14.

20. Kodi Mkristu amayenera kum’chitira zotani mkazi wake akakhala kwaokha komanso pakakhala anthu ena?

²⁰ Chofunikanso m’banja ndicho kuchita zinthu  mothandizana. Mwamuna ndi mkazi wachikristu ayenera kukhulupirirana ndiponso kudalirana. Pasamakhale wina wopondereza mnzake kapena kum’chititsa kuti azidzimva ngati wachabechabe. Mwachikondi, tiyenera kuyamikira amuna kapena akazi athu; sibwino kuwadzudzula mowapweteketsa mtima. (Miyambo 31:28b) Ndithu, sitiyenera kuwanyoza ndi nthabwala zopusa ndiponso zosawaganizira. (Akolose 4:6) Mgwirizano woterewu umalimba pochita zinthu zosonyezana chikondi nthawi zonse. Kungokhudzana chabe kapena kungonena mawu enaake achikondi kungachititse mnzanu kumva kuti mukumutsimikizira kuti: “Ndimakukondabe. Ndine wosangalala kuti ndiwe wanga.” Zimenezi ndi zina mwa zinthu zimene zingalimbikitse ubwenzi wam’banja ndiponso kuti ukwati uyende bwino masiku ano. Koma, si zokhazi ayi ndipo nkhani yotsatirayi isonyeza malangizo ena a m’Malemba othandiza kuti ukwati uziyenda bwino. *

[Mawu a M’munsi]

Kodi Mungathe Kufotokoza?

• Kodi zina mwa zinthu zimene zingasokoneze ukwati ndi ziti?

• Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani si kwanzeru kuthamangira kulowa m’banja?

• Kodi khalidwe la munthu lauzimu limakhudza bwanji ukwati wake?

• Kodi ndi zinthu zotani zimene zimathandiza kuti banja likhale lolimba?

[Mafunso]

[Chithunzi patsamba 12]

Ukwati si kungokopana ayi

[Zithunzi patsamba 14]

Kugwirizana kwambiri ndi Yehova kumathandiza okwatirana kuyendetsa bwino ukwati wawo