Kulankhula Mwaulemu Kumathandiza Kuti Tizikhala Bwino ndi Ena

“Nthawi zonse mawu anu azikhala achisomo.”​—AKOL. 4:6.

1, 2. Kodi chinachitika ndi chiyani m’bale wina atalankhula mwaulemu?

M’BALE wina ananena kuti: “Tsiku lina ndikulalikira khomo ndi khomo, ndinapeza munthu wina yemwe anakwiya kwambiri nditamulalikira moti milomo yake ndiponso thupi lake zinkanjenjemera. Ndinayesetsa kukambirana naye Malemba koma izi zinangochititsa kuti mkwiyo wake uwonjezeke. Mkazi ndi ana ake analowerera n’kuyambanso kundinyoza ndipo ndinaona kuti ndibwino kungochokapo. Ndinawauza kuti zimene ndinabwerera ndi zamtendere, ndipo ndikufuna kubwereranso mwamtendere. Ndinawasonyeza lemba la Agalatiya 5:22 ndi 23 lomwe limanena za chikondi, kufatsa, kudziletsa ndiponso mtendere. Kenako ndinanyamuka n’kumapita.

² “Ndikulalikira nyumba za tsidya lina la msewu ndinaona banja lija litakhala pakhonde. Atandiona anandiitana. Pamenepa ndinadzifunsa kuti, ‘kodi anthu amenewa akufunanso chiyani?’ Bambo uja anali atatenga madzi ozizira ndipo anandipatsako kuti ndimwe. Anapepesa kwambiri chifukwa cha chipongwe chimene anandichitira chija ndipo anandiyamikira chifukwa cha chikhulupiriro changa cholimba. Kenako tinasiyana bwinobwino.”

3. N’chifukwa chiyani sitiyenera kukwiya ndi zochita za anthu ena?

³ Masiku ano pali zinthu zambiri zimene zimavutitsa anthu maganizo, choncho sitingalephere kukumana ndi anthu olusa. Timakumana ndi anthu oterewa ngakhale tikakhala mu utumiki. Zikatere, ndi bwino kusonyeza ‘mtima wofatsa ndiponso ulemu waukulu.’ (1 Pet. 3:15) M’bale amene tamutchula poyamba uja nayenso akanakwiya, zinthu sizikanatha bwino chifukwa zimenezi zikanangochititsa kuti mkwiyo wa munthu uja uwonjezeke. Koma popeza m’baleyo anachita zinthu modziletsa ndipo analankhula mwaulemu, zotsatira zake zinali zabwino.

Kodi Kulankhula Mwaulemu N’kutani?

4. N’chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kulankhula mwaulemu?

⁴ Kaya tikuchita zinthu ndi anthu omwe sali mumpingo, omwe ali mumpingo kapena anthu a m’banja lathu, tifunika kutsatira malangizo a Paulo akuti: “Nthawi zonse mawu anu azikhala achisomo, okoleretsa ndi mchere.” (Akol. 4:6) Mawu abwino chonchi, amathandiza kuti anthu azilankhulana bwino ndiponso azikhala mwamtendere.

5. Kodi kulankhula bwino sikutanthauza chiyani? Perekani chitsanzo.

⁵ Kulankhula bwino sikutanthauza kuti tikakhumudwa tizingolankhula chilichonse chimene taganiza kapena mmene tikumvera. Malemba amasonyeza kuti munthu wolephera kudziletsa akakwiya, ndiye kuti ndi wopanda nzeru. (Werengani Miyambo 25:28; 29:11.) Mose yemwe panthawiyo anali “wofatsa woposa anthu onse,” anakwiya chifukwa cha kupanduka kwa mtundu wa Isiraeli ndipo izi zinachititsa kuti alephere kulemekeza Mulungu. Mawu a Mose anasonyeza mmene iye ankamvera koma Yehova sanasangalale nazo. Iye anatsogolera mtundu wa Isiraeli kwa zaka 40, koma sanakhale ndi mwayi wolowetsa mtunduwo m’Dziko Lolonjezedwa.​—Num. 12:3; 20:10, 12; Sal. 106:32.

6. Kodi kulankhula mwanzeru kumatanthauza chiyani?

⁶ Malemba amatilimbikitsa kuti tizikhala odziletsa,  anzeru ndiponso oganiza bwino polankhula. Baibulo limati: “Pochuluka mawu zolakwa sizisoweka; koma wokhala chete achita mwanzeru.” (Miy. 10:19; 17:27) Komabe sikuti munthu wanzeru safotokoza maganizo ake. Iye amalankhula ‘mawu achisomo’ pofuna kuthandiza ena osati kuwavulaza.​—Werengani Miyambo 12:18; 18:21.

Nthawi Yokhala Chete Ndiponso Nthawi Yolankhula

7. Kodi tiyenera kupewa zinthu ziti ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani?

⁷ Anthufe timafunika kulankhula mwaulemu ndiponso modziletsa ndi anthu amene timagwira nawo ntchito ndiponso amene timakumana nawo mu utumiki. Tiyeneranso kuchita chimodzimodzi ndi anthu a mumpingo ndiponso a m’banja lathu. Kulankhula mopsa mtima popanda kuganizira zotsatira zake, kungachititse kuti ifeyo ndiponso anthu ena tivutike mwauzimu, mwamaganizo ndiponso mwakuthupi. (Miy. 18:6, 7) Popeza ndife opanda ungwiro, tiyenera kukhala odziletsa pa maganizo olakwika amene timakhala nawo. Kulankhula mawu achipongwe, mawu onyoza ndiponso kupsa mtima, n’koipa. (Akol. 3:8; Yak. 1:20) Kukhoza kusokoneza ubwenzi wathu ndi anthu ena komanso Yehova. Yesu anaphunzitsa kuti: “Aliyense wopitiriza kupsera mtima m’bale wake apalamula mlandu wa kukhoti. Koma aliyense wonenera m’bale wake mawu oipa achipongwe apalamula mlandu wa ku Khoti Lapamwamba. Ndipo aliyense wonena mnzake kuti, ‘Chitsiru iwe!’ adzapita ku Gehena wamoto.”​—Mat. 5:22.

8. Kodi ndi pa zochitika zotani pamene tiyenera kulankhula maganizo athu, koma tiyenera kuchita zimenezi motani?

⁸ Koma pamakhala nkhani zina zimene tingaone kuti ndi bwino kulankhulapo. Ngati m’bale wina walankhula kapena kuchita zinthu zomwe zakukhumudwitsani, ndipo mukuona kuti n’zosatheka kungoziiwala, musalole kuti zizingokupwetekani mumtima. (Miy. 19:11) Munthu wina akukupsetsani mtima, yesetsani kuugwira mtima ndipo kenako chitani zinthu zimene zingathandize kuti muthetse vutolo. Paulo analemba kuti: “Dzuwa lisalowe muli chikwiyire.” Popeza nkhaniyo ikukuvutitsani maganizo, muyenera kupeza nthawi yabwino kuti mukambirane ndipo yesetsani kulankhula ndi munthuyo mokoma mtima. (Werengani Aefeso 4:26, 27, 31, 32.) Muyenera ku kambirana ndi m’baleyo momasuka koma mwaulemu ndipo cholinga chanu chikhale chakuti mugwirizanenso.​—Lev. 19:17; Mat. 18:15.

9. N’chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kudikira kaye kuti mtima wathu ukhale m’malo tisanapite kukakambirana ndi munthu amene watilakwira?

⁹ Koma muyenera kupeza nthawi yoyenerera chifukwa Baibulo limati pali “mphindi yakutonthola ndi mphindi yakulankhula.” (Mlal. 3:1, 7) Limanenanso kuti, “mtima wa wolungama uganizira za mayankhidwe.” (Miy. 15:28) Zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti nthawi zina tingafunike kudikira kaye tisanakambirane ndi munthuyo. Tikutero chifukwa chakuti kukambirana muli wokwiya, kungangowonjezera vutolo komabe sibwinonso kudikira nthawi yaitali.

Kuchita Zinthu Mwaulemu Kumathandiza Kuti Tizikhala Bwino ndi Ena

10. Kodi kuchitira ena zabwino kungathandize bwanji kuti tizigwirizana nawo?

¹⁰ Kulankhula mwaulemu ndiponso momasuka kumathandiza kuti anthu azigwirizana komanso azikhala mwamtendere. Ndipotu kuyesetsa kuti tizigwirizana kwambiri ndi anthu, kungathandize kuti tizilankhulana nawo momasuka. Kuyesetsa kupeza mpata woti tizicheza ndi ena, kuwathandiza, kuwapatsa mphatso ndiponso kuwachereza, kungathandizenso kuti tizilankhula nawo momasuka. Mwakuchita zimenezi, ‘tingaunjike makala a moto’ pa anthuwo ndipo zimenezi zingachititse kuti makhalidwe awo abwino aonekere ndipo zingakhale zosavuta kuti tizilankhulana nawo bwinobwino.​—Aroma 12:20, 21.

11. Kodi Yakobo anatani kuti agwirizanenso ndi Esau ndipo zotsatira zake zinali zotani?

¹¹ Yakobo ankadziwa kuti kuchitira ena zabwino kumathandiza kuti anthu agwirizanenso. Pa nthawi ina, m’bale wake Esau anakwiya kwambiri ndipo Yakobo anathawa poopa kuti amupha. Patapita zaka zambiri iye anaganiza zobwerera kwawo. Esau anapita kukamuchingamira atatenga amuna okwana 400. Yakobo anapempha Yehova kuti amuthandize. Kenako anatumizira Esau mphatso zambiri za ziweto. Mphatso zimenezi zinathandiza kwambiri. Pamene ankakumana, n’kuti mtima wa Esau utakhala m’malo moti anathamangira Yakobo n’kumukumbatira.​—Gen. 27:41-44; 32:6, 11, 13-15; 33:4, 10.

Muzilimbikitsa Ena mwa Kulankhula Mwaulemu

12. N’chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kulankhula mwaulemu kwa abale ndi alongo athu?

¹² Akhristu amatumikira Mulungu osati anthu anzawo. Ngakhale zili choncho, sitifuna kukhumudwitsa anzathu. Kulankhula mwaulemu kungachepetse nkhawa zimene abale ndi alongo athu amakhala nazo. Koma kulankhula ndi ena mowanyoza kapena mosonyeza kuti tikuwaimba mlandu, kungaonjezere mavuto a anthuwo mwina mpaka kufika pokayikira ngati Yehova akusangalala nawobe. Choncho tiyeni tiziyesetsa kukambirana ndi anthu zinthu zowalimbikitsa pogwiritsa ntchito “mawu alionse omanga monga kungafunikire, kuti asangalatse owamva.”​—Aef. 4:29.

13. Kodi akulu ayenera kukumbukira chiyani (a) popereka uphungu? (b) polemba makalata?

¹³ Makamaka akulu ayenera kukhala “odekha” ndiponso achikondi pochita zinthu ndi nkhosa. (1 Ates. 2:7, 8) Pakafunika kuti akulu apereke uphungu, ayenera kukhala ndi cholinga chochita zimenezo “mofatsa” ngakhale polankhula ndi anthu “otsutsa.” (2 Tim. 2:24, 25) Akulu ayeneranso kugwiritsa ntchito mawu aulemu polemba makalata opita kumipingo ina kapena ku ofesi ya nthambi. Mogwirizana ndi lemba la Mateyo 7:12, iwo ayenera kuchita zinthu mokoma mtima ndiponso mosamala.

Muzilankhulana Mwaulemu M’banja

14. Ndi malangizo ati amene Paulo anapereka kwa amuna, ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani?

¹⁴ Anthufe nthawi zina timaiwala kuti tikamalankhula, mawu athu, maonekedwe a nkhope ndiponso thupi lathu zimakhudza amene tikulankhula nawowo. Mwachitsanzo, amuna ena sadziwa mmene mawu awo amakhudzira akazi. Mlongo wina anati: “Ndimachita mantha mwamuna wanga akandilankhula mokweza atapsa mtima.” Mawu amphamvu omwe angakhale abwinobwino kwa mwamuna angavutitse mkazi moti sangawaiwale. (Luka 2:19) Zimenezi kwenikweni zimachitika ngati walankhula mawuwo ndi munthu amene mkaziyo amamukonda ndiponso amamulemekeza. Paulo analangiza amuna kuti: “Musaleke kukonda akazi anu ndipo musawapsere mtima.”​—Akol. 3:19.

15. Perekani chitsanzo chosonyeza chifukwa chake mwamuna ayenera kukhala osamala pochita zinthu ndi mkazi wake.

 ¹⁵ Pa nkhani imeneyi, m’bale wina amene wakhala m’banja kwa nthawi yaitali anapereka chitsanzo chosonyeza chifukwa chake amuna ayenera kuchita zinthu ndi akazi awo monga “chiwiya chosalimba.” Iye anati: “Chiwiya chosalimba chimafunika kuchisamalira bwino chifukwa kupanda kutero, chikhoza kukalikakalika. Ngakhale mutachikonza, sichingamaoneke bwino ngati mmene chinkaonekera poyamba. Mwamuna akamalankhula mawu okalipa kwa mkazi wake, mkaziyo angamavutike maganizo. Zimenezi zingabweretse mavuto osatherapo mu ukwati wawo.”​—Werengani 1 Petulo 3:7.

16. Kodi mkazi angathandize bwanji kuti banja lake likhale lolimba?

¹⁶ Amuna nawonso akhoza kulimbikitsidwa kapena kukhumudwa ndi mawu a anthu ena kuphatikizapo akazi awo. “Mkazi wanzeru” amene ‘mwamuna wake amam’khulupirira’ amachita zinthu moganizira mwamuna wake. Iye amachita zimenezi podziwa kuti nayenso amafuna kuti mwamuna wakeyo azichita zinthu momuganizira. (Miy. 19:14; 31:11) Mkazi angachititse kuti zinthu m’banja lake ziziyenda bwino kapena ayi. Baibulo limati: “Mkazi yense wanzeru amanga banja lake; koma wopusa alipasula ndi manja ake.”​—Miy. 14:1.

17. (a) Kodi ana ayenera kulankhula bwanji ndi makolo awo? (b) Kodi akuluakulu ayenera kulankhula bwanji ndi ana, ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani?

¹⁷ Makolo ndi ana ayeneranso kumalankhulana mwaulemu. (Mat. 15:4) Makolo akamalankhula ndi ana, kuganiza kaye kungawathandize kuti ‘asamawakwiyitse’ kapena ‘kuwapsetsa mtima.’ (Akol. 3:21; Aef. 6:4) Ngakhale pamene akuwalangiza, makolo ndiponso akulu ayenera kulankhula nawo mwaulemu. Akamachita zimenezi iwo amathandiza kuti anawo asinthe ndiponso kuti akhalebe mabwenzi a Mulungu. Zimenezi n’zothandiza kwambiri kusiyana ndi kuwachititsa kuganiza kuti sangathandizike chifukwa kuchita zimenezi kungawapangitse kuti azidziona kuti ndi okanika. Ana sangadzakumbukire malangizo onse amene anapatsidwa koma angadzakumbukire mmene ena anawalankhulira.

Muzilankhula Zinthu Zabwino Kuchokera Mumtima

18. Kodi tingatani kuti tithetse mkwiyo mumtima mwathu?

¹⁸ Kudziletsa pa nthawi imene takwiya sikutanthauza kungoyesetsa  kuti tisadziwike kuti tapsa mtima. Cholinga chathu chisamangokhala choti anthu asadziwe mmene tikumvera. Kukhala ngati tili bwinobwino koma mumtima titakwiya koopsa, kungachititse kuti tizivutika maganizo. Zili ngati munthu amene akuyendetsa galimoto ndiye akuponda buleki ndiponso akuipemerera pa nthawi imodzimodzi. Izi zingasokoneze galimotoyo ndipo zingachititse ngozi yaikulu. Choncho sibwino kusunga mkwiyo mumtima n’kudzautulutsa mtsogolo. Pempherani kwa Yehova kuti akuthandizeni kuthetsa mkwiyo mumtima mwanu. Lolani kuti mzimu wa Yehova usinthe maganizo ndi mtima wanu kuti muzichita zinthu mogwirizana ndi cholinga chake.​—Werengani Aroma 12:2; Aefeso 4:23, 24.

19. Ndi zinthu ziti zimene zingathandize kupewa kupsetsana mitima tikasemphana maganizo ndi anthu ena?

¹⁹ Mukaona kuti mwapsa mtima kwambiri, chitani zinthu zimene zingakuthandizeni. Choyamba, ndi bwino kungochoka kaye pamalopo kuti mtima wanu ukhazikike. (Miy. 17:14) Ngati munthu amene mukulankhula naye wayamba kulankhula mokwiya, yesetsani kulankhula modekha ndiponso mwaulemu. Kumbukirani kuti: “Mayankhidwe ofatsa abweza mkwiyo; koma mawu owawitsa aputa msunamo.” (Miy. 15:1) Mawu okhadzula kapena ankhanza angangochititsa kuti zinthu ziipireipire ngakhale atalankhulidwa motsitsa. (Miy. 26:21) Choncho mukaona kuti zinthu zikupita koipa yesetsani kukhala “wodekha polankhula, wosafulumira kukwiya.” Pemphani Yehova kuti akupatseni mzimu wake kuti ukuthandizeni kulankhula zabwino osati zoipa.​—Yak. 1:19.

Muzikhululuka ndi Mtima Wonse

20, 21. Kodi n’chiyani chingatithandize kukhululukira ena, ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kuchita zimenezo?

²⁰ N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti palibe amene angalamulire lilime lake bwinobwino. (Yak. 3:2) Ngakhale atayesetsa bwanji, anthu a m’banja lathu komanso abale ndi alongo athu mumpingo nthawi zina angalankhule zinthu zimene zingatikhumudwitse. M’malo mofulumira kukhumudwa, lezani mtima kaye ndipo ganizira zimene zawachititsa kuti anene zimenezo. (Werengani Mlaliki 7:8, 9.) Mwina angakhale atachita zimenezo chifukwa chopanikizika, mantha, kudwala kapena mavuto ena amene ife sitikuwadziwa.

²¹ Zinthu zimenezi si zifukwa zomveka zolankhulira mokalipa. Komabe kudziwa zimene zawachititsa, kungatithandize kumvetsa chifukwa chake anthu nthawi zina amalankhula kapena kuchita zinthu zosayenera ndipo kungatichititsenso kuwakhululukira. Tonsefe nthawi zina timalankhula kapena kuchita zinthu zimene zimakhumudwitsa ena ndipo zikatero timafuna kuti atikhululukire ndi mtima wonse. (Mlal. 7:21, 22) Yesu ananena kuti Mulungu angatikhululukire ngati ifenso timakhululukira ena. (Mat. 6:14, 15; 18:21, 22, 35) Choncho m’banja ndi mumpingo, tiyenera kufulumira kupepesa ndiponso kukhululuka kuti tilimbikitse chikondi chomwe ndi “chomangira umodzi changwiro.”​—Akol. 3:14.

22. N’chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kuyesetsa kwambiri kulankhula mwaulemu?

²² Zinthu zimene zingasokoneze chimwemwe ndiponso mgwirizano wathu zizichulukirachulukira pamene dongosolo lino la anthu okwiya latsala pang’ono kutha. Kutsatira mfundo za m’Mawu a Mulungu kungatithandize kugwiritsa ntchito lilime lathu kulankhula zinthu zabwino osati zoipa. Tikamachita zimenezi, tidzakhala mwamtendere mumpingo ndiponso m’banja. Chitsanzo chathu chidzathandiza kuchitira umboni kwa ena za Yehova Mulungu wathu yemwe ndi “wa chisangalalo.”​—1 Tim. 1:11.

Kodi Mungafotokoze?

• Pakakhala vuto linalake, n’chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kupeza nthawi yabwino kuti tikambirane?

• N’chifukwa chiyani anthu ayenera kulankhulana mwaulemu m’banja?

• Kodi tingapewe bwanji kulankhula zinthu zopsetsa mtima?

• Kodi n’chiyani chingatithandize kuti tizikhululukira ena?

[Mafunso]

[Zithunzi patsamba 21]

Muzidikira kaye kuti mtima wanu ukhale m’malo kenako n’kupeza nthawi yabwino yoti mukambirane

[Chithunzi patsamba 23]

Nthawi zonse mwamuna ayenera kulankhula ndi mkazi wake mokoma mtima