Limbikitsani Banja Lanu ndi “Mawu Okondweretsa”

BAMBO wina dzina lake David anali m’galimoto kudikirira mkazi wake yemwe anali m’nyumba. Koma amati akayang’ana pa wotchi, kunjira kunali zii mkazi wake osabwera. Zimenezi zinam’kwiyitsa kwambiri. Kenako mkazi wake Diane anatulukira. Apa bamboyo analephera kuugwira mtima ndipo anakalipa kwambiri.

Bamboyo anati: “Kodi umatani nthawi yonseyi? Umangokhalira kuchedwa nthawi zonse. Kodi sungafulumireko nthawi ina?”

Zimenezi zinam’pweteka kwambiri Diane. Iye anangobwereranso m’nyumba akulira. Apatu bamboyo anazindikira kuti sanalankhule bwino. Kukalipako kunangoipitsa zinthu. Kodi iye akanachita chiyani tsopano? Iye anangotsika m’galimotoyo mwamanyazi ndi kutsatira mkaziyo m’nyumbamo.

N’zoona kuti zinthu ngati zimenezi zimachitikadi m’banja. Kodi munayamba mwanong’onezapo bondo chifukwa cha zinthu zimene munalankhula mosaganiza bwino? Izi kawirikawiri zingachitike ngati talankhula tisanaganize bwino. N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limati: “Mtima wa wolungama uganizira za mayankhidwe.”​—Miyambo 15:28.

Koma n’zovuta kuganiza bwino tisanalankhule makamaka tikakwiya, tikakhala ndi mantha kapena tikakhumudwa. Nthawi zambiri tikamalankhula ndi achibale athu n’zosavuta kutsutsana ndi kulozana zala. Ndipo chifukwa cha zimenezi tingakhumudwitsane kapena tingakangane.

Kodi tingatani kuti tizilankhulana bwino? Nanga tingapewe bwanji kuchita zinthu mokwiya? Tingapeze mfundo zothandiza pa nkhaniyi tikaona zimene Solomo yemwe analemba nawo Baibulo ananena.

Ganizirani Zimene Mukufuna Kunena Ndiponso Mmene Munganenere

Solomo yemwe analemba buku la Mlaliki la m’Baibulo analemba mosapita m’mbali kuti moyo ndi wachabechabe. Ndipo zikuoneka kuti nkhaniyi ankaiganizira kwambiri chifukwa panthawi ina anati: “Ndinada moyo.” (Mlaliki 2:17) Koma Solomo sanalembe mawu odandaula okhaokha m’buku la Mlaliki. Iye anaona kuti si bwino kulemba zodandaula zokhazokha. M’mawu ake omaliza m’bukuli, Solomo ananena kuti ‘anasanthula kuti apeze mawu okondweretsa, ndi zolemba zoongoka ngakhale mawu oona.’ (Mlaliki 12:10) Baibulo lina pa vesili limati, ‘anapeza mawu okomera anthu ndi kulemba molongosola mawu oona.’​—Malembo Oyera.

N’zoonekeratu kuti Solomo anazindikira kuti anafunikira kudziletsa pa zimene anali kulemba. Choncho iye polemba ankadzifunsa kuti:  ‘Kodi zimene ndikufuna kulembazi n’zoonadi ndiponso n’zolondola? Kodi mawu amene ndikufuna kulembawa, anthu awakondweretsa?’ Chifukwa choti iye anapeza “mawu okondweretsa” a choonadi, anadziletsa kuti asalembe zinthu zosafunikira.

Zimenezi zinachititsa kuti buku la Mlaliki likhale losangalatsa kwambiri powerenga. Bukuli ndi nkhokwe ya nzeru za Mulungu zothandiza pa moyo. (2 Timoteyo 3:16, 17) Kodi mfundo zokhudza kukwiya zimene Solomo analembazi zingatithandize bwanji kulankhulana bwino ndi anzathu? Taonani chitsanzo chotsatirachi.

Yesetsani Kuugwira Mtima

Tinene kuti mwana akuchokera ku sukulu ali ndi chikalata chosonyeza mmene wakhozera mayeso ndipo akuoneka wokhumudwa kwambiri. Bambo ake akutenga chikalatacho ndipo akuona kuti mwanayo walephera phunziro linalake. Kenako, bamboyo wakwiya kwambiri podziwa kuti mwanayo nthawi zambiri sankalemba ntchito zokachitira ku nyumba. Ndiyeno akukalipa amvekere: “Iwe ndiye mbuli yeniyeni basi. Ukapitiriza zimenezi sudzakhala ndi tsogolo lililonse.”

M’malo mokalipa bamboyu akanachita bwino kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi zimene ndikuganizazi n’zoonadi?’ Funso limeneli lingam’thandize kuzindikira zoona zenizeni. (Miyambo 17:27) Kodi n’zoonadi kuti mwanayu sadzakhala ndi tsogolo chifukwa choti walephera phunziro linalake? Kodi iye ndi mbulidi, kapena salemba ntchito zake zina za kusukulu chifukwa choti salimvetsa bwino phunzirolo? Baibulo mobwerezabwereza limafotokoza ubwino wochita zinthu moganiza bwino ndiponso mololera. (Tito 3:2; Yakobe 3:17) Kuti makolo alimbikitse mwana wawo, afunika kulankhula “mawu oona.”

Yesetsani Kulankhula Bwino

Bambo akafuna kunena chinthu, ndi bwino kudzifunsa kaye kuti, ‘Kodi ndingalankhule motani kuti zim’kondweretsa mwana wanga?’ Kunena zoona kulankhula bwino n’kovuta. Koma makolo ayenera kukumbukira kuti achinyamata kawirikawiri amaganiza kuti ngati akulephera kuchita bwino chinachake, ndiye kuti basi alibe tsogolo. Achinyamata akangolephera kamodzi, angayambe kukokomeza kulephera kwawoko ndi kumadziona kuti ndi achabechabe. Choncho ngati makolo amakalipira kwambiri ana awo, angachititse kuti anawo azidziona m’njira imeneyi. Lemba la Akolose 3:21 limati: “Musamakwiyitse ana anu, kuti asakhale opsinjika mtima.”

Kunena mawu akuti “nthawi zonse” ndiponso akuti “sunayambe wachitapo chakutichakuti” nthawi zambiri kumakhala kukokomeza zinthu. Kodi mwana angadzione kuti ndi wofunika ngati makolo akumunena kuti, “Palibe chabwino chilichonse chimene ungachite?” Ngati makolo amakonda kulankhula zimenezi, mwana angayambe kudziona kuti palibe chaphindu chimene angachite. Ndipo akamakonda kunena zimenezi amakhumudwitsa kwambiri mwanayo komanso si zoona kuti iye amalakwitsa nthawi zonse.

Ndi bwino nthawi zambiri kulankhula zinthu zolimbikitsa ngakhale zinthu zitaipa kwambiri. Bambo wa m’chitsanzo chimene tangochinena kumenechi akanatha kunena kuti: “Mwana wanga, ndaona kuti wakhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa chakuti phunziroli lakuvuta. Koma ndikudziwa kuti umalimbikira sukulu. Choncho tiye tikambirane za phunziroli kuti tione zimene ungachite kuti lisamakuvute.” Kuti apeze njira yabwino yothandizira mwanayo, bamboyo angafunsenso mwanayo mafunso ena kuti aone zinthu zina zimene zachititsa.

Kuchita zinthu mwanzeru kumeneku n’kothandiza kwambiri kusiyana ndi kumangokalipa. Baibulo limatitsimikizira kuti: “Mawu okoma ndi . . . otsekemera m’moyo ndi olamitsa mafupa.” (Miyambo 16:24) Kunena zoona ana kuphatikizapo ena onse m’banja amakhala osangalala ngati banja ndi lamtendere ndiponso lachikondi.

“Zosefukira mu Mtima”

Taganiziraninso bambo yemwe tam’tchula kuchiyambi kwa nkhani ino. Kodi sizikanakhala bwino akanalankhula “mawu okondweretsa”  a choonadi m’malo mongokalipira mkazi wake? Ngati zoterezi zingakuchitikireni muyenera kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Ngakhale kuti mkazi wanga afunikira kuyesetsa kuti asamachedwe, kodi n’zoonadi kuti nthawi zonse amachedwa? Kodi ino ndi nthawi yoyenera kumutchulira vuto lakeli? Kodi kum’kalipira kungathandize kuti asinthe?’ Kudzifunsa kaye mafunso amenewa kungatithandize kupewa kukhumudwitsa okondedwa athu mosadziwa.​—Miyambo 29:11.

Kodi tingatani ngati nthawi zonse m’banja timakangana tikamakambirana? Tingafunike kuganizira mozama malankhulidwe athu. Zimene timanena, makamaka tikakhumudwa kapena tikapanikizika maganizo, zimasonyeza zimene zili m’mtima mwathu. Yesu anati: “Pakamwa pamalankhula zosefukira mu mtima.” (Mateyo 12:34) M’mawu ena tingati zimene timalankhula zimasonyeza maganizo ndiponso makhalidwe athu.

Kodi timataya mtima msanga kapena timayembekezera kuti zinthu zidzakhala bwino? Ngati timatero, mmene mawu athu amamvekera ndiponso zolankhula zathu zidzasonyeza zimenezi. Kodi nthawi zambiri timakhwimitsa zinthu kapena timangotsutsa chilichonse? Ngati zili choncho, ndiye kuti tingalefule anthu ena ndi zimene timalankhula kapena mmene timazilankhulira. Nthawi zina sitingadziwe mmene maganizo athu kapena zolankhula zathu zimakhumudwitsira ena. Ndipo tingamaganize kuti zochita zathu nthawi zonse n’zolondola. Koma tisamale kuti tisadzinyenge tokha.​—Miyambo 14:12.

Mfundo yosangalatsa ndi yoti tili ndi Mawu a Mulungu. Baibulo lingatithandize kuona bwinobwino maganizo amene ali olondola ndiponso amene tifunikira kusintha. (Aheberi 4:12; Yakobe 1:25) Kaya tinabadwira m’banja lotani kapena tinaleredwa bwanji, ife tonse tingathe kusintha mmene timaganizira ndiponso timachitira zinthu ngati tikufunadi kutero.​—Aefeso 4:23, 24.

Kuwonjezera pa kugwiritsa ntchito Baibulo, tingachitenso chinachake kuti tione bwinobwino mmene timalankhulira. Tingafunse anthu ena. Mwachitsanzo, funsani mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu kapenanso mwana wanu kuti akuuzeni moona mtima mmene mukuchitira pa nkhaniyi. Funsani mnzanu wokhwima maganizo amene amakudziwani bwino. Mufunika kukhala wodzichepetsa kuti muvomereze ndiponso mukonze zimene akukuuzani.

Ganizirani Kaye Musanalankhule

Ngati tikufunadi kuti tisamakhumudwitse ena polankhula, tiyenera kuchita zimene lemba la Miyambo 16:23 limanena kuti: “Mtima wa wanzeru uchenjeza m’kamwa mwake, nuphunzitsanso milomo yake.” Nthawi zina tingalephere kuugwira mtima. Koma tikamayesetsa kuwamvetsa anthu ena m’malo mowachititsa manyazi kapena kuwanyoza, sitidzavutika kupeza mawu abwino polankhula.

N’zoona kuti palibe munthu amene salakwitsa zinthu. (Yakobe 3:2) Nthawi zina timalankhula tisanaganize bwino. (Miyambo 12:18) Koma Mawu a Mulungu angatithandize kuti tiziganizira kaye tisanalankhule ndiponso kuika zofuna za ena patsogolo. (Afilipi 2:4) Tiyeni tikhale otsimikiza kupeza “mawu okondweretsa” a choonadi, makamaka tikamalankhula ndi achibale athu. Tikatero tidzapewa kukhumudwitsa ndiponso kunyoza anthu omwe timawakonda, ndipo m’malo mwake tidzawalimbikitsa.​—Aroma 14:19.

[Chithunzi patsamba 12]

Kodi tingapewe bwanji kulankhula zinthu zimene zingatichititse kunong’oneza bondo?