Anthu amachitiridwa zachipongwe m’njira zosiyanasiyana zokhudzana ndi kugonana monga kuwagwira malo osayenera kapena kuwauza nkhani zopusa. Koma nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kusiyanitsa pakati pa kucheza, kukopana ndi kuchitiridwa zachipongwe.

 Kodi inuyo mukudziwa kusiyana kwa zinthu zimenezi? Kuti mudziwe, yankhani  mafunso okhudza kuchitiridwa zachipongwe omwe ali kumapeto kwa nkhaniyi.

 N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti anthu ena amachitiridwabe zachipongwe ngakhale atamaliza maphunziro awo akusekondale. Koma ngati panopa mungaphunzire zimene muyenera kuchita anthu akamakuchitirani zimenezi, mudzathanso kudziteteza kwa anthu okonda khalidwe loipali omwe mungakumane nawo mukadzayamba ntchito. Mwinanso mungathandize munthu wokonda kuchitira ena zachipongwe kuti asiye khalidwe limeneli.

 Anthu angasiye kukuchitirani zachipongwe ngati mutadziwa za khalidweli komanso zoyenera kuchita. Taonani zitsanzo zitatuzi ndipo muganizire zimene inuyo mukanachita ngati mukanakumana ndi zoterezi.

CHITSANZO:

“Kuntchito, azibambo ena ankakonda kundiuza kuti ndine chiphadzuwa. Ankandiuzanso kuti iwowo akanakonda akanakhala achinyamata. Mzibambo wina mpaka anabwera kumbuyo kwanga n’kununkhiza tsitsi langa.”—Tabitha, wazaka 20.

 Tabitha akanatha kuganiza kuti: ‘Ndingonyalanyaza komanso kupirira, mwina adzasiya khalidweli.’

 Chifukwa chake mwina zimenezo sizikanathandiza: Akatswiri amanena kuti ngati anthu amene akuchitiridwa zachipongwe akangokhala chete osachita chilichonse, nthawi zambiri anthu omwe akuwavutitsawo amapitiriza khalidweli ndipo zimafika poipa.

 M’malo mwake yesani kuchita izi: Lankhulani modekha koma mosapita m’mbali ndipo muuzeni munthu amene akukuchitirani zachipongweyo kuti asiyiretu khalidwe lakelo. Mtsikana wina wazaka 22 dzina lake Taryn anati: “Munthu wina akandigwira malo osayenera ndimangotembenuka n’kumuuza kuti asadzayerekezenso kundigwira. Nthawi zambiri munthu yemwe anandigwirayo amadabwa kwambiri ndikamuuza zimenezi.” Koma ngati munthuyo akupitirizabe, musagonje koma chitani zinthu molimba mtima. Pa nkhani yopitirizabe kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino, Baibulo limatilangiza kuti: “Mukhale okhwima mwauzimu ndi osakayika ngakhale pang’ono za chifuniro chonse cha Mulungu.”—Akolose 4:12.

 Nanga bwanji ngati munthu yemwe akukuchitirani zachipongweyo akukuwopsezani? Zikatero, musalimbane naye koma ingochokani pamalopo mofulumira ndipo mukauze munthu wina wamkulu kuti akuthandizeni.

CHITSANZO:

“Ndili kusekondale, tsiku lina atsikana awiri anandigwira n’kundikokera m’kanjira. M’modzi mwa atsikanawo ankakonda kugonana ndi atsikana anzake ndipo anandiuza kuti ndikhale chibwenzi chake. Ngakhale kuti ndinakana, tsiku lililonse pa buleki ankangopitirizabe kundivutitsa moti tsiku lina anandikankhira kukhoma.”—Victoria, 18.

 Victoria akanatha kuganiza kuti: ‘Ngati ndingauze ena nkhaniyi, anthu angandione ngati ndine wamantha, mwinanso sangakhulupirire.’

 Chifukwa chake mwina zimenezo sizikanathandiza: Ngati simungauze ena, munthuyo sangasiye kukuvutitsani ndipo mwina angayambenso kuchitira anthu ena zachipongwe.—Mlaliki 8:11.

 M’malo mwake yesani kuchita izi: Uzani ena. Makolo ndi aphunzitsi angakuthandizeni kuti anthu asiye kukuchitirani zachipongwe. Nanga bwanji ngati anthu amene mwawauzawo sakuchitapo chilichonse? Zikatero, yesani kuchita izi: Nthawi iliyonse munthu wina akakuchitirani zachipongwe, lembani zimene zachitika. Mungalembe zinthu ngati deti, nthawi, malo amene kwachitikira zinthuzo komanso zimene munthuyo wanena kapena kuchita. Lembani zinthu zofanana pamapepala angapo ndipo perekani pepala limodzi kwa makolo anu kapena aphunzitsi anu. Anthu ambiri amachitapo kanthu msanga mukalemba madandaulo anu m’malo mongowauza pakamwa.

CHITSANZO:

“Ndinkachita mantha kwambiri ndi mnyamata winawake yemwe ankasewera ragibe. Mnyamatayu anali wamtali kwambiri, wathupi komanso wadzitho. Iye ankafuna kuti ndigone naye ndipo ankandivutitsa pafupifupi tsiku lililonse kwa chaka chathunthu. Tsiku lina, tinatsala awiriwiri m’kalasi ndipo anayamba kundiyandikira. Ndinazindikira kuti zinthu sizitha bwino ndipo ndinangoimirira n’kuthawira panja.”—Julieta, wazaka 18.

 Julieta akanatha kuganiza kuti: ‘Palibe vuto, ndi mmene anyamata amachitira akaona mtsikana.’

 Chifukwa chake mwina zimenezo sizikanathandiza: Munthu amene akukuchitirani zachipongweyo sangasinthe khalidwe lakeko akaona kuti anthu akumusekerera.

 M’malo mwake yesani kuchita izi: Pewani kunyalanyaza kapena kusekerera munthu wina akamakuchitirani zachipongwe. Koma onetsetsani kuti mmene mukulankhulira komanso mmene nkhope yanu ikuonekera, simukufuna ngakhale pang’ono kuti munthuyo apitirize zimene akuchitazo.

 ZIMENE ZINACHITIKADI 1:

“Sindifuna kuchitira mwano anthu ena. Choncho pamene anyamata ena ankandichitira zachipongwe, ndinkawauza kuti asiye zimenezo, koma sindinkawauza mwamphamvu ndipo nthawi zambiri ndinkawauza ndikumwetulira. Zimenezi zinkachititsa anyamatawo kuganiza kuti zimene akuchitazo zikundisangalatsa ndiponso ndikuwafuna.”—Tabitha.

•   Inuyo mukanakhala Tabitha, kodi mukanatani ndi anyamata aja, ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani mukanachita zimenezo?

•   N’chiyani chingachititse munthu amene akukuchitirani zachipongwe kuganiza kuti musangalala ndi zochita zakezo?

 ZIMENE ZINACHITIKADI 2:

“Zinayamba ngati masewera pamene anyamata ena a m’kalasi mwathu anayamba kundinena mawu achipongwe. Ndinangonyalanyaza zimene ananenazo koma iwo anapitirizabe kundivutitsa kwa milungu ingapo ndipo zinthu zinafika poipa kwambiri. Kenako anyamatawo anayamba kukhala pafupi ndiine m’kalasi n’kumandikoleka manja m’mapewa. Ndinayesetsa kuwakankha koma sanasiye. Kenako m’modzi mwa anyamatawo anandipatsa kalata imene analembamo mawo onyoza komanso otukwana. Ndipereka kalatayo kwa aphunzitsi athu ndipo mnyamatayo anapatsidwa chilango choti asapitenso kusukuluko kwa milungu ingapo. Ndinazindikira kuti ndinafunikira kuuza aphunzitsi anyamatawo atangoyamba kumene kundichitira zachipongwezo.”—Sabina.

•   Mukuganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani Sabina sanauze aphunzitse ake anyamatawo atangoyamba kumene kumuchitira zachipongwe? Mukaganizira zimene iye anachita, kodi mungati anachita zoyenera kapena ayi? N’chifukwa chiyani mukuyankha choncho?

 ZIMENE ZINACHITIKADI 3:

“Tsiku lina mchimwene wanga Greg anapezedwa kubafa ndi mnyamata wina. Mnyamatayo anayandikira Greg n’kumuuza kuti ‘Ndipsompsone.’ Greg anakana koma mnyamatayo anaumirirabe. Zinthu zinafika poipa moti Greg anachita kumukankha mnyamatayo.”—Suzanne.

•   Kodi mukuganiza kuti Greg anachitiridwa zachipongwe? N’chifukwa chiyani mukuganiza choncho?

•   Mukuganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani anyamata ena sakonda kuuza ena akachitiridwa zachipongwe ndi anyamata anzawo?

•   Kodi mukuona kuti Greg anachita zinthu m’njira yabwino? Inuyo mukanakhala Greg, kodi mukanatani?