Mwana wanu akufuna kungosiya ntchito inayake yovuta imene akugwira. Ndiye akulira n’kumanena kuti: “Sindingakwanitse ine zimenezi, ndi zovuta.” Simukusangalala kuona mwanayo akuvutika, komabe mukufuna kuti aphunzire kuthana ndi mavuto payekha. Kodi pamenepa mungangoyamba kumuthandiza? Kodi mwina mungamuuze kuti angosiya? Kapena mungamuthandize kukhala wopirira?

 Kupirira ndi khalidwe lofunika kwambiri. Makolo akamaphunzitsa mwana wawo kukhala waluso pa zinthu zinazake chifukwa cha khama lake, mwanayo amakhala wanzeru kusukulu, amakhala wosangalala komanso wathanzi ndiponso amapeza anzake abwino kwambiri. Koma ngati makolo amangokhalira kuteteza mwana wawo kuti asamachite zinthu zomwe mwina akhoza kulephera komanso kuti asakumane ndi mavuto, mwanayo angadwale matenda ovutika maganizo, angamadzione kuti ndi wolephera komanso zingachititse kuti asamadzasangalale akadzakula.

 Munthu akhoza kuphunzira kukhala wopirira. Ngakhale ana aang’ono akhoza kuphunzira kuchita zinthu zovuta komanso kuthana ndi mavuto. Ochita kafukufuku ena anapeza kuti ana a chaka chimodzi ndi miyezi itatu, angaphunzire kumachita khama pa zinthu zomwe sizophweka, ngati angaone munthu wamkulu nayenso akuyesetsa kuchita khama pa zinthu zovuta, m’malo mongodutsa moyera.

 “Ndikukumbukira nthawi imene ndinkaphunzitsa ana anga aakazi kumanga zingwe za nsapato, ntchito imene munthu sangaiphunzire tsiku limodzi. Nthawi zonse akafuna kumanga zingwe za nsapato, ankatha maminitsi 10 mpaka 15 akuyesa kukumbukira mmene angamangire. Zikatere ndinkawathandiza. Anapitiriza kuyeserera kwa miyezi ingapo ndipo nthawi zina ankakhumudwa kapenanso kulira kumene, koma pamapeto pake anaphunzira kumanga zingwe za nsapato. Ndikanatha kumawagulira nsapato zopanda zingwe kuti ndisakhale ndi chintchito chowaphunzitsa. Koma nthawi zina makolofe timafunikanso kupirira kuti tiphunzitse ana athu kukhala opirira.”​—Colleen.

 Munthu akhoza kusiya kukhala wopirira. Mosadziwa, makolo akhoza kuchititsa kuti mwana wawo asakhale wopirira. Pofuna kuthandiza ana awo kuti azidziona kuti ndi ofunika, makolo ena amafulumira “kupulumutsa” anawo ku mavuto kapenanso zinthu zina zokhumudwitsa. Koma kuchita zimenezi kumabweretsa mavuto. Katswiri wina wolemba mabuku dzina lake Jessica Lahey analemba kuti: “Nthawi zonse tikamayesa kupulumutsa . . . ana athu kuti asathane ndi vuto linalake, timakhala ngati tikuwauza kuti ndi osadalirika, sangakwanitse kuchita zinthu komanso sitingawadalire.” a Ndiye kodi zotsatira zake zimakhala zotani? Anawo akadzakumana ndi mavuto adzangowasiya osathana nawo poganiza kuti pakufunika munthu wamkulu kuti awapulumutse ku mavutowo.

 Muziwalimbikitsa kuchita khama. Makolo angathandize ana awo kukhala opirira akamawapatsa ntchito zogwirizana ndi msinkhu wawo. Mwachitsanzo, ana azaka zitatu mpaka 5 angauzidwe kuti azilongedza zovala komanso zidole zawo. Ana okulirapo angathandize kulongedza zinthu zomwe makolo agula, kuika ndi kuchotsa mbale patebulo, kutaya zinyalala komanso kupukuta malo omwe patayikira zinthu. Pomwe ana azaka 13 mpaka 19 akhoza kupatsidwa ntchito zovutirapo monga kusamalira pakhomo komanso kukonza zinthu zowonongeka. Si nthawi zonse pamene ana angafune kugwira ntchito zimene apatsidwa, koma makolo awo akamawayembekezera kuti azigwira ntchitozo kuyambira ali aang’ono, zimathandiza kwambiri anawo. Kodi zimawathandiza bwanji? Amaphunzira kugwira ntchito molimbikira zomwe zimathandiza kuti akadzakula asamadzasiye kugwira ntchito zofunika kwambiri chifukwa choona kuti ndi zovuta.

 Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Kugwira ntchito iliyonse mwakhama kumapindulitsa, koma kungolankhula chabe kumasaukitsa.”—Miyambo 14:23.

 “Musamapatse ana ntchito ndi cholinga choti angokhala ndi zochita. Palibe amene amakonda zimenezi, ngakhalenso ana. Muziwapatsa ntchito zomwe zingasonyeze kuti nawonso akuthandiza. Ngati ali wamng’ono, mungamuuze kuti azipukuta fumbi pamalo amene angafikire. Ngati mukutsuka galimoto, muuzeni kuti azitsuka malo am’munsi amene inuyo simungafikire. Kenako musamachedwe kuyamikira mwana wanu chifukwa chogwira ntchito yakeyo mwakhama.”—Chris.

 Muzipereka malangizo omuthandiza kugwira ntchito yovuta. Nthawi zina ana amagwa ulesi chifukwa sadziwa zoyenera kuchita kuti amalize kugwira ntchito yawoyo. Choncho mukamaphunzitsa mwana wanu ntchito inayake, mwina mukhoza kuyesa kuchita zotsatirazi. Choyamba, gwirani ntchitoyo mwanayo akuonerera. Chachiwiri, gwirirani limodzi ntchitoyo. Kenako agwire ntchitoyo inuyo mukumuyang’anira ndi kumupatsa malangizo. Pomaliza, musiyeni kuti agwire ntchitoyo payekha.

 Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Ndakupatsani chitsanzo kuti mmene ine ndachitira kwa inu, inunso muzichita chimodzimodzi.”—Yohane 13:15.

 “Ineyo monga kholo, ndaona kuti ngati tikufuna kuti ana athu akhale opirira, ndi bwino kuti makolofe tiziwasonyeza chitsanzo chabwino pokhalanso opirira. Tiziyamba ndife kusonyeza khalidwe limene tikufuna kuti ana athu akhale nalo.”—Doug

 Thandizani mwana wanu kuzindikira kuti aliyense amalakwitsa kapenanso amalephera kuchita zinthu zina. Muzimufotokozera zokhudza zimene inuyo munavutika nazo koma mapeto ake zinayenda chifukwa simunagwe mphwayi n’kusiya. Muzifotokozera mwana wanu kuti sizachilendo kuvutika ndi zinthu zatsopano komanso kuti kulakwitsa zinthu zina kungamuthandize kuphunzira zambiri. Muzimutsimikizira kuti mumamukondabe ngakhale kuti amalephera kuchita zinthu zina. Mofanana ndi mbali zina za thupi zomwe zimakula tikamachita masewera olimbitsa thupi, mwana wanunso angaphunzire kupirira mukamamulola kuti azithana ndi mavuto. Choncho mwana wanu akakumana ndi mavuto, m’malo mothamangira kumuthandiza nthawi yomweyo, muzimupatsa nthawi yoti payekha ayesetse kuthana ndi vutolo. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Njira yabwino yothandizira mwana kukhala wolimba ndi kumusiya kuti aziyesera kuchita payekha zinthu zomwe zikuoneka zovuta kwambiri moti sangazikwanitse.”​—How Children Succeed.

 Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Ndi bwino kuti munthu akumane ndi mavuto ali wamngʼono.”​—Maliro 3:27.

 “Mukamalola ana anu kuti ayesere kuchita zinazake zooneka zovuta, kwinaku akudziwa kuti bambo ndi mayi awo awathandiza, anawo amapindula kwambiri. Pakapita nthawi, adzatha kuthana ndi vutolo ndipo adzakhala kuti awonjezera luso lawo limene limabwera chifukwa chopirira.”​—Jordan.

 Muziwayamikira chifukwa cha khama lawo, osati nzeru zawo. Mwachitsanzo, m’malo monena kuti, “Wakhoza bwino mayeso, ndiwe wanzeru,” mukhoza kunena kuti, “Wakhoza bwino mayeso, ndikusangalala kuti unalimbikira kuwerenga.” N’chifukwa chiyani zili zofunika kumamuyamikira chifukwa cha khama lake osati nzeru? Pulofesa wina dzina lake Dr. Carol Dweck, ananena kuti kuyamikira ana chifukwa cha nzeru zawo “kungachititse kuti azidzikayikira ngati zinthu zina zavuta kapena sizinayende bwino.” Iye ananenanso kuti “chinthu chabwino kwambiri chimene makolo angachitire ana awo, ndi kuwaphunzitsa kuti asamaope kuthana ndi mavuto, aziphunzira pa zimene alakwitsa, azisangalala kugwira ntchito mwakhama, azipeza njira zatsopano zochitira zinthu komanso azipitiriza kuphunzira zinthu. Akamachita zimenezi adzathandiza ana awo kuti asamangofuna kutamandidwa nthawi zonse.” b

 Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Munthu amayesedwa ndi zimene anthu akunena pomutamanda.”​—Miyambo 27:21.