1, 2. (a) Kodi anthu akangokwatilana kumene amayembekezela ciani? (b) Tidzakambilana mafunso ati m’mutu uno?

GANIZILANI mkwati na mkwatibwi, ali osangalala pa cikwati cawo. M’maganizo mwawo akuona tsogolo lowala, lokwanilitsa maloto awo. Akuyembekezela zaka zambili-mbili za cimwemwe ca m’banja.

² Komabe, maukwati ambili amene amayamba bwino conco, zinthu sizipitiliza conco. Kuti okwatilana akhale acimwemwe kwa zaka zambili, afunikila citsogozo ca Mulungu. Conco, tiyeni tikambilane yankho la m’Baibo pa mafunso aya: Kodi m’cikwati muli mapindu anji? Mukafuna kukwatila kapena kukwatiwa, mungasankhe bwanji womanga naye banja? Kodi mungakhale bwanji mwamuna wabwino kapena mkazi wabwino? Ndipo n’ciani cingathandize kuti banja likhalitse?—Ŵelengani Miyambo 3:5, 6.

3. Kodi muganiza munthu afunika kukwatila kapena kukwatiwa kuti akhale wacimwemwe? Fotokozani.

³ Anthu ena amakhulupilila kuti munthu akakwatila kapena kukwatiwa, m’pamene amakhala wacimwemwe. Koma izi si zoona. Yesu anakamba kuti umbeta  nawo ni mphatso. (Mateyu 19:11, 12) Ndipo mtumwi Paulo naye anati umbeta uli na maubwino ake. (1 Akorinto 7:32-38) Mufunika kusankha mwekha kuloŵa m’banja kapena ayi. Musalole anzanu, acibanja, kapena anthu ena kukuumilizani kuti mukwatile kapena kukwatiwa.

4. Kodi m’cikwati muli zabwino zotani?

⁴ Baibo imati cikwati naco ni mphatso yocokela kwa Mulungu, ndipo cili na maubwino ake. Yehova anati za mwamuna woyamba, Adamu: “Si bwino kuti munthu akhale yekha. Ndimupangila womuthandiza, monga mnzake womuyenelela.” (Genesis 2:18) Yehova analenga Hava kuti akhale mkazi wa Adamu, ndipo iwo anali banja loyamba la anthu. Anthu okwatilana ali na ana, cikwati cawo ciyenela kukhala malo abwino olelelamo ana. Koma kubeleka ana sindiko colinga cokha ca cikwati.—Salimo 127:3; Aefeso 6:1-4.

5, 6. Kodi cikwati cingakhale bwanji monga ‘cingwe copotewa na zingwe zitatu’?

⁵ Mfumu Solomo inalemba kuti: “Aŵili amaposa mmodzi, cifukwa amapeza mphoto yabwino pa nchito yawo imene amaigwila mwakhama. Ngati mmodzi wa iwo atagwa, winayo akhoza kum’dzutsa mnzakeyo. Koma kodi zingakhale bwanji munthu mmodzi atagwa popanda wina woti am’dzutse? . . . Cingwe copotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu sicingaduke msanga.”—Mlaliki 4:9-12.

⁶ A m’cikwati cabwino amakhala mabwenzi apamtima amene amathandizana, kutonthozana, na kutetezana. Cikondi cimalimbitsa cikwati, koma cimalimba kwambili ngati mwamuna na mkazi wake amalambila Yehova. M’pamene cikwati cawo cimakhala monga  “cingwe copotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu.” Cingwe, kapena kuti nthambo, ya mtundu umenewu imakhala yolimba kupambana yopotedwa na zingwe ziŵili. Cikwati cimalimba mukakhala Yehova.

7, 8. Kodi Paulo anapeleka malangizo anji pa za cikwati?

⁷ Anthu akakwatilana, amakondwela pokhutilitsana cilakolako ca kugonana. (Miyambo 5:18) Koma ngati colinga ca munthu pokwatila kapena kukwatiwa ni kukhutilitsa cabe cilakolako ca kugonana, sangasankhe mwanzelu wokwatilana naye. N’cifukwa cake Baibo imalimbikitsa kukwatila kapena kukwatiwa, pamene munthu “wapitilila pacimake pa unyamata,” pamene cilakolako ca kugonana cimakhala camphamvu kwambili. (1 Akorinto 7:36) Ni bwino kuyembekezela mpaka mphamvu za cilakolako zitakhazikika. Pamenepo munthu amatha kuganiza bwino, na kusankha mwanzelu munthu wokwatilana naye.—1 Akorinto 7:9; Yakobo 1:15.

⁸ Ngati muganiza zokwatila kapena kukwatiwa, mufunika kudziŵa kuti cikwati ciliconse cimakhalako na zovuta. Paulo anati awo amene akwatila “adzakhala ndi nsautso m’thupi.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Ngakhale m’cikwati mukhale cikondi cabwanji, mavuto adzakumana nawo ndithu. Conco, ngati mufuna kukwatila kapena kukwatiwa, sankhani mwanzelu wokwatilana naye.

9, 10. Cingacitike n’ciani ngati tikwatilana na munthu wosalambila Yehova?

⁹ Nayi mfundo ya m’Baibo yofunika kukumbukila posankha mwamuna kapena mkazi: “Musamangidwe m’goli ndi osakhulupilila.” (2 Akorinto 6:14) Citsanzo  ici cimatengela zimene zimacitika pa ulimi. Mlimi sangamange bulu (donkey) na nkhunzi (ng’ombe yaimuna) mu joko kuti zilime. Kungakhale kucitila nkhanza nyama zonse ziŵili, cifukwa zonse zidzavutika. Mofananamo, cikwati pakati pa munthu wolambila Yehova, na wina wosam’lambila, cingabweletse mavuto ambili. Conco, Baibo imatipatsa uphungu wanzelu wakuti tizikwatila kokha “mwa Ambuye.”—1 Akorinto 7:39.

¹⁰ Akhristu ena aona kuti cikhalako bwino kukwatilana na munthu wosalambila Yehova, m’malo mokhala wekha. Koma tikanyalanyaza uphungu wa m’Baibo, zotsatilapo zake zimakhala zoŵaŵa na cisoni. Kwa ise atumiki a Yehova, kutumikila Mulungu ndiye cinthu cacikulu mu umoyo wathu. Ndiye mungamve bwanji ngati mukwatilana na munthu amene sagwilizana namwe pa cinthu cofunika kwambili mu umoyo wanu? Ndiye cifukwa cake ambili asankha kungokhala mbeta m’malo mokwatilana na munthu amene sakonda Yehova, kapena kum’tumikila.—Ŵelengani Salimo 32:8.

11. Kodi mungasankhe bwanji munthu wokwatilana naye?

¹¹ Izi sizitanthauza kuti mungakwatilane na wina aliyense malinga atumikila Yehova. Ngati muganiza zokwatila kapena kukwatiwa, yesani kupeza munthu wa kumtima kwanu, amene mungamamvelane bwino. Yembekezani mpaka mukapeze munthu amene mudzagwilizana zocita mu umoyo wanu, komanso woika patsogolo kulambila Mulungu. Pezani nthawi yoŵelenga na kusinkha-sinkha pa malangizo okamba za cikwati, opezeka m’zofalitsa za kapolo wokhulupilika.—Ŵelengani Salimo 119:105.

12. Tiphunzilapo ciani pa maukwati amene anali kucitika m’nthawi za m’Baibo?

 ¹² M’zikhalidwe zina, makolo ndiwo amasankhila mwana wawo mwamuna kapena mkazi womanga naye banja. Amaona kuti makolo ndiwo amadziŵa bwino amene angayenelele mwana wawo. Kacitidwe kameneka kanalinso kofala m’nthawi za m’Baibo. Conco, ngati makolo anu afuna kuti mutsatile njila imeneyi, Baibo ingawathandize kudziŵa munthu woyenelela. Mwacitsanzo, Abulahamu posankhila mkazi mwana wake Isaki, sanayang’ane pa ndalama kapena kuchuka kwa munthu. Anam’funila mkazi wokonda Yehova.—Genesis 24:3, 67; onani Mfundo ya Kumapeto 25.

13-15. (a) Kodi mwamuna angakonzekele bwanji kuti akacite bwino m’cikwati? (b) Nanga mkazi akangonzekele bwanji kukakhala mkazi wabwino?

¹³ Ngati muganiza zokwatila olo kukwatiwa, mufunika kukhala wokonzeka. Mwina mungaganize kuti ndimwe wokonzekela. Koma tiyeni tikambilane kuti cimatanthauza ciani. Mwina mudzadabwa mukadziŵa.

¹⁴ Baibo imaonetsa kuti mwamuna na mkazi mbali zawo n’zosiyana m’banja. Conco, mwamuna na mkazi amakonzekela cikwati mosiyana. Ngati mwamuna aganiza zokwatila, afunika kudzifunsa ngati ni wokonzeka kukhala mutu wa banja. Yehova amafuna kuti mwamuna azisamalila mkazi wake na ana ake, na kuwakonda. Cofunika kwambili, mwamuna ayenela kutsogolela banja lake pa kulambila Mulungu. Baibo imakamba kuti mwamuna wosasamalila banja lake ni “woipa kuposa munthu wosakhulupilila.” (1 Timoteyo 5:8) Conco, ngati ndimwe mwamuna, ndipo muganiza zokwatila, ganizilani mmene mfundo ya m’Baibo iyi ingakuthandizileni: “Konzekela nchito yako yapanja, ndipo konza munda wako. Ukatelo ukamange banja lako.” M’mawu ena, musanakwatile, tsimikizani kuti mudzakwanitsa kucita zimene Yehova amafuna kwa mwamuna m’banja.—Miyambo 24:27.

¹⁵ Mkazi amene akuganizila zokwatiwa, afunika kudzifunsa ngati ali wokonzeka kusamalila maudindo a mkazi wokwatiwa, ndiponso mwina kholo. Baibo imachula njila zina zimene mkazi wabwino amasamalila mwamuna wake na ana ake. (Miyambo 31:10-31) Masiku ano, amuna na akazi ambili amangoyang’ana pa zimene iwo afunamo m’cikwati. Koma Yehova  amafuna kuti tiziganizila zimene ife tingacitile mnzathu wa m’cikwati.

16, 17. Ngati muli na colinga cokwatila kapena kukwatiwa, mufunika kuganizila za ciani?

¹⁶ Mukalibe kukwatila kapena kukwatiwa, ganizilani zimene Yehova amafuna kwa mwamuna na mkazi m’banja. Monga mutu wa banja, mwamuna sayenela kucitila nkhanza mkazi wake, mwina kum’menya kapena kumunyoza. Mwamuna woyendetsa bwino umutu wake, amatengela citsanzo ca Yesu, amene nthawi zonse amakonda mpingo wake na kuusamalila. (Aefeso 5:23) Mkazi naye afunika kukonzekela kuti azicilikiza zosankha za mwamuna wake, na kumumvelela. (Aroma 7:2) Afunika kudzifunsa ngati ni wokonzekela kugonjela kwa mwamuna wopanda ungwilo. Ngati aona kuti sangakwanitse, angacite bwino kukhalabe mbeta pakali pano.

¹⁷ Amuna komanso akazi afunika kuika patsogolo cimwemwe ca mnzawo m’malo mwa cawo. (Ŵelengani Afilipi 2:4.) Paulo analemba kuti: “Aliyense wa inu akonde mkazi wake ngati mmene amadzikondela yekha, komanso mkazi azilemekeza kwambili mwamuna wake.” (Aefeso 5:21-33) Onse aŵili, mwamuna na mkazi, afunika kuona kuti amakondedwa na kulemekezedwa. Koma kuti cikwati ciyende bwino, mwamuna amafuna kuona kuti mkazi wake amam’lemekeza kwambili. Nayenso wamkazi, amafuna kuona kuti mwamuna wake amam’konda kwambili.

18. N’cifukwa ciani mwamuna na mkazi afunika kusamala pamene akuyendelana?

¹⁸ Nthawi yoyendelana imathandiza kuti mwamuna na mkazi adziŵane bwino. Amafunika kukhalanso  oona mtima kwa wina na mnzake, kuti aliyense atsimikize ngati ni okonzekadi kukhala pamodzi kwa moyo wawo wonse. Panthawi yoyendelana imeneyi, aŵiliwo amaphunzila kukambilana bwino, ndipo amayesetsa kudziŵana maganizo. Pamene cibwenzi cawo cikukula, cikondi pakati pawo cimayamba kukhalanso camphamvu. Conco, afunika kusamala za mmene amaonetselana cikondi cawo akalibe kuloŵa m’cikwati, kuopela kuti angagwele m’chimo. Ngati ali na cikondi ceni-ceni, cidzawathandiza kudziletsa kuti asacite  ciliconse cimene cingawononge cibwenzi cawo, komanso ubale wawo na Yehova.—1 Atesalonika 4:6.

19, 20. Kodi Akhristu amaciona bwanji cikwati?

¹⁹ Anthu ambili amaganiza kuti akakwatila olo kukwatiwa, adzakhala na umoyo wacimwemwe ulibe mavuto alionse. Koma tsiku la cikwati ni ciyambi cabe. Yehova amafuna kuti anthu akakwatilana, azikwatilana ku nthawi zonse.—Genesis 2:24.

²⁰ Masiku ano, anthu ambili saonanso cikwati kukhala mgwilizano wa moyo wawo wonse. Amakwatilana mosavuta, na kulekananso mosavuta. Ena amaona kuti mavuto akayamba, ni nthawi yolekana na kutsiliza cikwati. Koma kumbukilani citsanzo ca m’Baibo ca nthambo yopotewa na nthambo zitatu. Nthambo imeneyo singajuŵike ngakhale akaidonsa mwamphamvu. Tikapempha thandizo kwa Yehova, cikwati cathu cikhoza kukhalitsa. Yesu anati: “Cimene Mulungu wacimanga pamodzi, munthu asacilekanitse.”—Mateyu 19:6.

21. N’ciani cingathandize mwamuna na mkazi wake kukondana?

²¹ Tonse tili na mbali zimene ticita bwino na zimene siticita bwino. N’capafupi kuyang’ana kwambili pa zofooka za ena, maka-maka za mnzathu wa m’cikwati. Ngati ticita zimenezi, cimwemwe sitidzacipeza. Koma ngati tiyang’ana pa zimene mnzathu acita bwino, tidzapeza cimwemwe m’cikwati cathu. Koma kodi n’zotheka kuyang’ana pa zabwino mwa mnzathu wa m’cikwati wopanda ungwilo? Inde! Yehova amadziŵa kuti ndise opanda ungwilo, koma amayang’anabe pa mbali  zimene ticita bwino. Bwanji ngati anali kuyang’ana pa zolephela zathu! Wamasalimo anati: “Inu Ya, mukanakhala kuti mumayang’anitsitsa zolakwa, ndani akanaima pamaso panu, inu Yehova?” (Salimo 130:3) Amuna na akazi awo angatengele citsanzo ca Yehova poyang’ana mbali zabwino mwa mnzawo, na kukhululukilana mwamsanga.—Ŵelengani Akolose 3:13.

22, 23. Kodi Abulahamu na Sara anapeleka citsanzo cabwino cotani kwa okwatilana?

 ²² M’kupita kwa zaka, cikwati cimakhala colimba. Abulahamu na Sara anakhala acimwemwe m’cikwati cawo kwa zaka zambili. Pamene Yehova anauza Abulahamu kusiya nyumba yake mu mzinda wa Uri, Sara ayenela kuti anali na zaka zopitilila 60. Sicinali capafupi kwa iye kusiya nyumba yawo yabwino na kukakhala m’matenti. Koma Sara anali bwenzi labwino kwa mwamuna wake, ndipo anali kum’lemekezadi. Conco, iye anacilikiza zigamulo za Abulahamu na kuthandizila kuti zigwile nchito.—Genesis 18:12; 1 Petulo 3:6.

²³ Koma kukhala na cikwati cabwino sikutanthauza kuti mwamuna na mkazi wake sangasiyane maganizo. Pamene Abulahamu sanagwilizane na Sara, Yehova anamuuza kuti: “Mvela mawu ake.” Abulahamu anamumvelela, ndipo zotulukapo zake zinali zabwino. (Genesis 21:9-13) Ngati mwasiyana maganizo na mnzanu wa m’cikwati, osataya mtima. Cofunika n’cakuti, ngakhale musiyane maganizo, mufunika kucitilanabe mwacikondi, komanso mwaulemu.

24. Cofunika n’ciani kuti ukwati wanu ukalemekeze Yehova?

²⁴ Mu mpingo wacikhristu, muli Akhristu ambili-mbili ali pa mabanja acimwemwe. Ngati mudzafuna kukwatila kapena kukwatiwa, kumbukilani kuti mudzafunikila kupanga cosankha cacikulu kwambili mu umoyo wanu. Cidzakhudza umoyo wanu wonse. Ndiye cifukwa cake pocipanga, mudzafunikila citsogozo ca Yehova. Mukatelo, mudzasankha mwanzelu munthu womanga naye banja, na kukonzekela bwino cikwati canu. Mudzakhaladi na cikwati cimene cidzalemekeza Yehova.