“15 saal di umar vich mai apne maapya de niyama naal bilkul sehmat si, par hun mai 19 saala di ha te mainu laggda hai ki mainu hor azaadi ditti jani chaheedi hai.”—silvia.

 kee tusi vi silvia vang mehsoos karde ho? je ha, taa eh lekh is mamle bare apne maapya naal gall karan vich tuhadi madad karega.

•  tuhanu kee pata hona chaheeda?

•  tusi kee kar sakde ho?

•  tuhade hani kee kehnde han?

 apne maapya naal ohna vallo banaye niyama bare gall karan to pehla hetha likhiya galla te gaur karo:

•  niyama to bagair zindagi vich uthal-puthal hovegi. zara ik sarrak bare socho jis te bahut gaddiya aaundiya-jandiya han. je uthe na koi traffic saeen hove, na traffic lightaa hona te na hi speed limit hove, taa kee hovega? traffic niyama di tarha ghar de niyama naal vi shanti bani rehndi hai.

•  niyama to pata laggda hai ki tuhade maape tuhadi parvah karde han. je oh koi niyam na banaun, taa is da matlab ho sakda hai ki ohna nu tuhadi koi parvah nahi hai. is tarha de maapya bare tusi kee sochoge?

 kee tuhanu pata hai? maapya layi vi niyam banaye gaye han! je tuhanu is gall te shakk hai, taa utpat 2:24; bivastha saar 6:6, 7; afsiya 6:4; atey 1 timothius 5:8 parho.

 par odo kee je tuhanu aje vi maapya vallo banaye niyam sahi nahi laggde?

 niyama bare gall karan to pehla socho. jado maapya vallo banaye niyama di paalna karan di gall aaundi hai, taa kee tusi aksar ohna di paalna karde ho? je tusi aksar ohna di ulanghna karde ho, taa fir shayad hor azaadi mangan da eh sama vadiya nahi hai. is di bajaye, apne maapya da bharosa jittan layi ohna vallo banaye niyama di paalna karan di koshish karo.

 je tusi aksar niyama di paalna karde ho, taa socho ki tusi apne maapya naal kee gall karoge. pehla hi apne vichara nu likh lain naal tuhadi eh jaanan vich madad hovegi ki tusi jo mangna chahunde ho, oh jaaiz vi hai ki nahi. fir, apne maapya nu sama te jagah tai karan layi kaho jithe tusi aaram naal baith ke gall kar sakde ho. fir, apne maapya naal gall kardya hetha likhiya galla yaad rakho:

 aadar dikhao. “kathor bol krodh nu bharrkaunda hai.” (kahauta 15:1) so apne aap nu yaad karao: je tusi apne maapya naal behes karde ho ja ohna te dosh laaunde ho ki ohna vallo banaye niyam sahi han, taa tuhadi gallbaat jaldi khatam ho javegi.

 “jinna ziada mai apne maapya nu aadar dikhaundi ha, unna ziada oh mainu aadar dikhaunde han. ik-dooje da aadar karan karke sadde layi kise gall te sehmat hona ziada saukha hunda hai.”—bianca, 19.

 suno. bible dassdi hai ki sanu ‘sunan layi tyaar rehna, bolan vich kahli nahi karni’ chaheedi. (yakoob 1:19) yaad rakho ki tusi apne maapya naal gallbaat kar rahe ho, na ki ohna nu bhashan de rahe ho.

 “vadde hundya shayad sanu lagge ki asi apne maapya nalo ziada jaande ha, par eh sach nahi hai. sanu ohna di salah te taarrna nu sunn-na chaheeda hai.”—devan, 20.

 humdardi dikhao. harek mamle nu apne maapya de nazriye to dekhan di koshish karo. bible di eh salah laagu karo ki “apne bare hi na socho, sago doosrya de bhale bare vi socho.” (filippiya 2:4) is mamle vich apne maapya bare socho.

 “mai apne maapya nu apne naal kamm karan vale samjhan di bajaye apne virodhi samajhda si. par hun mainu ehsas hoya ki oh change maape ban-na sikh rahe san jidda mai ik zimmevar viakti ban-na sikh reha si. ohna ne jo keeta, oh pyaar karke keeta.—joshuaa, 21.

 hall dasso. mann lo ki tuhade maapya ne ik niyam banaya hai: oh nahi chahunde ki tusi raat vich hon vali party te jao. pata karo ki oh idda kyo chahunde han, kee same karke ja party karke?

•   je same karke hai, taa kee oh apne faisle te dobara gaur karange je tusi kise nu apne naal lai ke jaan da sujhaa dinde ho.

•   je party karke hai, taa kee tusi ohna nu bharosa diva sakde ho ki uthe kaun-kaun aavega atey kaun is party di nigrani karega?

 aadar naal gall karo atey dhyaan naal apne maapya di gall suno. apne shabda te pesh aaun de tareeke to dikhao ki tusi “apne mata-pita da aadar” karde ho. (afsiya 6:2, 3) kee oh apni rai badal lainge? shayad. shayad nahi. chahe oh apni rai badlan ja na, par . . .

 tusi aadar naal ohna da faisla saveekar karo. eh ik ehem kadam hai, par aksar is nu nazarandaz keeta janda hai. je tuhanu oh nahi milda jo tusi chahunde ho atey apne maapya naal behes karni shuru kar dinde ho, taa tusi agli vaar layi gallbaat karni hor ziada mushkal banaa loge. dooje pase, je tusi khushi-khushi kehna mann lainde ho, taa ohna layi tuhanu hor azaadi deni ziada saukhi hovegi.