mera janam uttri mexico de sheher sioodad aubregon vich hoya si atey mai nau bachya vicho panjve number ’te si. asi sheher to bahar rehnde si jithe mere pita ji da chhota jeha farm si. eh bahut sohni jagah si jithe sadda parivar mil ke rehnda si atey khush si. dukh di gall hai ki jado mai hale panja saala da si, taa toofan de kaaran sadda farm tehes-nehes ho gaya atey sanu kise hor kasbe vich jana pya.

 mere pita ji change-khase paise kamaun lagg paye. par oh haddo vadh sharaab vi peen lagg paye. is da asar ohna de viahuta-bandhan de naal-naal sadde utte vi pya. mai atey mere do vadde bhra pita ji diya cigaretta chori kar ke peen lagg paye. mai jado hale chhe saala da si, taa mai pehli vaar sharaab pee ke talli ho gaya. is to jaldi baad mere mata-pita ik-dooje to alag ho gaye atey meriya aadata hor vigarr gaiya.

 meri mummy kise hor aadmi naal rehen chali gayi te sanu vi naal hi lai gayi. oh aadmi mummy nu paise nahi dinda si atey sirf mummy di kamayi naal guzara karna aukha si. is layi mai te mere bhen-bhra kamm ’te lagg gaye, fir vi saddiya lorra pooriya nahi hundiya san. mai boot polish karda si atey bread, akhbara, bubble guma atey hor cheeza vechda si. nale mai ameer lokaa de koorredana vicho khana labhan layi sheher vich ghumda rehnda si.

 jado mai 10 saala da si, taa ik aadmi ne mainu os jagah apne naal kamm karan layi bulaya jithe sheher da koorra suttya janda si. mai mann gaya atey school di parhayi chhadd ke gharo chala gaya. oh har roz mainu ik dalar to vi ghatt paise dinda si atey koorre vicho ikattha keeta hoya khana dinda si. mai ik jhaumprri vich rehnda si jo mai koorre vicho miliya cheeza naal banayi si. mai jinha lokaa vich rehnda si, oh gali-galoch karde san te anaitik kamm karde san. kayi nashe lainde san te sharaaba peende san. eh meri zindagi da sabh to bhairra sama si. mai sari-sari raat ronda rehnda si te dar de maare thar-thar kambda si. apni gareebi atey ghatt parhya-likhya hon karke mai sharminda mehsoos karda si. mai koorre-karkat vich tinn saal reha te fir mexico de dooje soobe vich chala gaya. uthe mai kheta vich kamm keeta si. mai full te kapah chugda si, ganne ikatthe karda si te aalu puttda si.

 chaar saala baad mai sioodad aubregon nu vapas chala gaya. meri ik jharra-fooki karan vali bhuaa ne apne ghar mainu ik kamra rehen layi de ditta. mainu daraune supne aaun lagg paye te mai inna nirash ho gaya ki mai aatam-hattya karan bare sochan lagga. ik vaar raat nu mai rab agge prarthna keeti: “he prabhu, je tu hai, taa mai tere bare jaan-na chahunda ha te mai hamesha teri seva karanga. je koi sacha dharam hai, taa mai is bare jaan-na chahunda ha.”

 mai hamesha rab bare jaanan di ichha rakhda si. bachpan vich mai kayi vakho-vakhre churcha vich gaya, par mere hath nirasha hi laggi. ohna vicho kise ne vi bible bare ziada gall nahi keeti ja rab bare jaanan vich meri madad nahi keeti. kujh church taa bas paisa-paisa hi karde san atey hor churcha de padri anaitik kamma vich lagge hoye san.

 jado mai 19 saala da si, taa mere ik jeeje ne mainu dassya ki yahovah de gavaha ne os nu dassya si ki bible dharmik moortiya bare kee kehndi hai. os ne mainu kooch 20:4, 5 parh ke sunaya. is vich dassya hai ki sanu moortiya nahi banauniya chaheediya. aayat 5 kehndi hai: “na tu ohna de agge matha tek, na ohna di pooja kar kyo jo mai yahovah tera parmeshwar anakh vala parmeshwar ha.” fir mere jeeje ne mainu puchhya: “je rab chamatkar karan layi moortiya nu vartda hai ja je oh chahunda hai ki asi bhagti karan layi moortiya vartiye, taa fir oh moortiya banaun to manha kyo karega?” is savaal ne mainu sochan te majboor kar ditta. is to baad asi kayi vaar bible de vishya utte gallbaat keeti. eh galla kar ke inna maza aaunda si ki pata hi nahi chalda si ki sama kithe chala gaya.

 baad vich oh mainu yahovah de gavaha di ik sabha vich lai ke gaya. uthe mai jo kujh dekhya atey sunya, os da mere utte gehra asar hoya. bache vi program vich hissa lai rahe san te stage to vadiya tareeke naal bol rahe san! mai sochya, ‘ithe lokaa nu kinni vadiya sikhya mildi hai!’ bhave mere vaal lambe san atey shakal-soorat suaari hoi nahi si, fir vi gavaha ne mera pyaar naal suaagat keeta. ik parivar ne taa mainu sabha to baad khane ’te vi bulaya!

 gavaha naal bible di study kar ke mai sikhya ki yahovah parmeshwar pyaar karan vala parmeshwar hai jo saddi parvah karda hai, bhave sadde kol paise hon ja na hon, bhave asi kise vi jaat de hoyiye, ghatt parhe-likhe hoyiye ja ziada. oh kise naal pakhpaat nahi karda. (rasoola de kamm 10:34, 35) akheer rab bare jaanan di meri ichha poori ho hi gayi. hun meri zindagi khokhli nahi rehi.

 meri zindagi sudharni shuru ho gayi! mai cigarette, haddo vadh sharaab peeni atey gali-galoch karna chhadd ditta. bachpan to mere andar jo gussa si, oh hauli-hauli ghattda gaya atey daraune supne vi aaune band ho gaye. nale mai apni nirasha ’te kaabu pa lya jo bachpan vich hoye bhairre tajarbya atey ghatt parhayi-likhayi karke hundi si.

 meri patni bahut changi hai. oh yahovah nu pyaar kardi hai atey mera bahut saath dindi hai. mai hun yahovah de gavaha de safri nigahbaan vajo seva karda ha. mai mandliya vich apne sangi bhena-bhrava nu utshah den atey ohna nu sikhaun janda ha. zakhma ’te malam laun vargiya bible diya galla atey parmeshwar to mildi vadiya sikhya karke hun mai sharminda mehsoos nahi karda.