• “Nimbadzibva ninge mwamuna wangu wachita chigololo maulendo yazinji maninge.”

• “Nimbadzibva wonyozeka, woipa komasoti nilibe na basa.”

• “Nilibe kuuzako aliyese va bvuto mweyi koma nimbandodandaulira cha mu ntima.”

• “Nimbabva ninge Yahova anigaziralini.”

Nkhani mweyi inkuonesa mwomwe nkazi achabonerera mwamuna wake ankambanyang’anira volaula. Ndipo peno iye ankuchita vimwevi mwachintsintsi kwa minyezi panango kwa magole angaganizire kuti angamukhulupirirelini pomwe. Viri ninge nkazi munango yemwe adalewa kuti: “Inepano nimbadzibvunza kuti, ‘ko mwamuna moyu khaindi wanyi yemwe adalowolana na ine? Ko iye ankunibisira vinthu vinango?’”

Nkhani mweyi yakonzewa poganizira akazi omwe amuna wawo anyang’anira volaula. a Koma tione nkhani zinango za m’Baibolo zomwe zingathandize akazi mwawa ndipo nkhani zimwezi zionesepomwe kuti akazi mwawa ni wodekana maninge kwa Yahova. Zithandizepomwe kuti akazi akhale na ntendere wa muntima komasoti kutsimikizira kuti ali pafupi maninge na Yahova. b

Ni shuwadi kuti imwepo mungakwaniselini kudziwa vose vomwe mwamuna wanu achachita, koma pali vinthu vinango vomwe imwepo mungachite kuti mumbakhale mwantendere. Onani vitsanzo vinango.

Ayi kumbadziyimba mulandu. Akazi anango aganiza kuti peno mwamuna wangu ankunyang’anira volaula ndiye kuti bvuto ni yangu. Alice c ambaona kuti mwamuna wake ankukhutiralini naye. Iye nthawe zose ambadzibvunza kuti: ‘Ndawa chani mwamuna wangu akonda kunyang’ana akazi anango malo monyang’ana inepano?’ Akazi anango aganiza kuti vinthu vinkuipirayipira ndawa ya momwe iwo achachitira vinthu. Mwakulinganiza, nkazi munango dzina yake Danielle adalewa kuti: “Inepano nimbakhala wokalipa maninge komasoti nimbakhala na chiya nthawe zose ndipo nimbaganiza kuti inepano ndiye ninkuchitisa kuti bvuto mweyi iyipireyipire.”

Peno imwepo muchabva tene, dziwani kuti Yahova ankuganizalini kuti ndimwe munkuchitisa mwamuna wanu kukhala na bvuto mweyi. Lemba ya Yakobo 1:14 ilewa kuti: ‘Koma aliyese ayesewa na kukopewa na kukolewa na chilakolako chake.’ (Aro. 14:12; Afil.  2:12) M’malo mwakuti akuyimbeni mulandu imwepo, Yahova alemekeza maninge kukhulupirika komwe muchawonesa kwa iye.—2 Mbiri 16:9.

Komasoti muchadekana kudziwa kuti peno mwamuna wanu anyang’anira volaula vinkutanthauzalini kuti imwepo ndimwe wosakhuza. Masientista polewa va nkhani mweyi adati: Volaula vichitisa munthu kukhala na vilakolako vomwe nkazi aliyese angakwaniselini kuvikhutirisa.

Lekani kumbandokhala na nkhawa maninge. Catherine adalewa kuti nimbandoganizira kuti mwamuna wangu ankunyang’anira volaula. Frances adalewa pomwe kuti: “Inepano nimbandokhala na nkhawa nikaleka kudziwa komwe mwamuna wangu ali. Ndipo nimbakhala wokalipa ntsiku zose.” Akazi anango alewa kuti, ukhala na manyazi peno uli pakati pa abale na alongo omwe ankudziwa va bvuto ya mwamuna wako. Anango adalewa kuti, ambadzibva ninge ali okhaokha ndipo palibe yemwe angabvesese va bvuto yako.

Ni mwachibadwa kubva teneuyu. Koma kumbandokhalira kuganizira za bvuto mweyi vingachitise kuti imwepo nthawe zonse mumbashupike na nkhawa. M’malo mochita vimwevi mbayesesani kumbaganizira va ushamwali wanu na Yahova. Mukachita vimwevi nkuyenda kwa nthawe imwepo mudzakwanise kukhala olimba m’maganizo.—Sal. 62:2; Aef. 6:10.

Nkhani zomwe zingakuthandizeni imwepo ni kulewenga na kuganizira nkhani za m’Baibolo za akazi anango omwe wenze na nkhawa maninge. Koma ndawa yopemphera kwa Yahova adalimbikisiwa. Yahova ni nthawe lini zose pomwe adamalisa mabvuto yawo, koma adawapasa ntendere womwe iwo ambadekana. Mwakulinganiza, Hana wenze ‘wokhumudwa maninge’ na bvuto yake, podiya venze tene, iye ‘adapemphera nthawe itali maninge kwa Yahova’ adakhala na ntendere podiya ambadziwalini kuti bvuto yake imale tani.—1 Sam. 1:10, 12, 18; 2 Akor. 1:3, 4.

Kumbiranipomwe thandizo kwa akulu mu Mpingu. Iwo angakhale ‘mbuto yobishalirapo chimphepo komasoti ninge malo yousirapo mvula.’ (Yes. 32:2) Panango akulu angakuuzeni va mulongo munango yemwe imwepo mungamasuke naye na kumuuza va bvuto yanu ndipo mungakhale na ntendere.—Miy. 17:17.

Ko pali chinthu chinango chomwe mungachite kuti muthandize mwamuna wanu kumalisa chizolowezi chonyang’anira volaula? Inde. Baibolo ilewa kuti, njira yabwino yomalisira bvuto ikulu panango kugonjesa nʼzondi wamphanvu, vingakhale vabwino kukhala ‘awiri kusiyana na mbodzi.’ (Mla. 4:9-12) Kafukufuku uwonesa kuti peno mwamuna na nkazi ayesesa  kuphatira basa pabodzi angakwanise kumalisa bvuto yonyang’anira volaula nkulimbisa banja yawo.

Ni shuwadi, vimwevi vingadalire mwamuna wanu peno ankufuna kusiya kunyang’anira volaula. Ko iye achapemphera kuchokera pasi pa ntima kwa Yahova kukumbira thandizo na kufaga thandizo ya akulu? (2 Akor. 4:7; Yak. 5:14, 15) Peno mwamuna wanu ankuyesesa kuchita vinthu vakuti asiye kunyanganira volaula. Ko iye ankuyesesa kudziyikhira malire momwe angaphatisire basa interneti, panango chilichose chomwe chingamuchitise kukhala na maganizo yoipa? (Miy. 27:12) Ko iye ni wokonzeka kuphatisira basa thandizo yomwe mungamupase na kukhala woona ntima kwa imwepo? Peno iye ankuchita vimwevi, imwepo mungakwanise kumuthandiza.

Ko mungamuthandize tani? Onani chitsanzo cha Felicia yemwe adalowolana na Ethan, yemwe wenze adazolowera kunyang’anira volaula kuchokera ali mwana. Felicia ambamusiya Ethan kuti akhale womasuka kufotokoza maganizo yake pa nthawe iliyose pomwe maganizo yonyang’anira volaula yamubwerera. Ethan adati: “Inepano nikhala womasuka na nkazi wangu. Mwachikondi iye adanithandiza kulimbana na bvuto mweyi ndipo ambanibvunza kuti ko vinthu vinkufamba tani? Adanithandiza kuti nidziyikhire malire momwe ningaphatisire basa interneti.” Ni shuwadi kuti ni voshupa maninge kwa Felicia kuona mwamuna wake Ethan ankulimba na bvuto mweyi yonyang’anira volaula. “Koma,” iye adati: “Kukhala waukali na wokhumudwa kungathandizelini mwamuna wangu kuti amalise chizolowezi mwechi. Nthawe zose pomwe timbakambirana va bvuto yake mweyi iye ambanithandiza kuti nileke kukhala wokhumudwa.”

Kukhala na macheza mwaya kungathandize maninge mwamuna kupewa chizolowezi chonyang’anira volaula na kuthandizapomwe nkazi wake kuti ayambepomwe kumukhulupirira. Ni shuwadi, mwamuna akakhala womasuka kukambiarana na nkazi wake va vofoka vake na kumuuza nkazi kuti ankuyenda kuponi ndipo ankukachita chani vingathandize kuti nkazi wake ambamukhulupirire. Adziwa kuti mwamuna wake ankumubisiralini chinthu.

Ko imwepo munkuganiza kuti mungamuthandize mwamuna wanu mwa njira mweyi? Manje vingakhale bwino maninge kupfunzilira pabodzi nkhani mweyi, na kukambiranapomwe va volinga vake vakufuna kuyesesa kusiya kunyang’anira volaula. Iye adzakupaseni vifukwa vakuti muyambepomwe kumukhulupirira, m’malo mwakuti iye akhumudwe ndawa yakuti imwepo munkuyesesa kufuna kumuthandiza kumalisa bvuto yake, iye adzayesese kubvesa momwe bvuto mweyi inkukukhudzirani imwepo. Koma cholinga chanu chichadekana kukhala kumuthandiza mwamuna wanu kusiya chizolowezi mwechi na kumupasapomwe nthawe kuti abwezerese mbverano womwe wenzepo poyamba. Ni vabwinopomwe mose awiri kubvesesa kuti chani chichachitisa munthu kuyamba kunyang’anira volaula na momwe bvuto mweyi mungayimalisire. d

 Ko imwepo munkuganiza kuti macheza yomwe mungakhale nayo na mwamuna wanu pa nkhani mweyi yangamale munkugegezana, peno viri teno imwepo mungachemere nkulu yemwe mubverana naye maninge kuti mudzakhale naye pa macheza yanu. Ndipo ganizirani kuti podiya kuti papita nthawe mwamuna wanu wasiya kunyang’anira volaula, vingatenge nthawe kuti imwepo muyambepomwe kumukhulupirira. Koma ayi kufoka. Ndawa yakuti banja yanu yayamba pomwe kubverana. Ayi kuluza chidikhiro chakuti kuyenda kwa nthawe na kukhala oleza ntima banja yanu ingakhalepomwe yolimba maninge.—Mla. 7:8; 1 Akor. 13:4.

Peno mwamuna wanu wanyang’anira pomwe volaula, ko vinkutanthauza kuti mwamuna wanu alibe kulapa ndipo angachinjelini? Neye ntenolini. Makamaka peno mwamuna wanu watenga nthawe itali ankunyang’anira volaula vingakhale voshupa kuti asiye ndipo angalimbane na bvuto yake mweyi kwa moyo wake wose. Podiya kuti watenga magole yazinji osanyang’anira volaula iye nthawe zinango anganyang’anirepomwe. Kuti vimwevi vileke kuchitika iye achadekana kudziyikhira malamulo kuti adziteteze, angachite vimwevi podiya ankuona kuti bvuto mweyi yamala. (Miy. 28:14; Mat. 5:29; 1 Akor. 10:12) Achadekana ‘kuchinja momwe achaganizira’ na ‘kuzonda vinthu voipa.’ Vomwe vinkuphatanidza kunyang’anira volaula komasoti kusenzekesa viwalo vathu. (Aef. 4:23; Sal. 97:10; Aro. 12:9) Ko iye ni wokonzeka kulimbana na bvuto mweyi? Peno iye ankuchita vimwevi ni vokwanisika kuti kuyenda kwa nthawe bvuto mweyi imaliretu. e

Manje tani peno mwamuna wanu ankufunalini kusiya kunyang’anira volaula? Ni shuwadi, imwepo mudzadzibve wamanyazi, wokhumudwa komasoti wosafunika. Peno viri tene siyani nkhani mweyi m’manja mwa Yahova ndipo imwepo mudzakhale na ntendere. (1 Pet. 5:7) Pitirizani kumufenderera Yahova pa kupfunzira, kupemphera na kuganizira vomwe mulewenga m’mawu ya Mulungu. Ndipo khalani wotsimikizira kuti Yahova adzakufenderereni ninge momwe ilewera lemba ya Yesaya 57:15 kuti iye akhala na wanthu ‘woshupika maganizo na wantima wodzichepesa.’ Yahova ankufuna kuti imwepo muyambepomwe kukhala wokondwa. Pitirizani kutumikira Yahova mu njira yabwino maninge. Fagani thandizo kwa akulu. Ndipo pitirizani kukhala na chidikhiro kuti ntsiku inango mwamuna wanu adzachinje.—Aro. 2:4; 2 Pet. 3:9.