“MI FEELIM bigfala hevi taem mi holem bak feeling bilong mi,” Mike hem sei, taem hem tingim dae bilong dadi bilong hem. Long tingting bilong Mike, from hem wanfala man, fitim hem for holem bak feeling bilong hem. Bihaen hem luksavve hao datwan no stret. So taem grandadi bilong fren bilong Mike hem dae, Mike savve wanem hem mas duim. Hem sei: “Long bifor, maet mi holem shoulder bilong hem and sei, ‘Showimaot iu wanfala man.’ Bat distaem mi tasim hand bilong hem and mi sei, ‘Showimaot feeling bilong iu. Hem bae helpem iu for deal witim diswan. Sapos iu laekem mi for go, mi bae go. Sapos iu laekem mi for stap, mi bae stap. Bat no fraet for showimaot feeling bilong iu.’”

MaryAnne tu feelim bigfala hevi for holem bak feeling bilong hem taem hasband bilong hem dae. “Mi wari tumas for showimaot gudfala example long nara pipol,” hem sei, “and diswan stopem mi for showimaot tru feeling bilong mi. Bat gogo mi lukim hao wei wea mi trae for saportim nara pipol hem no helpem mi. Mi start for lukluk gud long living bilong mi and sei, ‘Krae sapos iu need for krae. No trae for showimaot iu strong. Talemaot feeling bilong iu.’”

So Mike and MaryAnne sei olsem: Letem iuseleva feel sorre! And olketa talem tru samting. Why nao olsem? From wei for feel sorre hem helpem iu for aotem samfala feeling. Wei for aotem feeling bilong iu savve aotem hevi wea iu karem. Wei wea iu showimaot feeling, wea join witim savve and stretfala information, helpem iu for showimaot feeling bilong iu long gudfala wei.

Hem tru, no evriwan showimaot sorre bilong olketa long sem wei. And sapos datwan wea iumi lovem hem dae kwiktaem or hem sik for longtaem then hem dae, maet olketa samting olsem savve affectim wei wea olketa wea laef showimaot feeling. Bat wanfala samting hem klia: Wei for holem bak feeling savve spoelem iu long physical wei and saed long feeling tu. Hem moabeta for iu aotem sorre bilong iu. Long wanem wei? Bible garem planti gudfala kaonsel long diswan.

Wei for toktok savve help for aotem diswan. Bihaen tenfala pikinini bilong hem dae, and tu olketa bigfala trabol wea kasem hem, Job sei: “Soul bilong mi hem barava heitim disfala laef bilong mi. Mi bae talemaot [Hebrew, “aotem”]  olketa wari bilong mi abaotem miseleva. Mi bae toktok from soul bilong mi hem feel nogud tumas!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job kanduit holem bak wari bilong hem. Hem need for aotem; hem mas “toktok.” Shakespeare raet olsem long disfala drama Macbeth: “Talemaot toktok wea sorre; wei for no talemaot sorre savve skwisim heart and savve brekem.”

So wei for tok abaotem feeling bilong iu witim “wanfala trufala fren” wea bae lisin witim patient fasin and showaot hem kea, savve barava helpem iu. (Proverbs 17:17) For talemaot olketa feeling bilong iu savve helpem iu for luksavve and deal witim olketa. And sapos datwan wea lisin hem man wea sorre tu from samwan hem dae, and deal witim diswan long gudfala wei, maet iu savve kasem samfala gud idea from hem long hao iu savve deal witim sorre bilong iu. Taem pikinini bilong hem dae, wanfala mami talem hao wei for tok witim nara woman wea kasem sem samting hem help: “For savve hao nara woman bin kasem sem problem, bat hem winim, and hem laef yet and go ahed moa long living bilong hem, diswan barava strongim mi.”

Waswe sapos hem hard for iu tok abaotem feeling bilong iu? Bihaen long taem wea Saul and Jonathan dae, David hem raetem wanfala song bilong sorre wea talemaot sorre bilong hem. Bihaen, disfala sorre singsing kamap part long Bible buk bilong Tu Samuel. (2 Samuel 1:17-27; 2 Chronicles 35:25) Long sem wei, samfala faendem isi for raetem daon olketa feeling bilong olketa. Wanfala widow woman sei hem savve raetem olketa feeling bilong hem and samfala day bihaen hem savve readim moa samting wea hem raetem. Hem faendem diswan helpem hem.

Nomata sapos iu tok abaotem or iu raetem, wei for talemaot feeling bilong iu savve helpem iu aotem sorre bilong iu. Hem savve help tu for stretem samting wea iu no minim gud. Wanfala mami wea pikinini bilong hem dae sei olsem: “Mi and hasband bilong mi herem samting abaot olketa marit pipol wea divorce bihaen wanfala pikinini hem dae, and mifala no wantem datwan for happen long mifala. So enitaem mifala feel kros, and want for blamem each other, mifala bae story gud abaotem diswan. Mi ting mitufala kam moa klos long each other taem mifala duim olsem.” So, wei wea iu talemaot feeling bilong iu savve helpem iu for luksavve hao, nomata maet iufala sorre from samwan hem dae, samfala savve showimaot sorre bilong olketa long difren wei—wea fitim fasin and wei bilong olketa.

Nara samting wea savve help for aotem sorre hem for krae. Bible sei “taem for krae” hem stap. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) So taem samwan wea iumi lovem hem dae, hem wanfala taem olsem. Wei for krae hem wanfala wei for helpem iu kamap gud moa.

Wanfala young girl talem hao wanfala gudfala fren helpem hem for deal witim diswan taem mami bilong hem dae. Hem sei: “Fren bilong mi  hem redy evritaem for helpem mi. Hem krae witim mi. Hem tok witim mi. Mi savve showimaot olketa feeling bilong mi, and datwan hem important samting for mi. Mi no need for feel shame taem mi krae.” (Lukim Romans 12:15.) And iu mas no feel shame for krae tu. Olsem iumi lukim finis, Bible fulap witim example bilong olketa man and woman wea garem faith—and Jesus Christ tu—wea krae front long nara pipol and olketa no shame long diswan.—Genesis 50:3; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12; John 11:33, 35.

Maet iu lukim hao feeling bilong iu bae olabaot lelebet. Seknomoa olketa wata long eye maet start for foldaon. Wanfala widow woman lukim hao evritaem hem go long supermaket (samting wea hem savve duim witim hasband bilong hem) hem savve krae, and hem moa tru taem hem laek for baem olketa kaikai wea hasband bilong hem savve laekem. Patient long iuseleva. And no feel olsem iu mas no krae. Remember, hem nao wei for showimaot sorre.

Olsem iumi lukim finis, samfala feel guilty taem samwan wea olketa lovem hem dae. Maet diswan helpem iumi for minim bigfala sorre wea faithful man Jacob garem taem hem tingse “wanfala wild animal” killim dae son bilong hem Joseph. Jacob seleva nao sendem Joseph go for lukim olketa brata bilong hem. So luk olsem Jacob hem barava feel guilty, olsem ‘Why nao mi sendem Joseph go seleva? Why nao mi sendem hem go long area wea fulap witim olketa wild animal?’—Genesis 37:33-35.

Maet iu feel olsem datwan wea iu lovem hem dae from iu fail for duim samfala samting. For luksavve hao wei for feel guilty—maet hem tru or nomoa—hem wanfala wei for sorre, savve help tu. And no tingse iu mas keepim olketa feeling olsem long iuseleva. For tok abaotem wei wea iu feel guilty savve helpem iu for aotem disfala feeling.

Bat, luksavve hao, nomata iumi lovem tumas datfala man, iumi kanduit bossim laef bilong hem, and iumi no savve stopem “taem and samting wea iumi no expectim” for kasem olketa wea iumi lovem. (Ecclesiastes 9:11) And tu, iumi no garem eni nogud tingting. Olsem example,  from iu no kwiktaem for mekem appointment for lukim doctor, waswe, iu minim for datwan wea iu lovem mas sik and dae? Nomoa nao! So waswe, iu guilty from iu nao mekem datwan hem dae? Nomoa.

Wanfala mami lane for deal witim wei wea hem feel guilty taem dota bilong hem dae long wanfala car accident. Hem sei: “Mi feel guilty from mi sendem hem go aot. Bat mi luksavve hem no stret for feel olsem. No eni samting hem rong for sendem hem go witim dadi bilong hem for duim wanfala waka. Hem just wanfala nogud accident.”

‘Bat planti samting nao mi wish mi bin talem or duim,’ maet iu sei. Hem tru, bat hu nao long iumi savve sei hem wanfala perfect dadi, mami, or pikinini? Bible talem iumi: “Iumi evriwan foldaon staka taem. Sapos eniwan hem no foldaon long toktok, hem wanfala perfect man.” (James 3:2; Romans 5:12) So acceptim wei wea iu no perfect. Wei for ting abaotem olketa “sapos mi duim” bae no changem eni samting, bat maet hem mekem moa hard for iu kamap gud bak moa.

Sapos iu biliv iu garem trufala reason for feel guilty, then tingim wanfala important samting for winim guilty feeling—wei wea God savve forgive. Bible encouragem iumi olsem: “Sapos olketa mistek nao samting wea iu lukaotem, O Jah, O Jehovah, hu nao savve standap? From iu garem trufala wei for forgive.” (Psalm 130:3, 4) Iu kanduit go bak and changem eni samting. Bat, iu savve askem God for forgivim olketa mistek wea iu bin duim bifor. Then wanem moa? Well, sapos God promis for forgivim olketa mistek wea iu bin duim bifor, waswe, iu mas forgivim iuseleva?—Proverbs 28:13; 1 John 1:9.

Waswe, iu feel kros tu long olketa doctor, nurse, fren, or long datwan wea dae tu? Luksavve hao diswan tu hem wanfala feeling wea savve kamap taem samwan hem dae. Maet wei wea iu feel kros hem join witim wei wea iu no feel gud. Wanfala man for raet hem sei: “Only sapos iu luksavve iu kros—no for duim samting bat luksavve iu kros—then bae datwan no savve spoelem iu.”

Maet hem help tu for talemaot wei wea iu feel kros. Long wanem wei? No long wei wea iu kros and singaot big. Bible warnim iumi hao hem danger samting for kros longtaem. (Proverbs 14:29, 30) Bat hem bae helpem iu sapos iu tok abaotem diswan witim wanfala gud fren. And samfala faendem hao wei for duim strongfala exercise taem olketa feel kros savve help for aotem disfala feeling.—Lukim tu Ephesians 4:25, 26.

Nomata hem important for luksavve long feeling bilong iu and for talemaot diswan, wanfala warning hem stap. Wei for talemaot feeling bilong iu hem difren from wei for torowem feeling bilong iu long nara pipol. Iu mas no blamem nara pipol from iu feel kros. So tingim wei wea iu talemaot feeling bilong iu, bat no duim long nogud wei. (Proverbs 18:21) Wanfala main samting for helpem iumi deal witim sorre hem stap, and iumi bae tok abaotem distaem.

Bible encouragem iumi olsem: “Jehovah hem stap klosap long olketa wea heart bilong olketa brek; and hem sevem olketa wea spirit bilong olketa pisis.” (Psalm 34:18) Yes, winim eni nara samting, wei for fren witim God savve helpem iu for deal witim wei wea samwan wea iu lovem  hem dae. Long wanem wei? Olketa gudfala idea wea mifala givim finis hem kam from or agree witim Word bilong God, Bible. Wei for followim olketa savve helpem iu for deal witim diswan.

And tu, no ting daonem paoa bilong prea. Bible encouragem iumi: “Torowem hevi bilong iu long Jehovah, and hem nao bae strongim iu.” (Psalm 55:22) Sapos wei for tok abaotem feeling bilong iu witim wanfala gudfala fren savve helpem iu, then wei for talemaot evri feeling bilong iu long “God bilong evri comfort” bae barava helpem iu tu!—2 Corinthians 1:3.

Prea hem no just for mekem iumi feel beta nomoa. “Man wea Herem prea” hem promis for givim holy spirit long olketa servant bilong hem wea ask for diswan. (Psalm 65:2; Luke 11:13) And holy spirit bilong God, or active force, savve givim iu ‘paoa wea winim wanem iu garem’ for deal witim diswan evriday. (2 Corinthians 4:7) Remember: God savve helpem olketa faithful servant bilong hem for stand strong long enikaen problem wea olketa maet feisim.

Wanfala woman wea pikinini bilong hem dae, talem hao paoa bilong prea helpem hem and hasband bilong hem taem pikinini dae. “Sapos mifala stap long haos long naet and mifala feelim bigfala sorre, mifala savve prea big tugeta” hem sei. “Long firstaem wea mifala duim samting and hem no stap witim mifala—first meeting long kongregeson wea mifala go long hem, first convention wea mifala attendim—mifala savve prea long Jehovah for strongim mifala. Taem mifala wekap long morning and luksavve hao mifala no fit for deal witim diswan, mifala savve prea for Jehovah helpem mifala. Mi no savve why, bat evritaem mi wakabaot go insaed long haos seleva, mi savve feelim bigfala sorre. And so evritaem miseleva kam long haos, mi savve prea long Jehovah for plis helpem mi for stap gud.” Datfala faithful woman hem barava bilivim hao olketa prea hia helpem hem. Maet iu lukim tu hao from iu prea evritaem, ‘peace bilong God wea winim evri tingting bilong man bae protectim heart and tingting bilong iu.’—Philippians 4:6, 7; Romans 12:12.

God savve barava helpem iumi. Christian aposol Paul talem hao God “comfortim iumi long evri trabol bilong iumi, mekem iumi fit for comfortim olketa wea kasem enikaen trabol.” Tru, help wea kam from God no savve finisim disfala pain, bat hem helpem iumi for deal witim diswan. Hem no minim iu bae no krae moa or forgetim datwan wea iu lovem. Bat iu savve kamap gud moa. And taem iu duim olsem, savve wea iu kasem from diswan savve helpem iu for minim gud nara pipol and helpem olketa for deal witim sem samting tu.—2 Corinthians 1:4.