“SAPOS iu laekem mi for duim eniting for iu, iu savve askem mi.” Diswan nao samting wea iumi savve talem long fren or relative taem samwan hem just dae. Hem tru, iumi barava minim for duim tu. Iumi bae duim eniting for help. Bat waswe, datfala man savve kolem iumi and sei: “Mi tingim wanfala samting wea iu savve duim for mi”? Nomoa. Hem klia hao, maet iumi nao need for duim samting firstaem sapos iumi really want for helpem and comfortim datwan wea sorre.

Wanfala wisefala toktok long Bible sei: “Toktok wea iu talem long barava taem bilong hem, hem olsem olketa gold apple wea stap long wanfala silver karving.” (Proverbs 15:23; 25:11) Hem showimaot wisefala tingting for savve wanem for talem and no talem, wanem for duim and no duim. Long hia hem samfala idea from Bible wea helpem samfala pipol taem samwan hem dae.

Lisin: Mas “kwiktaem for lisin,” James 1:19 hem sei. Wanfala gud samting wea iu savve duim hem for sharem pain bilong man wea sorre long wei wea iu lisin. Samfala pipol maet need for tok abaotem datwan wea olketa lovem wea dae, abaotem datfala accident or sik wea killim hem dae, or abaotem feeling bilong olketa start long taem wea datfala man hem dae. So ask olsem: “Waswe, iu laek for tok abaotem diswan?” Letem olketa disaed. Taem dadi bilong hem dae, wanfala young man sei: “Hem really helpem mi taem nara pipol askem wanem nao happen and then olketa really lisin.” Lisin witim patient fasin and showaot iu kea and no ting olsem iu mas garem ansa for evri samting. Letem olketa talemaot samting wea olketa want for sharem.

Provaedem encouragement: Talem olketa hao olketa bin duim evri samting wea olketa fit for duim (or eni nara samting wea iu savve hem tru and gud). Talem olketa moa hao feeling wea olketa garem—wei for feel sorre, kros, guilty, or samfala nara feeling olsem—hem feeling wea savve kasem evriwan tu. Talem olketa abaotem samfala pipol wea iu savve long olketa wea winim sem samting. Proverbs 16:24 talem hao olketa “gudfala toktok” olsem savve “healim olketa bon.”—1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14.

Stap redy for help: Iu mas stap redy for help, no just insaed first tu-thri day nomoa taem olketa fren and relative stap, bat olketa month bihaen tu taem nara pipol go bak long living bilong olketa. Long disfala wei, iu showimaot hao iu “wanfala trufala fren,” wea bae stap redy for wanfala  fren long taem bilong “trabol.” (Proverbs 17:17) “Olketa fren bilong mifala mek sure mifala garem samting for duim long evening mekem mifala no stap seleva evritaem long haos,” Teresea hem sei, wea pikinini bilong hem dae from car accident. “Datwan helpem mifala for deal witim feeling bilong mifala.” Planti year bihaen, long olketa anniversary day, olsem wedding anniversary or date wea datfala man hem dae, olketa nao hardfala taem for olketa wea laef yet. Hem gud for raetem olketa date olsem long kalenda bilong iu, mekem long datfala date, iu savve redy for givim saport, sapos olketa needim.

Duim samting firstaem wea fitim: Waswe, samfala waka stap for iu duim? Hem needim samwan for keepim olketa pikinini? Waswe, olketa fren and relative wea visit kam needim ples for stap? Taem samwan hem just dae, samfala pipol seke fogud, and planti taem olketa no savve wanem nao olketa need for duim, or for askem nara pipol for helpem olketa. So sapos iu luksavve wanfala need hem stap, no weitim olketa for askem iu; duim samting firstaem. (1 Corinthians 10:24; lukim 1 John 3:17, 18.) Wanfala woman wea hasband bilong hem dae sei: “Planti sei, ‘sapos iu laekem mi for duim eniting for iu, iu savve askem mi.’ Bat wanfala fren no ask olsem. Hem go stret insaed long bedroom, aotem evri samting from bed, and wasim bedsheet wea dirty from taem hem dae. Nara woman tekem wanfala baket, wata, and olketa samting for klining and wasim carpet wea hasband bilong mi toroaot long hem. Samfala week bihaen, wanfala elder long kongregeson hem kam witim waka kaleko bilong hem and olketa tul and sei, ‘Mi savve wanfala samting hem stap for mi mas fixim. Wanem nao diswan?’ Mi thankiu tumas long disfala man for fixim door wea klosap foldaon and for fixim wanfala electric samting!”—Lukim James 1:27.

Showimaot welkam: “No forgetim wei for showimaot welkam,” Bible talem iumi. (Hebrews 13:2) Iumi mas remember for showimaot kaenfala fasin long olketa wea feel sorre.  Winim wei for sei “kam enitaem,” markem wanfala date and taem. Sapos olketa no want for kam, no givap kwiktaem. Maet olketa needim lelebet encouragement. Maet olketa no acceptim invitation from olketa fraet, from olketa no savve bossim feeling bilong olketa front long nara pipol. Or maet olketa feel guilty for enjoyim gudfala kaikai and wei for kaban tugeta long taem olsem. Rememberim disfala kaenfala woman Lydia wea Bible tok abaotem. Bihaen hem invaetem olketa long haos bilong hem, Luke sei, “Hem wantem tumas for mifala kam.”—Acts 16:15.

Showimaot patient fasin and wei for minim samting: No sapraes tumas long samting wea olketa wea sorre maet talem firstaem. Remember, maet olketa feel kros and feel guilty. Sapos olketa kros and aotem olketa feeling bilong olketa long iu, iu need for garem gudfala tingting and patient fasin for no kros kwiktaem. “Werem fasin for kea, kaenfala fasin, hambol tingting, kwaet fasin, and long-safaring,” Bible hem sei.—Colossians 3:12, 13.

Raetem wanfala leta: Wanfala samting wea iumi forgetim planti taem hem wei for raetem wanfala leta or card wea garem toktok for comfortim olketa wea sorre. Why nao diswan hem gud? Cindy, wea mami bilong hem dae from cancer sei olsem: “Wanfala fren raetem naesfala leta long mi. Datwan really helpem mi bikos mi savve readim moa evritaem.” Disfala leta or card for encouragem olketa maet garem “tu-thri toktok nomoa,” bat hem mas showimaot samting wea stap insaed long heart bilong iu. (Hebrews 13:22) Hem savve talem hao iu kea for olketa and hao iu sharem wanfala spesol memory abaotem datwan wea dae, or hem savve showimaot wei wea datwan wea dae hem affectim iu.

Prea witim olketa: No ting daonem olketa prea wea iu talem witim and for olketa wea sorre. Bible sei: “Prea bilong man wea raeteous . . . hem barava garem paoa.” (James 5:16) For example, wei wea olketa herem iu prea for olketa savve helpem olketa for winim samfala nogud feeling olsem wei for feel guilty.—Lukim James 5:13-15.

No hol bak for visit from iu no savve long wanem for talem or duim: ‘Mi savve olketa need for stap seleva distaem,’ maet iumi sei. Bat, maet tru samting hem iumi hol bak bikos iumi fraet for talem or duim rong samting. Bat, sapos olketa fren, relative, or olketa wea garem sem biliv no visitim hem, maet diswan mekem hem feel moa lonely, and mekem disfala pain kamap moa big. Remember, hem olketa simpol toktok and waka wea showimaot kaenfala fasin. (Ephesians 4:32) Wei wea iu stap witim hem savve encouragem hem tu. (Lukim Acts 28:15.) Taem hem tingim day wea dota bilong hem dae, Teresea sei: “Insaed wan hour nomoa, hospital hem fulap witim olketa fren bilong mifala; olketa elder and waef bilong olketa tu kam. Samfala woman no garem taem for komim gud hair bilong olketa, samfala werem yet waka kaleko bilong olketa. Olketa lusim evri samting and kam. Planti talem mifala hao olketa no savve wanem for talem, bat wei wea olketa stap witim mifala hem moa important.”

No forcem olketa for no sorre: ‘Finis nao, no krae,’ maet iumi want for sei olsem. Bat hem moabeta for krae. “Mi ting hem important for letem datfala man for showimaot feeling bilong hem and for aotem disfala feeling,” Katherine hem sei, taem hem tingim dae bilong hasband bilong hem. Stap klia long wei for talem nara pipol hao olketa mas feel. And no tingse iu mas haedem feeling bilong iu for protectim feeling  bilong olketa. Bat, “krae witim pipol wea krae,” Bible hem sei.—Romans 12:15.

No kwiktaem for talem olketa for torowem olketa kaleko and nara samting bilong datwan wea dae: Maet iumi ting hem moabeta for torowem evri samting wea maet mekem olketa tingim disfala man evritaem bikos bae olketa sorre for longtaem. Bat disfala toktok “Sapos iu no lukim, bae iu no tingim” hem no fitim taem olsem. Datfala man maet need for isisi let go long datwan wea dae. Tingim wei wea Bible story abaotem feeling bilong Jacob taem hem biliv hao wanfala wild animal killim dae young son bilong hem Joseph. Bihaen olketa givim kaleko bilong Joseph wea garem blood long Jacob, hem “go ahed for krae for son bilong hem for planti day. And olketa son and dota bilong hem go ahed for comfortim hem, bat hem no wantem olketa for comfortim hem.”—Genesis 37:31-35.

 No sei long hem, ‘Iu savve garem nara baby’: “Mi nating laekem nara pipol for talem mi hao mi savve garem nara pikinini,” wanfala mami wea pikinini bilong hem dae hem sei. Maet olketa garem gud tingting, bat for disfala dadi or mami wea sorre, for talem hao olketa savve changem datfala pikinini wea dae, hem olsem ‘wanfala sword hem sutim’ olketa. (Proverbs 12:18) Wanfala pikinini no savve changem narawan. Why nao olsem? From each wan hem spesol.

No trae for no tok abaotem datwan wea dae: “Planti pipol no savve talem nem bilong son bilong mi Jimmy or tok abaotem hem,” wanfala mami hem sei. “Mi no feel gud taem nara pipol duim olsem.” So no trae for changem story taem olketa start for tok abaotem wan wea dae. Askem hem sapos hem want for tok abaotem datwan wea hem lovem. (Lukim Job 1:18, 19 and 10:1.) Samfala pipol hapi for herem fren bilong olketa tok abaotem samfala gudfala fasin wea mekem olketa lovem datwan wea dae.—Lukim Acts 9:36-39.

No kwiktaem for sei, ‘Hem moabeta for hem’: For trae for lukim gud saed bilong dae hem no evritaem ‘helpem pipol wea feel sorre.’ (1 Thessalonians 5:14) Taem mami bilong hem dae, wanfala young girl sei: “Nara pipol savve sei, ‘Hem no safa nao’ or, ‘Hem stap long peace nao.’ Bat mi no want for herem datwan.” Olketa toktok olsem maet mekem olketa wea stap laef feel olsem olketa mas no feel sorre, or dae bilong disfala man hem no important tumas. Bat, maet olketa feel sorre tumas bikos olketa missim wan wea olketa lovem.

Maet hem moabeta for no sei, ‘Mi savve long feeling bilong iu’: Waswe, hem tru? For example, iu savve long feeling bilong dadi or mami wea pikinini bilong hem dae sapos iuseleva no kasem sem samting olsem? And sapos iu kasem sem samting olsem, luksavve hao feeling bilong nara pipol hem no barava semsem olsem bilong iu. (Lukim Lamentations 1:12.) Bat, sapos hem fitim, maet hem gud sapos iu talem hao iu kamap gud moa bihaen longtaem datwan wea iu lovem hem dae. Wanfala woman wea dota bilong hem dae, kasem encouragement taem mami bilong nara girl wea dae talem hao hem go ahed moa long living bilong hem. Hem sei: “Mami bilong disfala girl wea dae, hem no startim story bilong hem witim ‘Mi savve long feeling bilong iu.’ Hem just tok abaotem olketa samting wea affectim hem and letem mi for tingting long datwan.”

For helpem man wea sorre taem samwan hem dae, hem minim, iumi need for showimaot kaenfala fasin, wei for minim samting, and love. No weitim man hia for kam long iu. No just sei, “Sapos iu laekem mi for duim eniting . . . ” Iuseleva nao mas faendem datfala “eniting,” and then duim samting wea fitim.

Tu-thri kwestin stap yet: Waswe long resurrection hope bilong Bible? Wanem nao hem minim for iu and for datwan wea iu lovem wea dae? Hao nao iumi sure iumi savve trustim datfala hope?