STUDY ARTICLE 22
SONG 127 Wei wea Mi Shud Garem
Fren lo Wei wea Bae Helpem Iutufala for Mekem Wise Disison
“Samting wea mas mekem iufala luk naes nao hem samting wea hem long heart . . . and God tinghae tumas long hem.”—1 PET. 3:4.
MAIN FOCUS
Disfala article bae storyim wat wanfala brata and sista wea fren savve duim for helpem tufala mekem wise disison, and hao olketa lo kongregeson savve sapotim tufala.
1-2. Wat nao feeling blo samfala brata and sista taem olketa fren?
TAEM wanfala brata and sista fren, tufala savve hapi tumas. If iu fren distaem, for sure iu laekem frenship blo iu for gohed gud. And staka taem, hem nao wat hem happen. Tsion, a wanfala sista from Ethiopia, sei: “Wanfala happiest taem lo laef blo mi, hem taem wea mi and hasband blo mi fren. Samfala taem mitufala storyim serious samting and samfala taem mitufala mek-fani tu. Mi hapi taem mi luksavve mi faendem samwan wea mi lovem and hem tu lovem mi.”
2 Bat, Alessio, wanfala brata from Netherlands, sei, “Mi hapi tumas taem mitufala waef blo mi fren and mi start for savve lo hem, nomata olsem, mitufala feisim samfala challenge tu.” Lo disfala article, bae iumi storyim samfala challenge and Bible principle for helpem olketa brata and sista wea fren for mekem wise disison. Bae iumi storyim tu hao olketa lo kongregeson savve sapotim olketa wea fren.
WAT NAO PURPOSE BLO WEI FOR FREN?
3. Wat nao purpose blo wei for fren? (Proverbs 20:25)
3 Nomata wei for fren hem hapi samting, hem serious tu bikos maet hem bae lead go lo marit. Lo wedding day, wanfala couple promis front lo Jehovah for lovem and respectim each other for full laef blo tufala. Bifor iumi mekem eni promis, iumi mas tingting gud firstaem. (Readim Proverbs 20:25.) Tru nao, marit promis hem barava important samting. Taem wanfala brata and sista fren, hem bae helpem tufala for savve gud lo each other and mekem gud disison. Maet tufala disaed for marit, or maet tufala disaed for finisim frenship. If tufala brek ap, datwan no minim tufala fail. Really tufala kasem nao goal blo tufala bikos purpose blo fren hem for faendaot sapos tufala fitim each other or nomoa.
4. Why nao iumi shud garem stretfala tingting abaotem wei for fren?
4 Why nao hem important for garem stret tingting abaotem wei for fren? Taem olketa singol wan garem stret tingting abaotem diswan, hem bae helpem olketa for no frenim eniwan wea olketa no ting for maritim. Nomata olsem, iumi evriwan need for garem stret tingting abaotem diswan. Iumi shud remember wat nao purpose blo wei for fren. For example, samfala tingse if wanfala brata and sista fren, tufala mas marit. Hao nao diskaen tingting affectim olketa singol wan? Melissa, wanfala singol sista lo United States, sei: “Taem wanfala brata and sista fren, tufala kasem staka pressure for mas marit. Taem olsem, samfala gohed for fren nomata tufala no fitim each other. Samfala singol wan no even laek for fren. Datfala pressure savve barava affectim olketa.”
TRAE FOR SAVVE GUD LO EACH OTHER
5-6. Wat nao samfala samting wea tufala wea fren shud savve abaotem? (1 Peter 3:4)
5 Sapos iu fren distaem, wat nao bae helpem iu for disaed if iu bae maritim hem or nomoa? Trae for savve gud lo each other. Maet iu savve finis samfala samting abaotem hem bifor iutufala start for fren. Bat taem iu fren, iu garem chance for savve lo “samting wea hem long heart” blo hem. (Readim 1 Peter 3:4.) Bae iu savve lane abaotem spiritual saed, wei, and tingting blo hem. Isisi bae iu kasem ansa for olketa kwestin olsem: ‘Waswe, hem bae gud marit partner for mi?’ (Prov. 31:26, 27, 30; Eph. 5:33; 1 Tim. 5:8) ‘Hao, bae mitufala savve givim love and attention wea each wan needim? Hao, mitufala savve deal witim wik point blo each other?’ b (Rome 3:23) Taem iutufala start for savve lo each other, tingim diswan: For luksavve if iutufala fitim each other, hem no minim iutufala mas semsem lo staka samting, bat hem depend lo hao iutufala willing for change for fitim each other.
6 Taem iutufala fren, wat nao samfala nara samting wea iu need for savve abaotem? Bifor iutufala start for laekem tumas each other, hem gud for discussim samfala important samting olsem olketa goal blo iutufala. Bat waswe lo olketa personal samting olsem health, problem saed lo selen, or trauma from olketa nogud samting wea happen lo hem bifor? Taem iutufala start fren, hem no minim iutufala mas discussim evri samting. (Comparem John 16:12.) If iu feel iu no redi yet for ansarem samfala personal kwestin, hem gud for talem hem. Nomata olsem, gogo bae iu need for talem hem olketa information hia for helpem hem mekem balance disison. Kasem wanfala stage lo frenship blo iutufala, iu bae need for story klia abaotem olketa samting hia.
7. Hao nao tufala wea fren savve lane abaotem wei blo each other? (Lukim tu box “ Long-Distance Relationship.”) (Lukim tu olketa piksa.)
7 Hao nao bae iu savve gud lo really wei blo samwan? Wanfala best wei hem for story klia and honest, and askem olketa kwestin and lisin gud. (Prov. 20:5; Jas. 1:19) Samting wea savve helpem tufala, hem for duim olketa activity wea mekem hem isi for story, olsem for kaikai tugeta, wakabaot lo pablik ples, and preach tugeta. Iu savve lane abaotem each other tu taem iu spendem taem witim famili and frens. And tu, hem gud for planim olketa difren activity wea bae helpem iu for lukim attitude blo hem lo olketa difren situation and hao hem deal witim olketa difren pipol. Lukim wat Aschwin, from Netherlands trae for duim. Hem sei olsem abaotem taem hem frenim Alicia: “Mitufala trae for duim olketa activity wea bae helpem mitufala for savve gud lo each other. Staka taem mitufala duim olketa simpol samting, olsem for preparem kaikai tugeta or duim waka lo haos. Lo taem olsem, iu savve lukim olketa positive wei and olketa wik point blo hem.”
If iutufala duim olketa activity wea mekem hem isi for story, bae hem moa isi for iutufala savve gud lo each other (Lukim paragraf 7-8)
8. Wanem gud samting nao maet tufala wea fren kasem taem tufala study tugeta?
8 Nara samting wea savve helpem iutufala for savve gud lo each other, hem for studyim olketa spiritual subject tugeta. If iutufala marit, iutufala bae need for markem taem for duim famili worship mekem God kamap main samting lo marit blo iutufala. (Eccl. 4:12) Hao if iutufala markem taem for study tugeta distaem? Tufala wea fren no wanfala famili yet, and hem no minim brata hia hem hed blo sista nao. Bat, taem iutufala study tugeta, iutufala bae lane abaotem spiritual saed blo each other. Max and Laysa, wanfala couple from United States kasem nara gud samting. Hem sei: “Taem mitufala start fren, mitufala start for studyim olketa pablikeson wea storyim wei for fren, marit, and famili laef. Olketa pablikeson hia helpem mitufala for storyim olketa important subject wea hem no isi for mitufala start for storyim.”
NARA SAMTING FOR TING ABAOTEM
9. Wat nao tufala wea fren shud tingim taem tufala disaed hu nao bae tufala talem abaotem frenship blo tufala?
9 Hu nao iu shud talem frenship blo iu lo hem? Iutufala wea fren nao bae disaedem datwan. Taem iu start for fren, maet iutufala disaed for talem tu-thri nomoa. (Prov. 17:27) Taem iu duim datwan, maet hem helpem iu for avoidim olketa unnecessary kwestin and pressure. Bat, if iutufala no talem eniwan, maet end ap iutufala isolatem iutufala seleva bikos iutufala no laekem olketa narawan for savve. Datwan hem danger samting. So hem wise for talem olketa wea savve givim gudfala advaes and wea savve help. (Prov. 15:22) For example, iu savve talem samfala lo famili, olketa mature frens, or olketa elder.
10. Hao nao tufala wea fren savve keepim frenship blo tufala klin? (Proverbs 22:3)
10 Hao nao iutufala savve keepim wei wea iutufala fren hem klin? Taem feeling blo iutufala for laekem each other hem kamap strong, hem natural for iutufala feel klos lo each other. Wat nao bae helpem iutufala for no duim eni samting wea bae mekem Jehovah no hapi? (1 Cor. 6:18) No storyim eni samting wea lead go lo wei for durong, no stap seleva, and no ova tumas lo alcohol. (Eph. 5:3) Olketa samting olsem, savve mekem man laek for duim sex and hem bae hard for iu disaed strong for duim stret samting. Hem gud for evritaem discussim hao for respectim each other and olketa standard blo Jehovah. (Readim Proverbs 22:3.) Lukim wat helpem Dawit and Almaz from Ethiopia. Tufala sei: “Mitufala savve spendem taem tugeta lo ples wea staka pipol stap or witim frens. Mitufala no stap seleva lo car or haos. Taem olsem, mitufala avoidim eni situation wea savve temptim mitufala.”
11. Wat nao samfala samting wea tufala wea fren shud tingim taem tufala disaedem if tufala bae showimaot romantic feeling?
11 Waswe lo wei for showimaot romantic feeling for each other? Taem iutufala savve gud lo each other, maet iutufala disaed showimaot love lo wei wea fitim. Bat, if feeling for laekem sex hem kamap strong, bae hem blokem tingting blo iu for lukim klia wei blo each other. (Song blo Sol. 1:2; 2:6) And tu, wei for showimaot romantic feeling for each other savve mekem hem hard for kontrolem seleva and savve lead go lo wei for duim samting wea no klin. (Prov. 6:27) Dastawe, taem iutufala start for fren, iusim olketa Bible principle for markem olketa limit. c (1 Thess. 4:3-7) Storyim tugeta olketa kwestin hia: ‘Lo ples wea iumi stap, hao nao pipol ting abaotem wei for showimaot romantic feeling? Hao, hem bae mekem feeling for laek duim sex hem kamap strong lo eniwan lo iumi tufala?’
12. Wat nao tufala wea fren shud luksavve lo hem abaotem olketa problem and wei for disagree?
12 Hao, iutufala savve deal witim olketa problem and wei for disagree? Wat if iutufala disagree samfala taem? Hao, diswan showimaot iutufala no fitim each other? Nomoa, evriwan wea fren savve disagree samfala taem. For wanfala marit gohed gud, hasband and waef mas waka hard for change for fitim each other. So hao iutufala deal witim problem distaem bae showim if iutufala savve deal witim olketa problem bihaen iutufala marit. Storyim tugeta olketa kwestin hia: ‘Hao, iumi savve story gud and showimaot respect? Waswe, iumi willing for acceptim wik point and trae for improve? Waswe, iumi kwiktaem for tingim narawan, sei sorre, and forgive?’ (Eph. 4:31, 32) Bat, if iutufala evritaem disagree or argue taem iutufala fren, luk olsem datfala situation bae no improve bihaen iutufala marit. If iu luksavve datfala person hem no raet wan for iu, hem beta for finisim datfala frenship bikos maet datwan hem best disison for iutufala evriwan. d
13. Wat nao samfala samting wea savve helpem tufala wea fren for disaedem hao long tufala shud fren?
13 Hao long nao iutufala shud fren? Nogud samting savve kamap taem man kwiktaem for mekem disison. (Prov. 21:5) Hao long iutufala fren bae depend lo hao long hem tek for iutufala savve gud lo each other. Bat, iutufala shud no tek longtaem tumas if no eni need stap. And tu, Bible sei: “Taem samting wea man expectim hem delay, datwan mekem heart for sik.” (Prov. 13:12) And taem iutufala spendem moa taem tugeta, hem bae kamap moa hard for kontrolem feeling for laek duim sex. (1 Cor. 7:9) Instead for focus lo hao long iutufala fren, tingim diswan, ‘Waswe, eni samting moa mi need for savve lo hem for helpem mi mekem disison?’
HAO NAO OLKETA NARAWAN SAVVE SAPOTIM TUFALA WEA FREN?
14. Wat nao samfala wei wea iumi savve sapotim tufala wea fren? (Lukim tu piksa.)
14 If iumi savve wanfala brata and sista fren, hao nao iumi savve helpem tufala? Iumi savve invaetem tufala for kaikai, joinim famili worship, or for hapitaem tugeta. (Rome 12:13) Taem olsem, tufala bae savve gud lo each other. Tingim diswan, hao, tufala needim wanfala chaperone, transport, or ples for tufala savve story? Sapos olsem, iumi savve helpem olketa. (Gal. 6:10) Alicia, wea iumi storyim finis, storyim wat hem and Aschwin tinghae lo hem. Hem sei, “Mitufala hapi tumas dat samfala brata and sista sei mitufala savve go lo haos blo olketa if mitufala needim ples for story bat no stap seleva.” If tufala wea fren askem iu for chaperone, ting lo datwan olsem help blo iu for tufala. Mas careful for no leavim tufala stap seleva, bat luksavve tu dat tufala needim taem and spes for story.—Phil. 2:4.
If iumi savve wanfala brata and sista fren, iumi savve duim samting for sapotim tufala (Lukim paragraf 14-15)
15. Wat nao olketa nara samting wea olketa frens savve duim for helpem tufala wea fren? (Proverbs 12:18)
15 Iumi savve sapotim tu tufala wea fren taem iumi careful lo wanem iumi talem. Samfala taem, iumi need for kontrolem toktok blo iumi. (Readim Proverbs 12:18.) For example, iumi maet laek for talem olketa narawan dat wanfala brata and sista fren, bat maet tufala seleva nao laek for talem datfala nius lo olketa. Iumi shud no gossip abaotem tufala or criticizem personal disison blo tufala. (Prov. 20:19; Rome 14:10; 1 Thess. 4:11) And tu, iumi shud no talem koment or askem kwestin wea putim pressure for tufala mas marit. Sista Elise and hasband blo hem sei: “Mitufala no mas feel gud taem olketa narawan ask abaotem wedding plan blo mitufala taem mitufala no storyim yet.”
16. Wat nao iumi shud duim if tufala wea fren brek ap?
16 Hao if tufala wea fren disaed for finisim frenship blo tufala? Iumi shud no poke nose or teksaed. (1 Pet. 4:15) Sista Lea sei: “Taem mi herem olketa narawan story abaotem why mi and wanfala brata brek ap, mi barava feel nogud.” Olsem iumi storyim finis, taem tufala wea fren brek ap hem no minim tufala fail. Staka taem, datwan minim tufala kasem goal blo datfala frenship, wea hem nao for mekem wise disison. Nomata olsem, maet datfala disison mekem tufala sorre and maet mekem tufala feel lonely. So iumi laek for duim samting for sapotim tufala.—Prov. 17:17.
17. Wat nao tufala wea fren shud gohed for duim?
17 Olsem iumi storyim finis, wei for fren hem garem olketa challenge, bat hem hapi samting tu. Jessica sei: “For tok stret, wei for fren hem big waka. Nomata olsem, mi hapi bikos mitufala iusim taem and energy for savve gud lo each other.” If iutufala fren distaem, gohed for trae best for savve gud lo each other. If iutufala duim datwan, bae iutufala savve gud lo each other and datwan bae helpem iutufala for mekem wise disison.
SONG 49 Mekem Jehovah Hapi
a Mifala changem samfala nem.
b Samfala kwestin for ting raonem hem stap lo Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work, Volume 2, page 39-40.
c If tufala wea fren holehole lo private part blo each other hem semsem nomoa olsem for duim sex, so hem needim wanfala judicial komiti for deal witim datwan. For holehole lo susu and story abaotem sex lo telephone or text message hem needim tu judicial komiti, bat hem depend lo situation blo tufala.
d For samfala information moa, lukim “Kwestin From Reader” lo August 15, 1999, Wastaoa.