STUDY ARTICLE 21
SONG 107 God Showimaot Wei Bilong Love
Hao for Faendem Wanfala Marit Partner wea Fitim Iu
“Hu nao savve faendem wanfala gud waef? Value blo hem gud winim olketa coral.”—PROV. 31:10.
MAIN FOCUS
Disfala article bae storyim olketa Bible principle wea savve helpem samwan for faendem marit partner wea fitim hem and hao kongregeson savve sapotim olketa singol wan wea laek for marit.
1-2. (a) Wat nao samfala samting wea olketa singol Christian savve ting raonem gud bifor olketa start for fren? (b) Wat nao wei for fren hem minim? (Lukim “Mining blo Wanfala Toktok.”)
HAO, iu laek for marit? For man hapi hem no minim hem mas marit. Nomata olsem, staka singol wan lo kongregeson wea young or mature, olketa luk forward for garem wanfala marit partner. Bat, bifor iu fren, iu shud redi for marit laef. Iu shud fit for lukaftarem famili responsibility blo iu saed lo selen, strong lo spiritual wei, and savve hao for deal witim feeling blo iuseleva. a (1 Cor. 7:36) Taem olsem, iu bae hapi lo marit blo iu.
2 Bat, hem no evritaem isi for faendem wanfala marit partner wea fitim iu. (Prov. 31:10) And even taem iu faendem samwan wea iu laek for savve gud lo hem, maet for startim wei for fren hem no isi. b Lo disfala article, bae iumi discussim olketa samting wea savve helpem olketa singol Christian for faendem samwan for maritim and hao for start for fren. Bae iumi lanem tu hao olketa lo kongregeson savve sapotim olketa wea laek for marit.
HAO FOR FAENDEM WANFALA MARIT PARTNER WEA FITIM IU
3. Wat nao samfala samting wea wanfala singol Christian savve ting raonem gud taem hem lukaotem wanfala marit partner?
3 If iu ting for marit, bifor iu start for fren, hem best for iu savve firstaem wat nao olketa wei wea iu laekem samwan wea iu bae maritim for garem. c If iu no duim datwan, maet bae iu misstim samwan wea barava fitim iu or maet gogo iu frenim samwan wea no fitim iu. Bat olsem iumi savve finis, hem mas samwan wea baptaes. (1 Cor. 7:39) Nomata olsem, datwan no minim evriwan wea baptaes bae wanfala gud marit partner for iu. So hem gud for tingim olketa kwestin hia: ‘Wat nao olketa goal blo mi? Wat nao olketa important wei wea mi laekem marit partner for garem? Hao, wat mi expectim hem fitim?’
4. Wat nao samfala singol Christian prea abaotem?
4 If iu laek for marit, for sure iu prea abaotem datwan finis. (Phil. 4:6) Hem tru, Jehovah no promis dat evri servant blo hem bae faendem wanfala marit partner. Bat hem kea abaotem olketa need and feeling blo iu, and hem savve helpem iu for faendem wanfala marit partner. So gohed for storyim feeling blo iu lo Jehovah and wat iu laekem. (Ps. 62:8) Prea for wisdom and wei for patient. (Jas. 1:5) John, d wanfala singol brata from United States, storyim wat hem savve prea abaotem, hem sei: “Mi storyim lo Jehovah olketa quality wea mi laekem lo wanfala marit partner. Mi prea for olketa chance for mi meetim samwan wea bae mi maritim. And mi askem Jehovah tu for helpem mi garem olketa quality wea bae helpem mi for kamap gudfala hasband.” Tanya, wanfala sista from Sri Lanka, sei: “Taem mi gohed for luk for wanfala marit partner wea fitim, mi askem Jehovah for helpem mi for gohed faithful, positive, and for hapi.” Nomata iu no faendem stretawe wanfala marit partner wea fitim iu, Jehovah promis for provaedem wat iu needim saed lo feeling and olketa physical need blo iu.—Ps. 55:22.
5. Wea nao olketa singol Christian garem chance for meetim samwan wea lovem Jehovah? (1 Corinth 15:58) (Lukim tu piksa.)
5 Bible encouragem iumi for “evritaem busy long waka bilong Lord.” (Readim 1 Corinth 15:58.) Taem iu gohed busy lo service blo Jehovah and spendem taem witim staka difren brata and sista, bae iu enjoyim gud association and garem chance tu for meetim olketa nara singol wan wea olsem iu, wea olketa focus lo service blo olketa for Jehovah. And taem iu duim best for mekem Jehovah hapi, iu bae barava hapi.
If iu gohed busy lo service blo Jehovah and spendem taem witim staka difren brata and sista, maet iu bae meetim olketa narawan wea laek for marit (Lukim paragraf 5)
6. Wat nao wanfala singol Christian mas tingim taem hem lukaotem wanfala marit partner?
6 Nomata iu lukaotem marit partner, iu mas careful for no letem datwan kamap main samting lo laef blo iu. (Phil. 1:10) Trufala hapi hem no kam from wei wea iu marit or singol, bat hem depend lo frenship blo iu witim Jehovah. (Matt. 5:3) And from iu singol, iu free for duim staka samting lo ministry. (1 Cor. 7:32, 33) Taem iu singol, iusim gud datfala taem. Jessica, wanfala sista from United States wea marit taem hem klosap 40 years sei, “Mi gohed busy lo ministry, and datwan helpem mi for no wari nomata mi laek for marit.”
LUKLUK GUD FIRSTAEM
7. Why nao hem wise for lukluk gud firstaem bifor iu talem samwan dat iu interest lo hem? (Proverbs 13:16)
7 Hao if iu ting dat samwan bae gud marit partner for iu? Hao, bae iu kwiktaem for talem hem dat iu interest lo hem? Bible sei, man wea wise hem kasem knowledge bifor hem duim samting. (Readim Proverbs 13:16.) So hem wise for tek taem for lukluk gud firstaem and savve abaotem samwan bifor iu talem dat iu interest lo hem. Brata Aschwin from Netherlands, hem sei: “Feeling for laekem samwan savve kwiktaem for kamap and kwiktaem for lus tu. So wei for lukluk gud firstaem bae helpem iu for avoidim frenship wea base lo feeling nomoa wea kwiktaem for lus.” And tu, taem iu lukluk gud lo wei blo datfala person, maet iu luksavve dat hem no fitim iu.
8. Wat nao wanfala singol Christian savve duim taem hem luk for samwan wea hem interest lo hem? (Lukim tu piksa.)
8 Taem iu lukluk for samwan, hao nao bae iu duim lo wei wea hem no savve dat iu interest lo hem? Lo olketa kongregeson meeting or hapitaem, iu garem chance for lukim spiritual saed blo hem, wei blo hem, and wat hem duim. Hu nao olketa frens blo hem, and wat nao hem story abaotem? (Luke 6:45) Hao, olketa goal blo hem semsem witim goal blo iu? Iu savve story witim olketa elder lo kongregeson blo hem or olketa mature Christian wea savve gud lo hem. (Prov. 20:18) Maet iu savve ask abaotem reputation and wei blo hem. (Ruth 2:11) Taem iu lukluk gud lo wei blo datfala person, mek sure iu no mekem hem feel uncomfortable. Respectim privacy and feeling blo hem, and no ova tumas for ask abaotem hem or evritaem laek for stap lo ples wea hem stap.
Bifor iu talem samwan iu interest lo hem, hem wise for tek taem and lukluk gud firstaem (Lukim paragraf 7-8)
9. Bifor iu askem samwan wea iu interest lo hem, wat nao iu shud sure lo hem?
9 Hao long nao bae hem tek for iu lukluk gud lo wei blo samwan bifor iu talem dat iu laek for frenim hem? If iu kwiktaem tumas for ask, maet datfala brata or sista bae tingse iu no tingting gud bifor iu mekem disison. (Prov. 29:20) Bat if iu tek long taem tumas, maet datfala brata or sista tingse iu no savve hao for disaed, especially if hem luksavve iu interest lo hem. (Eccl. 11:4) Tingim, bifor iu ask for frenim samwan, iu no need for convince dat hem nao person wea iu bae maritim. Bat iu shud barava sure dat iu redi for marit and datfala person maet hem raet wan for iu.
10. Wat nao iu shud duim if iu luksavve samwan interest lo iu bat iu no interest lo hem?
10 Bat, hao if iu luksavve samwan interest lo iu? If iu no laek for fren, duim samting for showimaot klia dat iu no interest. Hem no kaen if iu duim samting wea mekem datfala person for hope nating.—1 Cor. 10:24; Eph. 4:25.
11. Lo olketa kantri wea samwan nao savve stretem wei for fren or marit, wat nao important samting wea hem shud tingim?
11 Lo samfala kantri, parents or relative savve chusim marit partner for olketa singol wan lo famili. Lo nara kantri, olketa famili and frens savve faendem marit partner wea fitim wanfala singol wan and then arrange for tufala meet for lukim if tufala laekem each other. If samwan askem iu for arrangem wanfala brata and sista for fren or marit, iu need for tingim wat nao tufala evriwan laekem and needim. If iu lukim samwan wea fitim, faendaot gud firstaem abaotem hu nao hem, wei blo hem, and important samting, frenship blo hem witim Jehovah. Klos wei for fren witim Jehovah hem important winim selen, education, or position. Bat remember, datfala brata and sista nao bae mekem final disison if tufala bae marit or nomoa.—Gal. 6:5.
START FOR FREN
12. If iu laek for frenim samwan, hao nao bae iu talem hem dat iu interest lo hem?
12 If iu laek for frenim wanfala brata or sista, hao nao bae iu talem dat iu interest lo hem? e Iu savve arrange for story witim hem lo wanfala pablik ples or lo phone. Storyim klia tingting blo iu. (1 Cor. 14:9) If fitim, givim hem taem for hem ting raonem ansa blo hem. (Prov. 15:28) And if datfala person no interest for fren, then respectim tingting blo hem.
13. Wat nao iu savve duim if samwan sei hem laek for frenim iu? (Colossae 4:6)
13 Hao if samwan sei hem interest lo iu? Hem big samting for samwan askem iu, so mas kaen and respectim hem. (Readim Colossae 4:6.) Sapos iu needim taem for ting raonem if bae iu agree for frenim hem, talem stret. Bat, no tek longtaem tumas for givim ansa. (Prov. 13:12) If iu no interest, lo kaenfala wei talem klia ansa blo iu. Lukim wat Hans wanfala brata from Austria duim taem wanfala sista askem hem. Hem sei: “Lo kaenfala wei mi explainim klia disison blo mi. Mi duim stretawe bikos mi no laekem hem for gohed hope nating. Afta datwan mi evritaem careful lo wat mi talem or duim taem mi deal witim hem.” Bat, if iu interest for frenim hem, storyim tingting blo iu and olketa samting wea involve lo datfala frenship. Wat iutufala expectim maet hem difren bikos lo culture or olketa nara reason.
HAO NAO OLKETA NARAWAN SAVVE HELPEM OLKETA SINGOL CHRISTIAN?
14. Hao nao toktok blo iumi savve showimaot iumi sapotim olketa singol Christian?
14 Hao nao iumi evriwan savve sapotim olketa singol Christian wea laek for marit? Wanfala wei, hem for careful lo wat iumi talem. (Eph. 4:29) Iumi shud askem iumiseleva: ‘Hao, mi savve fani for endim olketa wea laek for marit? Taem mi lukim singol brata and sista story, hao, mi kwiktaem conclude dat tufala interest lo each other?’ (1 Tim. 5:13) And tu, no enitaem iumi shud mekem olketa singol brata and sista for feel olsem samting rong nao dastawe olketa no marit. Hans wea iumi storyim finis, hem sei: “Samfala brata savve askem mi, ‘Why nao iu no marit? Iu klosap olo nao.’ Kaen koment olsem savve mekem olketa singol wan feel olsem no eniwan tingim olketa and hem putim pressure lo olketa for mas marit.” Hem gud for lukaotem chance for praisem olketa singol brata and sista blo iumi!—1 Thess. 5:11.
15. (a) For fitim principle lo Rome 15:2, wat nao iumi shud tingim bifor iumi savve helpem samwan for faendem wanfala marit partner? (Lukim tu piksa.) (b) Olketa wanem point nao iu lanem from datfala video?
15 Waswe sapos iumi ting dat wanfala brata hem barava fitim wanfala sista? Bible talem iumi for tingim feeling blo olketa narawan. (Readim Rome 15:2.) Staka singol wan no laekem narawan for introducem olketa for frenim samwan, and iumi mas respectim tingting blo olketa. (2 Thess. 3:11) Maet olketa narawan laekem iumi for helpem olketa, bat iumi shud no duim datwan if olketa no askem iumi. f (Prov. 3:27) Samfala singol wan laekem help bat lo difren wei. Sista Lydia, from Germany sei: “Hem gud for invaetem olketa singol brata and sista lo wanfala grup setting. Taem iu duim datwan, hem bae givim chance for olketa savve lo each other and then olketa seleva nao savve disaed.”
Lo wanfala big grup setting hem givim chance for olketa singol Christian for meetim each other (Lukim paragraf 15)
16. Wat nao olketa singol Christian shud tingim?
16 Iumi evriwan, nomata iumi singol or marit savve hapi and satisfae! (Ps. 128:1) So if iu laek for marit bat iu no faendem eniwan yet, gohed for focus lo service blo iu for Jehovah. Sista Sin Yi, from Macao, hem sei: “If iu comparem singol laef distaem witim taem wea iu bae spendem witim marit partner blo iu lo Paradaes, wei wea iu singol hem for short taem nomoa. Enjoyim taem wea iu singol yet, and iusim gud singol laef blo iu.” Bat, hao if iu faendem finis wanfala brata or sista wea fitim iu and iutufala start for fren? Lo next article, bae iumi storyim wanem bae helpem iu for mekem wise disison taem iu fren.
SONG 137 Olketa Faithful Woman, Christian Sista
a For helpem iu luksavve if iu redi for marit, go lo jw.org and lukim article “Dating—Part 1: Am I Ready to Date?”
b MINING BLO WANFALA TOKTOK: Lo disfala article and next wan, disfala toktok fren hem minim taem wea wanfala singol brata and sista start for savve gud lo each other for luksavve if wei blo tufala fitim each other. Lo samfala kantri, olketa kolem lo dating, courtship, start for savve gud lo samwan, or romantic relationship. Wei for fren hem start taem wanfala brata and sista talem klia hao tufala interest lo each other, and hem gohed go kasem taem tufala promis for marit or disaed for finis datfala frenship.
c Olketa principle lo olketa paragraf hia hem for olketa brata and sista tu.
d Mifala changem samfala nem.
e Lo samfala culture, staka taem brata nao savve askem sista for tufala fren. Bat, hem stret nomoa if sista askem wanfala brata. (Ruth 3:1-13) For moa information, lukim article “Young People Ask . . . How Can I Tell Him How I Feel?” lo Awake! blo October 22, 2004.
f Go lo jw.org and lukim video Olketa Faet Strong for Garem Strong Faith—Olketa Christian wea Singol.
