OLKETA wanem problem nao datfala hasband and waef mas stretem? Hasband hia savve kros kwiktaem. Tufala no agree long wanem pikinini savve duim and no savve duim. Luk olsem tufala hia no story gud tugeta.

Evriwan wea marit bae garem problem. Nomata sapos problem hem big or smol, hasband and waef mas lane hao for stretem olketa problem. Hao nao olsem?

Gogo, olketa problem wea hasband and waef no stretem savve stopem wei for story tugeta. King Solomon wea garem gudfala savve hem talem olsem: “Samfala raoa kamap olsem haf iron wea satem door bilong wanfala taoa.” (Proverbs 18:19) Hao nao iutufala savve openem datfala door for story gud tugeta and stretem olketa problem?

Hem tru wanfala hasband and waef mas story gud tugeta for tufala hapi, bat for barava hapi tufala mas showimaot love and respect. (Ephesians 5:33) Love bae helpem hasband and waef for stretem problem wea tufala kasem distaem and no tingim olketa problem wea tufala garem bifor. (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5; 1 Peter 4:8) Hasband and waef wea showimaot respect bae trae for no herem nomoa wanem narawan talem bat trae for minim wanem narawan talem.

Ting raonem fofala wei hia and hao Bible savve helpem iu for stretem olketa problem taem iu showimaot love and respect.

1. Markem taem for storyim problem.

“Evri samting garem wanfala taem wea set finis, . . . taem for stap kwaet and taem for toktok.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7) Samfala problem savve mekem hasband and waef barava feel  nogud, olsem datfala raoa wea iumi storyim finis. Sapos datwan happen, kontrolem iuseleva and “stap kwaet” bifor eniwan long iutufala kros. Hasband and waef bae stap gud sapos tufala obeyim disfala toktok long Bible: “Start bilong raoa hem olsem smol wata, so bifor wata hem ran big iu go nao.”—Proverbs 17:14.

“Taem for toktok” hem stap tu. Olsem rabis grass savve kamap big seleva, olketa problem tu savve kamap big seleva. So no ting nating long wanfala problem and tingse hem bae finis seleva. Sapos iu stopem story, respectim narawan and markem narafala taem for gohed storyim datfala problem. Diswan bae helpem iutufala for followim disfala toktok long Bible: “No gohed kros taem sun hem go daon.” (Ephesians 4:26) Long taem wea iutufala markem, gohed long datfala story.

2. Talemaot stret tingting bilong iu and showimaot respect.

“Iufala mas tok tru long neiba bilong [iufala].” (Ephesians 4:25) From iu marit, neiba wea stap klosap hem hasband or waef bilong iu. So talem stret tingting bilong iu taem iu story witim hasband or waef bilong iu. Margareta * wea marit for 26 year talem olsem: “Taem mi marit, mi tingse hasband bilong mi bae luksavve long feeling bilong mi taem wanfala problem kamap. Bat mi savve nao hao diskaen tingting hem no stret. Distaem mi trae for talemaot tingting and feeling bilong mi.”

Taem iu storyim wanfala problem witim hasband or waef bilong iu, tingim hao datfala taem hem no for raoa, bat for talemaot tingting bilong iu. For duim datwan, storyim wanem problem nao iu tingim, wanem taem nao datwan savve kamap, and storyim hao nao feeling bilong iu abaotem datfala problem. Tingim diswan, sapos iu no laekem wei wea hasband bilong iu putim dirty kaleko bilong hem olobaot, story gud long hem olsem, ‘Taem iu kam bak from waka and iu putim kaleko olobaot [taem and wanem abaotem datfala problem], hem olsem iu nating tinghae long waka wea mi duim for klinim haos [hao nao feeling bilong iu].’ Long gudfala wei storyim tingting bilong iu abaotem hao for stretem datfala problem.

3. Herehere and luksavve long feeling.

Disaepol James talem olketa Christian for “kwiktaem for herehere, slow for toktok, slow for kros.” (James 1:19) Taem hasband or waef tingse narawan no tingim feeling bilong hem abaotem wanfala problem, datwan savve mekem tufala for no hapi. So trae for no mekem hasband or waef bilong iu for garem datkaen tingting!—Matthew 7:12.

Wolfgang wea marit for 35 year hem talem olsem: “Taem mitufala waef storyim problem, mi savve feel nogud lelebet taem mi tingse hem no minim gud tingting bilong mi.” Dianna wea marit for 20 year talem olsem: “Mi savve talem hasband bilong mi hao hem olsem hem no herem mi taem mitufala storyim problem.” Hao nao iu savve winim datfala problem?

No tingse iu savve long tingting or feeling bilong hasband or waef bilong iu. Bible talem olsem: “Man wea praod mekem raoa kamap, bat olketa wea story tugeta garem bigfala savve.” (Proverbs 13:10) Respectim hasband or waef bilong iu and no katem story taem hem  talemaot tingting bilong hem. Maet iu storyim moa long toktok bilong iuseleva wanem hasband or waef talem, for showimaot iu minim samting wea hem talem and trae for no kros or tok spoelem hem. Letem hem stretem iu sapos iu no minim gud samting wea hem talem. No wanfala nomoa for story. Traem diskaen wei for story gogo iutufala evriwan luksavve long tingting and feeling bilong narawan.

Hasband or waef mas hambol and patient for herehere gud and for showimaot hem minim wanem narawan talem. Sapos iu duim olsem long hasband or waef bilong iu, bae hem tu laek for duim olsem.—Matthew 7:2; Romans 12:10.

4. Agree long hao for stretem problem.

“Tufala nao gud winim wanfala, bikos tufala bae kasem gud samting from hard waka bilong tufala. From sapos wanfala hem foldaon, narawan savve helpem hem for standap.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10) For stretem staka problem long marit, hasband and waef mas waka tugeta and helpem narawan.

Jehovah markem hasband for hed long famili. (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:23) Bat diswan no minim hem bossim evriwan long famili bilong hem. Wanfala hasband wea garem gudfala savve bae no disaedem samting seleva. David wea marit for 20 year hem talem olsem: “Mi trae for lukaotem wanem mitufala garem sem tingting abaotem mekem mi disaedem samting wea mitufala savve agree long hem.” Tanya wea marit for sevenfala year talem olsem: “Hem no important for savve hu nao stret and hu nao rong. Samfala taem hasband or waef garem difren tingting long hao for stretem wanfala problem. Long tingting bilong mi, wei for no ova tumas nao barava important.”

Jesus storyim hao marit hem olsem wanfala yoke. (Matthew 19:6) Long taem wea Jesus stap long earth, yoke hem wanfala pis timba wea olketa taengem long tufala animal for duim wanfala waka. Sapos tufala animal hia no waka gud tugeta, datfala yoke bae spoelem nek bilong tufala. Bat sapos tufala waka gud tugeta, tufala savve pullim hevi samting or pullim hou for digim wanfala big garden.

Hasband and waef wea no waka tugeta no savve hapi. Bat sapos tufala waka gud tugeta, tufala savve stretem staka problem and duim staka gud samting. Wanfala marit man wea nem bilong hem Kalala talem olsem: “For 25 year mitufala stretem problem long wei for talemaot stret tingting bilong mitufala, tingim feeling bilong narawan, prea long Jehovah for help, and followim wanem Bible talem.” Waswe, iu savve duim olsem tu?