WASWE, samfala taem iu feel olsem Will or Rachel? Tufala laek for story gud tugeta, bat staka taem datwan no isi. Why nao olsem?

Hem bikos wei bilong man for story hem difren from wei bilong woman. Staka taem olketa woman laek for storyim feeling bilong olketa. Bat staka man laek for kwiktaem stretem olketa problem mekem famili stap gud. Hao nao hasband and waef savve story gud tugeta? Hem nao for tufala showimaot respect long each other.

Wei for showimaot respect hem minim for tinghae and minim feeling bilong narawan. Taem iu pikinini, iu lane for respectim pipol wea garem paoa or bigfala savve winim iu. Bat taem iu marit, iu mas lane tu for respectim marit partner bilong iu. Linda wea marit for eit year finis sei: “Mi savve taem olketa narawan story long Phil hem lisin gud and trae for minim feeling bilong olketa. Mi laekem hem for duim olsem long mi tu.” Maet iu lisin gud and showimaot respect long olketa fren and olketa narawan. Bat waswe, iu duim olsem long marit partner bilong iu tu?

Wei for no respectim narawan savve mekem raoa kamap long famili. Wanfala wise ruler hem sei: “Famili wea kaikaim old bred and stap gud hem gud winim olketa wea garem staka kaikai bat raoa.” (Proverbs 17:1, Contemporary English Version) Bible talem hasband for showimaot respect long waef bilong hem. (1 Peter 3:7) “Waef mas barava respectim hasband bilong hem” tu.—Ephesians 5:33.

Hao nao iu savve story long wei wea showimaot respect? Tingim samfala gud advaes wea Bible talem.

Samting wea Mekem Hem No Isi:

Staka pipol laek for story bat no laek for lisin. Waswe, iu olsem tu? Bible sei: “Man hem krangge sapos hem ansarem samting bifor hem herem.” (Proverbs 18:13) So lisin firstaem bifor iu story. Why nao olsem? Kara wea marit for 26 year sei: “Mi laekem hasband bilong mi for no stretawe trae stretem problem bilong mi. Hem no need for sei mi garem problem or why nao problem kamap. Mi laekem nomoa for hem lisin long mi and luksavve long feeling bilong mi.”

Bat samfala man and woman no laek storyim tingting and feeling bilong olketa sapos marit partner forcem olketa for duim datwan. Lorrie wea just marit luksavve hao hasband bilong hem no kwiktaem for storyim feeling bilong hem. Hem sei: “Mi mas weit go kasem taem hem willing for storyim feeling bilong hem.”

Wanem for Duim:

Sapos iu and marit partner bilong iu mas storyim samting wea savve mekem raoa kamap, storyim datwan long taem wea fitim iutufala evriwan. Waswe sapos marit partner no laek for story? Hem gud for luksavve hao “tingting bilong man hem olsem wata long wanfala deep well, bat man wea garem wei for luksavve nao savve mekem hem for talem tingting bilong hem.” (Proverbs 20:5, Today’s English Version) Sapos iu kwiktaem tumas for pullim ap baket wata from well, bae staka wata kapsaet. Long sem wei tu, sapos iu forcem marit partner for talem tingting bilong hem, maet datwan mekem hem les for talem tingting bilong hem. Kaen long hem taem iu askem kwestin, and patient witim hem sapos hem no kwiktaem talem tingting bilong hem.

Taem marit partner bilong iu laek for story, iu mas “willing for lisin, no kwiktaem for toktok, and no kwiktaem for kros.” (James 1:19) Man wea lisin gud taem narawan story bae trae for minim why nao narawan tok olsem. Taem marit partner bilong iu story, trae for minim feeling bilong hem. Hem bae savve sapos iu respectim hem or nomoa.

Jesus showimaot gudfala example long wei for lisin. Taem wanfala man wea sik askem Jesus for mekem hem gud bak moa, Jesus no stretawe healim hem. First samting, hem lisin long wanem datfala man askem. Then wanem hem herem barava mekem hem sorre long datfala man. Then last samting, hem healim man hia. (Mark 1:40-42) Taem marit partner story long iu, followim example bilong Jesus. Tingim diswan: Maet hem no laekem iu for kwiktaem stretem problem bilong hem bat hem laekem iu for minim feeling bilong hem. So lisin gud long hem. Trae for minim gud feeling bilong hem. Duim tufala samting hia firstaem bifor iu trae for stretem datfala problem. Taem iu duim datwan, iu showimaot iu respectim marit partner bilong iu.

Samting wea Mekem Hem No Isi:

Linda wea iumi storyim finis hem sei: “Toktok bilong pipol long samfala television program mekem hem luk olsem hem olraet nomoa for tok spoelem and tok daonem marit partner bilong iu.” Samfala pikinini big kam long famili wea olketa tok spoelem each other evritaem. Bihaen olketa marit, olketa tu duim sem samting long famili bilong olketa. Ivy wea stap long Canada hem sei: “Mi big kam long famili wea mifala evritaem tok spoelem, singaotem, and kolem man long enikaen nogud nem.”

Wanem for Duim:

Taem iu storyim marit partner bilong iu long olketa narawan, “talem nomoa gudfala toktok for strongim and helpem olketa wea herem.” (Ephesians 4:29) Talem nomoa gudfala toktok wea showimaot iu respectim marit partner bilong iu.

Taem iu and marit partner nomoa stap, no tok spoelem or kolem each other long enikaen nogud nem. Long Israel bifor, Michal hem kros  long hasband bilong hem King David. Hem tok spoelem David and hem sei hem “olsem wanfala man wea duim krangge samting.” David kros long hem and God tu no hapi. (2 Samuel 6:20-23) Wanem nao iumi lanem from datwan? Bifor iu story long marit partner bilong iu, tingting gud abaotem wanem iu bae talem. (Colossians 4:6; footnote) Phil, wea hem marit for eit year finis talem hao hem and waef bilong hem no savve agree long samfala samting. Hem luksavve wanem hem talem nao samfala taem mekem raoa kamap. “Mi luksavve wei for laek win taem mitufala raoa savve spoelem wei wea mitufala fren. Long tingting bilong mi, hem gud for story long wei wea hem strongim marit bilong mitufala.”

Long bifor, wanfala olo widow woman talem tufala dota-in-law bilong hem for “faendem wanfala ples for rest, each wan insaed haos bilong hasband bilong hem.” (Ruth 1:9) Taem hasband and waef respectim each other, datwan mekem haos bilong tufala olsem “wanfala ples for rest.”

Samting wea Mekem Hem No Isi:

Samfala wea just marit tingse from Bible sei hasband and waef mas “kamap wanfala body nomoa,” datwan minim tufala mas garem sem tingting long evri samting. (Matthew 19:5) Gogo olketa luksavve hem hard for hasband and waef garem sem tingting evritaem. Bihaen olketa marit for samfala year, staka taem wei wea tufala no semsem mekem raoa kamap. Linda hem sei: “Main samting wea mitufala no semsem long hem nao Phil no savve wari tumas bat mi savve wari tumas. Samfala taem hem no wari bat mi nao wari, so mi kros long hem bikos luk olsem hem ting smol nomoa long samting wea mi warim.”

Wanem for Duim:

Tinghae long wei wea iutufala no semsem and luksavve iutufala bae no evritaem garem sem tingting abaotem wanfala samting. For minim datwan, tingim eye and ear bilong iu. Wanem tufala duim no semsem, bat tufala evriwan important for helpem iu akros long road mekem trak no bangam iu. Adrienne, wea hem marit for klosap 30 year finis hem sei: “Hem olraet nomoa for mi and hasband bilong mi garem difren tingting abaotem samting sapos tingting bilong mitufala no againstim wanem Bible talem. Hem tru mitufala marit, bat mitufala garem difren tingting.”

Sapos marit partner bilong iu garem difren tingting abaotem samting, no tingim nomoa wanem iuseleva laekem. Tingim feeling bilong hem. (Philippians 2:4) Kyle, hasband bilong Adrienne hem sei: “Staka taem mi no minim or agree long wanem waef bilong mi talem abaotem samfala samting. Bat mi tingim wei wea mi lovem waef bilong mi nao hem important winim wei for mi followim tingting bilong miseleva. Taem hem hapi, mi tu hapi.”

For hasband and waef hapi and stap gud, tufala mas respectim each other. Linda sei: “Hasband and waef wea respectim each other bae hapi and fren gud tugeta. Hem gud tumas for duim datwan.”