WHY RESPECT FOR FAMILY MATTERS

• The book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work says that when spouses have mutual respect, they express fondness for each other “not just in the big ways but in little ways day in and day out.”

• Research shows that children who learn to respect others have greater self-esteem, enjoy a better relationship with their parents, and suffer fewer psychological problems.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Create a plan, together with your family. First, fix in mind what you mean by “respect.” Second, write down specific behaviors that are expected from everyone in the family as well as behaviors that should be avoided. Third, discuss the plan as a family so that your children​—and you—​have a common foundation on which to build.

Set the example. Do you criticize your family members for their faults, mock them for their opinions, or ignore or interrupt them when they are talking to you?

Tip: Try to view respect as something that you owe your spouse and children, not something that they need to earn.

Disagree without being disagreeable. When expressing yourself, avoid sweeping assertions, such as “you always” or “you never.” Such harsh criticisms attack the character of your family member and can turn a minor disagreement into a major conflict.