ICOFASHA UMURYANGO | UMUBANO W’ABABIRANYE
Twoba dukwiye kubana tutarandikisha umubano?
Abagabo n’abagore benshi barabana batarandikisha umubano wabo. Bamwe babigira kubera biyumvira yuko bizobafasha kubona ko bazohuza canke ko bizotuma umubano wabo uroranirwa. None vy’ukuri kubana imbere y’uko mwandikisha umubano vyoba bibereye?
Ibi ni vyo tuza kubona muri kino kiganiro
Bibiliya ivuga iki ku bijanye no kubana mutanditse?
Bibiliya iriyamiriza guhuza ibitsina imbere yo kwubakana. Nk’akarorero, ivuga iti: «[Mwirinde] ubusambanyi.» (1 Abatesalonika 4:3; 1 Abakorinto 6:18) Aho harimwo guhuza ibitsina hagati y’umugabo n’umugore babana batanditse, naho mbere boba bafise intumbero yo kuzokwandikisha umubano wabo. a Impanuro zo muri Bibiliya ziratuma umuntu adatwara imbanyi atarubaka urwiwe, akirinda izindi ngorane ziterwa no kubana mutarandikisha umubano.
Umubano w’abubatse watangujwe n’Imana. Igihe yawutanguza, yavuze iti: «Umugabo azosiga se na nyina, [abane] n’umugore wiwe akaramata, kandi bazoba umubiri umwe.» (Itanguriro 2:24) Indagano y’ababiranye ituma umugabo n’umugore bagira umubano urangwamwo urukundo kandi utekanye.
Kubana mutanditse vyoba bizobafasha kwitegurira umubano?
Hari ababibona ukwo. Babona ko umugabo n’umugore barushiriza kumenyana igihe bakorana ibikorwa vyo muhira kandi umwe wese akitegereza kamere z’uwundi. Ariko rero indagano y’ukwabirana irakenewe kugira mu mubano bigende neza.
None ni ibiki vyofasha umugore n’umugabo kubana akaramata mu bihe vyiza no mu bihe vy’ingorane? Si mu kubana imbere y’uko bandikwa, aho usanga umugabo n’umugore bafise mu bwenge yuko bashobora gutandukana umwanya uwo ari wo wose. Ahubwo riho, abubakanye bararoranirwa igihe bompi bagiraniye indagano kandi bagasenyera ku mugozi umwe mu gutorera umuti ingorane.
Iciyumviro nyamukuru: Umugabo n’umugore bahitamwo kubana batanditse, baba vy’ukuri bariko bitegurira gutandukana aho kwitegurira kwandikisha umubano.
Ico Bibiliya ivuga: «Ico umuntu abiba cose [ni] co nyene azokwimbura.»—Abagalatiya 6:7.
Kubana mutanditse vyoba bizobafasha kuziganya amahera?
Bamwe ni ko babibona. Ikigo kimwe c’ubushakashatsi (A Pew Research Center) caragize amatohoza gisanga mu bantu cumi babana batanditse muri Leta zunze ubumwe za Amerika, bane muri bo babigira kugira baziganye amahera. Ariko rero, benshi muri abo bagizweko amatohoza bavuga ko n’ubu batarubakana biciye mu mategeko kubera ko batararonka amahera akwiye.
Kubana mutanditse birafise izindi ngaruka, canecane ku bakenyezi. Nk’akarorero, iyo ubucuti buhagaze, usanga kenshi abagore ari bo baca barerana abana.
Iciyumviro nyamukuru: Ingaruka zibabaje zo kubana mutanditse zirashobora kuba nyinshi kuruta ivyiza mwibaza ko mwohakura.
Ico Bibiliya ivuga: «Jewe Yehova ndi Imana yawe, Umwe akwigisha ibikugirira akamaro.»—Yesaya 48:17.
Kubana mutanditse vyoba bizotuma wirinda kwubakana n’umuntu atabereye?
Bamwe ni ko babibona. Yamara igitabu kimwe (Fighting for Your Marriage) kivuga giti: «Abantu babana batanditse akenshi ntibatahura ko bigoye guhagarika ubwo bucuti bamaze kubana.» Uti kubera iki? Abantu bamwebamwe babana batanditse boshobora kubona ko hari ibintu vyinshi badahurizako. Ariko kubera ko haba hari ibintu vyinshi basangiye, nk’ibitungwa, amasezerano yo gupanga inzu canke kwibungenga bitari mu migambi, abashakashatsi bavuga ko baca bapfa kubana kubera ata kundi bari bubigenze. b Ca gitabu kibandanya giti: «Abantu bamwebamwe bafashe ingingo yo gutandukana imbere y’uko bandikwa, basanze amaherezo baruhira kwandikisha umubano kubera baba babona yuko ari vyo vyoborohereza.»
Iciyumviro nyamukuru: Igihe ubana n’umuntu mutanditse, ntibigufasha gufata ingingo nziza, ahubwo riho bica bigorana ko muvana naho uba ubona ko atabereye.
Ico Bibiliya ivuga: «Umunyabwenge arihisha abonye akaga kaje, ariko ibijuju birabandanya inzira maze bikibonerako.»—Imigani 22:3.
Hoba hari iyindi ngingo nziza wofata?
Urashobora kwirinda ingorane ziva ku kubana mutanditse maze bikazotuma ugira umubano uhimbaye. None wobigenza gute? Mu gukurikiza udaca ku ruhande impanuro zo muri Bibiliya zijanye n’umubano. Nufate umwanya ukwiye wo gusuzuma umuntu wipfuza ko mwubakana imbere y’uko mubana nk’umugabo n’umugore. Biraba vyiza uhisemwo uwo muzokwubakana atari kubera gusa agukwegera mu vy’igitsina ariko kandi kubera ko hari ivyo muhurizako be n’uko musangiye ukwemera.
Bibiliya irimwo impanuro zogufasha kuzogira umubano mwiza. c Nk’akarorero, Bibiliya irimwo impanuro zishobora kugufasha . . .
kwirinda guhemukira uwo mwubakanye
gutsimbataza kamere zogufasha kuba umugabo canke umugore mwiza
kubona ibimenyetso vyerekana ko uwo mukundanye atabereye imbere y’uko mwubakana
Kugira umenye vyinshi ku bijanye n’ibi vyiyumviro, nurabe igice kivuga ngo «Ingo n’imiryango» co kuri jw.org.
Ico Bibiliya ivuga: «Ivyanditswe vyose vyahumetswe n’Imana kandi ni ngirakamaro mu kwigisha.»—2 Timoteyo 3:16.
a Raba ikiganiro kivuga ngo «Gukundana n’umuntu yoba ari yo mvo yotuma muryamana mutarubakana?» (mu gifaransa)
b Vyakuwe mu kiganiro kivuga ngo «Sliding Versus Deciding: Inertia and the Premarital Cohabitation Effect,» canditswe na Scott M. Stanley, Galena Kline Rhoades hamwe na Howard J. Markman, mu kinyamakuru Family Relations.
c Mu mico imwimwe, biramenyerewe ko abavyeyi bafasha abana babo guhitamwo abo bazokwubakana. Nimba ari ukwo vyifashe, Bibiliya yoshobora gufasha abavyeyi kumenya kamere bofatirako mu guhitiramwo umwana wabo uwo bazokwubakana.