IKIGANIRO GIHUYE N’IBIRI KU GIPFUKISHO
Ingene ukwiye kubona amahera
ABANTU bakunda kwivugira ngo “vyose ni amahera.” Ayo majambo arimwo ukuri. Nakare, bisaba amahera kugira umuntu aronke ibifungurwa, ivyambarwa, arihe inzu canke ayigure. Umwanditsi umwe w’ivy’ubutunzi yavuze ati: “Abantu barakenera cane amahera. Hamwe amahera yohagarikwa gukoreshwa, mu kwezi kumwe gusa hoba hamaze kuba akajagari n’indwano.”
Ariko ntiwumve, amahera hariho ivyo adashobora kuturonsa. Umwanditsi w’ivyese wo muri Norveje yitwa Arne Garborg yavuze ko ufise amahera ushobora “kugura ibifungurwa ariko ntiwogura akayabagu; kugura imiti ariko ntiwogura amagara; kugura igitanda ciza ariko ntiwogura itiro; kuronka ubumenyi ariko ntiworonka ubukerebutsi; kugura ivyo kwisiga ariko ntiwogura ubwiza; kuboneka neza ariko ntiwogura igikundiro; kwinezereza ariko ntiwogura umunezero; kuronka abagenzi ariko ntiwogura abagenzi nyakuri; kugira abasuku ariko ntiwogura ubwizigirwa.”
Igihe umuntu abona amahera mu buryo bwiza, akayabona gusa ko ari uburyo bwo kwironsa ivyo akeneye, vyomufasha kubumbwa n’ivyo afise. Bibiliya itubwira ko ‘urukundo rw’amahera ari umuzi w’ibibi vy’ubwoko bwose, kandi ko mu kurondera gushikira urwo rukundo bamwe bitobekeranishije hose imibabaro myinshi.’
Urabona ko urukundo rw’amahera ari rwo rutera ingorane atari amahera ubwayo. Gukunda amahera cane birashobora guteranya incuti n’abagenzi. Raba uburorero bumwebumwe.
* “Umugenzi wanje Thomas namye ndamubona nk’umuntu ameze neza kandi atabesha. Nta ngorane n’imwe twari bwagiranire imbere y’uko agura umuduga nahora nkoresha. Sinari nzi ko uwo muduga ufise ingorane. Ariko twarandikiraniye aremera ko awuguze uko umeze. Haciye amezi atatu uwo muduga waragize ingorane. Thomas yiyumviriye ko namuhenze aca avuga ashimitse kandi ashavuye ko nkwiye kumusubiza amahera yiwe. Vyarambabaje cane! Igihe nagerageza kumusigurira, yaciye atwarwa n’ishavu. Igihe twagiranira ingorane y’amahera, Thomas yarahindutse ndamuyoberwa.”
Daniel:Esin: “Jewe na Nesrim tuvukana turi babiri gusa. Kuva kera twamye twumvikana. Sinigeze rero nibaza ko ubucuti bwacu bwokwononwa n’amahera. Ariko ivyo ni vyo vyabaye. Igihe abavyeyi bacu bapfa, baradusigiye ibisigi bikeyi kandi bari baratwandikiye ko amahera tuzoyagabura tukanganya. Mwene wacu yashaka kubirengako aca asaba ko yoronka ayarenze ayo bamwandikiye. Kubera ko nahisemwo kwubahiriza ubuyobozi bw’abavyeyi bacu, yaciye ashangashirwa atangura kuntera ubwoba. Gushika n’ubu aracamfitiye ishavu.”
AMAHERA NO KUNEGURA ABANDI
Kubona amahera ukutari kwo birashobora gutuma abantu banegura abandi. Nk’akarorero, umutunzi yoshobora kubona ko umukene akenye kubera ubunebwe. Umukene na we yoshobora guca yiyumvira ko abatunzi ari abanyamwina canke bakunda amaronko. Umwigeme yitwa Leanne ava mu muryango wifise yarashikiwe n’ikintu nk’ico. Yigana ati:
Impanuro Bibiliya itanga ku bijanye n’amahera n’ubu ziracafise akamaro
“Abantu bari bazi ko dawe afise amahera menshi. Rero barakunda kumbwira ngo: ‘Weho sha ico ushaka cose ugisavye so uca ukironka’ canke ngo ‘Erega twese ntidushoboye kugura imiduga myizamyiza nkamwe.’ Amaherezo narasavye abagenzi banje kureka kumbwira ayo majambo ndabasigurira igituma ambabaza. Nashaka ko bambona nk’umuntu akorera ivyiza abandi aho kumbona nk’umuntu afise amahera menshi.”
IVYO BIBILIYA IVUGA
Bibiliya ntivuga nabi amahera canke abayafise, mbere n’abafise menshi. Igihambaye si ukuntu amahera umuntu afise angana ahubwo ni ukuntu abona ivyo afise n’ivyo yipfuza kuronka. Impanuro Bibiliya itanga ku bijanye n’amahera ntizirimwo ukurenza urugero kandi n’ubu ziracafise akamaro. Raba ubu burorero.
BIBILIYA IVUGA ITI: “Ntucumukure kugira uronke ubutunzi.”
Igitabu kimwe (The Narcissism Epidemic) kivuga ko abantu biruka inyuma y’ubutunzi bishoboka cane ko “amagara yabo yo mu mutwe abangamirwa, bagashikirwa n’izindi ndwara nko kubabara umuhogo, umugongo be no kumeneka umutwe kandi usanga bishoboka cane ko banywa inzoga nyinshi n’ibiyayuramutwe. Biboneka ko kurondera gutunga vyanka vyakunda bituma umuntu aba umurushwa.”
BIBILIYA IVUGA ITI: “Uburyo bwanyu bwo kubaho ntibubemwo urukundo rw’amahera, mu gihe mubumbwa n’ibintu vy’iki gihe.”Umuntu abumbwa n’ivyo afise ntibisobanura ko adahagarika umutima ku bijanye n’amahera; ariko aba azi ukuntu avyifatamwo igihe bimushikiye. Nk’akarorero, uwo muntu ntaca ata umutwe igihe ivy’ubutunzi bitifashe neza. Ahubwo arihatira kubona ibintu nk’uko intumwa Paulo yabibona, uwanditse ati: “Ndazi kugira bike, nkamenya no kugira umurengera. Muri vyose, kandi uko ibintu biba vyifashe kwose, narize akabanga ko guhaga no gusonza, ko kugira umurengera no gukena.”
BIBILIYA IVUGA ITI: “Uwizigira ubutunzi bwiwe . . . azogwa.”
Abashakashatsi bavuga ko amahera ari mu bitera ingorane mu mibano bigatuma isambuka. Ingorane zijanye n’amahera ziri no mu bituma abantu biyahura. Abantu bamwebamwe babona ko amahera ahambaye kuruta umubano wabo mbere n’ubuzima bwabo! Ariko ababona ibintu mu buryo bwiza ntibashira umutima wabo wose ku mahera. Ahubwo baremera amajambo Yezu yavuze agira ati: “No mu gihe umuntu afise umurengera, ubuzima bwiwe ntibuva ku bintu atunze.”
WEWE UBONA GUTE AMAHERA?
Wisuzumye woshobora kubona ivyo ukeneye guhindura kugira ubone amahera mu buryo bwiza. Nk’akarorero, niwibaze uti:
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Noba ntwarwa n’imigambi yo kurondera ubutunzi vyanka vyakunda?
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Vyoba bingora gutanga?
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Noba niyegereza cane abantu baguma bavuga ibijanye n’amahera be n’ivyo batunze?
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Noba mpora mbesha canke nkoresha ayandi manyanga kugira nironkere amahera?
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Amahera yoba atuma numva ko mpambaye?
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Noba nguma niyumvira amahera?
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Ukuntu mbona amahera vyoba bigira ingaruka ku magara yanje no ku muryango wanje?
Nugaragaze umutima mwiza mu gufasha abandi
Nimba muri ivyo bibazo hari ico wishuye ngo ego, nugire akigoro ko kurwanya ivyiyumviro be n’ibintu vyotuma uhahamira amaronko. Niwirinde kugira abagenzi bakunda cane amahera canke ibintu. Ahubwo nugiranire ubucuti n’abantu badaha agaciro kanini ibintu ahubwo bitaho inyifato runtu.
Ntiwigere ureka ngo urukundo rw’amahera rushinge imizi mu mutima wawe. Ahubwo nuyagumize mu kibanza cayo, wame ubona ko abagenzi, umuryango n’amagara yawe ari vyo bihambaye. Niwabigenza gutyo uzoba werekanye ko ubona amahera mu buryo bwiza.
^ ing. 7 Muri iki kiganiro, bamwebamwe si ko basanzwe bitwa kubera ko bitashimwe ko bamenyekana.