Mu bihe nk’ivyo, ishengero rikwiye kubona ko umubano wa mbere wahagaze be n’uko uwo mubano mushasha wemewe. Kugira dutahure imvo zatumye dushika kuri ico ciyumviro, nimuze turabe ivyo Yezu yavuze ku bijanye no kwahukana be no gusubira kwubaka.

Twisunze Matayo 19:9, Yezu yavuze ikintu kimwe gusa gishingiye ku Vyanditswe cotuma umubano uhagarara. Yavuze ati: “Uwo wese yirukana umugore wiwe atamuhoye ubusambanyi akarongora uwundi, aba arenze ibigo.” Twisunze ivyo Yezu yavuze, turabona ko (1) ukurenga ibigo ari yo mvo yonyene ishingiye ku Vyanditswe yotuma abubakanye bahukana (2) ko iyo umugabo yahukanye n’umugore wiwe ata mvo ishingiye ku Vyanditswe ihari maze akubakana n’uwundi aba arenze ibigo. *

Ayo majambo Yezu yavuze, yoba yerekana ko umugabo yarenze ibigo maze akahukana n’umugore wiwe, aba arekuriwe n’Ivyanditswe kwubakana n’uwundi? Si ngombwa. Igihe umugabo yarenze ibigo, umugore yahemukiye arashobora gufata ingingo yo kumubabarira canke kutamubabarira. Iyo afashe ingingo yo kutamubabarira maze bakahukana biciye mu mategeko, umwe wese muri bo aba afise uburenganzira bwo gusubira kwubakana n’uwundi muntu.

Ku rundi ruhande, umugore yahemukiwe yoshobora kuba yipfuza cane kugumana n’umugabo wiwe maze agaca amubwira ko amubabariye. Ariko none, vyogenda gute hamwe uwo mugabo yarenze ibigo yokwanka ko umugore wiwe amubabarira maze akahukana biciye mu mategeko ariko umugore wiwe atabishigikiye? Kubera yuko uwo mugore aba yiteguriye kumubabarira bakaguma bubakanye, uwo mugabo nta burenganzira yoba afise bushingiye ku Vyanditswe bwo gusubira kwubakana n’uwundi muntu. Igihe uwo mugabo yiyemeje kuguma muri iyo ngendo maze akubakana n’uwundi kandi Ivyanditswe bitabimurekurira, aba yongeye kurenga ibigo, ivyo bikaba vyotuma asubira gushingirwa komite ncarubanza.​—1 Kor. 5:1, 2; 6:9, 10.

None igihe umugabo yubakanye n’uwundi mugore kandi atabirekuriwe n’Ivyanditswe, ishengero rikwiye kubona gute umubano wa mbere be n’uwo wundi mushasha? Twisunze Ivyanditswe, umubano wa mbere woba uguma wemewe? Umugore yahemukiwe, yoba agishobora gufata ingingo yo kubabarira uwahoze ari umugabo wiwe canke kutamubabarira? Uwo mubano mushasha woba ukwiye gufatwa ko ari umubano w’ubusambanyi?

Muri kahise, ishengero ryafata uwo mubano mushasha nk’uw’ubusambanyi igihe cose uwahemukiwe yaba akiri muzima, atarasubira kwubaka canke ngo akore ubusambanyi. Ariko rero, igihe Yezu yavuga ibijanye no kwahukana be no gusubira kwubaka, ntiyacishijemwo ivy’uwahemukiwe. Ahubwo, yasiguye ko umugabo yahukana n’umugore wiwe ata mvo ishingiye ku Vyanditswe ihari  maze akubakana n’uwundi, aba arenze ibigo. Ico gihe, ukwo kwahukana be no gusubira kwubaka, ivyo Yezu yavuze ko ari ukurenga ibigo, biba bihagaritse umubano wa mbere.

Igihe rero umugabo yahukanye n’umugore wiwe maze akubakana n’uwundi bigatuma umubano wa mbere uhagarara, ntibiba bigishoboka ko uwo mugore yahemukiwe amubabarira canke atamubabarira. Uwo mugore rero, ntakwiye guhagarika umutima yiyumvira kubabarira uwahoze ari umugabo wiwe canke kutamubabarira. Ukuntu ishengero ribona uwo mubano mushasha, ntibikwiye gushingira ku kuba uwahemukiwe akiriho, atarubaka, canke atarakora ubusambanyi. *

Muri ako karorero twarimbuye, umugabo yararenze ibigo bica bituma bahukana. Bite hoho iyo uwo mugabo atarenga ibigo, mugabo akahukana n’umugore wiwe maze akubakana n’uwundi mugore? Tuvuge iki hoho, iyo uwo mugabo adakora ubusambanyi imbere y’uko bahukana mugabo akabukora bamaze kwahukana, hanyuma agaca yubakana n’uwundi mugore kandi umugore wa mbere yamubwiye ko amubabariye? Muri ivyo bihe vyompi, ukwo kwahukana be no gusubira kwubakana n’uwundi, na vyo akaba ari ukurenga ibigo, vyotumye umubano wa mbere uhagarara. Uwo mubano mushasha uba wemewe n’amategeko. Nk’uko Umunara w’Inderetsi (mu gifaransa) wo ku wa 15 Ruhuhuma 1980 urupapuro rwa 31 wabivuze, ‘ico gihe umugabo aba yatanguje uwundi mubano mushasha, akaba adashobora gupfa kuwuhagarika ngo asubirane n’umugore wiwe wa mbere. Ukwo kwahukana, ukurenga ibigo be n’ukwo gusubira kwubaka, biba vyarahagaritse uwo mubano wa mbere.’

Kuba duhinduye ukuntu twahora tubitahura, ntibisigura ko umubano utakiri mweranda canke ko dufatiye mu rwara icaha co kurenga ibigo. Umugabo yahukana n’umugore wiwe ata mvo ishingiye ku Vyanditswe ihari, maze akubakana n’uwundi mugore kandi atabirekurirwa n’Ivyanditswe, arakwiye gushingirwa komite ncarubanza ku caha co kurenga ibigo. (Nimba uwo mugore wa kabiri ari umukirisu, na we nyene akwiye gushingirwa komite ncarubanza ku caha co kurenga ibigo.) Naho uwo mubano mushasha udakwiye kubonwa nk’umubano w’ubusambanyi, hoshobora guca imyaka myinshi uwo mugabo atarakwiza ibisabwa vyo guterwa uduteka tudasanzwe mw’ishengero, na ho nyene akazoduterwa ari uko izina ribi yihesheje canke iceyi yiyambitse bimaze kwibagiranwa. Ikindi kintu corabwa imbere y’uko aterwa uduteka, ni ingene umugore yahemukiye be n’abana bato ashobora kuba yarataye bamerewe, be n’uko ivyabo vyifashe muri ico gihe.​—Mal. 2:14-16.

Abakirisu baravye ingaruka zikomeye ziterwa no kwahukana kudashingiye ku Vyanditswe, be no kwubakana n’uwundi mu buryo budahuye n’Ivyanditswe, barakwiye kwigana Yehova mu kuguma babona ko umubano ari mweranda.​—Umus. 5:4, 5; Heb. 13:4.