Twitwararike abageze mu zabukuru
“Bana bato, dukundane, atari mu majambo canke ku karimi, ahubwo mu bikorwa no mu kuri.”—1 YOH. 3:18.
1, 2. (a) Ni ingorane izihe imiryango myinshi igira, kandi ivyo bivyura ibibazo ibihe? (b) Abavyeyi n’abana bashobora gute gutorera umuti ingorane ziterwa n’uko ibintu bihindutse?
BIRASHOBORA kubabaza cane kubona abavyeyi bawe bigeze kuba bakomeye kandi bikwije batagishobora kwibako. Kumbure umuvyeyi yatemvye aravunika mu mafyinga, yataye umutwe maze arazimira canke bamutoye indwara ikomeye. Ariko n’abageze mu zabukuru hari ivyoshobora kubababaza. Vyoshobora kubagora kwemera amahinduka yo ku mubiri canke ibindi bintu vyobashikira bigatuma bataba bacigenga cane. (Yobu 14:1) None hokorwa iki? Bokwitwararikwa gute?
2 Hari ikiganiro kivuga ivy’ukwitwararika abageze mu zabukuru kigira giti: “Naho bigoye kuyaga ibibazo bijanye n’ugusaza, mu gihe umuryango uhanahanye ivyiyumviro maze ukumvikana ku vyokorwa, bizorushiriza kuworohera gutorera umuti ikibazo ico ari co cose kizovyuka.” Turatahura neza agaciro k’ivyo biyago nimba twemera icese ko ingorane ziterwa n’ubusaza zidashobora kwirindwa. Ariko turashobora kugira imyiteguro yinaka maze tugafata ingingo imbere y’igihe. Nimuze twihweze ukuntu abagize imiryango boshobora gufashanya babigiranye urukundo kwitegurira gutorera umuti zimwezimwe muri izo ngorane.
NIMWITEGURIRE “IMISI Y’IVYAGO”
3. Ni igiki abagize umuryango vyoba ngombwa ko bakora igihe abavyeyi bageze mu zabukuru barushirije gukenera gufashwa? (Raba ishusho itangura.)
3 Abageze mu zabukuru benshi barashika aho bataba bagishoboye kwibungabunga, gutyo bagakenera gufashwa. (Soma Umusiguzi 12:1-7.) Igihe ivyo bishitse, bo hamwe n’abana babo bakuze bakwiye kuraba imfashanyo yoba ikenewe iyo ari yo, bagatunganya n’ivyokorwa bihuye n’uburyo boronka. Mu bisanzwe, mu bihe nk’ivyo ni vyiza ko haba inama y’umuryango kugira bayage ukuntu bofashanya, ivyoba bikenewe, n’uburyo butandukanye bokoresha. Abo vyega bose, na canecane abo bavyeyi, bakwiye guserura uko babona ibintu ata guhisha kandi bakavugana ibintu nk’uko biri koko. Boshobora kuvugana nimba abo bavyeyi bashobora kuguma i muhira ata nkomanzi mu gihe borushiriza gufashwa. * Canke boshobora kuraba ico umwumwe wese yokora kugira ngo babungabunge nya muvyeyi. (Imig. 24:6) Nk’akarorero, hari aboba bashoboye kubakorera udukorwa twa misi yose ariko abandi ugasanga icorushiriza kuborohera ari ugufasha mu vy’amahera. Bose bakwiye gutahura ko bari n’uruhara rubega; ariko urwo ruhara rwoshobora guhinduka uko haciye igihe kandi boshobora kuraba ko batoza barahinduranya ibikorwa.
4. Abagize umuryango boronderera he imfashanyo?
4 Igihe utanguye kwitwararika umuvyeyi wawe ageze mu zabukuru, nufate akanya ko kumenya ivyo ushoboye vyose ku kuntu amagara yiwe yifashe. Nimba arwaye indwara izogenda irunyuka, nurondere kumenya ivyo wokwitega ko bizoshika muri kazoza. (Imig. 1:5) Niwiture amashirahamwe ya leta afasha abageze mu zabukuru. Nurondere kumenya ko ata mashirahamwe yoba ashoboye kwitwararika neza uwo muvyeyi canke yotuma urushiriza kworoherwa no kumwitwararika. Amahinduka nk’ayo aba yimirije kuba mu muryango yoshobora gutuma wiyumva nabi, nk’akarorero ukumva intuntu, umubabaro canke ugata umutwe. Nuce witura umugenzi w’umwizigirwa. N’ikiruta vyose, nusukire Yehova ibiri mu mutima wawe. Arashobora kuguha amahoro yo mu mutima ukeneye kugira wihanganire ikintu ico ari co cose.—Zab. 55:22; Imig. 24:10; Flp. 4:6, 7.
5. Kubera iki biranga ubukerebutsi kwegeranya amakuru imbere y’igihe ajanye n’uburyo butandukanye bwo kwitwararika uwugeze mu zabukuru?
5 Abageze mu zabukuru bamwebamwe n’imiryango yabo baragaragaza ubukerebutsi mu kwegeranya imbere y’igihe amakuru ajanye n’uburyo butandukanye bwo kubitwararika, nk’akarorero bakaraba akarusho kohaba mu gihe umuvyeyi yoja kuba ku muhungu wiwe canke umukobwa wiwe, kuba mu bigo vy’ibungabungiro canke akungukira ku bundi buryo buhari. Barabonye “ivyago n’ibibi” vyoshobora gushika maze baravyitegurira. (Zab. 90:10) Imiryango myinshi usanga ititegura, igaca rero ibwirizwa gufata gihutihuti ingingo zigoye iyo hadutse ingorane. Umuhinga umwe avuga ko ico “gihakwa kwama ari co gihe kibi rwose co gufata ingingo nk’iyo.” Muri ico gihe aho ibintu biba bikomeye, abagize umuryango boshobora kuranda imitsi, n’amatati agashobora kwaduka. Ariko duteguye ibintu imbere y’igihe, amahinduka azoba muri kazoza ntazodutesha umutwe cane.—Imig. 20:18.
6. Kuyaga ibijanye n’aho abavyeyi bageze mu zabukuru boba bishobora gute kugirira akamaro abavyeyi n’abana?
6 Hari aho wobona umengo biragoye kuyaga n’abavyeyi bawe ibijanye n’uko hogira ibihindurwa mu nzu babamwo be n’uko umusi uri izina vyokenerwa ko bimuka. Yamara benshi baravuze ko ivyo biyago vyabafashije mu nyuma. Kubera iki? Kubera ko vyatumye bashobora gutegekanya ibintu imbere y’igihe mu bumwe no mu mwumvikano. Basanze guhanahana ivyiyumviro imbere y’igihe mu buryo buranga urukundo n’ubuntu bituma ingingo zirushiriza kworoha igihe bibaye ngombwa ko zifatwa. Mbere n’igihe abageze mu zabukuru bashaka kwibana no kwifatira mu minwe ivyabo igihe kirekire gishoboka, kuyaga n’abana babo ukuntu boshima ko babitwararika biramutse bibaye ngombwa, biravamwo ivyiza.
7, 8. Abagize umuryango vyoba vyiza baganiriye ku biki, kandi kubera iki?
7 Bavyeyi, mu gihe c’ibiyago nk’ivyo, nimumenyeshe umuryango wanyu ivyo mwipfuza, uburyo mufise be n’ukuntu mwoshima ko babitwararika. Ivyo bizotuma bashobora gufata ingingo zibereye nimwashika aho mutaba mugishoboye kuzifatira. Birashoboka ko bazoshima kwubahiriza ivyipfuzo vyanyu bakabareka mukigenga uko bishoboka kwose. (Ef. 6:2-4) Nk’akarorero, woba witeze ko umwe mu bana bawe agusaba ngo uje kuba iwe canke witeze ikindi kintu? Nubone ibintu nk’uko biri koko kandi umenye ko bose badashobora kubona ibintu nk’uko ubibona be n’uko umuntu wese, yaba umuvyeyi canke umwana, bisaba umwanya kugira ahindure ivyiyumviro.
8 Bose bakwiye gutahura ko igihe ibintu biteguwe imbere y’igihe kandi hakaba ukuganira, bishobora gukinga ingorane. (Imig. 15:22) Nimuganire kandi ibijanye n’ukuvurwa be n’ivyo mushima. Mu gihe c’ivyo biyago, murakwiye kuganira ku biri muri rwa Rwandiko ntabanduka rujanye n’ivy’ukuvurwa rukoreshwa n’Ivyabona vya Yehova. Umwe wese arafise uburenganzira bwo kumenyeshwa ivyerekeye uburyo bwoba bugomba gukoreshwa mu kumuvura, kubwemera, canke kubuhakana. Agakarata k’amabwirizwa y’ivy’ubuvuzi karerekana ivyo umuntu aba yipfuza mu bijanye n’ukuvurwa. Guhitamwo uwokuvugira mu gihe utagishoboye kwivugira (aho bishoboka kandi vyemewe) vyotuma ubaho uzi neza ko hari umuntu w’umwizigirwa azofata ingingo zibereye nivyakenerwa. Vyoba vyiza abo vyega babaye bafise amakopi y’inzandiko zihambaye hamwe zokenerwa. Hari abashize mwene izo nzandiko hamwe n’ivyete vyabo vy’iragi be n’izindi nzandiko zihambaye z’ivya asiransi, ivya banki, ivyo bafitiye uburenganzira muri leta, n’ibindi.
IGIHE IBINTU BIHINDUTSE
9, 10. Ni amahinduka ayahe yoshikira uwugeze mu zabukuru bigakenerwa ko afashwa?
9 Akenshi abavyeyi n’abana bahitamwo kureka abo bageze mu zabukuru bakaguma bafise ukwigenga kwinshi mu gihe babishoboye. Hari aho usanga baba bashoboye guteka, kugira isuku, kwivuza no kuyaga ata ngorane. Barasubiriza rero umutima mu nda abana babo ko badakwiye kwitwararika birenze ubuzima bwabo bwa misi yose. Ariko rero, uko igihe kihaca, nimba abavyeyi bisigaye bibagora kugendagenda, kumbure bakaba batagishoboye kuja gusuma canke bakaba batanguye kuza baribagira cane, abana boshobora guca bahaseruka.
10 Kuvurunganirwa, kugira akabonge, kwitabarako, kuba umuntu atacumva, guhuma no kuza aribagira vyoshobora guterwa n’ubusaza; ariko igihe zimwezimwe muri izo ngorane z’amagara zibonetse, zoshobora kuvurwa neza. Hagize zimwe muri izo zigaragaza, nimuce mumujana kwa muganga. Vyokenerwa ko abana bafata iya mbere muri ivyo. N’ikindi kandi, hogera aho abana ari bo batangura gukora ibintu abavyeyi babo bahora bashoboye kwikorera. Kugira ngo abavyeyi bitwararikwe mu buryo bwiza bushoboka, hari aho vyoba ngombwa ko abana bababera abavugizi, abanyamabanga, abashoferi, n’ibindi.—Imig. 3:27.
11. Hokorwa iki kugira ngo abavyeyi barushirize kworoherwa no kwemera amahinduka?
11 Nimba ingorane abavyeyi bawe bafise zidashobora gutorerwa umuti, hari aho vyokenerwa ko hagira ibihinduwe ku kuntu bitwararikwa canke aho boba. Uko amahinduka aba make ni ko bizorushiriza kuborohera kuyemera. Nimba muba kure y’abavyeyi banyu, vyoba vyoshobora kuba bihagije hagize Icabona mugenzi wanyu canke umubanyi aza araca imuhira iwabo maze akamenyesha umwe mu bana ukuntu bamerewe? Boba basaba gusa gufashwa mu bijanye no guteka no kugira isuku? Hamwe hogira ibintu bikeyi bihinduwe mu nzu babamwo, vyoba vyotuma barushiriza kworoherwa no kugendagenda, kwiyoga no gukora n’ibindi kandi bikarushiriza kutabamwo akaga? Hari aho ico abageze mu zabukuru baba gusa bakeneye kugira bagume bafise ku rugero runaka ukwigenga bipfuza ari umukozi wo mu nzu. Ariko rero, nimba kwibana vyobamwo akaga, vyokenerwa ko barushiriza kuguma bafashwa. Uko ibintu vyoba vyifashe kwose, nimurondere kumenya ko ata nzego zijejwe gufasha abatishoboye ziriho mu karere babamwo. *—Soma Imigani 21:5.
UKO BAMWEBAMWE BABIGENZA
12, 13. Abana bakuze baba kure y’abavyeyi babo babigenza gute kugira babandanye kubatera iteka no kubitwararika?
12 Kubera ko abana bakunda abavyeyi babo, baripfuza ko babaho bamerewe neza. Kumenya ko abavyeyi bitwararitswe biratuma abana bagira amahoro yo mu muzirikanyi ku rugero runaka. Ariko rero, abana bakuze benshi usanga hari ayandi mabanga bajejwe, bigatuma bataba hafi y’abavyeyi. Mu bihe nk’ivyo, hari abakoresha umwanya w’akaruhuko bakaja kubaraba maze bakabafasha mu vyo bakeneye, bagakora udukorwa abo bavyeyi batagishobora gukora. Kwama babaterefona, mbere ku musi ku musi nimba bishoboka, bakaza barabarungikira udukete canke ubutumwa biciye kuri Internet birasubiriza umutima mu nda abo bavyeyi ko bakundwa.—Imig. 23:24, 25.
13 Uko ibintu vyoba vyifashe kwose, urakeneye gusuzuma ukaraba ivyo abavyeyi bawe bakeneye kwitwararikwamwo ku musi ku musi. Nimba utaba hafi yabo kandi bakaba ari Ivyabona, woshobora kuvugana n’abakurambere bo mw’ishengero barimwo, ukabasaba bakakugira inama. Vyongeye, ntureke gushira ico kibazo mu masengesho utura. (Soma Imigani 11:14.) Naho abavyeyi bawe batoba ari Ivyabona, urakwiye “[gutera] iteka so na nyoko.” (Kuv. 20:12; Imig. 23:22) Mu vy’ukuri, si imiryango yose ifata ingingo nk’izo. Hari abatunganya ivy’uko umuvyeyi ageze mu zabukuru yimuka akaja kubana na bo canke akaba hafi yabo. Ariko rero, ivyo ntivyama bishoboka. Abavyeyi bamwebamwe ntibashima kubana n’abana babo bakuze n’imiryango yabo. Bashima kwibana kandi ntibipfuza kubabera umutwaro. Bamwebamwe boshobora kuba bifitiye uburyo bwo kuriha ibijanye no kubitwararika bari i muhira iwabo kandi ugasanga ni vyo boshima.—Umus. 7:12.
14. Ni ingorane izihe abarangura uruhara runini rwo kwitwararika abavyeyi bageze mu zabukuru boshobora kugira?
14 Mu miryango myinshi, vyinshi mu bikorwa bijanye no kwitwararika abavyeyi bageze mu zabukuru usanga bigwa ku mwana umwe, uwuba hafi yabo. Yamara, abarangura uruhara runini rwo kubitwararika barakwiye kugira uburimbane hagati y’ivyo abo bavyeyi bakeneye n’ivyo imiryango yabo bwite ikeneye. Umuntu wese arafise aho agarukiriza mu bijanye n’umwanya be n’inguvu akoresha. N’ikindi kandi, ukuntu ivyo uwitwararika abo bavyeyi vyifashe kurashobora guhinduka, bigaca biba nkenerwa ko indinganizo zari zihari zisubirwamwo. Umwe mu bagize uwo muryango yoba kumbure arangura amabanga menshi birenze? Abandi bana boba bashobora gukora n’ibindi, kumbure bakaza barakurakuranwa mu kubungabunga abo bavyeyi?
15. Twokwirinda gute ngo umuntu ntasanzare mu kwitwararika umuvyeyi ageze mu zabukuru?
15 Igihe umuvyeyi ageze mu zabukuru yama ari n’ivyo akeneye, uwumwitwararika arahakwa gusanzara. (Umus. 4:6) Abana bafise urukundo baripfuza gukorera abavyeyi babo ivyo bashoboye vyose, mugabo igihe abo bavyeyi bama bariko barasaba ibintu, vyoshobora gutuma abo bana barengerwa. Abitwararika abavyeyi bageze mu zabukuru igihe ivyabo vyifashe gutyo, baba bakeneye gukora ibitegereka, kumbure bagasaba gufashwa. Hashobora kuba hakenewe gusa ko baza barabafasha uko haciye igihe kugira ngo birinde kwitura hakiri kare ikigo c’ibungabungiro.
16, 17. Ni ingorane izihe abana boshobora kugira igihe bariko barabungabunga abavyeyi bageze mu zabukuru, kandi bashobora kuvyifatamwo gute? (Raba kandi uruzitiro ruvuga ngo “Barababungabunga ku bwo kubakengurukira.”)
16 Ntibihimbaye kubona ingaruka zibabaje z’ubusaza ziriko zirashikira abavyeyi twikundira. Benshi mu babungabunga abavyeyi bageze mu zabukuru birashika bakagira intuntu, amaganya, umubabaro, ishavu, ukwiyagiriza eka mbere n’inzika. Rimwe na rimwe, umuvyeyi ageze mu zabukuru yoshobora kuvuga ibintu bibabaza canke ntagaragaze ugukenguruka. Ivyo bishitse, ntuce wihutira gushavura. Umuhinga umwe mu bijanye n’amagara yo mu mutwe avuga ati: “Uburyo bwiza kuruta ubundi bwo kwihanganira inyiyumvo iyo ari yo yose, na canecane iyikubabaza, ni ukwemera ko uyifise. Niwirinde guhakana ko ufise iyo nyiyumvo canke guca witako umwikomo kubera ko wiyumva gutyo.” Nuyage n’uwo mwubakanye, uwundi muntu wo mu muryango, canke umugenzi wizigira ibijanye n’ukuntu wiyumva. Ibiyago nk’ivyo birashobora kugufasha gutahura inyiyumvo zawe ukabona ibintu mu buryo bwiza.
17 Hoshobora gushika aho umuryango utaba ugishoboye kubandanya kubungabungira i muhira uwabo. Vyoshobora kuba ngombwa ko ajanwa mu kigo c’ibungabungiro. Hari mushiki wacu yaja kuraba nyina wiwe mu kigo c’ibungabungiro imisi nka yose. Ku bijanye n’umuryango wiwe avuga ati: “Ntitwari dushoboye kubungabunga mawe amasaha 24 kuri 24 nk’uko yari abikeneye. Kwemera kuja mu kigo c’ibungabungiro ni ingingo itamworoheye gufata. Vyaramubabaje cane. Ariko rero, ni yo ngingo yari nziza kuruta izindi zose narirya yari mu mezi ya nyuma y’ubuzima bwiwe, kandi yarayemeye.”
18. Ni igiki abitwararika abavyeyi babo bageze mu zabukuru bashobora kwemera badakekeranya?
18 Amabanga ajanye no kwitwararika abavyeyi bawe uko biterera mu myaka arashobora kugorana kandi akaruhisha mu mutima. Nta rutonde ruhari rw’ibintu bibereye vyokorwa ku bijanye no kubungabunga abageze mu zabukuru. Yamara, mwiteguye neza, mugafashanya mu buryo bwerekana ko mwiyumvirana, mukongera mukayaga, n’ikiruta vyose mugatura isengesho rivuye ku mutima, murashobora kurangura amabanga mujejwe yo gutera iteka abanyu. Mubigenjeje gutyo, murashobora guhimbarwa no kumenya yuko bariko baritwararikwa nk’uko babikeneye. (Soma 1 Abakorinto 13:4-8.) N’igihambaye kuruta, murashobora kwemera mudakekeranya ko muzogira amahoro yo mu mutima Yehova aha abatera iteka abavyeyi babo.—Flp. 4:7.
^ par. 3 Ibishimisha abavyeyi n’abana vyoshobora kuvana n’imico kama y’aho baba. Mu turere tumwetumwe, ni ibisanzwe ko abagize umuryango bo mu mayaruka atandukanye baba hamwe canke bakama bavugana canke babonana. Hari n’aho mbere usanga ari vyo bashima.
^ par. 11 Nimba umuvyeyi wawe ageze mu zabukuru akiba i muhira, niwiyemeze neza yuko hari abamwitwararika b’abizigirwa bafise imfunguruzo zizotuma binjira bagashika aho ari mu gihe agize ingorane isaba ko atabarwa vyihuta.