IKIGABANE CA 5

Nokwifata gute umuvyeyi yubakanye n’uwundi?

UMUVYEYI wawe ashobora kuba aryohewe cane ku musi yubakana n’uwundi muntu, ariko weho ukaba wumva ata munezero na mukeyi ufise! Kubera iki? Igihe umuvyeyi wawe yubakanye n’uwundi, ikizigizigi c’uko umusi uri izina abavyeyi bakwibarutse bazosubira kubana kiba giheze. Ku rundi ruhande, birashobora kukubabaza rwose igihe bibaye haciye igihe gito gusa umuvyeyi wikundira apfuye.

Wumvise umerewe gute igihe umuvyeyi wawe yubakana n’uwundi muntu? Muri ibi bintu bikurikira, shira aka kamenyetso ✔ iruhande y’ibihuye n’ukuntu wumvise umerewe.

Numvise . . .

□ Nezerewe

□ Ntatekaniwe

□ Mpemukiwe

□ Nshavuriye uwo bubakanye

□ Mpemutse kubera natanguye kwumva nkunze uwo bubakanye

Ico kintu ca nyuma coshobora guterwa n’ukuba utipfuza guhemukira umuvyeyi wawe mutakiri kumwe. Vyaba bitumwe  n’iki, kwiyumva muri ubwo buryo duhejeje kuvuga vyoshobora gutuma userura mu buryo butabereye umubabaro ufise mu mutima.

Nk’akarorero, woshobora kwama ubuza amahoro nya muntu yubakanye n’umuvyeyi wawe. Woshobora mbere kugerageza kubacanishamwo urondera ko bavana. Ariko rero, hari umugani w’ubukerebutsi ugabisha uti: “[Uwu]tera urugo rwiwe imivurungano azoronka umuyaga kw iragi,” ni ukuvuga ko ata co azoshikako. (Imigani 11:29, Bibiliya Yera) Si ngombwa ngo ugwe muri uwo mutego. Urashobora kwihanganira mu buryo burushirije kuba bwiza umubabaro ufise mu mutima. Raba uturorero dukeyi.

Ingorane ya 1: Kwemera ubukuru bw’umuvyeyi atakuvyaye

Gutegekwa n’uwundi muvyeyi si icoroshe. Igihe agusavye gukora ikintu kinaka, hari aho wokwumva umengo woca umwishura uti: ‘Erega si wewe wamvyaye!’ Inyishu nk’iyo yoshobora gutuma uca wumva ko wimaze ishavu, mugabo yoba yerekana ko utarakura.

Ariko rero, kwemera gutegekwa n’umuvyeyi atakuvyaye ni uburyo bumwe bwo kwerekana ko wakurikije impanuro ya Bibiliya igusaba ‘kutaba umwana mu bwenge.’ (1 Abakorinto 14:20, Bibiliya Yera) Mu vy’ukuri, uwo yubakanye n’umuvyeyi wawe arangura amabanga umuvyeyi wese arangura, kandi urakwiye kumwubaha.—Imigani 1:8; Abanyefeso 6:1-4.

Igihe agutoje indero, akenshi biba vyerekana ko agukunda be n’uko akwitwararika. (Imigani 13:24) Umwigeme w’imyaka 18 yitwa Ivona avuga ati: “Umugabo wa mawe aradutoza indero, kandi ivyo ni vyo vyitezwe kuri ba sebibondo bose. Hamwe noshavuzwa n’impanuro aduha, ni nk’aho noba mvuze yuko ivyo amaze imyaka n’iyindi aturonsa mu vy’umubiri no mu vy’Imana ata co bimaze. Kandi noba mbaye intashima.”

Yamara rero, woshobora kuba ufise imvo zumvikana zo kwidoga. Nimba ari ukwo, niwerekane ko ‘utakiri umwana’ mu  gukora nk’uko mu Bakolosayi 3:13 haguhimiriza hati: “Mubandanye kwihanganirana no kubabarirana ata gahigihigi iyo hari uwufise ico yidogera uwundi.”

Andika aha munsi kamere nziza zibiri canke zirenga mukaso (canke umugabo wa nyoko wawe) afise.

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Kwibuka kamere nziza afise vyogufasha gute kurushiriza kumwubaha?

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Ingorane ya 2: Kwiga gusabikanya n’abandi no kwemera kugira ivyo uhevye

Uwitwa Aroni w’imyaka 24 avuga ati: “Papa yahavuye asubira kwubaka kabiri kose. Vyarangoye kwiyumvamwo umwumwe wose muri iyo miryango ibiri mishasha. Mu ntango nababona nk’ivyaduka, ariko naguma mbwirwa ko ata kundi, ntegerezwa kubakunda. Ivyo bintu vyaramvuruze umutwe.”

Na wewe woshobora kugira ingorane zitoroshe. Nk’akarorero, hari aho wobwirizwa guheba agateka wari ufise ko kuba imfura canke umwana w’ikinege. Nimba uri umuhungu, ushobora kuba wari umaze igihe kirekire wiyumvamwo ko uri nka serugo, ubu ico kibanza kikaba kirimwo so wawe mushasha. Canke ushobora kuba wiyumva nka Ivona, uno akaba avuga ati: “Papa amvyara ntiyigera yitaho mama; rero, nari menyereye kumwihariza. Mugabo aho mama yubakaniye n’uwundi mugabo, uwo mugabo yaramwitaho cane. Baramarana umwanya, bakaganira, nkaba rero nabona ko ariko aramunsahura. Ariko nahavuye nshobora guhindura ukuntu mbona ibintu.”

Nk’ukwo kwa Ivona, ushobora gute guhindura ukuntu ubona ibintu?  Bibiliya itubwira iti: “Ukugira ibitegereka kwanyu kumenyekane ku bantu bose.” (Abafilipi 4:5) Ijambo ryo mu rurimi rw’intango ryahinduwe ngo “ukugira ibitegereka” risobanura “kwiyorosha,” rikaba ryerekeza ku gatima k’umuntu adashimika ku vyo afitiye uburenganzira vyose. Iyo mpanuro woyishira mu ngiro gute? (1) Niwirinde kuguma wiyumvira ivyo muri kahise. (Umusiguzi 7:10) (2) Nugire umutima ukunze wo gusabikanya n’umuvyeyi wawe mushasha n’abana biwe. (1 Timoteyo 6:18) (3) Ntubabone nk’ivyaduka.

Ni ikihe muri ivyo vyiyumviro ukwiye kwitwararika gusumba ibindi? ․․․․․

Ingorane ya 3: Kwihanganira ukudafatwa nk’abandi

Uwitwa Tara avuga ati: “Umugabo wa mama yakunda cane abana biwe kuruta uko yadukunda twe na mwene wacu. Yarabagurira ibifungurwa vyose bakunda, akabakoteshereza n’amasenema bipfuza kuraba. Nta co atakora ngo abanezereze.” Gufatwa gutyo biragoye kwihanganira. Ni igiki none cogufasha? Gerageza gutahura igituma umuvyeyi atakuvyaye yoba atakwiyumvamwo nk’uko yiyumvamwo uwo yivyariye. Hari aho bitoba bitumwa n’uko basangiye amaraso, ariko bikaba bitumwa n’ivyo baciyemwo mu buzima bari kumwe. None weho ntiwosanga wiyumvamwo umuvyeyi yakuvyaye kuruta uko wiyumvamwo uwo bubakanye?

 Ariko rero, hariho itandukaniro rinini hagati yo gufatwa nk’abandi no kutarenganywa. Abantu ntibateye kumwe kandi ntibakenera bimwe. Rero, aho kuguma wibaza nimba umuvyeyi wawe mushasha yoba agufata nk’abandi, nugerageze kuraba ko yoba ariko arihatira kukuronsa ivyo ukeneye.

Ni ibiki umuvyeyi wawe mushasha akuronsa?

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Ni ibiki wiyumvira ko atakuronsa?

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 Nimba wiyumvira ko hari ivyo atakuronsa, ubona gute uyaze na we ico kibazo mu rupfasoni?

Kwihangana birazana impera!

Mu bisanzwe, bisaba imyaka itari mike kugira ngo abo mu muryango udasangiye abavyeyi bizigirane ku buryo biyumvanamwo. Aho ni ho inyifato n’imico yabo bitandukanye bibona kunywana, bakabana mu bumwe. Niwihangane rero! Ntiwitege ko uzoca ukundwa ubwo nyene canke ko umuryango uzoca ubwo nyene wunga ubumwe.

Uwitwa Toma ntiyanezerewe na gato igihe nyina wiwe yubakana n’uwundi mugabo. Nyina wiwe yari afise abana bane, uwo mugabo na we akagira batatu. Toma yanditse ati: “Twama twarwanye, twahazutse, twafyuye iminwa, kandi ntitwacana uwaka.” Ni igiki catumye ibintu biteba bikagenda neza? Avuga ati: “Twarakurikije ingingo ngenderwako za Bibiliya, ingorane zibona gutorerwa umuti.”

MU KIGABANE GIKURIKIRA

Bite ho hamwe abo muvukana bose mwoba musangiye abavyeyi bompi mugabo bakaba bagushusha umutwe?

ICANDITSWE NYAMUKURU

“Iherezo ry’ikintu mu nyuma, riraruta intango yaco. Uwihangana araruta uw’umutima wibona.”—Umusiguzi 7:8.

IMPANURO

Kubana n’abana mudasangiye igitsina b’umuvyeyi mushasha birashobora kukubera ikigeragezo mu vy’ukwigenza runtu. Niwirinde rero ivyiyumviro bikuvyurira inambu y’umubiri, kandi urabe neza ko inyambaro yawe canke inyifato yawe bitavyurira abandi inambu y’umubiri.

WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Abana b’umuvyeyi wawe mushasha na bo nyene hari aho vyoba bibagora kumenyera ubuzima bwo muri uwo muryango.

ICO NTEGEKANYA GUKORA!

Nzokwihatira kwongereza icubahiro mfitiye umuvyeyi wanje mushasha mu kwibuka ibi bintu vyiza yakoreye umuryango (andika bibiri muri vyo): ․․․․․

Abana b’umuvyeyi wanje mushasha nibansindira, nzokurikiza ingingo ngenderwako iri mu Baroma 12:21 mu gukora ibi bintu: ․․․․․

Ico noshima kubaza umuvyeyi amvyara canke uwo bubakanye kuri ivyo ni ․․․․․

UVYIBAZAKO IKI?

● Ni ibiki bishobora kuba bihagaritse umutima umuvyeyi wawe mushasha canke abana biwe ku bijanye n’ukubana n’umuryango wanyu?

● Kubera iki bihambaye ko utahura yuko bisaba igihe kugira ngo imigenderanire y’abagize umuryango wanyu mushasha ibe myiza?

[Iciyumviro nyamukuru ku rup. 38]

Umubano wa mama ugira kabiri waruhiye gusambuka. Mugabo gushika n’ubu ndacakundana cane n’abana b’umugabo wiwe wa kabiri. Kuba narabaronse vyambereye kimwe mu bintu vyiza kuruta ibindi vyose bimaze kunshikira.’’—Tara

[Ifoto ku rup. 39]

Kunywanisha imiryango ibiri ni nk’ukuvanga amazi n’isima: bisaba umwanya n’akigoro, mugabo hashobora kuvamwo ikintu gikomeye kandi kiramba